What do you think?
Rate this book
Madness and Me: My Search for Sanity
For many, madness is something read about in books or seen on TV—something scary, foreign, and impossible to understand. For Lisa Nugent and her twin sister Shell, however, madness was impossible to avoid—it was home.
Growing up in Essex in the seventies and eighties, Lisa learned quickly that her family wasn’t like her classmates’ families—their mothers were friendly, fierce, or demure women. They had their quirks, but they didn’t assault their husbands, and their frenzied screams didn’t chase their children out of the house in the middle of the night. Not like her mother.
Now, for the first time, Lisa relives those troubled years, recounting her development from a nervous, shy, and friendless child through to the woman she is today. Madness and Me isn’t just a memoir about surviving an abusive, paranoid parent—it’s about the importance of family, the pain of loss, and learning to love even when it’s the hardest thing in the world to do.
A work of tenderness, dignity, and humour, Madness and Me is sure to appeal to lovers of memoir and drama alike.
- GenresMental IllnessMemoir
190 pages, Kindle Edition
Published February 21, 2019
824 people are currently reading
301 people want to read
Ratings & Reviews
Friends & Following
Create a free account to discover what your friends think of this book!
Community Reviews
Displaying 1 - 30 of 38 reviews
August 28, 2020
I’m always so grateful to those who are willing to share their most intimate and horrifying details of life with a mental ill family member. I’m reading more and more books along this theme and while it’s extremely sad, it’s so real! So I’m grateful. Hopefully we will come to understand more about these different illnesses and our culture will be more accepting of the fact that they are illnesses. Anyway, it’s an amazing, real story of a very difficult life. Just dealing with her moms mental illness is honestly too much for any family to bear, but the author endured several more hardships through her life. Definitely one that will have your heart.
December 28, 2020
Heartbreaking
The author's journey with her mother's mental illness is one that unless you have lived in a household with mental illness, it is hard to fathom the destruction and pain it causes. Like a coin tossed in the water, it ripples out and forever changes lives. We learn to hide it well, seek normal and hope that the truth of the madness does not reveal itself in public. She said it well when she said" the baggage of mental illness never leaves". The health care field is sorely lacking in resources, understanding and treatment. The neglect, domestic violence and abuse is ignored. Everyone is a victim and the scars do not go away easily. Broken hearts, families, relationships, forever left in the wake of mental illness. I commend the author and her twin sister and their families who survived.And God Bless the author for taking care of her mother still.
And forgiving despite the terrible injustices of a disease that deprived Suzanne of a mother,her childhood and profoundly affected her adult life shows the triumph of the human spirit.
The author's journey with her mother's mental illness is one that unless you have lived in a household with mental illness, it is hard to fathom the destruction and pain it causes. Like a coin tossed in the water, it ripples out and forever changes lives. We learn to hide it well, seek normal and hope that the truth of the madness does not reveal itself in public. She said it well when she said" the baggage of mental illness never leaves". The health care field is sorely lacking in resources, understanding and treatment. The neglect, domestic violence and abuse is ignored. Everyone is a victim and the scars do not go away easily. Broken hearts, families, relationships, forever left in the wake of mental illness. I commend the author and her twin sister and their families who survived.And God Bless the author for taking care of her mother still.
And forgiving despite the terrible injustices of a disease that deprived Suzanne of a mother,her childhood and profoundly affected her adult life shows the triumph of the human spirit.
January 16, 2023
This book was a hard one for me to finish. I picked it up so many times and kept laying it aside for another day.
I lived with a mother who never should have had children.
In the end my brothers moved away and pulled away from our Mother, and I alone was the one to stay by her side, helping her, with the help of my husband, until the end of her life.
She was very difficult and suffered from depression. She was complicated and completely unpredictable. My brothers and I never talked about what we lived through until after her passing.
I swore I would never be like she was and always tried to be a very loving and attentive mother to our children.
I am glad to be finished with this book.
I lived with a mother who never should have had children.
In the end my brothers moved away and pulled away from our Mother, and I alone was the one to stay by her side, helping her, with the help of my husband, until the end of her life.
She was very difficult and suffered from depression. She was complicated and completely unpredictable. My brothers and I never talked about what we lived through until after her passing.
I swore I would never be like she was and always tried to be a very loving and attentive mother to our children.
I am glad to be finished with this book.
June 5, 2021
Shattering
A no-holds-barred book of life with mental illness. How it affects everyone in a family; not just the primary person who has it. The generational fallout that occurs, and the toll it can take on those within reach. Lisa’s struggle to find “mom” amidst the turmoil she has been given for a mother is palpable and real. The failure of healthcare to help with her mother’s stability and support is also quite real.
A no-holds-barred book of life with mental illness. How it affects everyone in a family; not just the primary person who has it. The generational fallout that occurs, and the toll it can take on those within reach. Lisa’s struggle to find “mom” amidst the turmoil she has been given for a mother is palpable and real. The failure of healthcare to help with her mother’s stability and support is also quite real.
April 25, 2022
A Good Read
This book focuses on mental illness and the devastating impact it can have on a family. The author and her twin sister, "Shell" grow up in the shadows of their mother's paranoia, delusions and outbursts of violence, hiding in the garden or beneath covers hoping the storm passes quickly. It seldom passes quickly enough for these vulnerable children.
Their father also lives in the home but must work so they can all have a home and food. Ultimately though he is always loving and supportive of his children and does his best to take care of his ill wife. That is, until the fateful episode when things change and father and daughters move. It is for the best but leaves all three feeling guilty for leaving their wife and mother alone in the family home.
This book leaves its readers grappling with some hard questions... I found myself recognizing that guilt that draws us back to those we care about again and again. But can we truly fix another's problems? Even if we can, is it our responsibility? And if we have almost given our "all", is it okay to say " Enough" before we also get battered by the storm? I personally feel that although we care deeply for our families and friends, we cannot save them in many cases, especially if we risk drowning along with them!
This book is reasonably well written with the exception of a very few spelling mistakes. Or perhaps they are instead, words and phrases common in the U.K. of which I am not aware but I really think it is the former.
A solid read nonetheless.
This book focuses on mental illness and the devastating impact it can have on a family. The author and her twin sister, "Shell" grow up in the shadows of their mother's paranoia, delusions and outbursts of violence, hiding in the garden or beneath covers hoping the storm passes quickly. It seldom passes quickly enough for these vulnerable children.
Their father also lives in the home but must work so they can all have a home and food. Ultimately though he is always loving and supportive of his children and does his best to take care of his ill wife. That is, until the fateful episode when things change and father and daughters move. It is for the best but leaves all three feeling guilty for leaving their wife and mother alone in the family home.
This book leaves its readers grappling with some hard questions... I found myself recognizing that guilt that draws us back to those we care about again and again. But can we truly fix another's problems? Even if we can, is it our responsibility? And if we have almost given our "all", is it okay to say " Enough" before we also get battered by the storm? I personally feel that although we care deeply for our families and friends, we cannot save them in many cases, especially if we risk drowning along with them!
This book is reasonably well written with the exception of a very few spelling mistakes. Or perhaps they are instead, words and phrases common in the U.K. of which I am not aware but I really think it is the former.
A solid read nonetheless.
Read
March 25, 2022Bittersweet
I liked that the author lets the reader view personal, intimate details of her life without self-pity or exaggeration. Although it must still be hard to cope with a mother tortured by mental illness the author doesn't paint her mother in a terrible light.
Mental illness still carries a stigma around the world and although there's new development with treatment and different ways of seeking help, this story is heartbreaking because of how many health officials chose to turn the other way.
Clearly the author has endured years of abuse from a mother tortured by mental illness. The strength of the author puts me in awe and yet this story leaves me saddened because of all the years lost. I'd recommend this book to anyone who has ever dealt with mental illness.
The ending was abrupt although it emphasized it wasn't the ending. I suppose I was hoping the mother got the right therapy and treatment to get well again or at least cope with her early life.
This book seems therapeutic to the author but leaves a lot of sad questions.
I liked that the author lets the reader view personal, intimate details of her life without self-pity or exaggeration. Although it must still be hard to cope with a mother tortured by mental illness the author doesn't paint her mother in a terrible light.
Mental illness still carries a stigma around the world and although there's new development with treatment and different ways of seeking help, this story is heartbreaking because of how many health officials chose to turn the other way.
Clearly the author has endured years of abuse from a mother tortured by mental illness. The strength of the author puts me in awe and yet this story leaves me saddened because of all the years lost. I'd recommend this book to anyone who has ever dealt with mental illness.
The ending was abrupt although it emphasized it wasn't the ending. I suppose I was hoping the mother got the right therapy and treatment to get well again or at least cope with her early life.
This book seems therapeutic to the author but leaves a lot of sad questions.
July 10, 2023
This memoir tells of the horrendous conditions the author lived in as a child. Her mom was in and out of psychiatric hospitals. Sometimes she was okay. The family came to cherish those times. Most of the time, though, she was raving mad. She attempted suicide and threatened it even more. She was known to use knives against herself as well as others. Were it not for their dad, Lisa and Shelly would never have survived.
A very good book that will inspire you to determination to overcome whatever circumstances life has you in.
A very good book that will inspire you to determination to overcome whatever circumstances life has you in.
May 21, 2022
Bringing mental health to the forefront.
We need to talk about mental health and how it affects everyone involved. Major Depression has plagued me my whole adult life and this book brought peace, hope and understanding. I feel like this world is drowning in mental health and addiction infliction. Trying to learn to swim in these troubled waters, kicking hard against the strong current that wears you out, hoping to be thrown a life preserver.
We need to talk about mental health and how it affects everyone involved. Major Depression has plagued me my whole adult life and this book brought peace, hope and understanding. I feel like this world is drowning in mental health and addiction infliction. Trying to learn to swim in these troubled waters, kicking hard against the strong current that wears you out, hoping to be thrown a life preserver.
November 8, 2022
absolutely riveting and a true page turner
I sat and read this memoir in 2 spaces of time. The words brought you in to a reality as if you were actually there in the moment. For obstacles one could normally not imagine you are able to share the compassion and empathy and relate with the loss and pain and fear as if it were your own. One of best memoirs I’ve ever read. So happy peace became the authors new identity.
I sat and read this memoir in 2 spaces of time. The words brought you in to a reality as if you were actually there in the moment. For obstacles one could normally not imagine you are able to share the compassion and empathy and relate with the loss and pain and fear as if it were your own. One of best memoirs I’ve ever read. So happy peace became the authors new identity.
January 21, 2021
The topic is very important, not understood and sad for those who have to live this torment. The book was well written and a true story for this authors sorrowful reality. I do think it's wonderful to get the information out there and share with others that may be struggling with mental illness. I just felt the book was a little slow moving for me, but well told.
February 4, 2021
PEOPLE WITH MENTAL ILLNESSES A CAN RELATE TO THE BOOK
186 PAGES A TWIN SISTER AND MOM SUFFERED WITH A LIFE IN CHAOS WITH THE DISEASE LOVED THE CRYSTAL CLEAR POLORID PICTURES
BUT THE AUTHOR GOT OF SUBJECT SPACING BETWEEN PARAGRAPHS AND SENTENCES BUT A GOOD BOOK I STILL CONGRATS TO AUTHOR I CAN TELL THIS HER FIRST BOOK BUT VERY READABLE!?!
HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY
186 PAGES A TWIN SISTER AND MOM SUFFERED WITH A LIFE IN CHAOS WITH THE DISEASE LOVED THE CRYSTAL CLEAR POLORID PICTURES
BUT THE AUTHOR GOT OF SUBJECT SPACING BETWEEN PARAGRAPHS AND SENTENCES BUT A GOOD BOOK I STILL CONGRATS TO AUTHOR I CAN TELL THIS HER FIRST BOOK BUT VERY READABLE!?!
HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY
March 6, 2021
Heartbreaking!!!!!
This book gives you a glimpse into the world of mental illness. We have for far too long neglected to provide care and treatment for those with mental health issues. Society suffers as a result along with those afflicted and their families. It's time to address the needs of these victims.
This book gives you a glimpse into the world of mental illness. We have for far too long neglected to provide care and treatment for those with mental health issues. Society suffers as a result along with those afflicted and their families. It's time to address the needs of these victims.
June 11, 2021
Very good book
I really enjoyed this book. I can not imagine the pain these twins felt all their lives. I think it’s great that the writer has forgiven her mother bc if we don’t forgive we only hurt ourselves more than anybody!! It is also great that she takes care of her mother. That tells me what type of person she grew up to be in spite of the childhood and life she has had
I really enjoyed this book. I can not imagine the pain these twins felt all their lives. I think it’s great that the writer has forgiven her mother bc if we don’t forgive we only hurt ourselves more than anybody!! It is also great that she takes care of her mother. That tells me what type of person she grew up to be in spite of the childhood and life she has had
July 22, 2021
Unreal!
This book was very interesting and easy to read. The story is of a mother who could never be a great mom because she was mentally ill. She had a husband and twin daughters who tried desperately to understand why their mother was so crazy. They were subject to their mother's wild and desperate moods, and their life was far from normal. Quite an interesting book!
This book was very interesting and easy to read. The story is of a mother who could never be a great mom because she was mentally ill. She had a husband and twin daughters who tried desperately to understand why their mother was so crazy. They were subject to their mother's wild and desperate moods, and their life was far from normal. Quite an interesting book!
November 5, 2021
Good book, quick read.
Interesting to read a book on this subject from a child's perspective. It's astonishing that the author continued a relationship with her mother and didn't completely cut herself off for her own health and well being. How the mother couldn't be permanently committed is beyond me.
Interesting to read a book on this subject from a child's perspective. It's astonishing that the author continued a relationship with her mother and didn't completely cut herself off for her own health and well being. How the mother couldn't be permanently committed is beyond me.
November 16, 2021
Why keep trying
Why do people not realize that in certain situations, the only person that can be saved is themselves. This book clearly shows how staying in an unhealthy environment clearly has a devastating effect on generations of families.
So sad, family's love and devotion shouldn't be described as this.
Why do people not realize that in certain situations, the only person that can be saved is themselves. This book clearly shows how staying in an unhealthy environment clearly has a devastating effect on generations of families.
So sad, family's love and devotion shouldn't be described as this.
January 13, 2023
Intriguing enough to keep reading
This was one of those books that was intriguing enough to keep reading, but not exactly a standout memoir. I think the writing could use a little work but I did finish 90% of it in one sitting, so it doesn’t make it impossible to enjoy the book by any means!
This was one of those books that was intriguing enough to keep reading, but not exactly a standout memoir. I think the writing could use a little work but I did finish 90% of it in one sitting, so it doesn’t make it impossible to enjoy the book by any means!
May 5, 2021
Sad but somehow uplifting
I don't usually leave reviews, but I was moved by the author's honest look at her childhood and her mother's mental illness. My mother was also mentally ill and I applaud the author in her struggles for a normal life.
I don't usually leave reviews, but I was moved by the author's honest look at her childhood and her mother's mental illness. My mother was also mentally ill and I applaud the author in her struggles for a normal life.
May 4, 2022
very hard to get into this book
I’m not sure exactly why this book failed to hold my attention, it’s not very detailed and jumps around a bit. Overall it wasn’t a bad book, just failed to really engage my attention.
I’m not sure exactly why this book failed to hold my attention, it’s not very detailed and jumps around a bit. Overall it wasn’t a bad book, just failed to really engage my attention.
May 18, 2022
Excellent Read
Lisa describes her life as the child of a mentally ill mother and her own struggles to overcome the genetic path laid out for her. Against all odds, the cycle can be broken!
Lisa describes her life as the child of a mentally ill mother and her own struggles to overcome the genetic path laid out for her. Against all odds, the cycle can be broken!
May 30, 2022
A compelling story that I read in just a couple of days. What would it be like to get raised by a psychotic mother, both unpredictable and violent? This was an interesting memoir, and I’d really rate it 31/2 stars only for the lack of good editing that sometimes made the book feel clumsy.
September 8, 2022
I enjoyed this book a lot. My mental health has been a challenge and I loved reading about the trials of this family and how they were able to overcome the darkness they grew up in. It's hard to read some of the things they went through but overall the book was very good.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
November 23, 2022
Excellent insight
Often we hear about the abuse, but not necessarily the effects that it always has in everyday life. This book gave us that along with compassion for those who succumb to mental illness because of a shattered past along with their families.
Often we hear about the abuse, but not necessarily the effects that it always has in everyday life. This book gave us that along with compassion for those who succumb to mental illness because of a shattered past along with their families.
September 3, 2023
An amazing life of love, hate and trans bonds
For all survivors of ptsd, the theme of drowning is the same. But survivors have no escape except to allow love in. Heartwrenching, but such good writing and such honesty, all I can say is thank you for sharing.
For all survivors of ptsd, the theme of drowning is the same. But survivors have no escape except to allow love in. Heartwrenching, but such good writing and such honesty, all I can say is thank you for sharing.
December 8, 2023
A raw, true story of living with a parent with a mental health disorder
Loved the author's way of mixing some humor in with the horror that she grew up with. I felt the pain of each family member, even her mother ❤️
Loved the author's way of mixing some humor in with the horror that she grew up with. I felt the pain of each family member, even her mother ❤️
July 31, 2024
What A Story!
Thank you for having the courage to write your family's story. Mental illness affects everyone in the family in some way. Each of you learned to live with it as best you could.
Thank you for having the courage to write your family's story. Mental illness affects everyone in the family in some way. Each of you learned to live with it as best you could.
March 12, 2019
Wonderful
Honestly one of the most thought provoking books I have read in a long while.
What courage it must have taken to live your early years.
You are a beautiful person, never forget that.
Honestly one of the most thought provoking books I have read in a long while.
What courage it must have taken to live your early years.
You are a beautiful person, never forget that.
March 12, 2019
Good book. Harrowing story of how two sisters survive livening with a mentally affected mum. And how they deal with her. Certainly gives you something to think about.
March 23, 2021
Not what I expected
Very interesting! I only hope my daughter becomes as strong. Although her story is very different her feelings are very similar.
Very interesting! I only hope my daughter becomes as strong. Although her story is very different her feelings are very similar.
April 17, 2021
Gives me hope in my search for peace! Amazing!
I'm a fan of true stories and triumph! I hope I can forgive and be forgave by my loved ones dear to me.
I'm a fan of true stories and triumph! I hope I can forgive and be forgave by my loved ones dear to me.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 38 reviews