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I'm Saying No!
In spite of the #MeToo and #TimesUp movements, many women are still afraid to say no to unwanted sexual advances and reluctant to report sexual violations. Far too many college students are being raped and are afraid to report it. Women are subjected to sexual harassment, sexual bullying, and sexual pressure every day on the street, at work, and at home but are unable to speak truth to power or to report these sexual offenses. I’m Saying No! is written specifically for these women―women who are still afraid to speak up for themselves, women who need to learn how to do so, and women whose personal history of child sexual abuse or sexual assault as an adult has wounded them so much that they have lost their voice. Here, Beverly Engel―an internationally recognized psychotherapist and acclaimed advocate for victims of sexual, physical, and emotional abuse―offers a ground-breaking program to help all the women who have been silenced by past trauma, women who were raised to believe they didn’t have a right to say no, and women who have spoken out in the past only to go unheard. Bold and timely, I’m Saying No! offers women the encouragement, support, and guidelines they need in order to become the powerful women they are―women who believe in themselves and stand up for themselves.
- GenresNonfictionFeminism
256 pages, Paperback
Published April 2, 2019
About the author
Beverly Engel
47 books235 followersBeverly Engel has been a psychotherapist for thirty years, specializing in the areas of abuse recovery, relationships, women’s issues and sexuality. She is also the best-selling author of 20 self-help books, many of which have been featured on national television and radio programs (Oprah, CNN, Ricki Lake, Starting Over) as well as national print media (O Magazine, Cosmopolitan, Ladies Home Journal, Redbook, Psychology Today, The Washington Post, The LA Times, and The Chicago Tribune to name a few).
She is considered one of the world’s leading experts on the issue of emotional abuse, as well as a pioneer on the issue, having written one of the first recovery books on the subject (The Emotionally Abused Woman).
She is considered one of the world’s leading experts on the issue of emotional abuse, as well as a pioneer on the issue, having written one of the first recovery books on the subject (The Emotionally Abused Woman).
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Displaying 1 - 10 of 10 reviews
April 27, 2019
I'm Saying NO! Is an empowering and eye opening read. The statistics are staggering and unbelievably disgusting. It's so unfortunate as women we face so many forms of discrimination. I'm Saying NO! Is about finding our voices and standing up for ourselves and others and looking harassment in the face. As women we all have either experienced it ourselves or know someone who has experienced some form of sexual assault, harrassment, etc. A great read for everyone interested in speaking up and speaking out.
March 8, 2025
This needs to be read by EVERYONE but, especially those with a traumatic past.
“ Far too many college students are being raped and are afraid to report it. Women are subjected to sexual harassment, sexual bullying, and sexual pressure every day on the street, at work, and at home but are unable to speak truth to power or to report these sexual offenses. I’m Saying No! is written specifically for these women―women who are still afraid to speak up for themselves, women who need to learn how to do so, and women whose personal history of child sexual abuse or sexual assault as an adult has wounded them so much that they have lost their voice”
Get your voice back. Or let someone that loves you say it for you. Nothing should stop you from saying no. In every developed country in the world there are Witness and Witness family/friends Protection Services Available. They work from anything between domestic violence and all out trafficking and torture. You just need to say what’s happening to the right person the right way and you will never be at risk again…that goes for your loved ones TOO!!! They act immediately and come in force, get everyone to safety and then develop the plan, they cover housing, food, relocation, name changes, full identity changes…you CAN start over and bring your loved ones that are in danger too. They/Them are on your side and trying to protect you I know this and TheyandThem will make sure you are ok. You are special and shouldn’t suffer a second longer.
“ Far too many college students are being raped and are afraid to report it. Women are subjected to sexual harassment, sexual bullying, and sexual pressure every day on the street, at work, and at home but are unable to speak truth to power or to report these sexual offenses. I’m Saying No! is written specifically for these women―women who are still afraid to speak up for themselves, women who need to learn how to do so, and women whose personal history of child sexual abuse or sexual assault as an adult has wounded them so much that they have lost their voice”
You are not alone. None of you are. To anyone out there suffering message me, someone, anyone. Ask for help. I will gladly buy this for anyone that needs it. No repayment needed.
Get help. There’s nothing stopping you. TheyandThem promise too. They’re on your side not theirs. They don’t want you to suffer like this either.
“ Far too many college students are being raped and are afraid to report it. Women are subjected to sexual harassment, sexual bullying, and sexual pressure every day on the street, at work, and at home but are unable to speak truth to power or to report these sexual offenses. I’m Saying No! is written specifically for these women―women who are still afraid to speak up for themselves, women who need to learn how to do so, and women whose personal history of child sexual abuse or sexual assault as an adult has wounded them so much that they have lost their voice”
Get your voice back. Or let someone that loves you say it for you. Nothing should stop you from saying no. In every developed country in the world there are Witness and Witness family/friends Protection Services Available. They work from anything between domestic violence and all out trafficking and torture. You just need to say what’s happening to the right person the right way and you will never be at risk again…that goes for your loved ones TOO!!! They act immediately and come in force, get everyone to safety and then develop the plan, they cover housing, food, relocation, name changes, full identity changes…you CAN start over and bring your loved ones that are in danger too. They/Them are on your side and trying to protect you I know this and TheyandThem will make sure you are ok. You are special and shouldn’t suffer a second longer.
“ Far too many college students are being raped and are afraid to report it. Women are subjected to sexual harassment, sexual bullying, and sexual pressure every day on the street, at work, and at home but are unable to speak truth to power or to report these sexual offenses. I’m Saying No! is written specifically for these women―women who are still afraid to speak up for themselves, women who need to learn how to do so, and women whose personal history of child sexual abuse or sexual assault as an adult has wounded them so much that they have lost their voice”
You are not alone. None of you are. To anyone out there suffering message me, someone, anyone. Ask for help. I will gladly buy this for anyone that needs it. No repayment needed.
Get help. There’s nothing stopping you. TheyandThem promise too. They’re on your side not theirs. They don’t want you to suffer like this either.
April 12, 2019
I was honored to be selected to be a part of the #IMSAYINGNO campaign and it could not have been more timely.
Today on my blog I’m sharing our family’s experience dealing with sexual assault and a situation that occurred yesterday as I was writing this post to share.
Yesterday is why books like this one are desperately needed.
I’m Saying NO! does an excellent job of helping former victims find their unique voice. Many, many times it’s far more complicated than just telling someone to say NO. For someone who has already been harmed, healing has to occur to get to that place and this book provides sounds steps and exercises towards saying NO.
There are also valuable tools for parents and advocates discussed in this book. I have had to learn to advocate for my daughter in a way that makes a mama bear look tame. And the more I have understood about where she was coming from the more effective I have become. What took me a year to learn, is in this book.
But a few words about that – this book is not a substitute for therapy. The therapists who have helped our family through this past year have been invaluable. There are also parts of this book that could be very upsetting for former victims without the assistance of a therapist. There are plenty of warnings throughout the book that warn of triggers which I appreciated.
As yesterday reminded me, there is still work to be done and I am grateful for a book that recognized the need and went beyond the initial movements.
If you are a parent, this book is a great place to start. We need to be talking with our kids much younger than we probably think – I know this was my experience.
If you are an educator, you are on the front line and the more you understand about what your students are facing, the more compassionate and empowering you will be.
And finally, if you are a former victim, with support this book can be a great aid in your healing and recovery of your voice.
Thank you to She Writes Press and @booksparks for a free copy of this book in exchange for my honest review.
My full story can be found here:
https://bluntscissorsbookreviews.com/...
Today on my blog I’m sharing our family’s experience dealing with sexual assault and a situation that occurred yesterday as I was writing this post to share.
Yesterday is why books like this one are desperately needed.
I’m Saying NO! does an excellent job of helping former victims find their unique voice. Many, many times it’s far more complicated than just telling someone to say NO. For someone who has already been harmed, healing has to occur to get to that place and this book provides sounds steps and exercises towards saying NO.
There are also valuable tools for parents and advocates discussed in this book. I have had to learn to advocate for my daughter in a way that makes a mama bear look tame. And the more I have understood about where she was coming from the more effective I have become. What took me a year to learn, is in this book.
But a few words about that – this book is not a substitute for therapy. The therapists who have helped our family through this past year have been invaluable. There are also parts of this book that could be very upsetting for former victims without the assistance of a therapist. There are plenty of warnings throughout the book that warn of triggers which I appreciated.
As yesterday reminded me, there is still work to be done and I am grateful for a book that recognized the need and went beyond the initial movements.
If you are a parent, this book is a great place to start. We need to be talking with our kids much younger than we probably think – I know this was my experience.
If you are an educator, you are on the front line and the more you understand about what your students are facing, the more compassionate and empowering you will be.
And finally, if you are a former victim, with support this book can be a great aid in your healing and recovery of your voice.
Thank you to She Writes Press and @booksparks for a free copy of this book in exchange for my honest review.
My full story can be found here:
https://bluntscissorsbookreviews.com/...
March 1, 2019
Intelligent and helpful guide for everyone!
Thanks to Edelweiss and She Writes Press for the opportunity to read and review I’m Saying No! by Beverly Engel!
Education and knowledge leads to empowerment and protection. The introductory quote fits perfectly with the concept of this book, “For everything that gets taken from you, don’t let your voice be one of them.” -Anonymous.
The author carefully explains and describes the actions that everyone should take to protect themselves from being used in any way or harmed. Her carefulness shows that she truly wants to help us all become stronger and doesn’t want us to feel like a victim or at fault in any way. The best two tips for staying safe are the following:
-Stay focused and stay safe
-Use all your senses
METRAC’s free phone app generates response suggestions for harassment situations and can be helpful in situations where just walking away isn’t enough. I love the suggestions of creative ways to take action against a harasser, such as writing down their license plate number or writing down the statement that was said to you or telling the harasser that you’re conducting a harassment survey. These are awesome ideas that will possibly throw off the situation so the perpetrator loses his steam! This book is a confidence-building and helpful guide to keeping ourselves strong and safe! 5 stars for a book that everyone needs to read to either protect themselves or to become more aware of how people treat others.
Thanks to Edelweiss and She Writes Press for the opportunity to read and review I’m Saying No! by Beverly Engel!
Education and knowledge leads to empowerment and protection. The introductory quote fits perfectly with the concept of this book, “For everything that gets taken from you, don’t let your voice be one of them.” -Anonymous.
The author carefully explains and describes the actions that everyone should take to protect themselves from being used in any way or harmed. Her carefulness shows that she truly wants to help us all become stronger and doesn’t want us to feel like a victim or at fault in any way. The best two tips for staying safe are the following:
-Stay focused and stay safe
-Use all your senses
METRAC’s free phone app generates response suggestions for harassment situations and can be helpful in situations where just walking away isn’t enough. I love the suggestions of creative ways to take action against a harasser, such as writing down their license plate number or writing down the statement that was said to you or telling the harasser that you’re conducting a harassment survey. These are awesome ideas that will possibly throw off the situation so the perpetrator loses his steam! This book is a confidence-building and helpful guide to keeping ourselves strong and safe! 5 stars for a book that everyone needs to read to either protect themselves or to become more aware of how people treat others.
October 5, 2021
Beverly Engel’s book, I’m Saying No! (2019) has some decent advice for women and girls regarding sexual assault, sexual harassment, and sexual pressure. However, it lacks information for men, especially fathers, on this important issue. I found Gretchen Carlson’s book, Be Fierce (2017) to be much more helpful and better written.
Engel opted for more of a formulistic self-help book, as evidenced as her job as a psychotherapist. She also indulged in political commentary, calling out President Trump, but did not highlight the offences perpetrated by President Clinton (e.g. the Monica Lewinsky affair), Governor Cuomo (and his numerous sexual harassment offences), or President Biden (reports of his groping of women). I like to see balance in a book.
On production values, the fonts were all over the place, some of the phrasing was poor, and it became distracting to read.
Engel also did not furnish her personal experiences involving sexual harassment. Rather, she lectured the reader from a distance. I imagined her in a room imbued with the setting of a stereotypical counseling chair.
Rather than reading Engel’s reporting on sexual abuses, I’d suggest reading a personal account outlined in either Be Fierce (2017) by Gretchen Carlson or COMPELLED: Workplace Sexual Harassment, Backlash, Bullying & Gaslighting (2021) by Karen Koslowsky-Jones.
Engel opted for more of a formulistic self-help book, as evidenced as her job as a psychotherapist. She also indulged in political commentary, calling out President Trump, but did not highlight the offences perpetrated by President Clinton (e.g. the Monica Lewinsky affair), Governor Cuomo (and his numerous sexual harassment offences), or President Biden (reports of his groping of women). I like to see balance in a book.
On production values, the fonts were all over the place, some of the phrasing was poor, and it became distracting to read.
Engel also did not furnish her personal experiences involving sexual harassment. Rather, she lectured the reader from a distance. I imagined her in a room imbued with the setting of a stereotypical counseling chair.
Rather than reading Engel’s reporting on sexual abuses, I’d suggest reading a personal account outlined in either Be Fierce (2017) by Gretchen Carlson or COMPELLED: Workplace Sexual Harassment, Backlash, Bullying & Gaslighting (2021) by Karen Koslowsky-Jones.
March 7, 2019
Excellent book!
August 4, 2019
Excellent guide that walks women through a wide variety of situations and empowers them to ditch the “nice girl” baggage so that they can establish the boundaries all women deserve.
December 3, 2020
informative, practical, therapeutic, empowering, solution-oriented
March 29, 2023
Full of useful, clear information.
February 10, 2020
Follow me on Instagram @bookmarkedbya / instagram.com/bookmarkedbya and see the full review at my blog:https://bookmarkedbya.wordpress.com/2...
*Thanks to Booksparks for sending me this book.
A valuable self-help resource for coping with, standing up against, and staying safe in the face of sexual assault and harassment.
As is elegantly prefaced at the start of the book, no one and nothing causes sexual violence other than a sexually violent person. Engel introduces compelling statistics, tips for coming to terms with past sexual trauma, and actionable exercises for increasing your self-confidence. At its core, this self-help book provides you tools to maintain as much control of your body and safety as is possible, while also reassuring you that nothing you did, could have done, or didn’t do caused sexual violence.
I was concerned this book would be too harsh and might even suggest that women can control whether they’re assaulted or not. Fortunately, this is absolutely not the message Engel communicates! She writes with compassion, expertise, and a little bit of tough love in the hopes that you may be prepared in the face of sexual violence. I will say that a lot of the chapters and exercises are geared directly towards women who have been sexually assaulted - especially in childhood - and so I didn’t get as much out of it as maybe another audience would. I think this would be a great resource for young women wanting to better understand the risks and realities of sexual violence.
*Thanks to Booksparks for sending me this book.
A valuable self-help resource for coping with, standing up against, and staying safe in the face of sexual assault and harassment.
As is elegantly prefaced at the start of the book, no one and nothing causes sexual violence other than a sexually violent person. Engel introduces compelling statistics, tips for coming to terms with past sexual trauma, and actionable exercises for increasing your self-confidence. At its core, this self-help book provides you tools to maintain as much control of your body and safety as is possible, while also reassuring you that nothing you did, could have done, or didn’t do caused sexual violence.
I was concerned this book would be too harsh and might even suggest that women can control whether they’re assaulted or not. Fortunately, this is absolutely not the message Engel communicates! She writes with compassion, expertise, and a little bit of tough love in the hopes that you may be prepared in the face of sexual violence. I will say that a lot of the chapters and exercises are geared directly towards women who have been sexually assaulted - especially in childhood - and so I didn’t get as much out of it as maybe another audience would. I think this would be a great resource for young women wanting to better understand the risks and realities of sexual violence.
Displaying 1 - 10 of 10 reviews