I reeeaallly wanted to like this book as much as everyone else did. I went way past the point of boredom to see if it got better and it only got cringier, unfortunately.
Sarah is a CNA whose patient’s son has formed an obsession over. Socially awkward and a little slow, he has been sending her creepy gifts and letters. Sarah begins self defense lessons at a gym to try to protect herself, before she eventually disappears and Cole has to find her. Sounds good, right? It should have been... However, there seemed to be a lot of off-putting and problematic issues in this book.
1. Cole starts hitting on her during their first gym lesson (of which he’s the owner) and first real meeting. It’s gross and unprofessional, regardless of whether she finds him attractive. Could he not at least wait until she’s done paying him to do his job? She even discusses how fast and weird it is
“I’d like to get to know you better, Sarah. Outside of your self-defense lessons. I want to watch you make other people’s days brighter.”
“Why?”
“What do you mean, why?” he asked.
“Just that. I mean, look at you . . . then look at me. I’d bet a hundred bucks I’m not the kind of woman you normally date. Do you ask out every woman you train? It just seems . . . fast.”
2. When she doesn’t immediately agree, he begins badgering her, even using her delay of “if I say no, things could get weird” as persuasion to say yes. The whole conversation is gross and manipulative and left a bad taste in my mouth. What if she hadn’t found him attractive? He comes off no better than the creep who won’t take no for an answer as the reason she’s getting self defense lessons in the first place.
Sarah licked her lips nervously, and his gaze immediately followed the movement. Cole persisted. “Say you’ll go out with me, Sarah.”
“I thought I was here to figure out how to defend myself.”
“You are. And we’ll get to that. Agreeing to go out with me in no way affects whether or not I’ll teach you some basic moves that will allow you to get away from someone and get to safety.”
“But if I say no, things could get weird.”
“Then say yes,” Cole cajoled. “I swear you’ve got nothing to fear from me. I’ll even get references if that will make you feel safer.”
Ew.
3. He’s incredibly overbearing, frequently does things without asking and only tells her what he thinks she should know about.
Sarah could only gape at him. “How’d we go from me wanting some tips on protecting myself to having Ace Security investigating Owen and you and me hanging out at each other’s houses?” He smiled at her again, but didn’t answer her question.
Or
“Thank you.”
“Stop thanking me,” Cole said sternly. “I’m going to get this guy off your back so I’ve got all your attention. I’m a selfish bastard, and I don’t want you wondering when and where he’s going to pop out. I want you to concentrate only on me and our relationship.” That doesn’t sound overbearing at all...
Or
“Sarah? Are you busy tomorrow night?”
“Me?” she asked, confused. Ryder and the others chuckled. “Yeah, you. You want to do a girls’ night with Grace, Alexis, Bailey, and Felicity?” She could only continue to frown at Ryder.
“Yeah, she does,” Cole told his friend. “She’ll be with me, so just shoot me the details, and I’ll make sure she’s there.”
Is the woman incapable of answering for herself?
4. Their relationship seems all about him.
“It’s just me,” Sarah told him. “I don’t need a lot of room.” His gaze found hers, and it looked like he was hesitating to speak.
“What?” she asked.
“I want to say something, but I have a feeling it’s too soon.”
Now she was really curious. “It’s okay. Say it.”
“Fine . . . but remember, you asked for it. It’s not just you who will be in here. I’m planning on spending as much time with you as you’ll let me, just as I want you at my place as much as I can get you there. I’m not opposed to a queen-size bed, which will fit in here without any issues, because I like to snuggle when I sleep. But a king-size bed won’t fit, not without totally overwhelming the space. And you’ll need a big TV, and a comfortable couch. Once you get all that furniture in here, it might be cramped. And I like to cook. I’m not that great at it, but it’s fun to try. The kitchen is functional, but I’ve seen the layouts of the two-and three-bedroom places here, and the kitchens are much bigger.”
Hear all that? Big bed because HE likes to cuddle. Big tv for HIM to watch, comfortable couch for HIM to sit on. Nice kitchen cause HE likes to cook. I’m sorry, whose apartment have we been standing in? Cause they’ve known each other like a week at this point.
5. He treats her like some weird Mary Sue, “Saint Sarah” schtick and it’s just WEIRD. He’s always going on about how good and perfect and kind and generous she is and how he needs that to “balance him out”. He seems more in love with the idea of her saintliness than actually her.
She needed someone to make sure no one took advantage of her kind soul, and he needed her to balance out his rough edges.”
Or
“But together, you and me just make sense. You’re the light, and I’m the darkness. You’re everything good, and I’m walking the fine line of being an asshole all the time. We balance each other out.”
6. Now, where do we get to see this ultimate badness, these rough edges, this darkness in him? I’ll let him tell it in his own cringy words...
“But the words got stuck in his throat. It was his turn to panic. He felt as if so much was at stake, and he didn’t want to do anything that would spook her or make her have second thoughts. “I . . . I’m too outspoken.” The words poured out of him. Once started, he couldn’t stop. “I’ve never given money to a homeless person in my life. I live in an apartment because I have no desire to do yard work whatsoever. I don’t know the names of my neighbors because I’ve never tried to get to know them. One time, when a couple of Boy Scouts knocked on my door, I pretended I wasn’t home so I didn’t have to buy any popcorn from them. And I only gave Francesca a free membership to the gym so I could get free food. I’m selfish and an asshole.” Cole felt sick. He didn’t want Sarah to know any of this shit, but he also didn’t want her to find out later how fucked up he was and leave him. “I probably don’t tip enough, and I always speed. I tend to see the worst in people, especially after what happened to Felicity. Most kids scare me to death, and I’m ashamed of the number of nights I’ve had ice cream for dinner.”
He opened his mouth to continue, but Sarah put her hand over his lips, effectively shutting him up.
“You aren’t going to convince me that you aren’t a good person, Cole. So you might as well stop.”
Hear that? He’s literally nauseated about her finding out “how fucked up he is” because he eats ice cream for dinner, doesn’t like yard work, and hides so he doesn’t have to buy things from people who knock on his door. Satan himself, in the flesh 😂.
Honestly, I just couldn’t any more. 2 stars for the interesting, but unrealized premise.