Emptied: Experiencing the Fullness of a Poured-Out Marriage

by Wynter Pitts, Jonathan Pitts

For a Marriage That Brims Over

Maybe you entered marriage with some pretty high expectations—most couples do. Jonathan and Wynter Pitts did. Until the reality of married life spilled into their expectations.

Jonathan and Wynter invite you on a journey to explore a different approach to your happily-ever-after marriage. Join them for an honest look at the lessons learned as they navigated the ups and downs of early marriage while raising four daughters.

Here you will...

be encouraged to remove the pressure of a keeping-up-with-the-Joneses marriagelearn to let go of assumptions and embrace your role as servant-leader to your spouseexperience how God can pour His purpose, passion, and fullness into your relationshipEmptied is a way of life. It’s not about trying harder, it’s about thinking differently. Only when you are emptied of your own self-focused motivations can God pour new life into you for the abundant marriage and satisfying relationship you long for. Are you ready to approach your marriage poured out, ready to be filled up?

Genres: Marriage, Nonfiction, Christian, Faith

226 pages, Kindle Edition

Published January 8, 2019

About the author

Wynter Pitts was the founder of For Girls Like You, a ministry to girls that includes a print magazine, and the niece of Dr. Tony Evans. She had a drive to introduce young girls to Christian values so they can walk passionately and boldly. A native of Baltimore, Wynter resided in Dallas, Texas, with her husband, Jonathan, and their four daughters.

Reviews

[Emily P · Rating 5 out of 5]

Emptied is a great book for marrieds or for those engaged to be married. Being married means being less selfish and putting another's needs above your own, posits Wynter and her husband, Jonathan. Throughout the book we hear stories of their fledgling marriage and the issues each brought into their home with them. Beyond the pretty wedding photos, beyond the great dress and handsome tuxedo, all of us bring baggage with us, from our family issues to our ideals about what marriage should be.

Fifteen years later, Wynter and her husband have four girls and a marriage that has seen it's share of ups and downs. I found a lot of helpful information in "Emptied" and would recommend this book to anyone who wants to start off on the right foot in their marriage, or change the course of where their marriage is heading. Practical tips, along with questions for review together at the end of each chapter leads to encourage deeper conversation with one another.

I must add that this title is the last one that Wynter completed before her unexpected passing in 2018. There will be a hole in the Christian writing/speaking community with her loss, and I felt a little bittersweet about finishing the book. However, she left a beautiful legacy of faith interwoven into this book, and I took away advice that I plan on adapting for use in my own 16 year marriage. This was a wonderful read and I am thankful to #NetGalley for an advanced reader PDF. All opinions are my own and I chose to review.

[Karen · Rating 5 out of 5]

I thought this one one of the best marriage books I have read - ever. I deeply appreciated Wynter and Jonathan's willingness to take us deep into their marriage and the ups and downs that come with life together. I laughed at their antics and cried with their heartbreak. But through it all, I rejoiced in their discovery of the best thing on earth - marriage.

This book is filled with Biblical content to back the stories and examples the Pitts' put on the pages for us. While many marriage books also contain scripture, this one takes it deeper than I have ever experienced. Having this depth of Biblical content shows how well this couple knows their scripture and how to use it to apply to daily life.

I know this was one of the last projects Wynter worked on before she passed away. I think it is amazing that this content and words of wisdom are what she left for the rest of us to learn from. I think she and Jonathan had a strong marriage based on Christ and love, and they can be proud of the legacy left to their daughters.

I highly recommend this book to newlyweds, those married for a while, and those getting ready to begin this wonderful journey of marriage.

[Amy · Rating 3 out of 5]

As I read Emptied: Experiencing the Fullness of a Poured-out Marriage, I recognized a lot of the things that I have been learning over the last 5 years. I’ve watched marriages struggle, thrive and dissolve. We’ve walked a road of wrestling with what it means to lean on God and pour ourselves out for the other.

Emptied felt like a familiar companion, walking alongside the road of marriage with me. The things that Jonathan and Wynter Pitts write about in the pages of Emptied were not shaming in any way. Rather, it was an encouragement to keep trying – knowing we’ll never get it perfectly. But it’s more about the journey of learning to pour out for the other than it is getting your own needs met.

I appreciated the Pitts’ conversational style of writing, and I felt extremely affirmed as I read the book. While I appreciated the Pitts’ desire to share the things that they learned through their marriage in an effort to help others, it felt like something was missing from the book. I couldn’t quite put my finger on what I was hoping for – but there was a depth missing.

I do think this book is a great starting place for those about to enter into marriage, or just starting out.

I received a copy of this book from the publisher. This review is my own, honest opinion.

[Blessed · Rating 5 out of 5]

Start with three things:
1. the book
2. a large box of tissues
3. at least a half dozen warm donuts

The book is guaranteed to: increase your awe of how good God is, your passion for experiencing a God-centered marriage, and use up at least one box of Kleenex

Then cozy in and experience a weaving of stories and Scripture to encourage any marriage.

[Tony Fraley · Rating 5 out of 5]

Emptied

I really enjoyed walking through their journey seeing where God infiltrated their marriage and each other’s thinking. It was a great reminder to not look at the things of the world, but to focus first on Him, trusting Him in all things, and the focus on my marriage, trusting God through the daily ins and outs.

[Linda · Rating 5 out of 5]

Jonathan and Wynter do a great job of integrating their story with stories from the Bible. It's a great read, reminding us to set aside self for the good of the "we".

[Sarah · Rating 5 out of 5]

Last July, I was serving on the launch team for Wynter Pitts’ book for girls. She died suddenly right when the book was released. Little did I know that Wynter and her husband Jonathan were also putting the finishing touches on this marriage book, called Emptied.

When you hear words from someone who is already gone, you pay more attention. I learned much from this beautiful book on marriage. Both Jonathan and Wynter reveal their most selfish sides to help you understand how selfishness can destroy your marriage. Though neither of them committed gross sins like adultery or addiction, their selfishness began eroding their connection. They use their own marriage lessons to teach us how to empty ourselves and serve our spouses for improved marriages.

This book does a very good job of going back and forth between Jonathan’s stories and Wynter’s stories. You learn valuable lessons from each of them. I can think of no better book to help you rid yourself of selfishness and grow a servant heart. It is gently and beautifully told, and I’m honored to learn more about their too-brief marriage through this book.

I received a preview copy of Emptied from Harvest House Publishers.

[Shannon Holmes · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a must read for anyone that is engaged or newly married. There was so much truth, wisdom, and love poured into the pages. It was a little bittersweet knowing this is the last book Wynter wrote before her death, but what a beautiful life she and Jonathan shared.

[Aminata Coote · Rating 5 out of 5]

I enjoyed reading this book because the couple was so transparent about their lives. It made me realize that I'm not weird or abnormal. The struggles of marriage, while they differ per couple, have enough common ground so we can learn from each other. I also felt a measure of sadness while reading this book knowing that Jonathan had to go through the launch of this work after the death of his wife and co-author. It made me remember that life is short and every moment we have with our partner is one to be cherished.

Know God - the primary theme of Emptied is that we need to imitate Jesus by emptying our marriage of self. The expectations that we came into the marriage with may not fully align with the vision God has for marriage in general or our marriage in particular. We have to empty our pre-marriage identity at the foot of the cross in order to be made over into the image and identity God intends for us through marriage.

Know yourself - both Wynter and Johnathan spoke frankly about the habits and traits (fruit) they brought into their marriage. Without knowledge of self, they wouldn't have been able to do that. By their example, we are encouraged to take inventory of the fruit we bring in into our own marriage. Only then will we be able to truly empty ourselves for the benefit of our partner.

Run your race - God has a unique plan for each of us. He has a unique plan for every marriage. We are not going to accomplish that unique purpose by doing what everyone else does. We have to tap into the blueprint that God has for our marriage to become the best spouse we can be.

Thanks to NetGalley and Harvest House for the review copy.

[Katie Fischer · Rating 4 out of 5]

In Emptied, Jonathan and Wynter Pitts encourage readers to empty ourselves of selfish, sinful behavior and ask God to fill us with the characteristics that lead to a truly fulfilling marriage. All of their ideas, stories and Bible verses ultimately lead us from a "me" marriage to a "we" marriage.

It was an easy read with relatively short chapters and stories that made you want to keep going, chapter after chapter. I liked how the authors included a mix of personal stories and Scripture. At the end of each chapter, they pose questions that allow the reader to apply the information directly to their own marriage. The authors also wrote prayers that coincides with each chapter for those of us who don't always have the right words. I especially enjoyed part two, which includes 9 chapters that each focus on one of the fruit of the Spirit.

Many of the struggles they shared are things that I have experienced in my own marriage of 15 years. While it wasn't necessarily new information, I had several "aha" moments when I realized that some of my behaviors were truly sinful in nature. They showed me that things that I wrote off as normal behavior (things I say, attitudes I have, etc) actually went against God's design for marriage. It was convicting. I look forward to using this information to help my marriage grow.

I feel like this book may be best for engaged or newly married couples, although I believe anyone can gain insight from their message.

I received a copy of this book from the publisher.

[Jill · Rating 4 out of 5]

Written by Wynter and Jonathan Pitts, "Emptied" is about the intricacies of marriage and what makes a marriage full and satisfying.  Men and women bring certain expectations into marriage, but oftentimes these expectations are all about themselves and what they want.

Wynter and Jonathan were no different. Each came into marriage from a different background--Wynter from a single-parent home and Jonathan from a two-parent family.  Over a fifteen year marriage, they learned how to die to themselves and be a servant-leader in their family.  In "Emptied", they share their story, their struggles, their victories and their marriage.  They offer wisdom and advice to husbands and wives who want marriages that are full, passionate and satisfying.

"Emptied" is one of the best books on marriage that I have read. Their story is entertaining and keeps you interested while simultaneously feeding you biblical principals on marriage.  Each chapter ends with a chance for you to think about what you've discovered and a prayer for you and your marriage.

Sadly, the same day that Jonathan emailed the final manuscript to the publisher, Wynter passed away at the age of 38, but she left behind a great legacy of faith.

Disclosure of Material Connection: I received this book free as part of Lindsey Hartz Creative Author Ambassadors Launch Team.  The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255: “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”

[Beth · Rating 3 out of 5]

"Peace in marriage is not defined by the circumstances you find yourself in. In your marriage, you will find yourself in many different circumstances you'll not prefer and that will feel like too much pressure-from the outside and from within. Many times you'll have to choose peace in your marriage when you think your spouse is causing the chaos. That's when you must realize that peace is also unity in difference. It's finding the way to find rest in your heart, even as the boat is rocking on the waves of life-and the boat will surely rock at times" (p.167).

Wynter and Jonathan Pitts bravely share the intimate details of their marriage, the good the bad and the ugly, in an effort to show that relationships are not about me vs. them, but instead about us vs. everyone else. And in that dynamic, it is a deeper relationship with a higher power, in their case God, that binds the couple together and keeps them moving towards each other instead of away from each other.

The book is broken up into three sections, and in each section, each author gives their perspective on each issue being written about, which provides a neat view of each story. At the end of each chapter within the sections is a reflection for the reader to think about, followed by a prayer. Wonderfully written and worth reading no matter what stage of your relationship you are in.

[Danessa · Rating 5 out of 5]

What would it look like for us to empty ourselves of anything and everything that keeps us from accomplishing the mission of God in our marriages?

If I could summarise the book to one main question, it would be that. I enjoyed every moment reading this book, which is a good start for any marriage. Jonathan and Wynter did us a huge favour in sharing their experience and talked about being a real marriage. One that we can identify with. One that is made up of two sinners, who comes from different backgrounds and carry baggage right through our matrimony door.

This is a good material for anyone who is married or engaged to be married. And regardless of the state of your marriage, it's comforting to know that they get it... and shared their stories with so much honesty. As Wynter puts it, "The stories might be different, but the challenges would be the same." But there is hope. If you look to God for comfort, He promised sweet relief even in your darkest times.

I received an advanced readers' copy as a part of the launch team. However, this review is based on my unbiased and honest opinion.

[Hayley · Rating 5 out of 5]

Another deeply thoughtful book by the Pitts. I have enjoyed others from them about children and parenting and was grateful to have received this last book of Wynter's from the publisher and this is my honest review.

A wonderful two sided book. Not just a husband saying this is what women need to do for men. Or a wife saying this is what women need to do for their man. Instead this is a beautiful collaboration of a couple who went through tough stuff and this is what they can give us. Honest hard truth. I love the lay out of this book as well as it's contents and I think that any married couple can benefit from this book. As a pre-marriage read or years into your marriage. Grab your highlighter. I believe this will be one I keep to go back to; for the advice and information in it's pages will be helpful at different stages of marriage and whether it's in a valley or at a peak there are nuggets of gold to be found for many.

[Robert Martin · Rating 4 out of 5]

A testimonial journey into the beauty of marriage

My wife and I discovered this book while we were dating. Just a note, Wynter died just two months before my own late wife...and my new wife and I discovered the book together, recognizing it as a wonderful resource for a couple seeking God in there upcoming marriage.

I will say that when they got into the fruits of the spirit I felt rather rote and trite. I found greater meaning in their personal testimonies of struggling through marriage and overcoming obstacles. But then, I've been steeped in the teachings of the fruit for a long time and so it wasn't as impactful for me. Others may have a different experience.

Overall, if you are seeking a resource to help you grow deeper in your marriage, I'd strongly recommend this book.

[Cathy Baker · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book would've saved me, as well as my boys, much heartache had I read it many years ago. I knew this would be a powerful read with Wynter Pitts, the late niece of Tony Evans, co-writing it with her husband. I'd read articles by Wynter before her unexpected passing last year, but joining forces with Jonathan would only make it stronger. Throughout the book, both authors share their unique perspective on a variety of subjects like the purpose of marriage, what it means to cultivate Christ in one another and the relationship, and what a power-filled marriage means. It's both a poignant and powerful read for those preparing to marry and especially young married couples. There's something for everyone here.

[Chelsea · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved the conversational writing style, and the switch back and forth between who was writing was always smooth and comfortable. The stories were relevant and interesting. I also felt they used scripture well. The “Your Turn” sections at the end of each chapter are thoughtful and helpful. I am not sure the “prayer” sections at the end of the chapters were necessary, but they weren’t problematic either.
I liked that this book addresses not so much things we can/should do or not do but looks at attitudes, perceptions and expectations and compares them to Biblical teaching. Furthermore, the look at the fruits of the spirit and how they play a role in our marriages was so touching and enlightening. This was a wonderful book for those in any stages of marriage.

[Joelle · Rating 2 out of 5]

Maybe its because the authors didnt use the traditional passages of scripture regarding marriage on which to base their book that i wasnt pleased with the biblical parts of this book... i found some parts to be borderline blasphemous. The practical advice given is fine, maybe even helpful, but why use Jesus Emptied Himself as the reason we need to empty ourselves of self? Where is Set Aside The Old Man; Put On The New Man?
I really glossed over the second half of the book because i was so disappointed with the way scripture was handled in this book. Im glad it has been a help for some (re: mostly positive reviews), but for me there was something really off about the theology or application of scripture

[Melissa Henderson · Rating 5 out of 5]

There is always something to learn about marriage. Relationships have joys and sorrows. How we experience life with each other can truly show our faith and trust in God. In this honest, heartfelt book, the authors share personal stories and lessons learned from each other and from those around them. Knowing that this book was being written before Wynter's passing makes the words even more memorable and valuable. We never know what will happen from day to day but we do have a God who loves us and is there with us in our relationships. Excellent read. I received a complimentary copy of this book. This is my personal honest opinion. No review was required.

[Robin Mangum · Rating 5 out of 5]

It was never meant to be 50/50. Marriage is about each of you giving 100% of yourself. Pouring out your self-centered notions, so that God can help you to better give of yourself to your partner is a wonderful direction and goal. This book is solid in its bible references and its wisdom, while telling a beautiful story of truth and connection. If you want to do it your own way, of course you can... but when you do it God’s way and become a team of three... you come close to perfection. We are all a work in progress. This book is a helpful reminder of our goals. #EmptiedBook http://emptiedbook.com

[Mo'ona KR · Rating 5 out of 5]

Simply-written YET thought-provoking

The writing is easy to follow but more importantly the message is very timely given how marriages are falling apart these days. Good old gospel mixed with their own personal experiences makes for a relatable read. I'll recommend this for every reading demographic out there but most importantly for those who are new in their marital journey and still struggling with laying aside the "ME-driven" selfishness and stubbornness in favor of a more accommodating service mindset that honors their spouse and honors God!
I am glad the Pitts got to work on this last project before Wynter's passing to life! A true emptying indeed!

[Gloryanna Boge · Rating 3 out of 5]

I appreciated the genuineness of this book. Both authors put themselves out there as they share about their marriage. Great foundational truths and reminders about the meaning of marriage. You'll definitely find yourself still thinking about their stories when you resemblances to your own.

I wasn't a big fan of the style of the book. I found myself losing track from time to time, but overall the message is still clear: marriage is not about ourselves. It's about Jesus, what he did for us, and what he's doing in our lives.

[Lori Jorgensen · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wow. Have you wanted a big sister and brother to come along side you and say this is where we failed don’t go there. This where we rocked go there. To tell you like it is and your being too selfish to your spouse so grow up. Well then you’ve found your source right here in this amazing book the Johnathan and Wynter wrote together during her last days here on earth. These two are a great couple that really opened their doors to you to walk in and see how they lived their lives together in the middle of the mess. Amazing book on how to become one in marriage.

[Ashlie Hogan · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is meant as an encouragement to those in a married relationship. Marriage isn’t easy and it goes through phases, some of which are more difficult than others. I found this book to be incredibly positive and encouraging and very honest. You didn’t feel like the authors knew everything or felt like their relationship was perfect, you felt like they were learning alongside and along the way and wanted to share what had helped them along the way!

I was given an early copy to read and share my thoughts!

[Deborah Flora · Rating 5 out of 5]

Jonathan and Wynter Pitts share their story and show how marriage is an emptying of your self-focused motivations and God pouring in to your life as you learn to serve and love each other.

This book is a great read and encouragement for married couples and anyone wanting to deepen their commitment and ever learn and grow in marriage. I truly enjoyed hearing their story.

I received a copy to review and all opinions are 100% my own.

[Nicole · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was not a groundbreaking book about marriage or a book that offers step by step marital advice, but it was gentle reminder to me personally to basically work on myself rather than pick apart my spouse, and about being emptied of my human inclinations so that I could be filled by the Holy Spirit to exercise the fruits of the spirit. This is exactly the book I needed to read and my marriage is better because of it. I highly recommend this book.

[Julia · Rating 3 out of 5]

I enjoyed this book on marriage from Jonathan and the late Wynter Pitts. Reading this book knowing that the wife had passed away suddenly was a bit of a weird feeling - but the way they talked about marriage was beautiful and challenging. It is definitely a book from a spiritual perspective - the practical or relational pieces aren't overly strong. However the spiritual pieces - especially on the fruit of the Spirit in marriage - were convicting, challenging and well written. Good read!

[Otis · Rating 4 out of 5]

4.5 stars. I stumbled upon a devotional about your Wynter’s Season (it’s awesome). To which it lead me to want to read the book (wow, a must read). And while I was being blessed while ingesting every nugget, I read about the last book you coauthor with Wynter entitled: Emptied. What an amazing resource and tribute to investing into helping create strong vibrant marriages. It truly an incredible book. I pray it blesses all whose willing to take this journey call marriage.

[Lynne Hartke · Rating 4 out of 5]

I love the thought that marriage is a marathon, not a sprint. As a former cross-country runner, I understand the sentiment. There are days I wish it were a 100 meter dash and done! Putting in the training to run a race (a marriage) to completion is challenging, but worth it.

An honest book about the challenges (but not the impossibilities) of marriage.

[Faith · Rating 5 out of 5]

Having been married for 40 years, I know that marriage is hard and it has ups and downs. This book is one to read whether you are a newlywed or married for decades. They have such insight and they were honest and vulnerable.

I received a copy of the book from the publisher. This is my honest review of the book.