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You Who? Why You Matter and How to Deal With It

4.54  ·  Rating details ·  1,497 ratings  ·  327 reviews
If "Who am I?" is the question you're asking, Rachel Jankovic doesn't want you to "find yourself" or "follow your heart." Those lies are nothing to the confidence, freedom, and clarity of course that come with knowing what is actually essential about you. And the answer to that question is at once less and more than what you are hoping for.

Christians love the idea that sel
Paperback, 246 pages
Published January 15th 2019 by Canon Press
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BookishBrunette No explicit language in this work! She is a Christian, so she holds to the Christian morals of keeping the wholesome language and no swearing. :)
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Average rating 4.54  · 
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 ·  1,497 ratings  ·  327 reviews

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Jan 03, 2019 rated it it was amazing
Shelves: read-2019
If only the “Girl, Wash your Face” crowd would read this.
Summer Jaeger
Jan 21, 2019 rated it it was amazing
Are you a person? Do you breathe? If you answered yes to either of these questions, you should read this book as quickly as you can get your hands on it. Reading this book was like being given a cup of cold water on a hot day. It was like slicing into grandma's apple pie after you watched her labor over it all day. It was a slash through the hot garbage most women's books about identity are. If you like to breathe, drink water, and be less of a confused Christian, this book is a must-read for yo ...more
Aug 20, 2019 rated it it was ok  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: read-in-2019
I've started reviewing every book I read, so this'll be no different--even though this'll be an unpopular opinion amongst many people I love dearly. I enjoyed the first several chapters--they are educational and well-written, and draw some interesting parallels. But then there's the odd bunch of logical fallacies/inconsistencies, blanket statements, and even a promotion of works-based theology and asceticism--not good things. Rachel says she'll do no such thing as "go easy" on her readers and sp ...more
Douglas Wilson
Jun 11, 2019 rated it it was amazing
Shelves: culture-studies
Simply outstanding.
Kerry Baldwin
Jun 08, 2019 rated it did not like it
I was asked to review this book because of my work in philosophy and reformed theology. For my complete review visit:

You Who? Why Rachel Jankovic is Wrong on Identity

Here's a brief synopsis:

First, Jankovic makes a superficial attempt to tear apart existentialist philosophy. She charges it (and particularly John Paul Sartre and his wife Simone de Beauvoir) with being the heart of self improvement. Why someone with no apparent training in philosophy would even attempt this task in a popular writi
Dec 10, 2020 rated it did not like it
This review is long over due. I've been reading(and re-reading) this book to clearly understand the author. I've taken great pains to read this book so closely that I can pinpoint exactly what is wrong with it. (And I will probably read it many more times, to be honest.) Like anything. there is good in this book. There is also good in the work of President Nelson of the Mormon Church. That does not mean you should engage with the work, or read it for sanctifying purposes. That would be a dangero ...more
Shaina Herrmann
Dec 19, 2018 rated it it was amazing
10 Stars! :-)

I listen to Rachel and Bekah's podcast, What Have You, every week. Their weekly ramblings have been an enormous blessing to me and my family, so when I opened this book I had pretty high expectations. She met and exceeded those expectations within the first couple of chapters. She is extraordinarily good at attacking the philosophy of the self and even better at reorientating you to see your true self, the one that can only found in total submission to Christ.

The philosophy of the
Megan Miller
Mar 01, 2019 rated it liked it
I am... vaguely disappointed? And I don't know exactly why, or how to explain it without sounding like I disagree with her. There's nothing here I really disagree with, I just think she missed a ton of opportunities to, 1) quote Scripture, and 2) point to Christ. (Which is ironic considering her purpose.)
She points a lot at us and what we're doing, and I think in some ways it's dangerous to do so without qualifying that we can't do any of these things (serve God, humble ourselves, be faithful, h
Alyssa Yoder
Jan 22, 2019 rated it really liked it
This book is a powerful punch. Beautifully, simply written. Rachel has a gift for getting straight to the point. She makes the truth winsome.

Now, my disagreements, listed here since I do plan on recommending this and want to have my caveats out in the open.
First, I do think personality tests are a useful tool. Yes, we obey God to become our fullest selves. But in speaking about spiritual gifts, the Bible is clear that how we obey will look different depending on how God has gifted us. Some peopl
Aaron Ventura
Dec 12, 2018 rated it it was amazing
A no nonsense demolition of existential philosophy and the effects it has had on women trying to find life apart from Christ. This book is all about the gospel and the glorious life God gives to those who will obey Him. Highly recommend for all women, especially those searching for something stable amidst the endless games of comparison.

"No matter how many times you tell yourself you are fierce or looking hot, nothing will come of it. There is no salvation, no freedom here."

"Being a daughter of
Rachel Schultz
Jan 28, 2019 rated it it was amazing
Adored, would read again immediately
Jan 03, 2019 rated it it was amazing
This was an excellent book. It's hard to find "Christian Living" type books that combine solid theology with practical application, but Rachel Jankovic has done it again. I couldn't put this down. It was convicting and encouraging to me personally, and when I finished I was ready to buy a copy for every woman I know. Not a day goes by that I don't see lies related to identity under the guise of wellness, self-care, body image, etc. on social media and elsewhere. Rachel does a superb job of givin ...more
Every now and then, you read a book that makes you wish you hadn't given other books 5 stars, because the book is so well-written, so intellectually stimulating, and so abundantly transforming and life-giving that it almost feels cheap to give it a rating that other books have also received.

I already wanted to read You Who? based on the premise, but what recommended it to me more than that was the effect I saw in a friend who read it before me. She flew through it in a few days, and, knowing th
Hannah Brown
Jan 06, 2019 rated it it was amazing
Read again in June 2019. Took me a second read-through to really understand everything and get it sorted out in my mind. Still a wonderful book!

100 times better than I expected, and loving Rachel Jankovic as I do, I had high expectations. She does an amazing job of putting into words what I have been subconsciously taught and learned all of my life, but only as now beginning to realize. Every woman should read this book. And every man, for that matter.
Becky Pliego
2021: Read again in 2021. Excellent! Easy to read but not superficial -not at all!

2019:This is a book written by woman who loves the Lord and His Word but also hates the lies the Devil tells. This is also a book written by a woman who loves logic and right thinking, and that with a particular wit and well thought arguments, exposes the lies the Devil is telling Christians about themselves.

It is definitely a must read all Christian women.
Valerie Kyriosity
Faithful are the wounds of a friend. Even when she uses a machine gun. Now if you'll excuse me, I'll just be over here bleeding. Sorry for the stain on the carpet. 😂

The author narrates the audiobook, and good thing, because I think anybody else would have botched it. I wanted to listen at normal speed so as to digest slowly, but Rachel never talks that slow, and she sounded too sluggish. I recommend 1.2× normal speed.
Thank you, thank you, thank you, Rachel Jankovic for writing this book! I recently read Girl, Wash Your Face only because my library had 17 (SEVENTEEN!) copies of it. I know this isn't a popular opinion, but that book is complete and utter ra-ra nonsense. And it wore me out. Why did it wear me out? Because it was basically nothing other than a rich, popular Christian woman telling other Christian women that self-sufficiency and self-glorification will lead to their best lives now. You can read m ...more
Feb 16, 2020 rated it really liked it
I liked this well enough. We're supposed to die to self and live to Christ and Jankovic discusses how the world tries to invert that and lead us away from following the Lord.

It didn't seem all that surprising to me in general: as believers we are to find our identity in Christ; the Lord conforms us more and more to his image and we are to follow his example as disciples. "A disciple, when he is fully trained, will be like his master."

I appreciated, perhaps the best, the beginning parts where she
Dec 07, 2018 rated it it was amazing
This book is delightfully and honestly blunt. It is one of those books which manages to be both encouraging and convicting at the same time, and the fact that it is dedicated to my mom makes me even happier.
G.M. Burrow
Feb 12, 2019 rated it it was amazing
Truth, goodness, and beauty are crazy alive in this book. Simply magnificent. I had no idea how much I (fairly confident, decent sense of who I am) needed counseling about Christian identity until I read about two pages and felt like I had plunged my head beneath a cold waterfall after trudging across the Sahara. What glory. Every woman (and man) needs this book. Who are you? To Whom do you belong? Who's got you? What are you supposed to do? How should you obey? How deeply can you trust this Per ...more
Steve Hemmeke
May 28, 2019 rated it really liked it
I’ve made a habit of checking the New York Times best seller list regularly now for the last 3-4 months. One author has consistently had two titles in the top 10 the entire time: Rachel Hollis. “Girl, Wash Your Face!” “Girl, Stop Apologizing!” I admit I haven’t read Hollis. I trust the Gospel Coalition’s critical review of her, though, and it gave me pause.

Now, after reading You Who, by Rachel Jankovic, I connected the dots. Jankovic attacks head on the ca
Miranda Jordan
Jul 03, 2019 rated it really liked it
Shelves: 2019-read
I listened to the audiobook. It was a very easy listen.
This book is great and convicting. Very similar to her sister’s “Eve in Exile” in that it starts off fairly philosophical and goes into the “restoration” of these views.
She relays self actualization and existentialism in a very simple way that is easy to understand, and from a Biblical and gospel centered stand point, fights against those views.
I love her high view and grasp of obedience and showing how obedience CAN be simple and possible,
Rick Davis
Sep 30, 2019 rated it it was amazing
Do you remember those deodorant commercials that proclaimed that their product was strong enough for a man but made for a woman? That's kind of what this book is like. It was clearly written with Christian women in mind, but the message of the book, and the lessons in it are vitally necessary for everyone in our individualistic world, men and women alike. A timely and excellent book that responds to many of the lies believed by our culture today. Highly recommended. ...more
Jen Vanderwey
Apr 10, 2019 rated it it was amazing
I came to this book saying, “I know all this stuff! She is preaching to the choir with me.” Nope! There were some areas that were exposing and convicting, and left me feeling sad that I too have tampered with ridiculous enlightenment lies. Ugh! Good job, Rachel. Even the Reformed ladies need this word.
Feb 27, 2019 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: christianity
Goodreads will not allow me to rate this book as highly as I want to. Ten stars? No, maybe that's too few. If you think I am over-exaggerating the worth of this book, I will counter that over-exaggeration is impossible. Why? Because this book is about showing you how to fall in love with the GOOD NEWS of JESUS and the GLORY of GOD.

This book literally changed my entire life's paradigm. I picked it up because I liked how smart Rachel sounded on a YouTube video. I like analyzing theology and philo
Nov 17, 2019 rated it liked it
This book is a hard one to rate and review--2.5 stars might be more appropriate. Some chapters of this book contained gems that I would just love to pass onto friends, but this is not a book I can freely recommend. I loved Rachel’s book on motherhood, Loving the Little Years, and similarly, You Who brings up important issues for women in the church—ungodly philosophies, body image, the pampered princess mentality among Christian women, and our “treat yourself” culture, just to name a few. Rachel ...more
Jun 19, 2019 rated it liked it
Almost four stars. The first half was excellent; highly recommended. She is very concerned about modernity’s obsession with emotions (rightly so), and when she’s not addressing this directly, I think she uses a very “Psalm-centered” approach. However, in her chapter on it (20), she encourages the reader, “This is the amazing reality of following Christ: when we ignore our feelings, they follow.” This seems a little dangerous, if not unbiblical. Ignoring versus bringing feelings into the bright l ...more
Hope Wiseman
Nov 20, 2020 rated it it was ok
There's much in the book I appreciate. There are a few issues that make me pause and I still need to explore and understand. More things to study: Federal vision in relation to obedience, and sub category of emotions & asceticism. (See Theology Gals podcast for further critique notes)

"I'm so thankful for the active obedience of Christ. No hope without it." John Gresham Machen
May 15, 2019 rated it liked it
Parts of this book, while speaking good truth, did not come across with any grace or understanding. She spoke of Ephesians 2:4-10 but there were many chapters I did not feel that in her writing.
Apr 24, 2019 rated it it was amazing
Shelves: read-in-2019
Five stars on this one!

I've only heard good things about this book, so I was excited to pick it up. I started the audiobook on a plane trip, and got 3/4 of the way through the book in one sitting. Wow, it was SO GOOD! This book is badly needed in Christian circles today, and was very timely for me personally. We are so busy trying to "find ourselves" that we have badly lost our way, and Jankovic points us back to our true purpose as Christian women through this book.

Jankovic starts by giving u
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Rachel Jankovic is a wife, homemaker, and mother. She graduated from New Saint Andrews College, but mostly reads cookbooks now to avoid story grip (being highly susceptible). She and her husband Luke have seven children who know how to party: Evangeline (13), Daphne (12), Chloe (10), Titus (10), and Blaire (8) and Shadrach (5), and Moses (2).

Rachel is the daughter of Douglas Wilson and Nancy Wilso

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15 likes · 1 comments
“Jesus Christ came to this earth, struggled, suffered, and died so that you might die. Let that sink in. It was not His death that gave you life—His death gave you death in Him. But what happened after His death? His victory over death. The resurrection. Jesus Christ died so that you might die, and He lives so that you might live. Your life in Christ is what happens after your death in Him. There will be no resolution to these struggles in your life if you do not willingly give your self-fashioned identity to Christ that it might die. It will die anyway, so let it be in Him. And when you live, it will be in Him, too. Friends, there is no hope for you that is not Jesus. There is nothing interesting about you if it is not resurrected in Him. There is nothing defining about you that cannot live in Christ. Your selfishness is dead. Your lust is dead. Your need to be unique is dead. Your envy, greed, obsessions, guilts—they are all dead. Dead and gone in Christ. Stop trying to tidy them up and make them mean something, because they never will. Total submission to Christ is total life in Christ. This is because without dying in Him you cannot live in Him. When you submit your life to Him fully, you can live in Him, fully. There is no going halfsies with death for Christians. You can’t try to keep living the life that should have died in Christ. You can’t arrange all your little ideas about yourself in some compatible way with your idea of Christ. Let Him have it all—what remains after that death is only life. You are no longer the author of your own identities, but rather you live in the Author and He lives in you.” 1 likes
“The command to be constantly glorifying our God is essentially a command to be living in constant joy, with constant clarity of purpose and constant pleasures forevermore.” 1 likes
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