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You Who? Why You Matter and How to Deal With It

4.71  ·  Rating details ·  434 ratings  ·  130 reviews
If "Who am I?" is the question you're asking, Rachel Jankovic doesn't want you to "find yourself" or "follow your heart." Those lies are nothing to the confidence, freedom, and clarity of course that come with knowing what is actually essential about you. And the answer to that question is at once less and more than what you are hoping for.

Christians love the idea that sel
Published January 15th 2019 by Canon Press
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4.71  · 
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 ·  434 ratings  ·  130 reviews

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Jan 03, 2019 rated it it was amazing
Shelves: read-2019
If only the “Girl, Wash your Face” crowd would read this.
Summer Jaeger
Jan 21, 2019 rated it it was amazing
Are you a person? Do you breathe? If you answered yes to either of these questions, you should read this book as quickly as you can get your hands on it. Reading this book was like being given a cup of cold water on a hot day. It was like slicing into grandma's apple pie after you watched her labor over it all day. It was a slash through the hot garbage most women's books about identity are. If you like to breathe, drink water, and be less of a confused Christian, this book is a must-read for yo ...more
Shaina Herrmann
Dec 19, 2018 rated it it was amazing
10 Stars! :-)

I listen to Rachel and Bekah's podcast, What Have You, every week. Their weekly ramblings have been an enormous blessing to me and my family, so when I opened this book I had pretty high expectations. She met and exceeded those expectations within the first couple of chapters. She is extraordinarily good at attacking the philosophy of the self and even better at reorientating you to see your true self, the one that can only found in total submission to Christ.

The philosophy of the
Alyssa Yoder
Jan 22, 2019 rated it really liked it
This book is a powerful punch. Beautifully, simply written. Rachel has a gift for getting straight to the point. She makes the truth winsome.

Now, my disagreements, listed here since I do plan on recommending this and want to have my caveats out in the open.
First, I do think personality tests are a useful tool. Yes, we obey God to become our fullest selves. But in speaking about spiritual gifts, the Bible is clear that how we obey will look different depending on how God has gifted us. Some peopl
Aaron Ventura
Dec 12, 2018 rated it it was amazing
A no nonsense demolition of existential philosophy and the effects it has had on women trying to find life apart from Christ. This book is all about the gospel and the glorious life God gives to those who will obey Him. Highly recommend for all women, especially those searching for something stable amidst the endless games of comparison.

"No matter how many times you tell yourself you are fierce or looking hot, nothing will come of it. There is no salvation, no freedom here."

"Being a daughter of
Megan Lane
Mar 01, 2019 rated it liked it
I am... vaguely disappointed? And I don't know exactly why, or how to explain it without sounding like I disagree with her. There's nothing here I really disagree with, I just think she missed a ton of opportunities to, 1) quote Scripture, and 2) point to Christ. (Which is ironic considering her purpose.)
She points a lot at us and what we're doing, and I think in some ways it's dangerous to do so without qualifying that we can't do any of these things (serve God, humble ourselves, be faithful, h
Rachel Schultz
Jan 28, 2019 rated it it was amazing
Adored, would read again immediately
May 05, 2019 rated it it was amazing
Every now and then, you read a book that makes you wish you hadn't given other books 5 stars, because the book is so well-written, so intellectually stimulating, and so abundantly transforming and life-giving that it almost feels cheap to give it a rating that other books have also received.

I already wanted to read You Who? based on the premise, but what recommended it to me more than that was the effect I saw in a friend who read it before me. She flew through it in a few days, and, knowing th
Hannah Brown
Jan 06, 2019 rated it it was amazing
Read again in June 2019. Took me a second read-through to really understand everything and get it sorted out in my mind. Still a wonderful book!

100 times better than I expected, and loving Rachel Jankovic as I do, I had high expectations. She does an amazing job of putting into words what I have been subconsciously taught and learned all of my life, but only as now beginning to realize. Every woman should read this book. And every man, for that matter.
Becky Pliego
This is a book written by woman who loves the Lord and His Word but also hates the lies the Devil tells. This is also a book written by a woman who loves logic and right thinking, and that with a particular wit and well thought arguments, exposes the lies the Devil is telling Christians about themselves.

It is definitely a must read for both, men and women.
Jan 03, 2019 rated it it was amazing
This was an excellent book. It's hard to find "Christian Living" type books that combine solid theology with practical application, but Rachel Jankovic has done it again. I couldn't put this down. It was convicting and encouraging to me personally, and when I finished I was ready to buy a copy for every woman I know. Not a day goes by that I don't see lies related to identity under the guise of wellness, self-care, body image, etc. on social media and elsewhere. Rachel does a superb job of givin ...more
Dec 07, 2018 rated it it was amazing
This book is delightfully and honestly blunt. It is one of those books which manages to be both encouraging and convicting at the same time, and the fact that it is dedicated to my mom makes me even happier.
Jan 20, 2019 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: christian-living
Thank you, thank you, thank you, Rachel Jankovic for writing this book! I recently read Girl, Wash Your Face only because my library had 17 (SEVENTEEN!) copies of it. I know this isn't a popular opinion, but that book is complete and utter ra-ra nonsense. And it wore me out. Why did it wear me out? Because it was basically nothing other than a rich, popular Christian woman telling other Christian women that self-sufficiency and self-glorification will lead to their best lives now. You can read m ...more
Valerie Kyriosity
Faithful are the wounds of a friend. Even when she uses a machine gun. Now if you'll excuse me, I'll just be over here bleeding. Sorry for the stain on the carpet. 😂

The author narrates the audiobook, and good thing, because I think anybody else would have botched it. I wanted to listen at normal speed so as to digest slowly, but Rachel never talks that slow, and she sounded too sluggish. I recommend 1.2× normal speed.
Jen Vanderwey
Apr 10, 2019 rated it it was amazing
I came to this book saying, “I know all this stuff! She is preaching to the choir with me.” Nope! There were some areas that were exposing and convicting, and left me feeling sad that I too have tampered with ridiculous enlightenment lies. Ugh! Good job, Rachel. Even the Reformed ladies need this word.
Feb 27, 2019 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: christianity
Goodreads will not allow me to rate this book as highly as I want to. Ten stars? No, maybe that's too few. If you think I am over-exaggerating the worth of this book, I will counter that over-exaggeration is impossible. Why? Because this book is about showing you how to fall in love with the GOOD NEWS of JESUS and the GLORY of GOD.

This book literally changed my entire life's paradigm. I picked it up because I liked how smart Rachel sounded on a YouTube video. I like analyzing theology and philo
Apr 24, 2019 rated it it was amazing
Shelves: read-in-2019
Five stars on this one!

I've only heard good things about this book, so I was excited to pick it up. I started the audiobook on a plane trip, and got 3/4 of the way through the book in one sitting. Wow, it was SO GOOD! This book is badly needed in Christian circles today, and was very timely for me personally. We are so busy trying to "find ourselves" that we have badly lost our way, and Jankovic points us back to our true purpose as Christian women through this book.

Jankovic starts by giving u
Steve Hemmeke
May 28, 2019 rated it really liked it
I’ve made a habit of checking the New York Times best seller list regularly now for the last 3-4 months. One author has consistently had two titles in the top 10 the entire time: Rachel Hollis. “Girl, Wash Your Face!” “Girl, Stop Apologizing!” I admit I haven’t read Hollis. I trust the Gospel Coalition’s critical review of her, though, and it gave me pause.

Now, after reading You Who, by Rachel Jankovic, I connected the dots. Jankovic attacks head on the ca
Hannah Jayne
May 30, 2019 rated it really liked it
“If you run into thirty people in one day who mention that they like your purple pants, you might start to think you are wrong in thinking your pants are black.”

I thought about this quote for like a week straight because it makes me laugh.

The follow up for context is also good though:

“The world repeats their misguided beliefs so often that we all start to assume that there really must be something to them.”

I liked this book a lot. Nothing personally world changing. Nothing worded so absolutely
Stefan Hull
Mar 05, 2019 rated it it was amazing
I found myself incredibly thankful for the clarity of this book on more than one occasion. Well worth the read. I may actually start it right over again.
G.M. Burrow
Feb 12, 2019 rated it it was amazing
Truth, goodness, and beauty are crazy alive in this book. Simply magnificent. I had no idea how much I (fairly confident, decent sense of who I am) needed counseling about Christian identity until I read about two pages and felt like I had plunged my head beneath a cold waterfall after trudging across the Sahara. What glory. Every woman (and man) needs this book. Who are you? To Whom do you belong? Who's got you? What are you supposed to do? How should you obey? How deeply can you trust this Per ...more
Havebooks Willread
There was much good material in this book, and I would recommend it for teens, young adults, middle-aged people. . .really anyone who might be struggling a little bit with the big questions of "who am I?", "why am I here/what is my purpose/what am I doing with my life?", etc.

Jankovic pulls no punches, but boldly tells it like it is. I appreciated her grandfather's quote "soft teaching makes hard hearts and hard teaching makes soft hearts"(2) and have seen its truth. This book is not soft teachi
Apr 04, 2019 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: 2019
This is an outstanding book that skillfully undermines the narrative of "the self" that our culture has sought so hard to establish and become normative.

Jankovic writes, "The philosophy of the self is basically wrestling with the problem that, without a God, we might simply be animals, but we really don’t feel like animals. Many philosophers believe that our lives are fundamentally meaningless (because there is no God, we are the result of an accident, etc.), and yet they still have an enormous
Feb 08, 2019 rated it really liked it
Shelves: 2019
"You cannot, as a character, outwrite the Author of you. "

"In Christianity, the self is always a tool and never a destination."

"When we tell each other over and over that whatever we do is precious and wonderful and glorious because God loves us, we demonstrate how little we understand ourselves and our Creator."

I really enjoyed this. The basic premise to me was evaluating the way that culture, philosophy, current event, etc effects our thinking and turns it away from how the Lord would have us
Brady Riley
Jan 15, 2019 rated it it was amazing
There are so many great things about this book! Chapters are short which allowed me to pick it up and set down throughout the day (and week)! Rachel spends a necessary amount of time laying a great foundation for the readers to really understand how we have gotten to the place of questioning identity and shaping (then reshaping) identities based upon everything else except God (the constant). She goes on from there with chapter after chapter full of ways to to examine what scripture says about w ...more
Daniel and Rebekah Eikum
Mar 27, 2019 rated it it was amazing
Truth bombs abound. Snarky metaphors around every bend. Truth and grace and peace flowing out of our identity in Christ explained. I LOVE THIS BOOK. So glad I bought my own copy so I can underline, dog-ear, and have within grabbing distance.

Most memorable chapters:
Ch 12 about faithfulness being like holding onto the handles of a huge gardening machine. Not in control of where you’re going but huge results behind your shoulder

Ch 20 about our feelings being monkeys we are responsible to train and
Feb 23, 2019 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
I hope this book catches on and makes its way into the hands of a LOT of Christian women because it presents a message that we really need to hear: your life isn’t about you; “knowing yourself,” as the world defines the phrase, isn’t going to make you happy; your feelings need to be managed instead of being treated with reverence. At every point, the author points us to Christ, to the fact that we are His, that we are to live for His glory and not our own.

One of many convicting ideas: As Christi
Kayla Whittinghill
Feb 22, 2019 rated it it was amazing
This book is wise, helpful, practical, and witty. Leave it to Rachel to make you laugh out loud while you’re being convicted. This is a biblical and sound answer to the questions our world and the church is asking.
It felt like drinking a refreshing cup of cold water because that’s what truth is- refreshing. It cuts you open, shows you your sin, but leaves you better and wiser because of it.
I almost gave it 4 stars because I felt like it could have used another round of editing just to clean up
Jan 25, 2019 rated it really liked it
Begins with a look at the major philosophical players who have given us our current definition of "self" -- Descartes, Sartre, and Maslow. The rest of the book is disjointed in comparison. I might have been reading too quickly, but there didn't seem to be a natural or necessary flow from one short chapter to the next. This didn't have the same impact on me as her motherhood books have. There's a bit more choir-preaching and straw-man-demolishing. However, my eyes have been opened to just how tho ...more
Elizabeth Prata
Dec 28, 2018 rated it it was amazing
full review here

In asking the question 'Who am I?' we are really asking the question 'Who is my God?' Knowing, understanding, and living the answer to that question correctly gives the Christian woman relief and joy. Jankovic expertly outlines how to achieve that relief, and it's not in what we do, but knowing who we are.

Rachel spends a good deal of the book focusing on giving God glory. What glory is and how to express it. And that expression is never mor
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Rachel Jankovic is a wife, homemaker, and mother. She graduated from New Saint Andrews College, but mostly reads cookbooks now to avoid story grip (being highly susceptible). She and her husband Luke have seven children who know how to party: Evangeline (13), Daphne (12), Chloe (10), Titus (10), and Blaire (8) and Shadrach (5), and Moses (2).

Rachel is the daughter of Douglas Wilson and Nancy Wilso
“Jesus Christ came to this earth, struggled, suffered, and died so that you might die. Let that sink in. It was not His death that gave you life—His death gave you death in Him. But what happened after His death? His victory over death. The resurrection. Jesus Christ died so that you might die, and He lives so that you might live. Your life in Christ is what happens after your death in Him.” 0 likes
“When all my life is oriented around glorifying God, I see the value and glory and joy in the little. I see the Creator of all things in the details of my life. His presence there makes nothing little.” 0 likes
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