Happy Old Me: How to Live A Long Life, and Really Enjoy It

by Hunter Davies

'As long as I’m alive, I’ll be with her, and she’ll be with me.' Hunter Davies on Margaret Forster.Happy Old Me is a moving yet uplifting account of one year in Hunter Davies’ life, navigating bereavement and finding hope in the future.   On 8th February 2016, Margaret Forster lost her life to cancer of the spine. The days that followed for her husband, Hunter Davies, were carried out on arrangements to be made, family and friends to be contacted. But how do you cope after you have lost your loved one? How do you carry on? As Hunter navigates what it means to be alone again after 55 years of marriage, coping with bereavement and being elderly (he still doesn’t believe he is), he shares his wisdom and lessons he has learnt living alone again. Revealing his emotional journey over the course of one year, as well as the often ignored practical implications of becoming widowed, he learns that, ultimately, bricks and mortar may change but the memories will remain. Part memoir, part self-help, Happy Old Me is a fitting, heart-felt tribute to the love of his life and a surprisingly amusing and informative book about an age, and stage in life, which we might all reach someday. The third book in Hunter Davies' much-loved memoir series, which includes The Co-Op's Got Bananas and A Life in the Day. Praise for Hunter   ‘He recalls his childhood growing up in Scotland and Cumbria in the Forties and Fifties, capturing gritty working-class life with humour and charm and painting a vivid picture of that period of social history’ Press Association ‘What sets this book apart, though, is its avoidance of cliché and its determination to reveal everything that might be revealed.’ Daily Mail ‘Eighty-year-old Davies takes a delightfully irreverent approach to his account of his youth and his days as a rookie journalist. Food was rationed, clothes were utilitarian and life could be rough, but there was fun to be had from friendships, films, skiffle and girls’ Sunday Express ‘Davies is a wonderful companion, leading readers down memory lane with great chumminess that will really resonate with those of a certain age. This book deserves a place on the shelf beside Alan Johnson’s This Boy.’ Express 'Ken Loach might have turned all this into a powerful social film, but the avuncular Davies sprinkles in so many cheery anecdotes that the book bounces along enjoyably' Sunday Times

Genres: Biography

294 pages, Kindle Edition

Published March 21, 2019

About the author

Edward Hunter Davies OBE is an author, journalist and broadcaster, and a former editor for the Sunday Times of London. He is the author of numerous books, including The Glory Game and the only authorised biography of the Beatles. He was born in Johnstone, Renfrewshire, to Scottish parents. For four years his family lived in Dumfries until Davies was aged 11.

His family moved to Carlisle in northern England when Davies was 11 and he attended the Creighton School in the city. Davies lived in Carlisle until he moved to study at university. During this time his father, who was a former Royal Air Force pay clerk, developed multiple sclerosis and had to retire on medical grounds from a civil service career.

Davies joined the sixth form at Carlisle Grammar School and was awarded a place at University College, Durham to read for an honours degree in History, but after his first year he switched to a general arts course. He gained his first writing experience as a student, contributing to the university newspaper, Palatinate, where one of his fellow student journalists was the future fashion writer Colin McDowell. After completing his degree course he stayed on at Durham for another year to gain a teaching diploma and avoid National Service.

He lives in London.

Reviews

[Hilary · Rating 3 out of 5]

A touching and uplifting story about losing a loved one and old age. This book by Hunter Davies is a chatty account of the year following the death of his wife and his musings on old age. Despite the sad subject matter this is an upbeat and funny book with some enjoyable facts and quotes.

[PaddyTaylor · Rating 5 out of 5]

I hope Hunter achieves his dream to reach 90!

[Karen Ross · Rating 4 out of 5]

I have a couple of things in common with the author (age NOT being one of them): we both support Tottenham Hotspur and do our monthly shop in Morrisons! Essentially a love letter to his late wife along with revealing insights into his life and personality. What did I learn? Life's too short to be continually think about the price of everything . . .

[Sarah · Rating 3 out of 5]

I read this for a reading group I run, and pulled out an extract about driving in older age.
He was married to a brilliant writer - Margaret Forster. I don’t know how she put up with him, how she tolerated him, how she managed.
I shall ask my dad if he wants to read this.

[John Poulton · Rating 4 out of 5]

The reason Hunter gives for writing this book is to advise those of us heading into old age. I'm 65 this year so (hopefully) heading there. This book is a memoir of his life between the ages of 80 and 82. He does warn us that this account will be personal, and it is very personal. The question remains, will it be informative?

The ‘Wisdoms’ sections are too often the kind of wisdom you find in a Christmas cracker. There are some funny ones to be fair, such as signs of growing old; driving in the slow lane and avoiding reversing if you can. Guilty!

The chapter on ‘Legal Positions’ isn't wrong, but it's stuck halfway between being an account of post death legal issues and an online help page. The latter would be far more useful, I think. Yet, that stated, I have put in my diary to check my will this week and a couple of other personal notes should I pop my clogs unexpectedly.

My initial impression of the book is that there is a lot of repetition and trivial material which I think an editor might have cut. On the other hand, as I got more into the book, I warmed more to his style. It became like chatting to grandad, or even my Dad. He’s 93, and he repeats himself a lot, but it’s part of his charm. The tone is often curmudgeonly, which is both a vice and privilege of the elderly, perhaps.

‘Happy Old Me’ seems like an ironic title, yet it isn’t and Davies insists he is happy, even if it doesn’t always seem so in this book. At times it is like reading the transcript of an internal monologue. At other times, it’s like a chat in his back garden, and the reader may feel as if they are sitting by his side.

There is a moving story being told here. His deceased wife is ever present in the narrative. Perhaps because of Davies’ Stoicism, this never takes centre stage. She is always standing in the wings. It is as if, despite her physical absence, she is spiritually present. For me, ideas of loss and legacy for our loved ones is a theme of the book.

‘Happy Old Me’ gave me much food for thought. I found its repetitive style occasionally maddening, but it’s a rewarding read if you stick with it. I have not come across Hunter Davies before this book. Perhaps those who have followed his journalistic career will be familiar with his style and authorial voice. It’s definitely one for his fan club!

[Jonty · Rating 2 out of 5]

Oh dear, oh dear. I wanted to read this as I am aware that the author is a prolific journalist. I only made it just past the 50% point. Reading this is very hard work and provides very few and very rare moments of wit or wisdom. It comes across as a rambling monologue by an elderly resident who believes (wrongly) that he's a bit of a card. An awful lot of 'did I tell you about the time when..?' Yes, grandpa, you did. If this was your grandfather you'd indulge him and think 'well he won't be around forever so I'll listen to this story one more time.' But he isn't. And I don't. I think oh STFU unless you've got something interesting or entertaining to say. There are a lot of dull lists of cars he used to drive and the cost of things in the 1960s. Yawn. And then there are the smug reflections on how much his various houses are worth and how little he paid for them. 'Did I tell you I had a house in the Lake District?' Yes you did! About twenty times. Did I mention that I hate driving? That my wife wrote her books long hand? Yes, yes, YES!

This book should have been better edited. It would be much shorter and better. I'm amazed I got to 50%.

I'm sure Hunter Davies is a lovely man but unless he is your grandfather I don't recommend this book.

[Judy · Rating 3 out of 5]

An enjoyable, light read. The story of one mans life and his take in the world from his place of success after a lifetime of working in a field he thoroughly enjoyed at a time when newspapers and publishing were king.
Sometimes I got annoyed as he recounted the flow of life with all the privilege that came from being a white man of his generation where he was cooked for and most of his needs smoothly cared for enabling him to move through life without really seeing other folks view on a situation. A man of his times. My dad was just like that (although nearly a decade older) so I guess that explains why my buttons were pushed so easily.
But this Hunter is a likeable man, who views life as there to be lived. It was interesting and easy to read. Had a few thought provoking truisms. I hope he lives to 94 as he now wishes.

[B W Graham · Rating 5 out of 5]

I really enjoyed your book Hunter. I am 78 years old and was born in Carlisle. I worked on the Carlisle Journal and I was informed, before my time, you were also an employee. Much of what you wrote brought back memories in so many ways. It was like reliving my past. Once I had started I could not put the book down. In particular, I found it interesting how your mother, like mine, did the washing in the outhouse. When I came home, from school, on Monday’s wash day the sheets would be hanging frozen on the line! Oh, how I wish I could meet you and talk about our experiences. Thanks also for another of your books about the Co-op having bananas!
I hope you make it to 94. I just want to reach 80.

[WendyGradwell · Rating 4 out of 5]

I came to read this through being a fan of Hunter’s late wife, the novelist, Margaret Forster. For the most part I enjoyed this memoir of an elderly man, embarking on his new and last journey in life as a widower; he doesn’t half repeat himself though! I guess in some ways it adds a touch of authenticity to his ramblings on old age. I came away from it thinking, ‘all human life is here’ - old Humper doesn’t hold anything back: money, wealth, health, children and grandchildren, pensioner-dating - all washed down with a glass of Beaujolais. Long live Hunter. But when he does wave his final goodbye what’s going to happen to the tortoise?

[Pierke Bosschieter · Rating 4 out of 5]

It's part memoir, part self-help, but I wonder if it was also a kind of self-help for Hunter Davies to write this. Of course, nothing wrong with that, as it provided me with several pleasurable hours reading it. I have to read the first part of his autobiography now as well, so on to The Co-op's Got Bananas: A Memoir of Growing Up in the Post-War North

[Anne · Rating 4 out of 5]

Hunter Davies's outlook on life in his 80's is a joy to read. From his love of wearing shorts as often as he can to his search for a companion in his "old age" after the loss of his wife Margaret, it's a cornucopia of his experiences: frankly spoken, some sad and many humorous. I found myself agreeing with Hunter's outlook on life quite often (but not quite all the time!) If you think getting old isn't any fun maybe this book will change your mind!

[Dee · Rating 4 out of 5]

An easy read and I really loved the occasional insights into his late wife, Margaret Forster - one of my favourite authors. Plus it was wonderful to be present at a festival reading with Margaret Drabble and to remind her of a lunch she'd been to (with several others) many years ago, organised by Hunter Davies - what a small world!

[Caroline · Rating 3 out of 5]

A good bedtime read. Reasonably entertaining, but not enough to keep me awake too late.

Hunter Davies is outspoken, funny and honest. He's in his early eighties, but also one of the fortunate ones - with family, reasonable health, money and even a career to hand when he wants them.

He wrote for The Sunday Times and for The Mail, and there are flavours of both in his writing.

[Michele · Rating 5 out of 5]

I've read this at a gallop. Only got it on Monday and finished it yesterday ( Wednesday), including doing a maths exam.
I have thoroughly enjoyed Hunter's three part autobiography. He sure has honed his journalistic craft. He makes me laugh. I love his zest for life and wish him many more years.

[Andy Blanche · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was a gentle and meandering account of Hunter’s life after losing his wife of over fifty years. He has an easy and personal style and it felt like he was chatting to me about his experiences. I wouldn’t say that there were any great revelations, based on the title, but it was fun.

[Liz · Rating 4 out of 5]

Enjoyable romp through his life since his wife died. Somethings were repeated but at his age, we can forgive him that.

[Pamela · Rating 5 out of 5]

Happy Book

He likes to tell a good story and like so many of the elderly—more than once and with happy abandon

[Fiona · Rating 5 out of 5]

Funny, heartwarming and peppered with interesting facts and annecdaotes. I'm so sad I've finished this book. Cheers Humper!

[Ruth-Anne Sahin · Rating 4 out of 5]

A really fun and interesting read. A guide to enjoying getting older

[Rere · Rating 5 out of 5]

Really enjoyed it and learned so much. 🥰