What do you think?
Rate this book
Flirting With Darkness
“Ben shows that the black keys of wistfulness and sorrow can make music every bit as beautiful as the white keys. These pages will train your ears to hear heaven’s music once again.”
—Jeremy Camp, Gold-charting singer and subject of the movie I Still Believe
“With depth and clarity, Ben draws on his personal experience to offer you the practical tools and the courage you need to retaliate against the weight of darkness and walk forward in freedom.”
—Levi Lusko, pastor and bestselling author
Ben Courson’s mission is to inject hope into a generation plagued by anxiety and despair. In this follow up to Optimisfits, he shares his own battles with depression, PTSD, and personal tragedy—and how that turmoil came to fuel his unabashed optimism and unshakable confidence in God’s ability to heal.
In Flirting with Darkness, Ben encourages you to not accept depression as a permanent state, but instead turn to the One who will champion your every struggle. He offers up the tools that helped him cling to God during his darkest moments, helping you discover how…
prayer can transform your spirit and turn your pain into joy
shifting your focus from your problems to God’s promises allows you to recognize your purpose
finding a tribe in friends and family will help you move beyond loneliness
counseling and medication can be important parts of God’s plan for your deliverance from mental illness
If you feel weighed down by despair, the childlike wonder and biblical insights in Flirting with Darkness will help you glimpse beyond your current pain to see the light in your own story.
—Jeremy Camp, Gold-charting singer and subject of the movie I Still Believe
“With depth and clarity, Ben draws on his personal experience to offer you the practical tools and the courage you need to retaliate against the weight of darkness and walk forward in freedom.”
—Levi Lusko, pastor and bestselling author
Ben Courson’s mission is to inject hope into a generation plagued by anxiety and despair. In this follow up to Optimisfits, he shares his own battles with depression, PTSD, and personal tragedy—and how that turmoil came to fuel his unabashed optimism and unshakable confidence in God’s ability to heal.
In Flirting with Darkness, Ben encourages you to not accept depression as a permanent state, but instead turn to the One who will champion your every struggle. He offers up the tools that helped him cling to God during his darkest moments, helping you discover how…
prayer can transform your spirit and turn your pain into joy
shifting your focus from your problems to God’s promises allows you to recognize your purpose
finding a tribe in friends and family will help you move beyond loneliness
counseling and medication can be important parts of God’s plan for your deliverance from mental illness
If you feel weighed down by despair, the childlike wonder and biblical insights in Flirting with Darkness will help you glimpse beyond your current pain to see the light in your own story.
256 pages, Paperback
Published September 8, 2020
12 people are currently reading
112 people want to read
Ratings & Reviews
Friends & Following
Create a free account to discover what your friends think of this book!
Community Reviews
Displaying 1 - 19 of 19 reviews
December 3, 2020
I was excited when I saw this book advertised on an Instagram story and I did like it. Well, the first part of the book. This book starts to get really personal and raw by the author sharing his own experiences and reasonings for writing this book. I really appreciated that, it helps to understand where everything that follows in the book comes from. It also helps with sympathizing with the author, let alone help you unlock your own experiences. I did also appreciate the "weapons" against depression he focuses on in part two of the book, I feel like they were not that groundbreaking. Although, reading about them again helped to remember them. The third part, however, is where I lost the connection to the topic altogether. The general thought behind each of the chapters in this part I do get; however, I missed the connection between them. It more so felt like a "brain dump" kind of journal at the end. I am pretty sure he tried or wanted to she the bigger picture with these chapters, but they more so feel like stand-alone chapters.
Overall, it was an okay book. However, if you are suffering from depression, please ALWAYS seek professional help. I know the step to seek out and get help is not easy, but it is the first step towards getting better.
Thinks I did not like in this book or I found somewhat problematic:
- the "no strings attached" thing. Well, yes, we receive God's love and grace as a gift prior to what we do to deserve them. However, to say that there are absolutely no strings attached seems flawed in my eyes because this would then mean and lead to the conclusion that you could literally do ANYTHING no matter how bad and God would still love you. I mean, yes he does; however (and this is also in the Bible) one should also repent, apologize, turn around and not do it again.
- the somewhat law-phobic tendency. This goes hand in hand with the one above, but also with the statement in the book about how the Bible "is not a rule book, but a hope book". I mean, yes, it is a book about hope, but to limit God's Word to only that would take away to much meaning of His written self-revelation to us. Also, rules and laws are not there to restrict us, BUT to free us. Imagine a world where EVERYONE (without a single exception) would really truthfully adhere to all the laws and regulations? You know what life would be like? Well, no one would get hurt, used or in any other way mistreated. So, yeah, laws and rules are giving us freedom. There is no need in being afraid for them.
- the attempts of excluding religion because only Jesus is what matters or the blaming religion part for faith having a bad reputation. I am not going to comment on that any further, other than faith is not a pick and choose but something you fully and truthfully commit to.
- the perspective on "let God love on you". Once again, while I get where this is coming from as God is Love, I am not a fan of the perspective this opens up. It is not us who decide on when God can love us or not, it is ALWAYS God who decides as HE is the first cause of everything.
Just be wary when reading this book. While its simplistic language makes it accessible to most, it's also dangerous to simply take everything written as a matter of fact. You should always think critically for yourself, too. In fact, thinking about what you read for yourself might even help you step out of your foggy surroundings as well?!
Other books I can recommend to you instead:
- for the Biblical/Christian perspective: Nathan Madison's Uproot: Reframing the Feeling of Inadequacy and Reclaiming Your Ground in God's Kingdom
- for a more scientific and thorough perspective as to how to "clear up" your mind for thinking clearly again: Sara Davenport's Reboot your Brain: Afraid of Losing Your Mind? Understand it - Heal it - Future-Proof it
Overall, it was an okay book. However, if you are suffering from depression, please ALWAYS seek professional help. I know the step to seek out and get help is not easy, but it is the first step towards getting better.
Thinks I did not like in this book or I found somewhat problematic:
- the "no strings attached" thing. Well, yes, we receive God's love and grace as a gift prior to what we do to deserve them. However, to say that there are absolutely no strings attached seems flawed in my eyes because this would then mean and lead to the conclusion that you could literally do ANYTHING no matter how bad and God would still love you. I mean, yes he does; however (and this is also in the Bible) one should also repent, apologize, turn around and not do it again.
- the somewhat law-phobic tendency. This goes hand in hand with the one above, but also with the statement in the book about how the Bible "is not a rule book, but a hope book". I mean, yes, it is a book about hope, but to limit God's Word to only that would take away to much meaning of His written self-revelation to us. Also, rules and laws are not there to restrict us, BUT to free us. Imagine a world where EVERYONE (without a single exception) would really truthfully adhere to all the laws and regulations? You know what life would be like? Well, no one would get hurt, used or in any other way mistreated. So, yeah, laws and rules are giving us freedom. There is no need in being afraid for them.
- the attempts of excluding religion because only Jesus is what matters or the blaming religion part for faith having a bad reputation. I am not going to comment on that any further, other than faith is not a pick and choose but something you fully and truthfully commit to.
- the perspective on "let God love on you". Once again, while I get where this is coming from as God is Love, I am not a fan of the perspective this opens up. It is not us who decide on when God can love us or not, it is ALWAYS God who decides as HE is the first cause of everything.
Just be wary when reading this book. While its simplistic language makes it accessible to most, it's also dangerous to simply take everything written as a matter of fact. You should always think critically for yourself, too. In fact, thinking about what you read for yourself might even help you step out of your foggy surroundings as well?!
Other books I can recommend to you instead:
- for the Biblical/Christian perspective: Nathan Madison's Uproot: Reframing the Feeling of Inadequacy and Reclaiming Your Ground in God's Kingdom
- for a more scientific and thorough perspective as to how to "clear up" your mind for thinking clearly again: Sara Davenport's Reboot your Brain: Afraid of Losing Your Mind? Understand it - Heal it - Future-Proof it
September 11, 2023
#throwbackthursday
Book: Flirting with Darkness
Author: Ben Courson
Monday’s category called for a book that features overcoming a set back so for today’s throw back Thursday I’m featuring a book that really helped a loved one of mine get through a dark time. I read this book in support of my family member and really ended up connecting with it myself.
It’s not CF, it’s Christian non-fiction, a true story of a young man who clawed his way out of depression by putting our Lord and Savior first.
I highly recommend this book if you're going through depression or even if you just need some coping mechanisms.
https://m.facebook.com/groups/scriptl...
Book: Flirting with Darkness
Author: Ben Courson
Monday’s category called for a book that features overcoming a set back so for today’s throw back Thursday I’m featuring a book that really helped a loved one of mine get through a dark time. I read this book in support of my family member and really ended up connecting with it myself.
It’s not CF, it’s Christian non-fiction, a true story of a young man who clawed his way out of depression by putting our Lord and Savior first.
I highly recommend this book if you're going through depression or even if you just need some coping mechanisms.
https://m.facebook.com/groups/scriptl...
May 7, 2020
I received this book for free via NetGalley in exchange for an honest review. I actually reached out for a copy, because I really appreciated the cover design and catchy title. Regrettably, it was a poor choice for me. I consider myself a mix of atheist and agnostic in my beliefs, so it wasn't a good move to choose a book that centered Christianity. Still, I tried to make an exception and try to experience a different type of literature than my usual without previous research on the author's background. It was impossible. However, I will try to remain as objective as possible while explaining why I didn't like the book.
The author's mission with the book is to 'rebel' against depression with hope, because depression, which he considers the root cause of suicide, leads to twice as many deaths as homicide in a year. He tries to do that in a very unorganized way, zigzagging through a variety of things, lacking organization. His strategies go from heavily quoting the Bible and comparing that to the reader's potential situation or mindset, to references of historical figures, to sharing journal-like personal stories in an attempt to connect with the reader. The problem in my view was that he is always communicating to a reader that is by default a Christian, which made it sound like depression was a problem plaguing only believers. What about a solution for the non-believers, or believers of different religions? How, I ask, would igniting hope be strategized then? In this case, religion in my eyes was highlighted mainly as an emotional crutch, and only in the middle of the book does the author begin to mention reasonable things like therapy, counseling, and medication, which to me were the only viable starter solutions to serious matters such as depression. Depression is a medical condition, not a mood, that often requires medication and a drastic change in lifestyle for most. The small disclaimer at the beginning of the book will be forgotten very easily with this style of confident narrative, by examples that will tap easily in the belief system of many believers. I should have heeded the romanticizing of depression from the title via the word 'flirtation'. 'Living life with childlike wonder' is NOT a solution for depression and weaving a bunch of random examples together in an attempt to give the depressed reader 'hope' is NOT a good strategy for managing depression. At some point the book will dedicate a snippet or two to advocate for reading, the gratitude attitude, overuse of technology and distraction, but then when highlighting the importance of play it's at the expense of downsizing the more logical minds (mathematicians). It felt more like an attempt to throw in some facts and to sound intelligent. If I was depressed, this book would not have helped me at all and it most certainly wouldn't have offered me any hope. People that suspect they may be suffering from depression need to seek out professional help, not delay or get distracted by other things. Period.
The author's mission with the book is to 'rebel' against depression with hope, because depression, which he considers the root cause of suicide, leads to twice as many deaths as homicide in a year. He tries to do that in a very unorganized way, zigzagging through a variety of things, lacking organization. His strategies go from heavily quoting the Bible and comparing that to the reader's potential situation or mindset, to references of historical figures, to sharing journal-like personal stories in an attempt to connect with the reader. The problem in my view was that he is always communicating to a reader that is by default a Christian, which made it sound like depression was a problem plaguing only believers. What about a solution for the non-believers, or believers of different religions? How, I ask, would igniting hope be strategized then? In this case, religion in my eyes was highlighted mainly as an emotional crutch, and only in the middle of the book does the author begin to mention reasonable things like therapy, counseling, and medication, which to me were the only viable starter solutions to serious matters such as depression. Depression is a medical condition, not a mood, that often requires medication and a drastic change in lifestyle for most. The small disclaimer at the beginning of the book will be forgotten very easily with this style of confident narrative, by examples that will tap easily in the belief system of many believers. I should have heeded the romanticizing of depression from the title via the word 'flirtation'. 'Living life with childlike wonder' is NOT a solution for depression and weaving a bunch of random examples together in an attempt to give the depressed reader 'hope' is NOT a good strategy for managing depression. At some point the book will dedicate a snippet or two to advocate for reading, the gratitude attitude, overuse of technology and distraction, but then when highlighting the importance of play it's at the expense of downsizing the more logical minds (mathematicians). It felt more like an attempt to throw in some facts and to sound intelligent. If I was depressed, this book would not have helped me at all and it most certainly wouldn't have offered me any hope. People that suspect they may be suffering from depression need to seek out professional help, not delay or get distracted by other things. Period.
October 19, 2020
Young pastor and author Ben Courson writes about his own struggles with depression and thoughts of suicide, to offer hope, encouragement and direction for others who are also suffering. Courson reports he has battled against depression for over 15 years, but he is convinced that depression can actually be defeated.
Courson divides his book into three parts. In Part One, he examines both the clinical and personal information he has discovered about depression, including what light the Bible brings to bear on the commonality of depression and how God assists those who struggle with both temporary and long-term depression. Courson also focuses on the many Christians throughout history who have also dealt with depression, to challenge the erroneous idea that mature Christians should be depressed.
In Part Two, Courson offers eleven "weapons" to fight against the effects of depression on the mind, spirit and body, including exercise and other natural methods to boost endorphins, getting out of isolation and leaning on friends, and learning how to receive love from God. Finally, in Part Three, the author provides about 25 short devotional readings to provide hope and focus to depression sufferers --- for them to read on a regular basis.
This book provides the kind of personal experience and Scripture-based viewpoint on depression to offer substantial help to believers who struggle with feelings of depression and suicidal thoughts. The author shares in an honest yet light-hearted way about his own battles with his mind and brain, and helps readers to feel like there is real hope for any Christian who makes the effort to follow through on the thoughts and strategies provided in this helpful book. Highly recommended!
Courson divides his book into three parts. In Part One, he examines both the clinical and personal information he has discovered about depression, including what light the Bible brings to bear on the commonality of depression and how God assists those who struggle with both temporary and long-term depression. Courson also focuses on the many Christians throughout history who have also dealt with depression, to challenge the erroneous idea that mature Christians should be depressed.
In Part Two, Courson offers eleven "weapons" to fight against the effects of depression on the mind, spirit and body, including exercise and other natural methods to boost endorphins, getting out of isolation and leaning on friends, and learning how to receive love from God. Finally, in Part Three, the author provides about 25 short devotional readings to provide hope and focus to depression sufferers --- for them to read on a regular basis.
This book provides the kind of personal experience and Scripture-based viewpoint on depression to offer substantial help to believers who struggle with feelings of depression and suicidal thoughts. The author shares in an honest yet light-hearted way about his own battles with his mind and brain, and helps readers to feel like there is real hope for any Christian who makes the effort to follow through on the thoughts and strategies provided in this helpful book. Highly recommended!
September 2, 2020
There are many books written on depression however they are authored by someone who has never experienced the darkness that comes with depression. In his book Flirting With Darkness by Ben Courson, Ben comes from that dark side sharing candidly his experience with depression. As someone who struggles with depression I found his insights refreshing as I felt and experienced the same things. Ben, will tell you he is a hope dealer and he doesn't leave you in the darkness but comes out and gives you the tools need to take on your depression head on. I read this book not sure what to expect but have finished with hope knowing that I am not alone in this struggle and in and through Christ I can overcome this darkness and embrace the light.
If you are looking for a book on depression from someone who has been there and someone you can relate to than look no further. You will leave this book encouraged, challenged and ready to live life without the cloud of depression over you head.
If you are looking for a book on depression from someone who has been there and someone you can relate to than look no further. You will leave this book encouraged, challenged and ready to live life without the cloud of depression over you head.
January 2, 2021
I love, love, LOVED this book. It was so inspiring and encouraging and every time I read it I wanted to make another change in my life. I read it as a normal book, but this would also make an excellent devotional. Having a biblical perspective on depression and anxiety in our current age and culture is so, so important and as someone who has struggled with anxiety and has felt down, this spoke to my heart and it is helping me to desire a closer relationship with God. I want everyone to read this. EVERYone. I’m going to gift this book to everyone on their birthdays just watch. Even if you’re not currently battling depression, we all have moments in our lives where we are flirting with the darkness and this book is a wake-up call to start seeing things differently. Thanks to Ben Coulson for writing this and speaking the truth!!!
September 5, 2020
If 2020 has taught us anything, it’s that we are stronger than we think, even through this season of uncertainty.
As someone who personally battled anxiety and depression, Flirting with Darkness has brought not only comfort that I’m not alone but HOPE that I CAN heal and fight because I will slay the dragon.
Flirting with Darkness isn’t a “sexy” romantic thriller, but a beautiful, raw, authentic and true love story between Ben and God, detailing the highest highs and lowest lows. Ben’s vulnerability about his own struggles (and triumphs) allow the reader to see that life can and will get better, that even the darkest thoughts can’t make God love us any less and that there is healing, light and true joy on the other side of the darkness!
As someone who personally battled anxiety and depression, Flirting with Darkness has brought not only comfort that I’m not alone but HOPE that I CAN heal and fight because I will slay the dragon.
Flirting with Darkness isn’t a “sexy” romantic thriller, but a beautiful, raw, authentic and true love story between Ben and God, detailing the highest highs and lowest lows. Ben’s vulnerability about his own struggles (and triumphs) allow the reader to see that life can and will get better, that even the darkest thoughts can’t make God love us any less and that there is healing, light and true joy on the other side of the darkness!
September 6, 2020
Ben did an amazing job sharing his personal testimony, his struggle with depression. He includes his powerful story, as well as things that helped him with his depression. He also includes Science and the Bible, throughout this book, which I love. This book is very practical. It is full of so much wisdom and help for those suffering from depression. This is a very hope filled book! I love his vulnerability and honesty throughout this book. He is really relatable to, I believe, every person. There are also many times where you will laugh out loud-at what he writes-because of his humor! Another thing I like about this book, is it is very encouraging! I believe everyone should read this book. It is faith-filled, uplifting and beautiful!! Do yourself a favor, read Flirting With Darkness.
November 13, 2020
I liked it and thought it was helpful, encouraging, and hopeful. All the scientific insights are interesting and the practical steps are helpful! The author speaks from his own experience with depression and shares what worked for him in his battle. The reason I only gave it 3 stars though is because some (not all) of the Scripture quotations are taken out of context or “cherry-picked” and the interpretations used are a bit of a stretch, like they work in the context he put them in but they have a much deeper meaning in the original context. Like I said, some but not all of them are that way. Others he does a good job of setting up the background of the story and using the verses in-context.
September 2, 2020
Reading "Flirting With Darkness" was CAPTIVATING for me, just like watching Ben Courson live on social media or TV. His energy and love for life is contagious. His willingness to share his own life's experiences is truly a motivation for this and future generations. As a health coach, and an aunt of someone who committed suicide when battling depression, I am so very grateful that Ben has written this book. "Flirting With Darkness" is not a book that you can read once. You will want to keep reading it again and again to allow the words, strength, and promises of God soak into your very soul.
September 8, 2020
I only wish I’d had this book earlier. Flirting with Darkness is definitely a book that I will be buying for many loved ones and friends who struggle, like I have, with depression and suicidal ideation. Ben uses his own personal experience along with his unique style, wealth of intelligence and quick wit to provide insightful and actionable information on conquering depression instead of just living with it. It is clear that this book was written with a heart full of love for others and a desire to share Gods message of certain hope with the world.
September 4, 2020
Ben Courson writes from his heart and shares his unique and powerful story about flirting with darkness and how he worked through that darkness to find light again. He speaks to you as a friend sharing his wisdom and advice in a way that everyone can relate to. I find myself constantly highlighting quotes and coming back to them. Ben Courson is the voice that our generation needs!
September 5, 2020
Ben pours out his heart in this book! For one who battles with depression it was so encouraging to know we are not alone and shouldn’t be isolated or feel we are weaker because of it! Ben gives Godly encouragement and backs up everything through scripture! Read it all in one day! Couldn’t put it down! Cant wait to see HOPE spread through all generations
September 4, 2020
One of my favorite quotes in the book is, "If you will unplug and get the rest you need, a burning bush might just appear to remind you that freedom has come, that your bondage is over, and that God has prepared a promised land for you."
January 18, 2021
This should be required reading for every teenager...and adult.
June 28, 2021
Very uplifting book full of quotes and insight on embracing our true nature. This will be a good reference book for a pick-me-up reminder on God’s love for me.
February 28, 2023
I was hoping for more about depression and how to help it without bringing god into it more. He sounded more like he was preaching then trying to help overcome depression. I feel like he couldve made it for everyone and not just necessarily christians but I still enjoyed this book nonetheless and got some really good tips, just dont read if you dont believe in a higher power.
August 5, 2020
Ben Courson starts by telling us why he wrote this book: because there are twice as many suicides than murders in the United States, because we are not called to live with depression but to defeat it, because he has walked this road before and wants to share the hope he has found.
The meat of this book is in the second part, where Courson shares the various tools and practices that have helped him in defeating depression. I went into this a little skeptically because it started off rather Christian-counsellor (pray and read your Bible and everything will be okay). I’m not saying that God can’t heal, but I’m also wary because God doesn’t always heal. In fact, Courson does address this:
There’s a level-headed mix of faith and science in his eleven “weapons”. There is both very Christian-y stuff (dive deep into Scripture, hold on to heaven, letting God love on you) as well as medical stuff (exercise, stop wallowing in social media, go for therapy, take medication). He also goes for the slightly bizarre—having crazy adventures with your friends!
Part 3 is where things get a little disjointed. It felt like Courson had a bunch of thoughts and slapped them into a chapter each, jumping all over the place. I understand what he’s getting at though: If the Creator of this amazing universe knows the stars by name yet still loves and calls you by name, you should accept that He wants the best for you!
Courson circles back to a few central thoughts throughout the book—that God loves and cares for you, and a proper understanding of God’s love, who He really is (in spite of religion, despite Christianity), and what He wants for you will help you defeat depression. I’m slightly wary of the reshaping-consciousness-by-telling-yourself-truths thing (which feels a little positive-confession to me), but overall, the message is clear: we need to learn how to rest in God and accept his grace, whether that means you pray for healing or you head to the doctor’s, or both.
Note: I received a complimentary copy of this book from Harvest House Publishers via Netgalley. Opinions expressed in this review are completely my own.
The meat of this book is in the second part, where Courson shares the various tools and practices that have helped him in defeating depression. I went into this a little skeptically because it started off rather Christian-counsellor (pray and read your Bible and everything will be okay). I’m not saying that God can’t heal, but I’m also wary because God doesn’t always heal. In fact, Courson does address this:
“Well-meaning people might tell you that the solution to your problem is right there in the Bible, but I’m here to say that it’s more complicated than that. So-called biblical counselors may be able to provide some relief to people with mild cases of depression, but when you are in psychological pain, you’ll need more than a spiritual Band-Aid.
And that’s perfectly okay.”
There’s a level-headed mix of faith and science in his eleven “weapons”. There is both very Christian-y stuff (dive deep into Scripture, hold on to heaven, letting God love on you) as well as medical stuff (exercise, stop wallowing in social media, go for therapy, take medication). He also goes for the slightly bizarre—having crazy adventures with your friends!
Part 3 is where things get a little disjointed. It felt like Courson had a bunch of thoughts and slapped them into a chapter each, jumping all over the place. I understand what he’s getting at though: If the Creator of this amazing universe knows the stars by name yet still loves and calls you by name, you should accept that He wants the best for you!
Courson circles back to a few central thoughts throughout the book—that God loves and cares for you, and a proper understanding of God’s love, who He really is (in spite of religion, despite Christianity), and what He wants for you will help you defeat depression. I’m slightly wary of the reshaping-consciousness-by-telling-yourself-truths thing (which feels a little positive-confession to me), but overall, the message is clear: we need to learn how to rest in God and accept his grace, whether that means you pray for healing or you head to the doctor’s, or both.
Note: I received a complimentary copy of this book from Harvest House Publishers via Netgalley. Opinions expressed in this review are completely my own.
Displaying 1 - 19 of 19 reviews