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The Secret Lemonade Drinker
It is Christmas time in a small, modern, utterly featureless town somewhere in the Home Counties, where Bobby Booth lives.The main preoccupations of its inhabitants are drink – at the pub generally known as the Planet of the Apes because it is frequented by so many long-haired young men – and gossip, which at Bobby’s closest friend Roland’s Christmas party turns into violence…Bobby manages a launderette for Roland, who is gross, periodically rich and a man without illusions. Previously Bobby was a schoolteacher whose class was interrupted one fateful day by slim, blonde journalist, Caroline. Despite Roland’s warning – he believes in sex, not marriage – Bobby marries her.One evening an attractive brunette wanders into the launderette. It is her second visit, and in no time she has dragged Bobby into bed. Sometime before, Bobby has been pronounced sterile. Caroline wants a baby – a baby by a real man, even if it is a milkman. The temptation to yield irrevocably to the charms of the brunette grows powerfully in Bobby. But will he be able to resist?‘One of the wittiest books I’ve read in years....a delicious book by a wonderfully funny, aphoristic writer’ - Erica Jong‘Must surely mark the arrival of a major new comic talent. I laughed and I laughed, read it in the state of tremulous excitement which must be the nearest we novel reviewers come to an understanding of heavenly bliss…the book is a corker – witty, intelligently observed, well written and original’ - Auberon Waugh, Evening StandardGuy Bellamy was born in Bristol but lived mostly in Surrey. After National Service in Germany with the RAF, he went into journalism and worked on newspapers in Cornwall, Bournemouth, Brighton and Fleet Street including the Daily Express and Sun . He died in 2015.
- GenresFiction
1 pages, Paperback
First published January 1, 1988
About the author
Guy Bellamy
26 books9 followersGuy Bellamy (1935–2015) was an English author known for humorous novels. He wrote 14 novels, starting with The Secret Lemonade Drinker in 1977. His last, The Secret Vodka Drinker, appeared in 2012.
Bellamy was born in Bristol in 1935, but grew up in Surrey. Upon leaving school, he joined the RAF for National Service. He worked as a journalist on local newspapers in the Surrey area before going on to work on Fleet Street, becoming one of the youngest sub-editors on the Daily Express at the age of 24. He then worked at The Sun, before leaving in 1977 to focus on writing novels.
Bellamy was born in Bristol in 1935, but grew up in Surrey. Upon leaving school, he joined the RAF for National Service. He worked as a journalist on local newspapers in the Surrey area before going on to work on Fleet Street, becoming one of the youngest sub-editors on the Daily Express at the age of 24. He then worked at The Sun, before leaving in 1977 to focus on writing novels.
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Displaying 1 - 8 of 8 reviews
March 16, 2016
Pretty dreadful.
Maybe it's a bit 'of its time', published in 1977. The writing is ok, the story isn't that interesting, and there weren't any bits that made me laugh.
It's light enough though, and can be read in a couple of sittings.
The most interesting bit about the book is the attitude towards women back in the 70's.
Maybe it's a bit 'of its time', published in 1977. The writing is ok, the story isn't that interesting, and there weren't any bits that made me laugh.
It's light enough though, and can be read in a couple of sittings.
The most interesting bit about the book is the attitude towards women back in the 70's.
November 18, 2024
I read this book years and years go and I think it was the last book of fiction I read that was funny. I thought it was brilliant when I was 22. God knows what I would think now.
August 29, 2023
Bobby’s wife is determined to have a child, but it simply isn’t happening for them, and it seems that this is down to him. She’s unhappy, and their perfect marriage is creaking.
Bobby has opted out of the daily routine of school teaching, hoping to find fulfilment in the business world; but so far, the best he’s achieved is to become manager of a high-street launderette owned by a bumptious friend who fancies himself as an entrepreneur.
It’s Christmas. Bobby is alone in the launderette when a young woman walks in, takes off all her clothes and stuffs them in to wash. You can guess what happens next. It’s a bold and attention-grabbing opening, and the book continues in a spirit of wry humour as Bobby weaves his way through the increasing complexities of his life in a provincial British town.
Sadly, the paperback front cover that is on display as I write this (showing a woman's backside) sends a hopelessly misleading message about the content. It's not a book of music-hall belly-laughs; it's an intelligent and witty exploration of some complex issues.
I would certainly never call it either dull or sexist, which some reviewers have suggested. To me it’s peopled by vivid three-dimensional characters, and packed with dry, pithy observation. Yes, one of the characters reflects that a woman’s place is in the wrong, but the words are ironic. We never once feel that the very likable Bobby actually believes this himself, or that the author does either. And I’m not alone in that view; when the novel was first published, the noted feminist writer Erica Yong was fulsome in her admiration of it, calling it “a delicious book by a funny, aphoristic writer”.
Perhaps she liked the fact that the two main women are both such strong characters, and take matters very much into their own hands to achieve their objectives – with somewhat varying results, it has to be said. In fact the quirky young woman in the launderette is one of my favourite characters in literature. Her witty conversations with Bobby are priceless.
In some ways this is a challenging book, in which the characters weave their way through some tricky moral issues; and the there’s real tension as we approach the climax. If you approach it in the right frame of mind, I think you’ll find it a revelation.
Bobby has opted out of the daily routine of school teaching, hoping to find fulfilment in the business world; but so far, the best he’s achieved is to become manager of a high-street launderette owned by a bumptious friend who fancies himself as an entrepreneur.
It’s Christmas. Bobby is alone in the launderette when a young woman walks in, takes off all her clothes and stuffs them in to wash. You can guess what happens next. It’s a bold and attention-grabbing opening, and the book continues in a spirit of wry humour as Bobby weaves his way through the increasing complexities of his life in a provincial British town.
Sadly, the paperback front cover that is on display as I write this (showing a woman's backside) sends a hopelessly misleading message about the content. It's not a book of music-hall belly-laughs; it's an intelligent and witty exploration of some complex issues.
I would certainly never call it either dull or sexist, which some reviewers have suggested. To me it’s peopled by vivid three-dimensional characters, and packed with dry, pithy observation. Yes, one of the characters reflects that a woman’s place is in the wrong, but the words are ironic. We never once feel that the very likable Bobby actually believes this himself, or that the author does either. And I’m not alone in that view; when the novel was first published, the noted feminist writer Erica Yong was fulsome in her admiration of it, calling it “a delicious book by a funny, aphoristic writer”.
Perhaps she liked the fact that the two main women are both such strong characters, and take matters very much into their own hands to achieve their objectives – with somewhat varying results, it has to be said. In fact the quirky young woman in the launderette is one of my favourite characters in literature. Her witty conversations with Bobby are priceless.
In some ways this is a challenging book, in which the characters weave their way through some tricky moral issues; and the there’s real tension as we approach the climax. If you approach it in the right frame of mind, I think you’ll find it a revelation.
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June 18, 2016Maybe you just have to be a guy. I don't know, it seems to me I've read plenty of mysogynist books, but this one -really? Lovely lines like "A woman's place? In the wrong".... The book was meant to be hilariously funny, according to the comments on the cover. I suppose part of the problem is that there are absolutely no endearing or even interesting characters in the whole story, there's not a one I would want to have to wait at a bus stop with and make idle conversation with, let along spend the time it takes to read this. I picked it up from the library swap shelf, and it may well find its way there again.
June 13, 2023
Absolute garbage -
Sexists , racist , unfunny , boring and predictable .
Cared nothing for any character , didn’t laugh once , so glad it was a kindle freebie and I never actually purchased this book as it would of been going straight back , or burnt.
Sadly would only appeal to men of a certain age , those that can relate to it I feel are most likely archaic old dinosaurs with outdated views and women haters .
Not for me at all !
Sexists , racist , unfunny , boring and predictable .
Cared nothing for any character , didn’t laugh once , so glad it was a kindle freebie and I never actually purchased this book as it would of been going straight back , or burnt.
Sadly would only appeal to men of a certain age , those that can relate to it I feel are most likely archaic old dinosaurs with outdated views and women haters .
Not for me at all !
October 25, 2014
This is a really good read and funny
November 11, 2014
Very funny, light and frothy.
July 21, 2020
Hahahahaha this book addicted me to Bellamy, despite his later darker ones. What a treat
Displaying 1 - 8 of 8 reviews