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Things My Mother Told Me
When Anjali finds out that Jack, her boyfriend of ten years, has been cheating on her, it throws her world into chaos. Heartbroken, she fills the emptiness by embarking on a series of flings that her traditional Sri Lankan mother would (mostly) disapprove of.
Yet she can no longer avoid her mother or Shanthi, her distant older sister. And so begins her real journey, one that will make Anjali confront a past she's been desperate to forget. But maybe the past can also be the bridge to her future . . .
Set in Bristol and Sri Lanka, Things My Mother Told Me is a warm, moving and funny story about love, loss, family, cultural divides and the voices we hear in our heads. It will stay with you long after you've turned the final page.
Yet she can no longer avoid her mother or Shanthi, her distant older sister. And so begins her real journey, one that will make Anjali confront a past she's been desperate to forget. But maybe the past can also be the bridge to her future . . .
Set in Bristol and Sri Lanka, Things My Mother Told Me is a warm, moving and funny story about love, loss, family, cultural divides and the voices we hear in our heads. It will stay with you long after you've turned the final page.
- GenresContemporaryFiction
320 pages, Paperback
Published July 11, 2019
18 people are currently reading
138 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 28 of 28 reviews
March 21, 2020
2.75 stars
cw: deals with mental illness
Wow, okay, this took me waaaaay longer than I thought it would, mostly because it was rather slow and boring. At least to me. Anjali, our protagonist, just found out her longtime bf cheated on her and she is devastated. Around half of the book is Anjali whining about Jack and trying to forget him bla bla bla. But then there is also her older sister, an artist who deals with mental health problems and the more that aspect is explored, it gets so much more interesting.
Like, I've read the romance aspect enough times and for a while I was afraid she would make the wrong choices, turns out though, she did what I wanted her to. And when she reconnects with her sister and confronts her own shortcomings in being there for Shanthi, that's what really works well. I would have liked more of that.
cw: deals with mental illness
Wow, okay, this took me waaaaay longer than I thought it would, mostly because it was rather slow and boring. At least to me. Anjali, our protagonist, just found out her longtime bf cheated on her and she is devastated. Around half of the book is Anjali whining about Jack and trying to forget him bla bla bla. But then there is also her older sister, an artist who deals with mental health problems and the more that aspect is explored, it gets so much more interesting.
Like, I've read the romance aspect enough times and for a while I was afraid she would make the wrong choices, turns out though, she did what I wanted her to. And when she reconnects with her sister and confronts her own shortcomings in being there for Shanthi, that's what really works well. I would have liked more of that.
May 19, 2019
An addictive read, emotional, entertaining, touching and soo interesting. You connect and feel for Anjali so much, a wonderful read and one of my favourites this year.
Thanks to netgalley and the publisher for a free copy for an honest opinion
Thanks to netgalley and the publisher for a free copy for an honest opinion
August 12, 2021
When Anjali finds out that her boyfriend of ten years has cheated on her, she feels like her world has ended. But maybe the ending of her relationship will be the start of a new, more honest, adventure…
This was such a lovely surprise of a book! It’s warm and funny and honest and raw and although there is a romance element to it, it’s more about finding yourself and being honest about who you are and what you want your life to be.
It also looks at mental health, family ties and how easy it can be to get stuck in a life you never planned for.
I really enjoyed this gem of a book and will be looking for more from the author.
Huge thanks to A Box of Stories for sending it my way!
This was such a lovely surprise of a book! It’s warm and funny and honest and raw and although there is a romance element to it, it’s more about finding yourself and being honest about who you are and what you want your life to be.
It also looks at mental health, family ties and how easy it can be to get stuck in a life you never planned for.
I really enjoyed this gem of a book and will be looking for more from the author.
Huge thanks to A Box of Stories for sending it my way!
September 13, 2019
I relished every page of this book. I think Anjali is such a relatable female protagonist, who, aged 29, still has one toe dipped back in her childhood and her feelings relating to her family whilst struggling with what she truly wants for herself and her own identity. Betrayed by her boyfriend, who was her anchor amongst the chaos, this sets her adrift in to unknown waters, some of which steer her to confront what she has been avoiding for such a long time.
There were parts where I laughed so much because of her humour and the way she interprets situations; it's written in such a clever way that you feel you're inside Anjali's head, almost part of her conscience. Her love of stories and of flowers (she works in a florists) was captivating and I found her such a fantastic character.
There are also heartbreaking and deeply moving parts that grasp you, make you question not only what the characters are thinking but what you'd do in the same circumstances, and makes you see things differently along their journeys.
I adored Anjali, Clara and their relationship, but also the complex and endearing relationship between Anjali, her mother and her sister, their love expressed mostly in unsaid actions that completely overwhelmed me by the end of the book.
I feel it's a story about finding yourself, your true home, and an acceptance of who we are, as individuals, and what we need. This book also explores the deep connections to food, tradition, family and centres these amongst grief, mental health, racism and cultural diversity.
I highly recommend this book so you can get to know Anjali for yourself.
There were parts where I laughed so much because of her humour and the way she interprets situations; it's written in such a clever way that you feel you're inside Anjali's head, almost part of her conscience. Her love of stories and of flowers (she works in a florists) was captivating and I found her such a fantastic character.
There are also heartbreaking and deeply moving parts that grasp you, make you question not only what the characters are thinking but what you'd do in the same circumstances, and makes you see things differently along their journeys.
I adored Anjali, Clara and their relationship, but also the complex and endearing relationship between Anjali, her mother and her sister, their love expressed mostly in unsaid actions that completely overwhelmed me by the end of the book.
I feel it's a story about finding yourself, your true home, and an acceptance of who we are, as individuals, and what we need. This book also explores the deep connections to food, tradition, family and centres these amongst grief, mental health, racism and cultural diversity.
I highly recommend this book so you can get to know Anjali for yourself.
October 14, 2019
Thanks to Little Brown Book Group UK and NetGalley for the Advance Review Copy in exchange for an honest review.
My expectations were already pretty high for this book because contemporary South Asian diaspora stories are my jam, but if anything, this book managed to exceed them. I tend to read multiple books at once, but when I was reading this I basically did not leave my bed until I finished it.
The main character of this book is Anjali, a 29-year-old British Sri-Lankan woman facing the collapse of her long-term relationship. Anjali is forced to confront her situation and the key relationships she has in her increasingly complicated life.
So far so chick lit but no no no.. it is SO much more than that. One thing that really stuck out for me when I was reading was how grown up and real this book is. I can’t directly relate to Anjali’s experience, but I felt like I just GOT her, everything felt utterly believable.
Although there were numerous laugh out loud moments, the book also deals with some serious issues including mental illness, racism, infidelity, grief and loss. The exploration of mental illness in particular was sensitively done without turning into a big tropey mess.
Anjali’s love life is one of key threads running through the plot and it’s hard to say much about this aspect of the story without giving much away but if you’re in your 20s or 30s and have experienced the highs and lows of love well... there’s lots of angst here to keep you hooked - sorry Anjali. There were moments I was reading thinking “gurl...no” but then remember all the dumb shit I've done in the name of love and that was one of the best aspects of this story for me – I could actually relate.
The relationship between Anjali and her mother in particular really hit home for me. I remember being that age and struggling to connect with my mother and come to a mutual understanding about the decisions we’ve both made and the deeper motivations behind them. I felt like the familial relationships were the real heart of the novel.
I honestly can’t think of a single thing I didn’t enjoy about this book, it had it all. If you’re a millenial woman whose life is a big hot mess sometimes, then this is the book for you.
My expectations were already pretty high for this book because contemporary South Asian diaspora stories are my jam, but if anything, this book managed to exceed them. I tend to read multiple books at once, but when I was reading this I basically did not leave my bed until I finished it.
The main character of this book is Anjali, a 29-year-old British Sri-Lankan woman facing the collapse of her long-term relationship. Anjali is forced to confront her situation and the key relationships she has in her increasingly complicated life.
So far so chick lit but no no no.. it is SO much more than that. One thing that really stuck out for me when I was reading was how grown up and real this book is. I can’t directly relate to Anjali’s experience, but I felt like I just GOT her, everything felt utterly believable.
Although there were numerous laugh out loud moments, the book also deals with some serious issues including mental illness, racism, infidelity, grief and loss. The exploration of mental illness in particular was sensitively done without turning into a big tropey mess.
Anjali’s love life is one of key threads running through the plot and it’s hard to say much about this aspect of the story without giving much away but if you’re in your 20s or 30s and have experienced the highs and lows of love well... there’s lots of angst here to keep you hooked - sorry Anjali. There were moments I was reading thinking “gurl...no” but then remember all the dumb shit I've done in the name of love and that was one of the best aspects of this story for me – I could actually relate.
The relationship between Anjali and her mother in particular really hit home for me. I remember being that age and struggling to connect with my mother and come to a mutual understanding about the decisions we’ve both made and the deeper motivations behind them. I felt like the familial relationships were the real heart of the novel.
I honestly can’t think of a single thing I didn’t enjoy about this book, it had it all. If you’re a millenial woman whose life is a big hot mess sometimes, then this is the book for you.
January 25, 2020
When Anjali finds out that her boyfriends cheated on her, her life turns upside down - she is heartbroken, abandoned and lonely. Her life revolves around her work in a flower shop with her best friend, and awkward Sunday lunches at her mum's - without Jack she is adrift, and she is throwing herself into flings and romances - she even lets her Sri Lankan mum to set her up. But she comes to realise that her problems reach much deeper - into a heart of her family, to her relationship with her mother, sister and her deceased father.
"Things by mother told me" is a slow burning book which touches on many issues – mental health, loss, cultural differences and love. I really enjoyed Anjali’s pursuit of happiness, and her slow discovery of things that were really relevant and missing from her life. I must say that I enjoyed the second part much more, as it concentrated less on love life and more about Anjali’s family, especially her relationship with her sister, Shanthi. The beginning was steering towards the romance, but I am glad that the author decided to dig deeper – despite the funny bits there are also moving moments that make you think and reflect on the realities of different people’s lives.
"Things by mother told me" is a slow burning book which touches on many issues – mental health, loss, cultural differences and love. I really enjoyed Anjali’s pursuit of happiness, and her slow discovery of things that were really relevant and missing from her life. I must say that I enjoyed the second part much more, as it concentrated less on love life and more about Anjali’s family, especially her relationship with her sister, Shanthi. The beginning was steering towards the romance, but I am glad that the author decided to dig deeper – despite the funny bits there are also moving moments that make you think and reflect on the realities of different people’s lives.
February 4, 2025
I think the reason I loved this book so much was for how relatable I found it. The book follows a young south Asian woman navigating herself after spending her whole twenties in a committed relationship with a man and how she’s trying to deal with life now being single again and the pressures from her mother being almost 30 and single (spinster age in south asian culture). This relationship was kind of like her whole personality and consumed her 20s and now she’s single again she’s trying to visit her mum more and become closer to her family on as well as get to know different men and see what else is there is out there.
I think for people unable to relate to the book or having not experienced something similar they may find the book slightly boring or it drags but for me I found it extremely relatable and it explores the important themes within the south asian community like mental health, interracial relationships, being single past the age of 25 (anything over 24 is old) and the relationships between family members .
This book really taught me about the importance of not becoming consumed by a relationship and to make more effort with those friends and family members that may have got sidetracked without realising.
I think for people unable to relate to the book or having not experienced something similar they may find the book slightly boring or it drags but for me I found it extremely relatable and it explores the important themes within the south asian community like mental health, interracial relationships, being single past the age of 25 (anything over 24 is old) and the relationships between family members .
This book really taught me about the importance of not becoming consumed by a relationship and to make more effort with those friends and family members that may have got sidetracked without realising.
April 18, 2022
★★★☆☆ (3.5/5)
This isn't my usual genre, and I only read it because my mum suggested it (not sure if I should read into that one a little bit more). It's a story of a 29 year old woman, Anjali, who, after discovering her partner's infidelity, has to take a different path in life than expected. It's not a revolutionary plot line, but with the interweaving of her mother's sarcasm and disappointment at the lack of a son-in-law (which leads to phrases like "in your next life you will be a cow!"), it becomes a humorous, light-hearted read.
Of course, there are topics in the novel that are much more serious, like Anjali coming to terms with her sister's schizophrenia - for me, this was a bit of an odd inclusion, because so much of the novel is so heavily focused on Anjali and her love life, her sister's struggle felt like an afterthought, or an obstacle for Anjali to come to terms with, rather than actually understanding her sister's pain and struggle.
While Anjali can come across quite self-centred, at the end of the day, it was an easy and funny read.
tw// mental illness, schizophrenia, death, mentions of racism, mentions of disordered eating
This isn't my usual genre, and I only read it because my mum suggested it (not sure if I should read into that one a little bit more). It's a story of a 29 year old woman, Anjali, who, after discovering her partner's infidelity, has to take a different path in life than expected. It's not a revolutionary plot line, but with the interweaving of her mother's sarcasm and disappointment at the lack of a son-in-law (which leads to phrases like "in your next life you will be a cow!"), it becomes a humorous, light-hearted read.
Of course, there are topics in the novel that are much more serious, like Anjali coming to terms with her sister's schizophrenia - for me, this was a bit of an odd inclusion, because so much of the novel is so heavily focused on Anjali and her love life, her sister's struggle felt like an afterthought, or an obstacle for Anjali to come to terms with, rather than actually understanding her sister's pain and struggle.
While Anjali can come across quite self-centred, at the end of the day, it was an easy and funny read.
tw// mental illness, schizophrenia, death, mentions of racism, mentions of disordered eating
July 30, 2025
A Book Group choice; I’m not sure who chose this one, and maybe it was a random pick from the library service’s ‘ books we have multiple copies of and can lend to Book Groups’ list. In any case, it seemed an odd choice for a group of (mainly) ladies of a certain age - I’m pretty sure most of us are over 70.
To be fair, there was more to this than a rom com with a fair bit of rumpy pumpy thrown in. I enjoyed the Sri Lankan background, although Mum was rather a cliche of the hovering parent. The ending is fairly predictable too. I agree with other reviewers who say that the book comes alive when dealing with Shanthi’s mental health struggles; is this perhaps an issue the author has encountered in her own family background? It certainly rang truer than other parts of the book.
Some of the language and imagery was fresh and at times quite unsettling. I felt the author was capable of better things, so maybe someone to watch out for. I got the impression that this was a first published novel.
To be fair, there was more to this than a rom com with a fair bit of rumpy pumpy thrown in. I enjoyed the Sri Lankan background, although Mum was rather a cliche of the hovering parent. The ending is fairly predictable too. I agree with other reviewers who say that the book comes alive when dealing with Shanthi’s mental health struggles; is this perhaps an issue the author has encountered in her own family background? It certainly rang truer than other parts of the book.
Some of the language and imagery was fresh and at times quite unsettling. I felt the author was capable of better things, so maybe someone to watch out for. I got the impression that this was a first published novel.
August 19, 2019
My first Sri Lankan author and I was able to get through with the book ... so extra points for that.
Anjali’s story is a nice cross between a chick-lit and a journey of self discovery for a young Sri Lankan British - trying to find the balance between her roots and where she was born & lives.
The cultural clash that is a common woe for many across the globe ... its just not easy to find sanity, harmony and happiness!
Anjali’s story is a nice cross between a chick-lit and a journey of self discovery for a young Sri Lankan British - trying to find the balance between her roots and where she was born & lives.
The cultural clash that is a common woe for many across the globe ... its just not easy to find sanity, harmony and happiness!
August 22, 2021
The story is a little slow paced but as you delve deeper into it, its poignancy will become obvious. The author handles the mental health issue with sensitivity and hope, while she doesn't downplay the harsh circumstances of it. Her own love life is as complicated as anyone's - making it instantly relatable - on top of her struggles to remain in the bosom of her widowed Sri Lankan mum and elder sister.
March 2, 2023
This book bored me to bits. Its a typical break up story and how the MC finds herself by sleeping with various men and dumping them. And the icing on the cake is the typical nagging Indian Mother who wants to see her daughters settled down. I just don't understand why some writers cant see pass the over mentioned Indian mothers and marriages, I mean there is more to an Indian household than parents breathing down their children's neck on marriages and job prospects.
I found this book too boring that I flipped thru pages as i found some scenes repeating itself. A total waste of time and money
I found this book too boring that I flipped thru pages as i found some scenes repeating itself. A total waste of time and money
May 11, 2021
🌸"I think of the things I have never told my mother. I know there are some things she can never tell me either."
After her breakup, Anjali tries to lose herself in others, and everything reminds her of Jack. Good memories are mixed with bad. She searches for comfort in family and friends.
Several times I felt that author Tanya Atapattu really got the feelings of heartbreak down. That is exactly what a breakup is like.
Now, about the steam🍆...
The rest of my review is on:
https://booksbargainsandbrands.blogsp...
After her breakup, Anjali tries to lose herself in others, and everything reminds her of Jack. Good memories are mixed with bad. She searches for comfort in family and friends.
Several times I felt that author Tanya Atapattu really got the feelings of heartbreak down. That is exactly what a breakup is like.
Now, about the steam🍆...
The rest of my review is on:
https://booksbargainsandbrands.blogsp...
August 30, 2019
I nearly gave this book up as it was reading too much like chick lit. Then all of a sudden it wasn’t and I fell in love with this gorgeous book and it’s lovely main characters who change and grow throughout the year. This is my favourite read of the year. ♥️
February 11, 2021
4.5/5 for me really enjoyed this book especially as it went on more and more I became really invested in the characters and their very different lives. I felt happy after finishing it and if a books left me in a really good mood after finishing it, it was a good book. :-)
April 4, 2022
I loved this book. It touches on so many themes, identity, mental illness, belonging, family whilst being beautifully written and really evocative. A gentle book which packed a punch. My only tiny reservation was the epilogue, I liked it better without.
January 2, 2024
Slow to start but enjoyable overall. This had the potential to be a really moving book but just didn't go beyond surface level with some of the most interesting themes. A good beach read and nice to see more diverse representation in chick lit/easy read fiction.
April 19, 2019
3-31/2 stars
January 21, 2021
Cute and heartwarming. I kept thinking during it that it wasn't really my bag, but it grew on me. A sweet little story of family and love.
February 13, 2021
Another book that I read for my literature module. Enjoyed it more than I expected and offered a complicated reflection of navigating quarter-to-mid-life crises.
March 12, 2021
Not sure about this book. Slow to start then raced at the end. But I did enjoy it
April 16, 2021
Distinctly average, predictable and not very well written. Struggled to care about or like any of the characters.
June 6, 2021
Not the best book I have ever read. Quite predictable
June 7, 2021
This was an easy to read book and I read it in a couple of days. I liked the storyline but would have liked a bit more of an ending!
August 2, 2021
3.5/5
Review to come x
Review to come x
April 26, 2023
For its way to delicately touch upon mental health and the infinite struggle with family ties.
January 16, 2021
So, this one is a bit of a tough one for me. I received it in my box of stories and if I'm honest, it was the one I was looking forward to the least as light-hearted romantic books, the impression the cover gives, does not really appeal. That being said, I launched into it and it was...okay. At times I felt that the pacing was a little uneven and the prose was a little clunky so that I found myself having to reread certain parts again to understand what was going on. I liked that the story tackled the challenges of dealing with mental illness in the family and how much stigma is attached even when it comes to the ones we love. Overall, it's not a bad read. Is it one I'd read again? Probably not.
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October 29, 2018Uplifting, funny and poignant.
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