One Strong Girl

by S. Lesley Buxton

One Strong Girl is a mother's vivid account of what it is like to lose her daughter, India, to a rare debilitating disease. The story is a bold description of what it means to deal with deep sorrow and still find balance and beauty in an age steeped in the denial of death. At ten, India climbed the highest on the rope at gymnastics, yet by sixteen was so weak she was unable to even dress herself. The narrative follows the six-year fight for answers from the medical community. Finally, after the genetic testing of India's DNA, it was discovered there were two mutations on her ASAH1 gene, a deadly combination. Today her cells are alive in a research lab at the University of Ottawa. This is a legacy that cuts both ways, a point of pride and pain. One Strong Girl is a story of what it's like to outlive an only child. It describes the intensity of loving a dying child and most importantly, the joy to be found, even amidst the sorrow.

Genres: Memoir

240 pages, Paperback

First published October 31, 2018

Reviews

[Rain Reads · Rating 5 out of 5]

It’s impossible to put into words just how much this book hit me. It entails one of the most harrowing human experiences I’ve read about, and I do not doubt that this story will stay with me for a long time, even after I close its final page.

One Strong Girl is an unfathomably tragic yet beautifully composed memoir by author, actress and mother S. Lesley Buxton. It describes the life and eventual loss of Buxton’s teenage daughter, India Buxton Taylor (or simply India), to a rare debilitating disease known as spinal muscular atrophy with progressive myoclonic epilepsy (SMA-PME). The story centres around the true, unfathomable accounts of the author’s grief as an anguished mother, as she personally describes her daily struggle to maintain a place in society and her mind after such tragedy for months and years on end.

Across its narrative, the book also digs deep into the more deep-rooted issues surrounding grief in society, like its ‘taboo’ and often misunderstood label within our modern ‘anti-grief’ reality and its lack of proper acknowledgement within even the most reliable of institutions like the medical system.

However, despite all such despair, One Strong Girl ties all of this into the touching and uplifting remembrance of India’s livelihood and legacy. She served, and continues to serve, as an undeniable beacon of hope and resilience throughout the difficulties she faced before her untimely death. She also remains a significant contributor to scientific development through the study of her surviving cells in the search for a cure for her disease, helping children worldwide stand firm against the fate she fought so hard against.

I found this book incredibly immersive, in how Buxton intimately recounts her experiences and feelings to the reader and in the richly coloured and almost poetic way she writes. It was so immersive that I nearly didn’t want it to be at times due to how depressing and horrific it would become, like whenever she described India’s worsening conditions because of her disease. Especially the hallucinations she described having about cockroaches coming to get her from her bed… (I couldn’t sleep properly the night after reading that.)

Buxton’s utilization of a highly personal, almost conscience-like, first-person narrative, as well as her employment of various literary devices like imagery, similes, comparisons and allusions to famous works, specifically the ones of Japanese fiction and culture, truly enrichened this book to a deeply profound level of empathic reflection and immersion, as well as, at times, relatability.

Buxton then goes on more about India’s personality and interests, and with each new little fact I learned about her, the more and more I began to identify with her: she loved drawing, I love drawing; she loved singing, I love singing; she was mischievous… well, my mother can say the same for me. Strangely, the more I knew who she was, the more I felt she was there with me. It was as if she was looking over my shoulder as I read the words, smiling back as I smiled along each of her paragraphs. Perhaps that was just me believing we could have been good friends had we been born in the same generation, or maybe it resulted from the author’s incredibly descriptive writing and coincidental interests. Still, either way, that was something I had never experienced before with a piece of non-fiction. It was incredibly moving throughout it all. It was like seeing the ghost of someone else’s reflection, which was somehow also my own… to put it literarily, hah.

I truly applaud the author for being able to open up to her experiences in such an intimate and honest way, from this book to even her blog Fall on Me, Dear, where she expressed herself there as well; that must have taken so much courage, and by doing so, not only could she express her inner pain but also allow for others to do the same with her if they couldn’t in their own lives, regardless of their personal experience. I find that immensely empathic of her, and it just goes to show her strength of character not only as an author but as a mother and a person of integrity.

To conclude, One Strong Girl is a hauntingly beautiful testament to the enduring strength of love, grief, and resilience in the face of unimaginable tragedy. S. Lesley Buxton’s account of India’s life and legacy offers a deeply personal glimpse into her daughter’s remarkable spirit and a profound reflection on universal experiences of loss and healing.

Through Buxton’s poignant storytelling and her thoughtful gestures—like scattering “Indy Dust” through beads of life across Japan and preserving India’s cells for groundbreaking medical research—this memoir reminds us of the enduring light that can emerge from life’s darkest chapters. It also serves as a heartfelt reminder to cherish the people, moments, and privileges we often take for granted. Reading this memoir brought me to tears and instilled a lasting sense of gratitude and awe for life’s fragility and strength.

“Perhaps it will come to represent the woman I was when my daughter was still alive and the woman I’m hoping to become. I’m optimistic. This doesn’t mean letting go of my daughter. It just means carrying her with me.”— Page 222, Chapter 11, One Strong Girl.

*** Reviewer received a free copy of book in exchange for this review.***

[Mindy Laube · Rating 5 out of 5]

A genius work of staggering heartbreak

It's every parent's nightmare: one second an adored, happy, healthy 10-year-old is racing around as fast her lithe legs will take her, the next she's crashing face first into the ground with all the force gravity can muster.

She didn't trip; she didn't faint. She just fell, as though some cruel ghost had whipped the dirt from beneath her feet.

And then it happens again. And again. She has no idea why, onlookers can't explain it, and eventually an entire team of medical specialists will be equally baffled.

As her injuries mount, things start to look very bad. It will take five and half years for science to unravel the mystery of her condition but knowledge is powerless in the face of a disease so rare, India Taylor remains its only victim. Things get worse until they are the very worst.

I'm not giving anything away with this untidy plot summary. The book opens with author Lesley Buxton on a flight to Japan, one of many journeys she'll take in tribute to her deceased only child. While this book is predicated on India's long decline and eventual death at just 16, it's about far more than that. One Strong Girl is also about India's short, brilliant life and her parents' fierce determination to let her live it to the fullest extent possible in increasingly desperate circumstances. It's about surviving unbearable grief. It's about staying gold as your world turns black.

It is also an incredibly gripping read. You know what happens. That's clear from the outset. But you can't stop reading. Because Lesley Buxton has a singular voice: incisive and unaffected in description, measured and matter of fact in narration. This is a work of radical honesty, occasional humour and propulsive story-telling. If your heart has ever been broken, read this book. It will help you heal.

[Cathryn Wellner · Rating 5 out of 5]

S. Lesley Buxton is one strong woman to have written this cry of the heart. For six years, as India's rare disease progressed far beyond what a mother's love can heal, Buxton fought for her daughter's life. And then this jewel of a young woman was gone.

No amount of time can completely heal the deep wounding of watching a beloved child endure the pain and continuing losses of a disease that steal her away. It takes courage to write about it with such aching honesty.

In sharing her story, Lesley invites the reader to bear witness to profound love and grief. All of us, if we have not lost a child ourselves, know someone who has. We stumble over words, unsure how to be present. Trying to offer loving support, we sometimes cause more pain. This is important reading, a book to share widely. In a culture that tends to push conversations about grief and loss to the sidelines and insist on short timelines for "getting over it", One Strong Girl is a wrenching, yet beautiful reminder of the transcendence of parental love and the sanctity of the journey of grief.

[Allison · Rating 5 out of 5]

It seems sort of classless and wrong to even rate this kind of book, but that's the only one that seems appropriate. In this fairly brief but impactful book, Buxton writes eloquently and angrily about a terrible disease that took her daughter way too young and made many years of her life hellish. She doesn't sanctify her daughter - says quite explicitly that she didn't want to mourn a saint, but a living, flawed person - but also depicts beautifully what made her daughter special. She outlines the way this kind of tragedy takes a toll on a couple, the different ways that grief manifests, dealing with the medical system, the ways that people around her stepped up or didn't. There's never any answer or reason with something like this, just someone's story, and it was well told.

[Rhoda Perron · Rating 4 out of 5]

Wow I can't imagine losing your child to such a cruel disease. I felt the parents love, anger, and frustrations about treatments for epilepsy. It's a miracle they stayed together and got through six years of hell. There was alot of sorrow. It's accurate words Surviving the unimaginable. A mother's memoir.

[Prapti · Rating 5 out of 5]

It is an amazing and heart wrenching read. Lesley Buxton has done a miraculous job and you can feel the pain she and her family had to endure. I keep going back to some lines and pause to think about how she felt at the moment.

[Lynne Wright · Rating 5 out of 5]

As compelling and profound as it is heart-wrenching. Incredible story.