Very engaging read; I had a hard time putting it down. Well-drawn characters and complex but mostly clear plot lines. I especially appreciate the author's eschewing reliance on lightspeed and faster-than-light travel and time travel (author establishes this by having the characters actually joke about that stuff being a lot of science-fiction hooey. (I've started the next series, set in the same universe and sharing some characters and backstory, and unfortunately, we're engaging in FTL at almost the very beginning. Ah, well, I've enjoyed numerous SF novels whose plots revolve around such conceits.)
My big problem is with the frequency with which the reader is booted out of the willful suspension of disbelief by simply stupid errors of word usage, grammar and punctuation. You may wonder what's so bad about that. As a professional journalist and writing coach, I found that when the writing is working, readers become temporarily unaware that they are reading. They become absorbed fully in the characters' thoughts, actions, motives and all the sensory information given, so that they are mentally experiencing the plot and char as if the reader were actually inside the world of the story. Its a kind of self-hypnosis that kicks in when the flow of the words is right. It's as if the author's mind is pouring the story directly into the reader's mind.
The problem? I cant remember which writing guru said it, but reading is, after all, a very difficult skill, such that many, many people never learn how to do it. Whenever there's awkward or difficult wording or grammatical, spelling, usage or logical error, the spell is broken and it dumps the reader back into the here and now, suddenly aware again that he or she is working to make sense of all those black squiggles on the white page. That, then, requires the reader to seek absorption once again, and this time with a subtle wariness that it can happen again.
No story is perfect in that regard, but the more often it dumps you out that way, the harder it is to reestablish the mind-to-mind connection.
This book is rife with such errors:for example, a character is "pouring" over documents. Pouring what? Water? Oil? Perfume? The word you're looking for is spelled "poring" (look it up). The book misspells "lightning" (electrical atmospheric discharge) as " lightening" (getting lighter in weight or brightness). "All right" is consistently spelled "alright," which is not a word. (Think of the current phrase, "It's all good," which means the same thing; would you contract that to "It's algood"? There's a difference in meaning between "all ready" and "already," yes? It's because they're different parts of speech.
The author thanks the people who read it for editing, but there's not much to thank them for on this scale. Malapropisms abound, and nobody involved seems to know what a comma is or what it's for, much less the value of a well-placed colon, leaving readers to wonder how to read the sentence. It's a frequent and huge distraction. It's a good thing the plot is engaging, or I would have gotten tired of being dumped out and having to figure out what the author meant and try to get back into the flow.
To the author: Next time - or perhaps before the next printing - get a professional editor to edit your text, if your command of English is no better than this. Joseph Conrad was not even a native English speaker, but he never allowed such errors to creep into his publications. That's one reason his stuff maintains its power. It's a really good story; don't make readers work so hard to get through it. One immutable law of writing: Never get in the reader's way.
Sermon over.