Good Grief: A Companion for Every Loss

by Granger E. Westberg

Timeless wisdom for all who grieve

For more than fifty years Good Grief has helped millions of readers, including NFL players and a former first lady, find comfort and rediscover hope after loss. This classic text includes a foreword by Dr. Timothy Johnson, a leading communicator of medical health care information. An afterword by the author's daughters tells how the book came to be.

Good Grief identifies ten stages of grief--shock, emotion, depression, physical distress, panic, guilt, anger, resistance, hope, and acceptance--but, recognizing that grief is complex and deeply personal, defines no right way to grieve.

Good Grief offers valuable insights on the emotional and physical responses persons may experience during the natural process of grieving. Reflection questions help readers explore their own experience with each stage.

Whether mourning the death of a loved one, the end of a marriage, the loss of a job, or other difficult life changes, Good Grief is a proven steady companion in times of loss.

Genres: Grief, Nonfiction

103 pages, Paperback

Published February 1, 2019

About the author

Westberg, born in Chicago in 1913, received his bachelor's from Augustana College in 1935, and later graduated from Augustana Theological Seminary . He served a short time as a parish pastor then became a full time chaplain at Augustana Hospital in Chicago . After that his writing and career focused on a team approach to health care .

In 1951 Westberg became Chaplain of the University of Chicago Clinics. In 1956 he started a joint appointment in both the Chicago Divinity School and the school of medicine at the University of Chicago.

In 1962 Westberg's interest in the grief process resulted in his writing Good Grief which enjoyed popular success.

Later in 1964 he became Dean of institute of Religion at Texas Med Center in Houston providing a graduate program in pastoral care and counseling through a program for seminaries . Later he would serve as Professor of Medicine and Religion in the Department of Psychiatry of Baylor College of Medicine, and at Hamma School of Theology now Trinity Lutheran Seminary in Ohio.

In Hamma Westberg began what would become the model for a "neighborhood church-based clinic", where physicians, pastoral counselors, nurses, seminarians and medical students and community volunteers provided needed care. He continued this sort of work when in the early 1970s he moved to the University of Illinois at Chicago (UIC), where he worked with a team to create several "wholistic health centers" focused on prevention, whole-person care, and the church as a healing community.

In the mid 1980s at Lutheran General Hospital in Park Ridge, Illinois, with support from a grant from the W. K. Kellogg Foundation, Westberg launched a parish nurse project in which nurses and others in congregations promoted health, prevented illness, and cared for those in need. This approach is now known as "faith community nursing" (FCN) where there is an intentional integration of the practice of faith with the practice of nursing so that people can achieve wholeness in, with, and through the population which faith community nurses serve.

Westberg lived in Willowbrook, Illinois toward the end of his life and died in 1999. By the time of his death in 1999, sales of his popular work, Good Grief, would reach more than 2.4 million copies.

Reviews

[Hannah Owens · Rating 5 out of 5]

Quick read! Highly recommend for those going through grief and those supporting others in grief. Easy to digest.

[Abbie · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book was a short, easy read. It was recommended by my therapist. It wasn’t life changing, but helped me put words to some things I’d felt but couldn’t explain. Instead of leaving a review, I’ll quote some of the portions I found most helpful in considering my own grief:

“Faith plays a major role in grief of any kind. But not in the way some people think. They often seem to have the idea that a person with strong faith does not grieve and is above this sort of thing. Moreover, these people imply that religious faith advocates stoicism. They might even quote the two words from Scripture “Grieve not!” They forget to quote the rest of the phrase in which these two words are found: “Grieve not as those who have no hope” (1 Thessalonians 4:13). (Page 2)

“Inability to concentrate in time of grief is just as natural as it can be. It would be stranger still if we could easily put aside our grief for routine matters. When something has been terribly important to us for a long time and it is taken from us, we cannot help but be constantly drawn to the lost object. And we suffer daily as we struggle with the gradually dawning realization that it is gone forever.” (Page 48)

“We find that when we attempt to get back into life again, it is much too painful. We would rather grieve than fight the battle of coping with new situations. Grieving is painful, but not as painful as having to face entirely new decisions… We are more comfortable in our grief than in the new unpredictable world. We want to stay with the familiar.” (Pages 69-70)

“So we say, “Grieve - not as those who have no hope,” but please, when you have something worth grieving about, go ahead and grieve.” (Page 87)

[Angela Blount · Rating 4 out of 5]

"The awful experience of being utterly depressed and isolated is a universal phenomenon."

A quick, simple read. (It took me less than two hours in an ICU waiting room.)

While I would have liked to see it go a little more into depth--perhaps with a few more poignant and/or personal scenarios--this is ultimately meant as a brief and reassuring reference. There's a bit of faith interspersed, though I wouldn't call it heavy-handed. The author was intending this for other persons of faith, and to dispel some of the unhelpful impressions about grieving often imparted (both within the church and within Western society in general.)

"Every man and every woman, in order to live a rich and meaningful life, must take a turn at being a philosopher, to search for meaning in living."

It's not particularly pretty prose, but it's effective and to the point. Strong, repeated emphasis on grief coming from losses of all kinds and not being easily comparable from one case to another. And whilst explaining each stage of grief, he's careful to note these may not be experienced in a particular order. So much is dependent on the unique processing and background of the individual affected.

"We must remember that no two people are the same, nor are any two grief situations identical."

A worthy resource for those anticipating grief, experiencing it, or attempting to sit with someone who is going through it.

[Rosie Habeger · Rating 4 out of 5]

This has been a wonderful book for me to read with the loss of my dad. It has helped me see that the stages of grief i’m flowing in and out of are normal and that it is all okay. In addition, it has reminded me that I do not grieve as someone who has no hope. It’s lead me back to the feet of Jesus!

[May · Rating 4 out of 5]

A simple and brief explanation of different stages one can face when dealing with loss of any kind. I appreciated the author’s straightforward take on each stage and his use of anecdotes as well as scripture. I liked that it wasn’t a complex treatment on the subject, but rather helpful and full of great reminders that each stage is part of the normal process of grieving.

[Emma Hinkle · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was a short little pamphlet that discussed grief from a Christian perspective and various phases you can expect to walk through. It was to the point, but nothing groundbreaking.

[Catherine Stover · Rating 5 out of 5]

Quote from book: “For all of us, the biggest hurdle is accepting it emotionally.”

A review of “Good Grief: A Companion for Every Loss” in 100 words by Catherine Stover

As someone who recently experienced a great loss, I can tell you there is a difference between receiving instruction and experiencing companionship. I prefer the second. Instead of being given a script or told how to grieve, I would rather see an account of the changes that come with loss from someone who has been there, who writes about what “we” feel rather than what “you” should feel. This book, first published in 1962, is written by a hospital chaplain who believes that people who wrestle honestly and openly with difficult feelings can come through the grieving process stronger than before.

Westberg, Granger E. Good Grief: A Companion for Every Loss. Fortress Press, updated 2019 edition, p. 16.

My 100-word reviews can also be found on https://www.catherinestover.com/

[Lydia Arnold · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was recommended to me and I will share it with others. “The melody that the loved one played upon the piano of your life will never be played quite that way again, but we must not let close the keyboard and allow the instrument to gather dust.” Grief cannot be spoken about enough and this book highlights the many kinds of grief in life. Why don’t we wear black anymore when in mourning? This book is re-normalizing grief in society. I loved the example of the thousands of listeners tuning into a grief sermon compared to other subjects - in my profession I planned educational programs on grief and received the same response, when other topics didn’t. People are desperate to learn about grief and to have the intense emotions and stages that come with it normalized.

[Ashley Galo · Rating 5 out of 5]

Not many pages I didn’t highlight, underline or write in margins and on blank pages. Highly recommend this book to everyone. You will eventually have grief in your life or know someone who does. It’s so encouraging and gives us hope through our faith that we are different through grief. It gives permission and that thoughts you think are crazy are so normal. I learned so much about my grief journey and how I can see small rays of light shinning through of hope. Its that constant struggle of the reality but affirming our new reality in Christ is my goal.

[Tara Tetzlaff · Rating 4 out of 5]

Really the only reason for 4 stars instead of five is due to some of the dated examples (the depressed housewife of the business man, the pastor always being male, etc)….beyond those quibbles, which undoubtedly stem from the time in which the book was conceived (1960s), Good Grief is a fantastically accessible yet astute look at not just acute grief but the “everyday grief” that comes from disappointment and/or change.

[Wesley Roth · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a much needed and helpful resource for those in ministry coming alongside those in the church body working through grief. Excellent summaries of the stages of grief and what the counselor/pastor/minister can listen for in order to better help with another's grief. Helpful Bible verses at the beginning of each chapter as well.

[Tammy J Doyle · Rating 5 out of 5]

Very Informative

This book has simple, concise and practical instructions to apply in your grief journey. Easy to read and understand why you are feeling the way you do with reassurance that you aren’t crazy. Work your way through each stage and love yourself for surviving grief.

[Dawn M Grathwol · Rating 5 out of 5]

Great Wisdom and So Helpful

This book made so much sense as to what stages we go through of grief and helped explain what is and is not healthy. So thankful for this gem and I will definitely share with others!

[Meghan Bruns]

A quick read that helped me put a name to some of the feelings I’ve had these past few weeks, after the loss of my grandma. It was good to read about ten different stages of grief you ebb and flow through, to be able to connect with some of them and be prepared when I head into another.

[Roger Bryan Van Pelt · Rating 4 out of 5]

Overall the book was fine. It offered thoughtful conversation with a grieving person and highlighted Scriptural truths that speak to the struggles they make. I recommend it for someone who is grieving.

[Michelle Miller · Rating 5 out of 5]

One of the best, most concisely written self-help books I have ever read. It helped me to understand just how many things there are to grieve in life. There are many valuable excises and skills to extract from this tiny, wonderful book.

[Chiarra Banque welsh · Rating 5 out of 5]

What a remarkable, honest and concise book to have during this difficult time. I am thankful for clearing my already confused numb mind as I traverse grief. It made me hopeful.

[Linda Bullwinkle · Rating 5 out of 5]

An excellent short read for anyone experiencing any grief. I give as a gift.

[Julie]

Somewhat helpful. Religious neutral, I think.

[Julie Crooks · Rating 5 out of 5]

A great pathway to understanding grief and tools to help move forward from any type of loss. A gift to read through each stage of the grieving process.

[Kendall Fountain · Rating 4 out of 5]

A very brief exploration of grief through a Christian lens, I imagine it’s helpful for people in the midst of their grief when they don’t have much energy to give.

[osoordinary · Rating 3 out of 5]

2.5 stars

[Lacey Luckhaupt · Rating 5 out of 5]

Great short read. Very relatable and helpful to anyone struggling with grief.

[Hannah Harris-Nahley · Rating 5 out of 5]

Highly recommend this for anyone experiencing any sort of grief over anything - a loved one, a pet, a lost job. This can help you recognize the grief and equip you to help others too.

[sam k · Rating 4 out of 5]

clear, short, straightforward, and easy to read. great guide to working through grief

[Tatum Shelton · Rating 5 out of 5]

Incredible. Such an eye-opening read to the experience of grief. Also, helped me understand the phases of grief and how to lean on the Lord in those times.

[Peter Jalilie · Rating 4 out of 5]

A good grief devotional

Short, on point, solid insight, good but not great, yet in its simplicity it can be very helpful to the grieving soul!

[Summer · Rating 3 out of 5]

I thought this would be more spiritual, more direct, but I felt it was lacking something worthwhile. It didn't have enough substance to gain anything from reading it.

[Jill Marie · Rating 5 out of 5]

Easy to read and very helpful in dealing with the stages of grief when a loved one is lost.