Interracial Relationships Between Black Women and White Men contains vignettes on the lives of black women who are dating, married to, or divorced from white men. Black women and white men in interracial relationships were interviewed between 2014 and 2017 to learn how they met and how their relationships progressed. These forty interviews offer thought-provoking insights on the lives of those willing to cross the racial divide in pursuit of personal happiness.
I am a white 60+year old woman, not in the dating scene or looking for the "right" man to marry. I wouldn't fit the description of the target reader to pick up this book in the store, but I honestly couldn't put it down once I started reading. Living in a racially and economically diverse university town, it really spoke to me. I personally know young women who are in the same predicament as the subjects Dr. Judice interviews in her fascinating study...looking for a suitable partner with whom to share their lives but not finding him in her immediate circle of friends and/or acquaintances. Do not confuse Interracial Relationships Between Black Women & White Men as your everyday "advice" book. Dr. Judice backs up her findings with case studies and statistics that might surprise you. She does not advise anything, only to consider the facts. On a personal note, I believe more interracial dating, marriage, and children will change our divisive world one day. That might be why I was drawn to this title. For those women (and white men), curious about and open to interracial relationships, this book will give them the facts to back up their choice to date outside their race with a feeling of hope and confidence.
As a young Black Woman reading this book, I feel it is a work of love. Dr. Judice's academic dedication to the sociology statistics for Black Women's relationships is ahead of its time. This book has 40 well-done interviews from a range of couples. Very insightful to see how and why the relationships between Black Women and White Men thrived and flourished, or why they didn't work out. The most interesting aspects of this book where the real-life experiences shared in the interviews. I thoroughly enjoyed reading the details of the interactions between the couples and their families. Each person's values shined through to reflect how important character is and how little race mattered long term. That was the most eye-opening to me. I'm grateful Dr. Cheryl Judice wrote this book to educate us. Thank you!
It's about time someone has taken on the topic of encouraging black women to be open to dating or marrying men from all racial backgrounds. Dr. Judice had taken an in depth look, provided a well researched analysis and written with true understanding and sympathy on this complex topic. The stories shared provide views and perspectives from many with first-hand experience.
I would highly recommend this book to everyone and particularly to black women in the dating market.
What a wonderful read! I purchased this book for both professional and personal reasons. I am a clinical social worker and have worked with interracial couples as well as biracial children. I also have a number of friends who are in interracial relationships, although the majority of these involve white women who are coupled with black men. The data included in the book about the stability of marriages between black women and white men compared to all-white couples or marriages between black men and white women was quite astounding. The interviews included in the book are very engaging. I read it in two days and simply did not want to put it down. The way Dr. Judice organized the book makes it very easy to read. I look forward to her next book!
This book is very well written with a warm yet professional style that melds interesting and insightful ideas within the lives of real people. It provides a clear view in an area that is rarely researched or discussed. You will learn some important and helpful ideas and the thoughts that are underneath this are very life affirming. I highly recommend this book by Ms. Judice. Rosemary Mauck
This is a great book for all couples to read. It’s a series of interviews on why Black women and White men date, marry, and or divorce.
As a woman who has always dated outside of her race, this book completely hits home. I could relate on so many levels. What I’ve found is Black Women who date White men and vice versa do love one another. They actually enjoy each other’s company deeper than just a physical attraction.
I would’ve given it a 5, but I wanted more information on how dinners were held, how did the couples handle inheritance? Who cooked, who cleaned? How were finances done? This is one that comes up because obviously Blacks get very little inheritance.
Here’s a quote from a woman in the book after the first time she made love to a white man, “For the first time in my life, I felt like this was someone who wanted me and no one else... no strings attached. I can just relax and love him back.” Page 61.
This was my experience as well. White men seem to be complete givers in the bedroom.
My experience with Black men has been very much the same, slow to commit, made it known that they had many other options, and if they were a good catch.... one man even said he knew he was the “cream of the crop.” Lots of arrogance. When you’re like this outside of the bedroom, intimacy is difficult and it reflects in the bedroom.
Not all Black men are this way, however Black Women should not be required to date a Black man. Black Women should know that you need to date and marry someone who compliments and builds with you. As we speak right now, my boyfriend is cooking us breakfast. Yes he’s white.
It all starts with self love. Love yourself Black Women, we age backwards. I am light skinned and I now have locs. My black boyfriends hated “nappy hair”
So much insight on a touchy and unexplored subject. I stumbled on this book out of curiosity, not realizing how much information it held. The author did a great job at putting together the interviewees responses without making it seem like a long boring questionnaire. The introduction on statistics about black women in relationships was enlightening, and I thoroughly enjoyed reading about the couple’s experiences.
Best line (insight) in the book from the author: “Indeed, the people I met were simply ordinary individuals who happened to meet and form bonds which were stronger than any external force to keep them apart.”
Topics about race in the twenty-first century, primarily in America, are pretty sensitive. Getting into the subject of interracial relationships, even more so. That's why I appreciate Cheryl Y. Judice for addressing this potentially uncomfortable topic. I do not think that this book nailed the landing, but I think it was a good read for an individual who is happily involved with a black woman.
The research is highly anecdotal, so it ought to be taken with several grains of salt. The book, nonetheless, traverses strong ground, providing a platform for more substantial sociological research. I want to see more research done on this topic because I do not feel as though I have gotten the full picture of what interracial couples face in America.
I do not know if this book will achieve the task it has set out to do (encourage interracial relationships). I know, at the very least, that it has me determined to find out the facts and to stay informed. Despite the good intentions behind it, I feel as though the book could have broadened its scope to more than just heterosexual monogamous relationships. I think it might have benefited from different sexual orientations, an analysis of sexual in addition to the romantic relationships covered, and different types of areas in the United States.
As a final word, I think the author absolutely accomplished what she set out to do: write a book on interracial relationships, specifically between black women and white men, endeavoring to suggest more interracial comingling between the two sexes. And I can't fault it too much for that. All I wish was that there was more meat to its bones. That it kept a more professional style and tone. And that it could be more trusted than it is. For the moment, I consider it a useful jumping-off point. But it is nothing more than that.
A study that didn’t exactly tell me anything new as a Black (bisexual) fem who is already open to dating whoever and had experienced first hand how difficult it can be dealing with Black men. But it was genuinely interesting to see that it isn’t just some BS after hearing Black male friends run off at the mouth defending themselves when they either go after only light skin women (not a disadvantage for me as I’m rather light, but more so a big red flag) or Latinas and Asian women. I hope the successful relationships described in this book are still thriving or that they ended on good terms. I would say that there were some red flags in some of the women and men’s stories that I wish Cheryl discussed (i.e. more in depth on fetishization and some of the antiblack rhetoric from some of the Black women).
As a sociology major, I focused too much on the research process and her research was not thorough, didn’t seem to be representative of the population (focusing on one area, small sample size, convenient sampling). Some of her interview questions throughout the book were biased, which could influence the interviewee to answer in the way she wanted them to answer. Her research methods (outside of the interview questions) weren’t mentioned and the implications and limitations of her study weren’t mentioned, either… even though there clearly were limitations. I don’t know, it just didn’t seem like this study was conducted in the best way and I’m not sure if the conclusions she drew could even be applied to anyone outside of the study…
As a 30 year old black woman, I was happy to read about the experiences of black women in interracial relationships. I haven't found any other research on this topic. The interviews were well written, interesting and in some cases, mind-opening. Even though I am married to a black man, I have several friends who are trying to find husbands. I have recommended they read this book so they can consider all options.
I really appreciate the statistics that are stated within the book. It's an easy read and what I liked most about it are the honest (hopefully, lol) personal accounts via participant interviews. I received this book as a gift from my aunt in Chicago and I'm glad that I finally got a chance to read it. Oh yeah, because I learned the author published a book before this one, I'm looking to read it as well.
The stories in this book are moving, it is especially noteworthy that they (the stories) are coming directly from he lived experiences of Black Women and White Men. I found myself reading and reflecting about past occurrences and have deeper insights of what it means to date interracially.
Thank you Cheryl for writing this book. You’ve done a terrific job!
Fascinating data. I wish there was a little bit more of the 'raw' data of the interviewees, but I understand the author's choice in summarizing and paraphrasing for clarity, space, and the privacy of those spoken to. Still, we get the interviewers packaging- which does appear to be expertly done, with an honest declaration of the methods and its understood limitations and scope. With such matters, it's important to stress what you're NOT trying to do, to draw that boundary around what you are.
For the stories themselves, the thoroughness of going through both young and old, stable and broken relationships give a pretty rounded variety. As a white man, I found the author's attention to include a few dedicated interviews of the men a nice inclusion.
Overall the book was very enlightening: what kind of things were challenges (often), and which were not. It was definitely broadening to see the effects of race and bias, but also how much those things became backdrops rather than centerpieces. Money, beliefs, sexual compatibility, children, all show up as more central- and in that those the roles could swap. There are of course many stories where the black woman comes from the poorer background, but not irregular the man is - and the dynamic of finances is reversed.
It was uplifting to see that largely, the relationships that lasted were ones where both parties saw the differences but spoke and listened. Focused on each other and what they wanted, and not fixating on what their families or societies thought, or demanded.