Unlearning God: How Unbelieving Helped Me Believe

by Philip Gulley

America's favorite Quaker storyteller explores the terrain of faith and doubt as shaped by family, church, and young love, finding his way to a less convenient but fully formed adult spirituality.Most of us grow up taking in whole belief systems with our mother's milk, only to discover later that what we received as being certain is actually nothing like it. And then we're faced with a choice--retreat to spiritual security and the community that comes with it, or strike out into the unknown.     With his trademark humor and down-home wisdom, Philip Gulley serves as just the spiritual director a wayward pilgrim could warm to, inviting readers into his own sometimes rollicking, sometimes daunting journey of spiritual discovery. He writes about being raised by a Catholic mother and a Baptist father across the street from a family of Jehovah's Witnesses--all three camps convinced the others are doomed. To nearly everyone's consternation, Philip grows up to be a Quaker and a pastor. In Unlearning God, Gulley showcases his well-loved gift as a storyteller and his acute sensibilities as a public theologian in conversations that will charm, provoke, encourage, and inspire.

Genres: Religion, Nonfiction, Spirituality

202 pages, Kindle Edition

Published September 25, 2018

About the author

Philip Gulley has become the voice of small-town American life. Along with writing Front Porch Tales, Hometown Tales, and For Everything a Season, Gulley is the author of the Harmony series of novels, as well as If Grace Is True and If God Is Love, which are coauthored with James Mulholland.

He hosts "Porch Talk with Phil Gulley" on the Indiana PBS affiliate WFYI television's flagship show Across Indiana.

Gulley lives in Indiana with his wife, Joan, and their sons, Spencer and Sam—in a rambling old house with Gulley’s eclectic chair collection (64 at last count) and a welcoming back porch.

Gulley is also the Pastor at Fairfield Friends Meeting House in Camby, Indiana. If you find yourself in Camby, you're invited to attend a sermon.

Reviews

[Jeremy · Rating 3 out of 5]

I love me some Philip Gulley and this book is no exception. This work is more autobiographical in nature, taking us through the author’s faith journey, from growing up Catholic (but with a Baptist father who was sure to rot in hell), to becoming a Quaker, to eventually abandoning his belief in Hell.

Gulley is a good storyteller and he includes plenty of fun anecdotes to make his points. Not all people will agree with him and some will be offended at his ideas, especially fundamentalists. He is certainly, undeniably a heretic; the God he believes in is bigger than religion and reveals himself whenever love and compassion are present.

There are other books I’d recommend to someone new to Gulley, such as “If Grace is True” and “If the Church Were Christian,” but this one is a nice and easy read, written by someone reflecting back on a life full of spiritual growth.

[Eugene · Rating 4 out of 5]

Spoiler ALERT - he's not recycling conservative Evangelical ideas and presenting them in new wrapping paper. He actually doesn't claim to be Evangelical or even really a Christian, so I'm not sure what all the fuss is about with folks writing one star reviews of this book disappointed that a minister of a liberal progressive faith community is in fact not championing the 5 Solas of the Protestant reformation (gasp!).

In Unlearning God, Philip Gulley does a good job of unpacking many time honored beliefs about God and exposing the many problems with them. What's more is he does this in a way that combines theological scrutiny with personal experience from his life and bouts with different versions of conservative christianity and how each claimed to hold the absolute truth. He discusses theology, but then he backs up those arguments with real life personal examples which makes it easier for the average reader to understand.

On the down side, Unlearning God lacks some of the perspective of younger authors in the growing Ex-vangelical movement who have more of a background in contemporary Evangelical churches. But what he lacks in that arena he more than makes up for in wisdom and a calm demeanor that seems to carry throughout the book. His main premise - that spirituality and communities of faith must evolve with the increasing knowledge and understanding of life, humanity and the universe is well supported throughout. His main line of reasoning is to criticize the underlying ideas of fundamentalism such as infallibility and the suppression of critical thinking.

His concept of God is not easy to follow at first. While it's clear that he is not conservative or Evangelical early on, it's hard to determine whether he believes God is personal or impersonal. Finally towards the end, Gulley does explain his views on God being something of an "inner light", in step with his beliefs in liberal Quakerism. He writes:

"This God of Inward Light is as real to me as my own children. It empowers me to be a better person than I sometimes want to be. And not just me but many people I know, people who forgive though they have been dramatically wronged. More times than I can count, I have seen this Light overcome the darkness of retribution. That, to me, is just as much a marvel as any landscape."

Gulley appears to view God not as the authoritarian, often narcissistic patriarchal monarch revered by modern Evangelicalism, but instead as a power that's light years ahead of us and that we are only understanding little by little as we grow and progress as a society. While he makes a good case for this vision of spirituality, it is a bit confusing how he continuously refers to God as "she". Not that I have a problem with that, but the reasoning for this is never revealed in the book, so it gets a bit confusing as to why he uses personal pronouns to refer to God if, as I understand from the rest of his views expressed here, God is more of an impersonal force or "inner light."

But at any rate, the pros far outweigh the cons. Unlearning God succeeds in explaining complex questions about God in a way for the average layperson to easily understand it. This is a good read for those who are looking for answers and have become disillusioned with modern day Evangelicalism. Well done.

[Heather · Rating 3 out of 5]

Not what I was hoping for

I was hoping that this guy would actually tell the story of how he lost his faith in God, then ultimately found it again in a new way. Instead, I got a series of mildly amusing vignettes about his childhood and then a bunch of very strong opinions about what’s wrong with most Christianity. I actually generally agreed with him in most of his opinions, but that didn’t really change the fact that the book mostly seemed to be a combination sneering, snide jabs at most Christians and fairly harsh judgment toward them. Not at all a story of a true spiritual journey, as I had hoped.

[Ruth Chatlien · Rating 4 out of 5]

Most of the ideas in this book weren’t new to me; instead, it served as reassurance that my current phase of asking questions is an acceptable thing to do.

[Beau · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is the first Philip Gulley book I have read, but I don't think it will be the last. The entire time I was reading the book, I kept highlighting and screenshotting bits to share with my friends & discussing it with them. Although, sometimes I was just sharing a bit of a paragraph or two which I thought was especially funny. This is something that really struck me about this book, it was consistently funny and lighthearted about subjects which could have easily been heavy, boring, and slow.

I am leaving this book with a very weird mixture of feeling as if I were validating but challenged throughout this whole book. There was no real direct challenge from my perspective, I never felt like Gulley was telling me, "Hey you, yeah YOU, need to sit down and reexamine your whole outlook on each of these subjects" but nonetheless he has inspired me to do so. Even on the topics, I felt myself agreeing with I wanted to examine more closely.

I grew up in the Bible Belt as a queer kid who was out fairly young - about 14. My parents never emphasized the importance of going to church, they were very let and let live about religion. However, there were many adults (generally the parents of my friends and peers) who took it upon themselves to save my heathen soul. This experience took me to all sorts of different churches (although no Catholic ones, even though I totally had Catholic friends, I think their parents wrote me off) & during all these visits there was this underlying sameness.

I was to sit there for a few hours and listen. I was not to question the man speak - and it was always a man - as that was basically the same as questioning God and that was absolutely unacceptable, and I was to obey the things this man said because, well I don't know why. I wasn't allowed to question that either. This did not sit well with me (I blame early exposure to Green Day and overly permissive parenting).

Now, this + harassment by overly zealous teens probably should turned me away from religion, but I'm hardheaded. So, I quit attending these churches but continued studying religion in college where finally I was allowed to ask questions but even then the material was dry. Boring. Longwinded, much like this review.

So, coming across this book that not only details the author's journey of questioning things taught to him by churches and random people he encountered but encouraging the reader to as well has been such an unbelievable breath of fresh air. I left this book feeling like questioning the things I've been taught about religion isn't heresy but rather an exercise in strengthening my spirituality.

[Kristi · Rating 5 out of 5]

Really fascinating. I think I can embrace Gulley's view of Christianity. After growing up very religious, I had some unfortunate encounters with preachers and "good Christian people." I also continue to struggle with the fact that evangelicals have overlooked all the bad things Trump does and still support him. This book argues that Christianity as a religion must evolve to fit the times. I think I can embrace Gulley's view of Christianity.

[Emily]

I haven’t read enough to rate it, but I was turned off in chapter 2 by how flippant he was about Catholics. I’m not Catholic, but my husband is, and the author’s attitude made me sad.

[Mary · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved this book from the beginning, but thought it would be a 4-star read. Upon finishing, I knew it was 5 stars. Written with humor, compassion and wisdom. Also, common-sense, to my way of thinking. Highly recommended.

[Terris · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book helped me so much! It was just what I needed right now. And Philip Gulley has such a way with words, adding humor into a subject that could be contentious, keeps things light but ends up really making a person think!

I highly recommend this one -- unfortunately, I'm sure it's not for everyone --
but perfect for me at this time in my life and my spiritual journey :)

[Angela Hursh · Rating 5 out of 5]

Pastor Gulley eloquently articulated so much of what I've been wrestling with for the past few years, but was unable to adequately put into words. His chapter on the emphasis of infallibility of Christian thought and strict adherence to Biblical scripture actually leads us away from a true understanding of the unending fullness of God's mercy and grace was so profound that I read it twice. I also connected to the chapter on the Trinity, a staple of my Methodist teaching, and why it's limiting and why it tends to lead Christians to view themselves as superior to other religious followers. Gulley also deftly weaves our Christian understand of truth into the current state of politics, and how society's search for simple answers and solutions to complex problems is rooted in Christianity. For my Methodist friends, Gulley apparently wrote this book while the controversial traditional same-sex policy vote was happening, and he addresses it directly. He talks about the phrase I heard from some in my denomination who supported the traditional view: "Hate the sin but love the sinner" and how that seemingly magnanimous approach is actually as far from discipleship as one can be. And he addressed the exclusion of science from the church's teachings, asking why we are still teaching our children about creationism when clearly we have scientific evidence that is not how the world was created... while asserting that science is the most profound and glorious evidence of God's power and love for creation. If you are on the struggle bus as I have been, this book is a must-read.

[Cynthia · Rating 3 out of 5]

I loved Gulley's book, "If the Church Were Christian." This new book I found provocative but not particularly helpful. Gulley, at age fifty-something, re-examines his entire life of faith and what he believed and now (mostly) doesn't believe.

Many of his criticisms of the institutional church are valid, and I hope clergy will heed them. Gulley strongly upholds the spirituality of the laity, which I appreciate. The first half of the book gives the reader a lot to think about, discuss, and hopefully use to make meaningful changes in faith communities. However, by the end of the book, I began to see the book as one long rant. By the latter chapters, Gulley refutes the divinity of Jesus, trinitarian theology, and just about all the basics tenets of the Christian faith. It appears that the only part of Christianity he still values is that of "community." I didn't get an iota of inspiration from the end of the book or any reason to further grow in faith.

Though I would have highly recommended the first half of the book, the latter part of the book comes off as depressing. Gulley tears a lot down, but he doesn't particularly build anything up. I'll give this book 2 and a half stars, rounding up for excellent writing and an engaging style for most of the book.

[Heather · Rating 5 out of 5]

This works for me, now a non-attender.

As I struggle with the messiness of organized Christian religious groups, I still adhere to a hope for and belief in a creator and/or greater power (no capital letters there till I meet that unknown, fictional-for-now entity.)

So easy and enjoyable to read. Philip Gulley provides a breakdown and breaking down of bible stories and religious folk tales. So much fun to contemplate. His personal life tales are written with insight and humor. Very entertaining. I admit I did skip reading some of the overly-explained theology where included.

The unlearning parts were great, and I will have to read again the ending where he gives his current views and understanding of who/what God is for him. His writings are always helpful for me to enjoy religious education, and I love the fact they would be abhorrent to so many judgmental “Christians.”

[Karla Cook · Rating 3 out of 5]

Having enjoyed Philip Gulley's Harmony series and some of his other books I was interested to read Unlearning God. It really wasn't at all what I was expecting. The author wrestles with some very tough questions and shares about his faith journey, along with the conclusions he has reached (or not reached, as the case may be). He admits that he has changed his mind about a lot of things over the years, and I respect anyone's right to do that... but it must be especially hard to declare something as an author, then come back years later and say, "Oh, I have changed my mind. I don't still believe that." I mostly do NOT agree with the conclusions he has come to, but I did enjoy the book. He has a very engaging writing style and I found it interesting.

[Janette Kelln · Rating 1 out of 5]

One small word

I have chosen to give this book by Phillip Gulley a single star for his use of She when speaking of God. Inclusive language is certainly in vogue at the moment but for Phillip Gulley to be reduced to using it in this book causes me to think he is trying too hard to be cool. God is God not he, she or it, and consequently his use of the word She was simply an irritant which, in my mind, took away from the rather startlingly message he is trying to get across. I have followed Phillip Gulley for many years reading every book he has written. I found this volume to be quite a departure from his usual rhetoric but think, if nothing else, he has given me much to chew on — as a seeker myself that is a good thing.

[Kevin Luoma · Rating 2 out of 5]

While I wholeheartedly agree with the notion that “religion”, legalism, and the “turn or burn” message of many Christians has hindered the Church’s ministry over the years and done much harm, I do take issue with the author’s view of the Bible and his own interpretations. If the Bible is not the inerrant and infallible Word of God, then what is it? Some good stories and a set of guidelines written by men that we can follow and believe if we want, but if they don’t suit us we think and do as we wish? That places the authority on man, and self worship ensues. Essentially the Bible just gets re-written as we as humans see fit, so in reality the only truth that exists is made up by imperfect humans. Your faith is in man, not God.

[Roger Smitter · Rating 5 out of 5]

Gulley challenges Christians to investigate their faith and, more importantly, their actions in a new and powerful language. Many churches and pastors may reject his goals, his writing and his challenges to church goers. I may not align with his interpretation of what we know and believe what Jssus said and did on earth. The book will make most of us Christians to think hard about our role in society. In the hands of wide-thinking believes, the book can launch changes in the church and the community.

[Nancy · Rating 5 out of 5]

Without a doubt 5+ stars - I would give it 10 if I could. Philip Gulley has put down in to words exactly where I have landed in my own faith journey with regards to belief in God, scripture, and religion. I will buy this book and mark it up like crazy.

[Roxie · Rating 5 out of 5]

An open mind about God required here

This book is balm for the church-scorched soul. For those of us certain there’s more to God than we’ve been lead to believe...

[Lesa Beach · Rating 2 out of 5]

Over the past few years, I've been reading other's thoughts on God and religion. In the past 9 years, I've attended 2 different churches and found them both to be wanting. One church had monthly visits from the "head church" encouraging everyone to "Tithe your 10%! " and wasn't really averse to welcoming newcomers but was enthusiastic about telling them what to do and how to do it. No, we don't need anyone else on the committees and what would you know about it anyway? Or my favorite, a binder with rules on everything including how to set up the tables for a jumble sale. It had to be set up a certain way. The second church much smaller, a group of old friends who were too tired to make new ones. A couple of them very nice, a couple not nice at all. Both churches have commonalities- the ones that contribute the most money get to make all the decisions. It's THEIR church. And their "Mature in Christ" status, a very obscure concept to one that's watching and listening to them talk and act.
So there are points made in this book that I very much agree with. God is love and I do believe that this being the case, He will save all His children. If deeds don't guarantee you then misdeeds don't disqualify you. There's other points that I can agree with, but spirituality is a very personal thing. We each have our own relationship.
But then- it went downhill. The book became a political argument with the author taking a very liberal slant. Calling God "her" which made me laugh because I didn't think of God as having a sex, exactly. And I guess God would be Goddess if female, so there's that, although people are having a problem with that these days. His "Why it Matters" could have just made an argument that we agree to not harass or harm people that we don't like or that are different from us in some way. He might have pointed out that inside we are very much alike, that we want a good life, in spite of our differences. His welcoming of immigrants- which most of us do, the legal way- is rather shortsighted. He's not putting a lot of thought into this, from the current perspective or down the road. That was one thing that came out of this book, for me. We may have to love people from afar. We don't have enough psycho-social resources for the people that live here now.
And when it seemed that he couldn't possibly judge people any more harshly- although he does admit he has a problem with that, and arrogance- he comes out with his TDS. This book was written during the 1st term, so I can't imagine what this last term has done for our author or his professed love for others. Another case of practice what you preach, why don't ya?
His other books were wonderful short stories about interactions he'd had with others, but I gave this book 2 stars for the story of his search for God and his inclusively liberal hit piece.

[Robin L. Vahle · Rating 5 out of 5]

A fascinating read. Grateful for the author's humor about subjects of faith and creed. I am convinced our loving God has a sense of humor as well. There were a number of subjects where my personal belief system was in sync with the author's. There were a few where I found his discussion interesting and illuminating yet at the end of the discussion I was still comfortable with my own faith position and was not persuaded to change. I do agree that it is too easy to stake out a position on the myriad facets of faith and worship and never change or perhaps more importantly never think about faith again. Grateful for a book that makes me think but does not tell me what I must think. An interesting read during an extraordinary time as we practice physical and inevitably social distancing. I am reminded how very much the communities with whom I have worshipped have helped to shape my spiritual growth, my faith, my sense of ethics, my commitments. I am grateful.

[Jane · Rating 4 out of 5]

I have heard Philip Gulley speak a couple of times and I've read his fiction books (Harmony series), but this is the first of his nonfiction I have read, it won't be the last! His writing is clear and humorous even when making serious points. He was raised by a Catholic mother and a Baptist father and as a child accepted all that his parents and his priest had to say about God. He learned that God is an angry and punishing figure, God doesn't think women can lead a church, God had his life all planned out, God likes Americans best, and lots of other things that Gulley came to question and eventually "unlearn".
I highly recommend this book. It is good to remain curious and question our attitudes and beliefs from time to time.

[Angie Kennedy · Rating 1 out of 5]

I requested this item through ILL on the wrong cataloging record...it's not the book I'd originally wanted, but I thought I would give it a shot. This book was not for me. The subtitle is misleading to me, because I'm not 100% convinced the author believes in much of anything. I will admit I had to Google Quaker beliefs and am still confused on the finer points of their theology, but the author's writing is not orthodox with a small or capital O. The only thing I could agree with him (mostly) on was chapter 8 "God is everywhere, but mostly in America" because I am deeply concerned with how America ('Murica?) has become some folks' religion. I do not worship America and am lukewarmly patriotic at best. This book was disappointing, but I finished it. Meh.

[Shirley Freeman]

Well I loved this book but then I love most everything Philip Gulley writes. This one was the catalyst for some great discussions in our group. The chapters are short and accessible but also thoughtful. Gulley takes a point of religion that he learned as a child, say 'all non-Catholics will go to hell', and describes how he came to 'unlearn' that belief... with his tongue-in-cheek sense of humor fully engaged of course. As the chapters progress, he moves closer to what he does believe and the last chapter is the capstone. I liked it very much because he articulates many of my own thoughts much better than I ever could. Highly recommend for people who are thinking and searching for a belief system that makes sense.

[Gary Lindsay · Rating 5 out of 5]

In short chapters and with a lot of humor the author discusses a number of things that he needed to unlearn in order to see the true nature of God. I spent a long time with the book, not because it was slow-going, but because it was the focus of our weekly spiritual formation meetings. We read one 10-15 page chapter, highlighted ideas we wanted to discuss, and then shared those in our weekly meetings on Zoom. I especially recommend this book to those who haven't done a lot of thinking on God, or those who have thought a lot and God doesn't make much sense for them. The book is really about what many get wrong (in his opinion) about God and religion, and these untruths are things that keep them from believing.

[Sierra · Rating 3 out of 5]

Read With An Open Mind and A Firm Foundation

Overall, this book was pretty good, discussing certain topics that Christians deal with on a daily basis. It asks the hard question and the author brings his ideas to life in a clear manner.

The author has many good points here in this book, although I disagree with a lot of what he wrote about. I did try to keep and open mind, as the ideas were interesting to think about. I wouldn't recommend this to someone who doesn't have a foundation of what they believe, as it may bring more questions than answers. That may or may not be a good or bad thing, but this book is one perspective of many.

[Kathleen Kelly · Rating 4 out of 5]

Lots of good points about not being threatened by change but being open to it. The main thing I got out of it is God is not stagnant. Injustices have always been. We need to be aware of this and not be guilty of promoting it. I do not agree with all of his points but find that ok. I read the book in just over a day. I’m glad I did not put it aside because of my not agreeing 100%. I found more things I agreed with and opened my mind to new ideas. I’d recommend this book, but read with an open mind and embrace differences.

[Linda · Rating 4 out of 5]

Gulley depicts his spiritual journey from small-town Indiana to small-town Indiana. He's changed, he's not the boy his parents raised. He's not going to win any contests for the most politically correct language but his voice is authentic, warts and all.

At his best, he shows the power of critical thinking combined with introspection and how a close reading of the Bible changed the narrative of his youth. His God has transformed from wrathful and guilt-inducing to a God of love and compassion.

Recommended for travelers on faith's journey.

[Lisa · Rating 5 out of 5]

I have read this twice, and I hardly ever do that! It’s really helpful in putting into words what’s important to hold onto about Christianity, and what’s important to let go of, at least for me. Everyone who has grown up with the Christian Faith should read this book, and probably those who haven’t would benefit too, because they would better understand those of us who have and why we can’t quite let go of the best of what the church is.

[Adam · Rating 5 out of 5]

An advanced reading copy was sent to my Quaker meeting. I didn't expect great things. I read one other book of the author's that provided interesting trivia but not profound insight. And this was supposed to be humor. I have never read a humor book that was funny. But this is the guy I want sitting next to me during a church service, when bored, we could make snarky comments to each other.

[Doreen Lamar · Rating 5 out of 5]

Found it quite intersting and at times humorous. As a catholic I was really interested in what he said about the way I was brought up to believe the churches teachings. It gave me a lot to think about. This was used in a book group I belonged to and did the discussions ever get interesting. Glad I read it.