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Rethinking Sexuality: God's Design and Why It Matters
This ground-breaking resource challenges and equips Christians to think and act biblically and compassionately in matters of sexuality.Sexual abuse, sex addiction, gender confusion, brokenness, and shame plague today's world, and people are seeking clarity and hope. By contesting long-held cultural paradigms, this book equips you to see how sexuality is rooted in the broader context of God's heart and His work for us on earth. It provides a framework from which to understand the big picture of sexual challenges and wholeness, and helps you recognize that every sexual question is ultimately a spiritual one. It shifts the paradigm from combating sexual problems to confidently proclaiming and modeling the road to sacred sexuality. Instead of arguing with the world about what's right and wrong about sexual choices, this practical resource equips you to share the love and grace of Jesus as you encounter the pain of sexual brokenness--your own or someone else's.
217 pages, Kindle Edition
Published July 24, 2018
218 people are currently reading
1844 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 209 reviews
October 1, 2020
I really appreciated this book. Here are a few brief remarks:
1. Juli holds to the traditional non-affirming view of sexuality. Whether or not you agree with her position, her book is extremely valuable. Here’s why.
2. The book is really about what she calls “Sexual Discipleship.” The book is simultaneously about discipleship and about sexuality.
3. I really appreciate her chapter on the purpose of human sexuality. She moves the discussion away from what is/isn’t permissible to how our sexual urges are intended to point us back to (and reflect) God’s passionate sacrificial covenant love (eg. P58).
4. Her explanation of sexuality affirms a purpose to one’s sexuality even in the case of celibacy.
5. By uniting sexuality and discipleship, Juli draws out well the complex and all-encompassing nature of discipleship, as opposed to the many overly simplistic and compartmentalized treatments of discipleship.
6. By examining sexuality in our culture, she rightly demonstrates that this is one of many areas where our culture is much more effective at “discipleship” than the church. Her discussion exposes many flaws in our approach to discipleship, while acting as a prophetic voice calling the church to stop its silence and step boldly into the sexuality discussion!
A worthwhile read regardless of where you stand in the sexuality discussion.
1. Juli holds to the traditional non-affirming view of sexuality. Whether or not you agree with her position, her book is extremely valuable. Here’s why.
2. The book is really about what she calls “Sexual Discipleship.” The book is simultaneously about discipleship and about sexuality.
3. I really appreciate her chapter on the purpose of human sexuality. She moves the discussion away from what is/isn’t permissible to how our sexual urges are intended to point us back to (and reflect) God’s passionate sacrificial covenant love (eg. P58).
4. Her explanation of sexuality affirms a purpose to one’s sexuality even in the case of celibacy.
5. By uniting sexuality and discipleship, Juli draws out well the complex and all-encompassing nature of discipleship, as opposed to the many overly simplistic and compartmentalized treatments of discipleship.
6. By examining sexuality in our culture, she rightly demonstrates that this is one of many areas where our culture is much more effective at “discipleship” than the church. Her discussion exposes many flaws in our approach to discipleship, while acting as a prophetic voice calling the church to stop its silence and step boldly into the sexuality discussion!
A worthwhile read regardless of where you stand in the sexuality discussion.
June 9, 2021
Not sure where to start. The first part was helpful and I liked her distinction between grace and love. But by the end of the book I had more questions than answers.
A good beginning of a conversation.
A good beginning of a conversation.
February 28, 2018
A much needed and extremely important book for our times. Every Christian needs to read this book!
November 13, 2022
Rethinking Sexuality explores the results of popular culture’s immense representation of sexuality paired with the church's lack of discipleship on the matter. The result of this imbalance is a weak theology of sexuality in Christian culture. Dr. Slattery goes beyond just defining the problem but also provides a means for mending it: Biblical discipleship.
Slattery defines Biblical discipleship as involving three things: “(1) knowing what you believe, (2) living what you believe, and (3) passing on what you believe.” Working from that understanding of discipleship, she broaches the topic of sexuality with a candidacy missed in many Christian resources.
She outlines what the Bible says about sexuality, explains how living in light of those truths will look, and gives practical advice on how to create safe environments for passing along those truths. While she explains the beauty and significance of God creating us as sexual beings, she does not shy away from talking about the hard-to-understand aspects of sexuality or the incredibly painful situations that can sometimes result from living according to God’s design.
I found the discipleship aspect of the book to be incredibly insightful. While focused primarily on the topic of sexuality, the principles she lays out are applicable to every area of discipleship. A recurring theme was humility and integrity on the end of the one doing the discipling. To admit our own need for healing is not to relinquish our ability to be used by God. Rather, admitting to our own weaknesses and deep need for healing is when we, “..find a hallowed ground, preparing the way for dependence on Jesus with lives that show other people how great God is.” God works through the testimonies of broken and healing people to give hope of healing to other broken people.
Slattery defines Biblical discipleship as involving three things: “(1) knowing what you believe, (2) living what you believe, and (3) passing on what you believe.” Working from that understanding of discipleship, she broaches the topic of sexuality with a candidacy missed in many Christian resources.
She outlines what the Bible says about sexuality, explains how living in light of those truths will look, and gives practical advice on how to create safe environments for passing along those truths. While she explains the beauty and significance of God creating us as sexual beings, she does not shy away from talking about the hard-to-understand aspects of sexuality or the incredibly painful situations that can sometimes result from living according to God’s design.
I found the discipleship aspect of the book to be incredibly insightful. While focused primarily on the topic of sexuality, the principles she lays out are applicable to every area of discipleship. A recurring theme was humility and integrity on the end of the one doing the discipling. To admit our own need for healing is not to relinquish our ability to be used by God. Rather, admitting to our own weaknesses and deep need for healing is when we, “..find a hallowed ground, preparing the way for dependence on Jesus with lives that show other people how great God is.” God works through the testimonies of broken and healing people to give hope of healing to other broken people.
September 6, 2018
I was not impressed by this book. Most of it is made up of saying cliche church stances and places an immense amount of weight on the "shoulds' of relationships.
I received a copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.
I received a copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.
August 27, 2022
There were a few solid and helpful highlights but I struggled with a few components of this book. First, I was overwhelmed with the intense amount of Christianese. I know it’s a Christian book and author (and I, a Christian reader), but most of the time I felt like I was listening to a very long sermon that never quite got to the point but sounds very churchy. Secondly, I didn’t feel like it ever landed on solid definitions or biblical sexuality. There was an assumption that the reader and the author are naturally on the same page and though her definitions could be read through the lines and her illustrations used, it’s hard to “rethink” when it’s not clear what needs to be re-thought. Do I need to do the rethinking? Or does the community at large need to understand sexuality in a different way? For those reasons, it was a weak read for me and not necessarily helpful or transformative.
June 7, 2024
4.75
This was really good and rooted in much more true scripture and doctrine than I anticipated. I went in with open ears, but a ready to contradict heart. This hit the mark on all it planned to. I had little to no issues with it, and I found myself wishing I had a physical copy to underline and make notes in.
I do wish she had shared a few more anecdotes about practical application when speaking to people in a different school of thought.
Great book that had a lot of good thoughts regarding a topic mostly swept under the rug by the church today.
This was really good and rooted in much more true scripture and doctrine than I anticipated. I went in with open ears, but a ready to contradict heart. This hit the mark on all it planned to. I had little to no issues with it, and I found myself wishing I had a physical copy to underline and make notes in.
I do wish she had shared a few more anecdotes about practical application when speaking to people in a different school of thought.
Great book that had a lot of good thoughts regarding a topic mostly swept under the rug by the church today.
February 22, 2023
So good, I want to buy my own copy, eventually.
August 18, 2022
"Although sexuality presents and enormous challenge to Christians and to the world at large, it is not a problem to be solved but a territory to be reclaimed."
From addressing who is sexually discipling us to explaining why our sexuality was created and is important, Dr. Slattery shares the truth of the gospel and His design along with a caring tone of grace.
In short, every person should read this. The end.
From addressing who is sexually discipling us to explaining why our sexuality was created and is important, Dr. Slattery shares the truth of the gospel and His design along with a caring tone of grace.
In short, every person should read this. The end.
April 12, 2019
Sexuality is an area of great brokenness in our culture, including within the body of Christ. This is a must read for everyone, but especially parents. It is a perspective- changer.
July 1, 2023
4.65 stars! This book made me think and made me want to do a better job of teaching sexuality in our church! And the author helps us see the importance of this and how to do a better job going forward. I appreciated her stories and her focus on revival in the final chapters. The only knock on it is that I would have like a lot more practical ways to do this. But I also recognize that each church will do it differently, so her not telling us what to do is probably related to that. Still a good book.
March 26, 2022
Humble, gracious and hopeful, while completely confident that God knows best, this book is a gift to the church.
July 21, 2024
Very good. Would recommend for everyone to read. Incredible balance of grace and truth. The book does a great job of pointing to the Bible for truth, even more than the book itself.
April 4, 2022
“I imagine a time when it is normal for Christians to talk and pray and teach about all aspects of sexuality.”
This book was a joy and a call to deeper sexual health and care within the church.
This book was a joy and a call to deeper sexual health and care within the church.
January 28, 2022
1.5 rounded down
Sooo I'm not a christian and I haven't been since like 5th grade, but I go to a christian college where this book is required for a class I have to take. Now I have many critiques of the church itself, so when this book called a couple of them out I was surprised. However, this is not a groundbreaking book. Slattery just repeats herself over and over about how the church needs to talk about sex, which is great, but how does the church go about that? As expected she also takes the traditional non-affirming view. My other complaint is that as I went through the book, I continuously found Slattery (a woman) making comments about how promiscuity negatively affects women. Not a single comment on men unless it was about pornography addiction (which women also struggle with, Dr. Slattery). She also made quite a few slightly ignorant comments on sexual abuse survivors and their struggle, when she herself stated she has NEVER experienced that. I truly believe that this books first two chapters has some good material and would make a great article, not a whole book.
Sooo I'm not a christian and I haven't been since like 5th grade, but I go to a christian college where this book is required for a class I have to take. Now I have many critiques of the church itself, so when this book called a couple of them out I was surprised. However, this is not a groundbreaking book. Slattery just repeats herself over and over about how the church needs to talk about sex, which is great, but how does the church go about that? As expected she also takes the traditional non-affirming view. My other complaint is that as I went through the book, I continuously found Slattery (a woman) making comments about how promiscuity negatively affects women. Not a single comment on men unless it was about pornography addiction (which women also struggle with, Dr. Slattery). She also made quite a few slightly ignorant comments on sexual abuse survivors and their struggle, when she herself stated she has NEVER experienced that. I truly believe that this books first two chapters has some good material and would make a great article, not a whole book.
September 26, 2023
second time reading through this book, this time alongside friends, and I’m even further convinced of it’s importance in the church. we have to know why we were designed if we ever want to experience healing or have any hope of reclaiming biblical sexuality. I highly, highly recommend it. You can borrow my copy!!
earlier review: not a book just about sex! a book about God’s design for His kingdom and how sexuality is a piece that fits into it.
earlier review: not a book just about sex! a book about God’s design for His kingdom and how sexuality is a piece that fits into it.
August 17, 2022
My friend and I have been reading this book together for what feels like an eternity, but I feel so sad to be finished with it. I had never heard of Dr. Slattery or Authentic Intimacy before reading this book, but I’m so glad to know about them now.
This book discusses so much about sexuality— the bottom line is that we are *all* sexually broken, and all of us experience that brokenness in different ways. As humans, we are so slow to understand Christ’s love for the church, so God gave us a physical way of showing that love: sex, specifically sex within marriage. But even still, we’re human, and sin perverts even the best of God’s gifts. Thankfully, Christ redeems us from our sin and can make beautiful things come from what feel like hopeless situations.
The last section of this book was my favorite part. She argues that God is full of both grace and truth, not just one or the other. Since we are to be like him, we are not called to show boundless amounts of grace to people who are not following God’s design for sex, but we also aren’t called to just slam people with truth all the time either. Slattery argues that we need to be in close relationship with people before we start speaking truth with them. We need to understand the details of their situation and show compassion whenever necessary. Compassion doesn’t mean changing what we believe, but it means having a heart that is willing to hear opposing arguments. God places every person in our lives for specific reasons, and Christian or not, I don’t think it’s helpful to try to get their attention by yelling at them.
There is so much sexual brokenness, but there is also so much goodness and redemption that God is working. I really wish that the church as a whole talked more about sex and why it is so sacred. I think that it’s been made into a topic that is only talked about in hushed tones, and that’s so unhelpful when we live in a culture that is screaming about it!
I loved this book and I can’t wait to read more by Dr. Slattery. Her podcast “Java with Juli” is excellent (despite its name) as well. It has opened me up to so many other resources regarding the right pursuit of sex and the way we can (and should!) be talking about it. To quote my friend who also finished this book recently, “READ THIS BOOK”.
This book discusses so much about sexuality— the bottom line is that we are *all* sexually broken, and all of us experience that brokenness in different ways. As humans, we are so slow to understand Christ’s love for the church, so God gave us a physical way of showing that love: sex, specifically sex within marriage. But even still, we’re human, and sin perverts even the best of God’s gifts. Thankfully, Christ redeems us from our sin and can make beautiful things come from what feel like hopeless situations.
The last section of this book was my favorite part. She argues that God is full of both grace and truth, not just one or the other. Since we are to be like him, we are not called to show boundless amounts of grace to people who are not following God’s design for sex, but we also aren’t called to just slam people with truth all the time either. Slattery argues that we need to be in close relationship with people before we start speaking truth with them. We need to understand the details of their situation and show compassion whenever necessary. Compassion doesn’t mean changing what we believe, but it means having a heart that is willing to hear opposing arguments. God places every person in our lives for specific reasons, and Christian or not, I don’t think it’s helpful to try to get their attention by yelling at them.
There is so much sexual brokenness, but there is also so much goodness and redemption that God is working. I really wish that the church as a whole talked more about sex and why it is so sacred. I think that it’s been made into a topic that is only talked about in hushed tones, and that’s so unhelpful when we live in a culture that is screaming about it!
I loved this book and I can’t wait to read more by Dr. Slattery. Her podcast “Java with Juli” is excellent (despite its name) as well. It has opened me up to so many other resources regarding the right pursuit of sex and the way we can (and should!) be talking about it. To quote my friend who also finished this book recently, “READ THIS BOOK”.
August 7, 2023
Good overview on why sexuality matters to God and should matter to believers. I thought it would contain a little more exploration of specific issues regarding sexuality and gender identity, but it was more basic than that. Provides a foundation for how and why we ought to think biblically about sexuality. Leaves specific issues to be explored elsewhere or in future writings.
November 22, 2024
More people need to get a hold of Dr. Slattery's book. Grounded in truth and love, this is one I'll certainly be referencing again and recommending to others!
June 29, 2021
Writing style: 🌟🌟🌟🌟
Engagement:🌟🌟🌟
Content:🌟🌟🌟🌟
Purpose:🌟🌟🌟🌟
Value:🌟🌟🌟🌟
Overall: 3.8/5
Engagement:🌟🌟🌟
Content:🌟🌟🌟🌟
Purpose:🌟🌟🌟🌟
Value:🌟🌟🌟🌟
Overall: 3.8/5
May 10, 2022
It definitely made me rethink sexuality! 😄
February 28, 2023
Highly recommend all Christians read/listen to this book! It is based on biblical principles and covers a large array of topics for ministering to yourself as well as others
April 12, 2019
Highly recommend! 1/100th of my notes lol
While God has made His design plain to us, we have become foolish in our thinking, even though we claim to be wise with all our enlightened moral advances. We embrace the freedom to do whatever we want, while we run headlong into our own destruction.
Normalizing sin and brokenness will only make us sicker. Our thoughts and beliefs about sexuality must be firmly rooted in the affirmation that God is the Creator and that His design is good.
When we live within God's design for sex, it is a gift and blessing - without, we experience consequences.
Instead of worshipping a God of compassion, we have made compassion a god unto itself, ignoring God's call to righteousness and holiness. God's love is limitless, but it does have boundaries. God's compassion never cancels out His truth and holiness. God is compassionate and loving, but He is also holy and will bring judgement on those who reject His authority.
While God has made His design plain to us, we have become foolish in our thinking, even though we claim to be wise with all our enlightened moral advances. We embrace the freedom to do whatever we want, while we run headlong into our own destruction.
Normalizing sin and brokenness will only make us sicker. Our thoughts and beliefs about sexuality must be firmly rooted in the affirmation that God is the Creator and that His design is good.
When we live within God's design for sex, it is a gift and blessing - without, we experience consequences.
Instead of worshipping a God of compassion, we have made compassion a god unto itself, ignoring God's call to righteousness and holiness. God's love is limitless, but it does have boundaries. God's compassion never cancels out His truth and holiness. God is compassionate and loving, but He is also holy and will bring judgement on those who reject His authority.
May 20, 2019
If you're looking for answers to questions you have about sex and sexuality, this will probably only raise more of them. Slattery's goal is to point out the urgent need for sexual discipleship in our churches. One takeaway was that this will take place through relationships. If we aren't pursuing people, not listening to those so hurt and suffering, no one will want to listen to us.
I was somewhat disillusioned by the author's mysticism. Also, there isn't much discussion of how proper worship forms our thinking. However, I was challenged to self-reflect and consider how I might be used to encourage others in this sensitive area. It's not something to be afraid of.
I was somewhat disillusioned by the author's mysticism. Also, there isn't much discussion of how proper worship forms our thinking. However, I was challenged to self-reflect and consider how I might be used to encourage others in this sensitive area. It's not something to be afraid of.
December 24, 2019
I’ve read this book as I have been interested about the subject due to a module I took at school. However I am not sure I like the book too much. Over its length, it failed to keep my attention.
Probably I will give it another shot in the future, but not too soon.
Probably I will give it another shot in the future, but not too soon.
April 14, 2021
We have been sexually discipled by the world.
Although sexuality presents an enormous challenge to Christians and to the world at large, it is not a problem to be solved but a territory to be reclaimed.
Our silence on sex reinforces the belief that sexuality is dirty and ungodly. People conclude that God has little or nothing to say about our sexuality. Silence teaches us to hold on to our secret struggles and questions, which results in isolation and shame.
People rarely become fluent through an educational model. Fluent thought and speech usually come through immersion in an environment that consistently reinforces and models the language for us.
For example, today's Christian teens might know at some level that God wants them to save sex for marriage. But they don't understand why purity matters, what to do if they've made mistakes already, and what magic line they are not supposed to cross. They have no idea that purity will be a lifelong struggle, even after marriage. But if the church were using a discipleship model to teach about sexuality, these young people would understand the underlying spiritual importance and implications of their sexuality... They would also know how to apply the broader message of the gospel (Jesus's love and redemption, the power of the Holy Spirit's indwelling) to their lives in all circumstances.
Sexual discipleship will occur only when we see how sexuality dovetails with the larger picture of what it means to be a Christ follower.
Our conversations about sex must be rooted in a deep desire to see people know the love of Jesus and follow Him as disciples. We don't talk about sex simply to condemn people or to prove a point. Nor do we adopt the cultural view that sexual choices and opinions don't matter. We engage with sexual issues because they overlap with what Jesus has commanded us to do: share His truth and make disciples. We have a mission. It's not to convince people that sex outside of marriage is sinful. After all, Jesus didn't say "Go into all the world and make virgins and heterosexuals." He told us to make disciples. Our mission is to exalt Jesus as Lord, Creator, and Savior of every aspect of our lives, including sexuality.
In order to fulfil the Great Commission, we have to be equipped to talk about sexuality.
John Piper wrote, "The quickest way to the heart is through a wound."
For you and I have this same opportunity to make the gospel relevant and personal to those who are silently suffering around us. Good luck talking to your coworkers about what the Bible says about their sexual choices or inviting them to church to hear a sermon about the sovereignty of God. People couldn't care less about our theology, but they are desperate for truth that can address their pain. People are looking for help for their addictions and hope for their broken hearts. They want living water. If we run away or become judgmental or uncomfortable any time we see sexual pain, we will miss the greatest opportunities to enter the pain of their sexual brokenness and share the love of Jesus Christ.
As people pursue sexual "freedom," there will be a devastation of broken lives. This creates the opportunity to offer living water, just as Jesus did to the hurting woman He met at the well.
I will never agree with someone about sexual issues if we have differing worldviews.
For Christian, morality isn't simply based on not hurting someone else, but our reverence for the Creator's design and intentions.
The more modern interpretation of God's love, "God wants me to feel happy, complete, and fully accepted as I am," eliminates the concept of sin from our vocabulary... If our sin were as benign as we make it sound, then Jesus Christ didn't have to suffer and die. Jesus ministered to every kind of sinner during his time on earth. He loved sinners, but he never affirmed or marginalized their sin. Instead, He loved them by providing a way to be pure and holy. Even as He loved and forgave, He said "Go and sin no more" (John 8:11, NLT).
Calling Jesus "Lord" means making a daily choice to acknowledge "I've given up the right to my own life, including sexual longings that are outside God's design for them." This difficult teaching about what it means to be a disciple of Jesus often comes up in conversations about the longings of those who are same-sex attracted. Why would God ask someone to deny such desires for a lifetime? Some thing this perspective hypocritical and unfair, saying we haven't challenged all believers (including ourselves) to the same standard of self-denial. They have a great point. As Russell Moore noted, "If we're going to preach that sort of gospel, we must make it clear that this cross-bearing sort of self-denial isn't just what the gospel is. If your church has been preaching the American Dream, with eternal life at the end and Jesus as the means you use to get all that, you don't have a gospel that can reach your gay and lesbian neighbors - or anyone else for that matter." In other words, resisting temptation and denying strong desires should be a normal experience in the life of a Christ follower. Many Christians endure long seasons (some lifelong) of celibacy. Married couples remain faithful when sex isn't possible or pleasurable.
Of all things God has created on earth to teach us about His character, none is more powerful in creation or pervasive in Scripture than the marital covenant and the place of sexuality within it.
Our sexual desires and unmet cravings can propel us toward marriage, but ultimately they should propel us to the greater truth that we were made for eternal covenant.
Just as unfulfilled sexual desire teaches us about our longing for God, sexual intimacy in marriage is a mysterious metaphor for the celebration of God's love for us.
Over the years I have learned that long-term sexual fulfilment between two people is impossible without sacrifice... [Sexual intimacy] is also a tangible learning lab of covenant love, at times asking you to deny your own desires out of love for your spouse.
This means that your sexual decisions are not simply a matter of doing what is right or wrong. Stewarding your sexuality is about being true to the metaphor of covenant.
Satan's goal isn't simply for us to do something wrong; he wants to convince us that God is not trustworthy. The temptation to look at porn or cheat on your spouse isn't ultimately about sex. These choices demonstrate whether we trust God's plan for our lives.
This is key: the battle over sexuality is not ultimately about reinstating what we consider to be sexual morality. Our enemies in the battle are not the men and women who create erotica and porn or who lobby for gay rights. Our efforts will be seriously misguided if we don't understand the nature of the war.
We are fighting *for* people, not against them... It's a battle for God to be lifted high and win the hearts of people for whom He died.
The church often defines sexual "health" as the absence of symptoms... But sexual brokenness is not simply the presence of symptoms. It is anything that keeps us from experiencing sexuality as the gift and metaphor of covenant love.
At Jesus's feet I'm aware of neither shame nor pride... Do you most identify with the woman excluded from the party or the self-righteous spiritual leader, or are you at His feet in holy brokenness?
Real healing has less to do with technical intervention and more to do with profound relational engagement.
[Healing] means that we are free, fully alive, and connected with the God who created us for relationship with Him.
"Just because I want this now doesn't mean it's necessarily good for me. God, please help me to direct this desire in a way that honors You and honors my body."
As I've sought to help myself and others bridge the gap between what we believe and how we live, I've found it helpful to ask three practical questions based on these principles:
1. Am I coachable?
2. *How* am I trying?
3. Am I taking small steps of obedience?
So often we believe that it is faith that saves us but hard work that makes us into true Christ followers. With that strategy, we will inevitably end up either as judgmental Pharisees or hating ourselves for our constant failure.
When I am led by the power of the Holy Spirit, He doesn't simply change my actions; He influences my affections. People who walk away from porn or give grace to a difficult spouse do so not out of self-discipline but rather because they have experienced a fundamental change in what they love. Spiritual maturity is not primarily what we are able to say no to but the passion and conviction with which we pursue Jesus.
"Sure, I prayed and went to church and even occasionally asked for some help, but it was all with the mindset of "fixing" my problem. I never once considered living a new life, a different life, a Christ-led life. Rather, I just wanted my struggle with lust to disappear so I could go on living my life as I saw fit."
The world doesn't need to see Christians who keep God's sexual standards perfectly. What they most need to see is broken people who are no longer ashamed of their weakness but live to brag about a God who loves them.
If God is the star of my story, I don't want anything to mask what He has done, is doing, and will do in my life. My pretending not only keeps people from seeing the true me; it also keep people from seeing the Star.
The debate about love and truth is particularly poignant today because our culture says that to love others, we must embrace and accept everything about them. Many church traditions add fuel to the fire by teaching that in order to stand on truth, we should reject the world - not just the world system but also the people of the world.
It is impossible to be humble toward God and ignore His truth. It's equally impossible to be humble toward other people and yet unloving.
Instead of worshipping a God of compassion, we have made compassion a god unto itself, ignoring God's call to righteousness and holiness.
It's easy to adopt an us-versus-them mind-set. We are on the side of the argument or battle, and "they" are on the other side, "they" being atheists, abortionists, alcoholics, convicts, pornographers, homosexuals, and gossips, among others. In truth, there is no distinction between "us" and "them" apart from Jesus Christ. We are broken and sinful, and we need grace. We are foolish, weak, and desperate. We are all loved by God and lost without salvation through Jesus Christ.
Ironically, once you stop caring what people think about you, you will actually begin caring about people.
The most profound vehicle for passing on truth is relationship.
Discipleship = truth + relationship.
God has given you a unique story of redemption and grace that I cannot tell. People need more than a sermon or a book on biblical sexuality. They need stories to validate God's truth and offer hope for a different future.
Jesus didn't just want us to be united with one another but united *in Him*. I Christian isn't just someone who claims the label but one who embraces the Savior.
Although sexuality presents an enormous challenge to Christians and to the world at large, it is not a problem to be solved but a territory to be reclaimed.
Our silence on sex reinforces the belief that sexuality is dirty and ungodly. People conclude that God has little or nothing to say about our sexuality. Silence teaches us to hold on to our secret struggles and questions, which results in isolation and shame.
People rarely become fluent through an educational model. Fluent thought and speech usually come through immersion in an environment that consistently reinforces and models the language for us.
For example, today's Christian teens might know at some level that God wants them to save sex for marriage. But they don't understand why purity matters, what to do if they've made mistakes already, and what magic line they are not supposed to cross. They have no idea that purity will be a lifelong struggle, even after marriage. But if the church were using a discipleship model to teach about sexuality, these young people would understand the underlying spiritual importance and implications of their sexuality... They would also know how to apply the broader message of the gospel (Jesus's love and redemption, the power of the Holy Spirit's indwelling) to their lives in all circumstances.
Sexual discipleship will occur only when we see how sexuality dovetails with the larger picture of what it means to be a Christ follower.
Our conversations about sex must be rooted in a deep desire to see people know the love of Jesus and follow Him as disciples. We don't talk about sex simply to condemn people or to prove a point. Nor do we adopt the cultural view that sexual choices and opinions don't matter. We engage with sexual issues because they overlap with what Jesus has commanded us to do: share His truth and make disciples. We have a mission. It's not to convince people that sex outside of marriage is sinful. After all, Jesus didn't say "Go into all the world and make virgins and heterosexuals." He told us to make disciples. Our mission is to exalt Jesus as Lord, Creator, and Savior of every aspect of our lives, including sexuality.
In order to fulfil the Great Commission, we have to be equipped to talk about sexuality.
John Piper wrote, "The quickest way to the heart is through a wound."
For you and I have this same opportunity to make the gospel relevant and personal to those who are silently suffering around us. Good luck talking to your coworkers about what the Bible says about their sexual choices or inviting them to church to hear a sermon about the sovereignty of God. People couldn't care less about our theology, but they are desperate for truth that can address their pain. People are looking for help for their addictions and hope for their broken hearts. They want living water. If we run away or become judgmental or uncomfortable any time we see sexual pain, we will miss the greatest opportunities to enter the pain of their sexual brokenness and share the love of Jesus Christ.
As people pursue sexual "freedom," there will be a devastation of broken lives. This creates the opportunity to offer living water, just as Jesus did to the hurting woman He met at the well.
I will never agree with someone about sexual issues if we have differing worldviews.
For Christian, morality isn't simply based on not hurting someone else, but our reverence for the Creator's design and intentions.
The more modern interpretation of God's love, "God wants me to feel happy, complete, and fully accepted as I am," eliminates the concept of sin from our vocabulary... If our sin were as benign as we make it sound, then Jesus Christ didn't have to suffer and die. Jesus ministered to every kind of sinner during his time on earth. He loved sinners, but he never affirmed or marginalized their sin. Instead, He loved them by providing a way to be pure and holy. Even as He loved and forgave, He said "Go and sin no more" (John 8:11, NLT).
Calling Jesus "Lord" means making a daily choice to acknowledge "I've given up the right to my own life, including sexual longings that are outside God's design for them." This difficult teaching about what it means to be a disciple of Jesus often comes up in conversations about the longings of those who are same-sex attracted. Why would God ask someone to deny such desires for a lifetime? Some thing this perspective hypocritical and unfair, saying we haven't challenged all believers (including ourselves) to the same standard of self-denial. They have a great point. As Russell Moore noted, "If we're going to preach that sort of gospel, we must make it clear that this cross-bearing sort of self-denial isn't just what the gospel is. If your church has been preaching the American Dream, with eternal life at the end and Jesus as the means you use to get all that, you don't have a gospel that can reach your gay and lesbian neighbors - or anyone else for that matter." In other words, resisting temptation and denying strong desires should be a normal experience in the life of a Christ follower. Many Christians endure long seasons (some lifelong) of celibacy. Married couples remain faithful when sex isn't possible or pleasurable.
Of all things God has created on earth to teach us about His character, none is more powerful in creation or pervasive in Scripture than the marital covenant and the place of sexuality within it.
Our sexual desires and unmet cravings can propel us toward marriage, but ultimately they should propel us to the greater truth that we were made for eternal covenant.
Just as unfulfilled sexual desire teaches us about our longing for God, sexual intimacy in marriage is a mysterious metaphor for the celebration of God's love for us.
Over the years I have learned that long-term sexual fulfilment between two people is impossible without sacrifice... [Sexual intimacy] is also a tangible learning lab of covenant love, at times asking you to deny your own desires out of love for your spouse.
This means that your sexual decisions are not simply a matter of doing what is right or wrong. Stewarding your sexuality is about being true to the metaphor of covenant.
Satan's goal isn't simply for us to do something wrong; he wants to convince us that God is not trustworthy. The temptation to look at porn or cheat on your spouse isn't ultimately about sex. These choices demonstrate whether we trust God's plan for our lives.
This is key: the battle over sexuality is not ultimately about reinstating what we consider to be sexual morality. Our enemies in the battle are not the men and women who create erotica and porn or who lobby for gay rights. Our efforts will be seriously misguided if we don't understand the nature of the war.
We are fighting *for* people, not against them... It's a battle for God to be lifted high and win the hearts of people for whom He died.
The church often defines sexual "health" as the absence of symptoms... But sexual brokenness is not simply the presence of symptoms. It is anything that keeps us from experiencing sexuality as the gift and metaphor of covenant love.
At Jesus's feet I'm aware of neither shame nor pride... Do you most identify with the woman excluded from the party or the self-righteous spiritual leader, or are you at His feet in holy brokenness?
Real healing has less to do with technical intervention and more to do with profound relational engagement.
[Healing] means that we are free, fully alive, and connected with the God who created us for relationship with Him.
"Just because I want this now doesn't mean it's necessarily good for me. God, please help me to direct this desire in a way that honors You and honors my body."
As I've sought to help myself and others bridge the gap between what we believe and how we live, I've found it helpful to ask three practical questions based on these principles:
1. Am I coachable?
2. *How* am I trying?
3. Am I taking small steps of obedience?
So often we believe that it is faith that saves us but hard work that makes us into true Christ followers. With that strategy, we will inevitably end up either as judgmental Pharisees or hating ourselves for our constant failure.
When I am led by the power of the Holy Spirit, He doesn't simply change my actions; He influences my affections. People who walk away from porn or give grace to a difficult spouse do so not out of self-discipline but rather because they have experienced a fundamental change in what they love. Spiritual maturity is not primarily what we are able to say no to but the passion and conviction with which we pursue Jesus.
"Sure, I prayed and went to church and even occasionally asked for some help, but it was all with the mindset of "fixing" my problem. I never once considered living a new life, a different life, a Christ-led life. Rather, I just wanted my struggle with lust to disappear so I could go on living my life as I saw fit."
The world doesn't need to see Christians who keep God's sexual standards perfectly. What they most need to see is broken people who are no longer ashamed of their weakness but live to brag about a God who loves them.
If God is the star of my story, I don't want anything to mask what He has done, is doing, and will do in my life. My pretending not only keeps people from seeing the true me; it also keep people from seeing the Star.
The debate about love and truth is particularly poignant today because our culture says that to love others, we must embrace and accept everything about them. Many church traditions add fuel to the fire by teaching that in order to stand on truth, we should reject the world - not just the world system but also the people of the world.
It is impossible to be humble toward God and ignore His truth. It's equally impossible to be humble toward other people and yet unloving.
Instead of worshipping a God of compassion, we have made compassion a god unto itself, ignoring God's call to righteousness and holiness.
It's easy to adopt an us-versus-them mind-set. We are on the side of the argument or battle, and "they" are on the other side, "they" being atheists, abortionists, alcoholics, convicts, pornographers, homosexuals, and gossips, among others. In truth, there is no distinction between "us" and "them" apart from Jesus Christ. We are broken and sinful, and we need grace. We are foolish, weak, and desperate. We are all loved by God and lost without salvation through Jesus Christ.
Ironically, once you stop caring what people think about you, you will actually begin caring about people.
The most profound vehicle for passing on truth is relationship.
Discipleship = truth + relationship.
God has given you a unique story of redemption and grace that I cannot tell. People need more than a sermon or a book on biblical sexuality. They need stories to validate God's truth and offer hope for a different future.
Jesus didn't just want us to be united with one another but united *in Him*. I Christian isn't just someone who claims the label but one who embraces the Savior.
February 25, 2022
Juli Slattery is a Christian counselor with a focus on sexuality. In "Rethinking Sexuality," Slattery wants to put forward a clear and positive apologetic for a Christian and gospel-focused understanding of our sexuality.
Slattery says, "Our sexuality is a tremendous gift from God. However, we rarely see it as a gift because it has been so twisted and tainted in our personal experiences and our culture. There is perhaps no aspect of humanity that represents more pain and shame than sexuality." Slattery believes that the culture's dominant voice in the realm of sexuality has muted the Christian voice. She wants the church and Christian parents to reclaim that ground. We need gospel-centered sexual discipleship.
Slattery says that "What you think about sex begins with what you believe about God." She says that we need to clearly articulate a new vision of what love is. We also need to understand that God created our sexuality to point to the gospel. From the start, God's creation of us was for the purpose of demonstrating his love for the church.
It is no surprise, then, that the Enemy attacks our sexuality with such ferocity. If Satan can get us to believe lies about who God is, what love is, and what the purpose of our sexuality is, then he can make fast work of our relationship with God. Slattery demonstrates this with this powerful mental picture from Russel Moore: "No one is more pro-choice than the devil on the way into the abortion clinic, and no one is more pro-life than the devil on the way out of the abortion clinic."
Slattery dives into the challenges of sexual discipleship: "1) Our natural selves versus our spiritual selves: We want to honor God, yet we are drawn toward selfish pursuits. 2) Our public selves versus our private selves: We believe that revealing our secrets will ruin our testimony. 3) Love versus truth: We feel as if we must choose between biblical truth and Jesus's love." The Christian's journey isn't about self-fulfillment or about being true to ourselves, but trusting our hearts with God.
Slattery's book isn't ground-breaking, but it is a solid primer for any Christian asking the question, "how does my sexuality relate to my relationship with God?" I think that this would be a particularly helpful book for teens and young adults trying to make sense of why God makes the sexual prohibitions he does in the Bible. There is more that I wish Slattery would have delved into, but I appreciated how grounded and focused on the core message she remained.
For more reviews see thebeehive.live.
Slattery says, "Our sexuality is a tremendous gift from God. However, we rarely see it as a gift because it has been so twisted and tainted in our personal experiences and our culture. There is perhaps no aspect of humanity that represents more pain and shame than sexuality." Slattery believes that the culture's dominant voice in the realm of sexuality has muted the Christian voice. She wants the church and Christian parents to reclaim that ground. We need gospel-centered sexual discipleship.
Slattery says that "What you think about sex begins with what you believe about God." She says that we need to clearly articulate a new vision of what love is. We also need to understand that God created our sexuality to point to the gospel. From the start, God's creation of us was for the purpose of demonstrating his love for the church.
It is no surprise, then, that the Enemy attacks our sexuality with such ferocity. If Satan can get us to believe lies about who God is, what love is, and what the purpose of our sexuality is, then he can make fast work of our relationship with God. Slattery demonstrates this with this powerful mental picture from Russel Moore: "No one is more pro-choice than the devil on the way into the abortion clinic, and no one is more pro-life than the devil on the way out of the abortion clinic."
Slattery dives into the challenges of sexual discipleship: "1) Our natural selves versus our spiritual selves: We want to honor God, yet we are drawn toward selfish pursuits. 2) Our public selves versus our private selves: We believe that revealing our secrets will ruin our testimony. 3) Love versus truth: We feel as if we must choose between biblical truth and Jesus's love." The Christian's journey isn't about self-fulfillment or about being true to ourselves, but trusting our hearts with God.
Slattery's book isn't ground-breaking, but it is a solid primer for any Christian asking the question, "how does my sexuality relate to my relationship with God?" I think that this would be a particularly helpful book for teens and young adults trying to make sense of why God makes the sexual prohibitions he does in the Bible. There is more that I wish Slattery would have delved into, but I appreciated how grounded and focused on the core message she remained.
For more reviews see thebeehive.live.
August 14, 2018
This book is a call to the Church to retake the ground that it has so abjectly surrendered to the culture at large and its ungodly world view. As Dr. Slattery so adroitly points out on the following pages:
Pg.7. “For far too long, Christianity has not represented a safe place for pilgrims to find help related to sexuality. Ironically, everyone seems to be talking about sex but rarely within the context of home and church.”
Pg.8. “Christians have a long history of avoiding and mishandling topics of sexuality. For generations, we simply didn’t talk about things such as sexual addiction, sexual abuse, sexual dysfunction, or even sexual pleasure in marriage. People were left to navigate this terrain on their own or seek help from modern psychology.”
Pg. 8. “When the church has addressed these questions, it’s often been with a judgmental condemning tone.”
Pg. 9. “The world is watching and laughing as Christians who worship the same God and read the same Bible can’t agree on God’s intention for sexuality.:”
Pg. 10. “Our silence on sex reinforces the belief that sexuality is dirty and ungodly. People conclude that God has little or nothing to say about our sexuality. Silence teaches us to hold on to our secret struggles and questions, which results in isolation and shame.”
Pgs. 11-12 “… in every church on this planet, men and women silently struggle with temptation, shame, trauma, and confusion. They stay silent because we stay silent. Our silence tells them that God must be indifferent or too holy to care about their sexual temptations, their sexual pain, their terrifying memories, and their tormenting shame, If these questions and issues are too troubling for the church to address many assume they also must be too great for God to handle.”
Pg. 15. “To the extent that we refuse to talk about tough sexual issues, we allow culture to define God’s character and truth on sexuality.”
Pg.17. “We need to tell the world that God cares about our sexual pain, that His wisdom extends into and through our sexuality. When we speak His truth, people are set free!”
Pg. 17. “When we focus only on theology and truth, we become judgmental and even hypocritical. God wants His truth to transform our hearts and His love to shape how we reach the hurting.”
Pg.20. “We have been sexually discipled by the world.”
Pg22. “The culture has done a masterful job of showing us how to live out postmodern thought through our sexuality. We see secular values about sexuality integrated into every possible aspect of life.”
Pg.22. “Everywhere we turn, we are bombarded with the world’s sexual doctrine.”
Pg.24. “When we approach sexuality from a discipleship framework, we teach and model a lifestyle of God’s truth applied to sexuality.”
Pg.24 “To turn the tide and stand it’s ground, the church needs to sexually disciple others so that their view of sexuality is firmly rooted in the biblical narrative, integrated into their daily lives, and passed on to others.”
Pg.24. “A primary problem of our current approach to teaching about sexuality is that we don’t understand why our sexual worldview is a critical aspect of following Jesus.”
Pg.25. “Sexual discipleship will occur only when we see how sexuality dovetails with the larger picture of what it means to be Christ followers.”
Pg.25. “Our mission is to exalt Jesus as Lord, Creator, and Savior of ever aspect of our lives, including sexuality.”
Christians need to realize that:
Pg.28. “We must be equipped and willing to enter into the pain of broken sexuality. Only then, can we be positioned to share the hope of Jesus with people who are desperate for the truth that can make a difference in their lives.”
Pg.31. “Sexual discipleship begins with what we believe, translates to how we live, and result in what we pass onto the next generation.”
Pg. 35. “What you think about sex begins with what you believe about God.”
Pg.36. “The sexual confusion we see in our culture is rooted in spiritual confusion.”
Pg.37. “Remember, before God ever told us to love others, He commanded us to surrender completely and totally to Him.”
Pg.45. “It’s not our job to make Jesus or the Bible more attractive to modern minds. It’s our job to bow before a holy God, desperately accepting His amazing gift of salivation from our sin”
Pg.46. “We have a multitude of Christians who will never experience the resurrection power of Jesus because they refuse to embrace the mortality of the cross.”
Pg. 47. “Calling Jesus “Lord” means making a daily choice to acknowledge ‘I’ve given up the right to my own life including sexual longings that are outside God’s design for them’.”
Pgs.51-52 “God intentionally created our sexuality to tell the story of His covenant love.”
Pg.109. “When Christians blend what the Bible says with humanism, they start believing that God wants us to seek truth by ‘trusting our hearts’ or ‘being true to ourselves’.”
Pg.116. “The ability to live the Christian life is impossible outside of the work of the Holy Spirit.”
Pg.116. “While everyone who is saved by Jesus has received the deposit of the Holy Spirit, not every Christian is living by the power of the Holy Spirit.”
Pg.116. “It’s not a matter of how much of the Holy Spirit I have but how much the Spirit has of me.”
Pg.119. “The powerful truths of God’s design for sexuality will not reach the world until we begin to live according to them.”
Pg.136. “Jesus was fully love and fully truth.”
Pg.138. “Our inability to effectively integrate God’s truth and love is ultimately rooted in our lack of humility. Pride is at the center of both our rejection of God’s holy standard and our judgmental application of that truth.”
Pg.138. “It’s impossible to be humble toward God and ignore His truth. It’s equally impossible to be humble towards other people yet unloving.”
Pg.140. “Instead of worshipping a God of compassion, we have made compassion a god unto itself, ignoring God’s call to righteousness and holiness.”
Pg.140. “God’s love is limitless, but it does have boundaries. God’s compassion never cancels out His truth and holiness.”
Pg.145. “Humility reminds us to put aside our agenda and ask the Lord for His. Only the Lord can give the right words to communicate truth and grace in each moment.”
Pg.146. “It is impossible to be defensive and loving at the same time.”
It is way past time for the Church to take repossession of the territory of sexuality. God gave it to us to remind us of His covenant love and Dr. Slattery’s book is a great beginning place for this conversation and action to occur.
I received an ARC of this book in paperback format, as a member of the launch team. The opinions expressed above are my own and I have received no other renumeration than the aforementioned book. I have purchased a copy directly from Dr. Slattery’s website.
Pg.7. “For far too long, Christianity has not represented a safe place for pilgrims to find help related to sexuality. Ironically, everyone seems to be talking about sex but rarely within the context of home and church.”
Pg.8. “Christians have a long history of avoiding and mishandling topics of sexuality. For generations, we simply didn’t talk about things such as sexual addiction, sexual abuse, sexual dysfunction, or even sexual pleasure in marriage. People were left to navigate this terrain on their own or seek help from modern psychology.”
Pg. 8. “When the church has addressed these questions, it’s often been with a judgmental condemning tone.”
Pg. 9. “The world is watching and laughing as Christians who worship the same God and read the same Bible can’t agree on God’s intention for sexuality.:”
Pg. 10. “Our silence on sex reinforces the belief that sexuality is dirty and ungodly. People conclude that God has little or nothing to say about our sexuality. Silence teaches us to hold on to our secret struggles and questions, which results in isolation and shame.”
Pgs. 11-12 “… in every church on this planet, men and women silently struggle with temptation, shame, trauma, and confusion. They stay silent because we stay silent. Our silence tells them that God must be indifferent or too holy to care about their sexual temptations, their sexual pain, their terrifying memories, and their tormenting shame, If these questions and issues are too troubling for the church to address many assume they also must be too great for God to handle.”
Pg. 15. “To the extent that we refuse to talk about tough sexual issues, we allow culture to define God’s character and truth on sexuality.”
Pg.17. “We need to tell the world that God cares about our sexual pain, that His wisdom extends into and through our sexuality. When we speak His truth, people are set free!”
Pg. 17. “When we focus only on theology and truth, we become judgmental and even hypocritical. God wants His truth to transform our hearts and His love to shape how we reach the hurting.”
Pg.20. “We have been sexually discipled by the world.”
Pg22. “The culture has done a masterful job of showing us how to live out postmodern thought through our sexuality. We see secular values about sexuality integrated into every possible aspect of life.”
Pg.22. “Everywhere we turn, we are bombarded with the world’s sexual doctrine.”
Pg.24. “When we approach sexuality from a discipleship framework, we teach and model a lifestyle of God’s truth applied to sexuality.”
Pg.24 “To turn the tide and stand it’s ground, the church needs to sexually disciple others so that their view of sexuality is firmly rooted in the biblical narrative, integrated into their daily lives, and passed on to others.”
Pg.24. “A primary problem of our current approach to teaching about sexuality is that we don’t understand why our sexual worldview is a critical aspect of following Jesus.”
Pg.25. “Sexual discipleship will occur only when we see how sexuality dovetails with the larger picture of what it means to be Christ followers.”
Pg.25. “Our mission is to exalt Jesus as Lord, Creator, and Savior of ever aspect of our lives, including sexuality.”
Christians need to realize that:
Pg.28. “We must be equipped and willing to enter into the pain of broken sexuality. Only then, can we be positioned to share the hope of Jesus with people who are desperate for the truth that can make a difference in their lives.”
Pg.31. “Sexual discipleship begins with what we believe, translates to how we live, and result in what we pass onto the next generation.”
Pg. 35. “What you think about sex begins with what you believe about God.”
Pg.36. “The sexual confusion we see in our culture is rooted in spiritual confusion.”
Pg.37. “Remember, before God ever told us to love others, He commanded us to surrender completely and totally to Him.”
Pg.45. “It’s not our job to make Jesus or the Bible more attractive to modern minds. It’s our job to bow before a holy God, desperately accepting His amazing gift of salivation from our sin”
Pg.46. “We have a multitude of Christians who will never experience the resurrection power of Jesus because they refuse to embrace the mortality of the cross.”
Pg. 47. “Calling Jesus “Lord” means making a daily choice to acknowledge ‘I’ve given up the right to my own life including sexual longings that are outside God’s design for them’.”
Pgs.51-52 “God intentionally created our sexuality to tell the story of His covenant love.”
Pg.109. “When Christians blend what the Bible says with humanism, they start believing that God wants us to seek truth by ‘trusting our hearts’ or ‘being true to ourselves’.”
Pg.116. “The ability to live the Christian life is impossible outside of the work of the Holy Spirit.”
Pg.116. “While everyone who is saved by Jesus has received the deposit of the Holy Spirit, not every Christian is living by the power of the Holy Spirit.”
Pg.116. “It’s not a matter of how much of the Holy Spirit I have but how much the Spirit has of me.”
Pg.119. “The powerful truths of God’s design for sexuality will not reach the world until we begin to live according to them.”
Pg.136. “Jesus was fully love and fully truth.”
Pg.138. “Our inability to effectively integrate God’s truth and love is ultimately rooted in our lack of humility. Pride is at the center of both our rejection of God’s holy standard and our judgmental application of that truth.”
Pg.138. “It’s impossible to be humble toward God and ignore His truth. It’s equally impossible to be humble towards other people yet unloving.”
Pg.140. “Instead of worshipping a God of compassion, we have made compassion a god unto itself, ignoring God’s call to righteousness and holiness.”
Pg.140. “God’s love is limitless, but it does have boundaries. God’s compassion never cancels out His truth and holiness.”
Pg.145. “Humility reminds us to put aside our agenda and ask the Lord for His. Only the Lord can give the right words to communicate truth and grace in each moment.”
Pg.146. “It is impossible to be defensive and loving at the same time.”
It is way past time for the Church to take repossession of the territory of sexuality. God gave it to us to remind us of His covenant love and Dr. Slattery’s book is a great beginning place for this conversation and action to occur.
I received an ARC of this book in paperback format, as a member of the launch team. The opinions expressed above are my own and I have received no other renumeration than the aforementioned book. I have purchased a copy directly from Dr. Slattery’s website.
January 9, 2022
I wonder what the world would look like if we all truly understood and believed God’s design and intention for sexuality. We live in a time and place where that truth lies stuck between two harmful cultures: one where there is an acceptance of sex with no strings attached that is about what makes us happy, and the harmful purity culture that lies and says that virginity and sex is a gift that can be tarnished because of our ugly sin. It’s no surprise that when people feel that they have to pick between the two views, they often seek out the one that gives them what they please with no shame.
Neither of those were what God intended when He created our sexuality. He didn’t do so as punishment, giving us something that He knew we would all struggle with and few wouldn’t fail to keep sacred. The first time I heard the words written by Dr. Juli Slattery was the first time I truly understood God’s true intentions, according to Scripture. That truth was so freeing and has completely transformed so much about my life.
Dr. Slattery navigates what the Bible says about God’s design for sexuality, how to live what we believe, and how to pass on what we believe in the right way (because as with all things, there is a wrong way). I firmly believe that her teachings are critical for us because of how far removed from Scripture our society’s beliefs about sex are.
If you are impacted by this, as I imagine many of us are, I cannot recommend this book enough. There are few books out there on this topic that care for God’s Word more than this one. I hope that it brings about healing and transformation as it did for me.
Neither of those were what God intended when He created our sexuality. He didn’t do so as punishment, giving us something that He knew we would all struggle with and few wouldn’t fail to keep sacred. The first time I heard the words written by Dr. Juli Slattery was the first time I truly understood God’s true intentions, according to Scripture. That truth was so freeing and has completely transformed so much about my life.
Dr. Slattery navigates what the Bible says about God’s design for sexuality, how to live what we believe, and how to pass on what we believe in the right way (because as with all things, there is a wrong way). I firmly believe that her teachings are critical for us because of how far removed from Scripture our society’s beliefs about sex are.
If you are impacted by this, as I imagine many of us are, I cannot recommend this book enough. There are few books out there on this topic that care for God’s Word more than this one. I hope that it brings about healing and transformation as it did for me.
August 14, 2024
I'm taking a break from BKS bc this came in today. I don't remember putting it on hold but here we are.
Anyway. This was really good to think about how what we believe about sexuality needs to match up with what we believe about God and His word (what Juli defines as sexual integrity). But, for all the times it talks about sex, this book isn't really about sex as much as it is about letting what we believe about God permeate every part of our lives. Do we believe God can provide for us (both in our marriage and our singleness)? Do we believe God does what is good for us (whether we get married or stay single)? Honestly not an uncomfortable book in terms of talking about sex but in the sense of being very convicting about how we balance what we believe about God with how we act. Would recommend.
Anyway. This was really good to think about how what we believe about sexuality needs to match up with what we believe about God and His word (what Juli defines as sexual integrity). But, for all the times it talks about sex, this book isn't really about sex as much as it is about letting what we believe about God permeate every part of our lives. Do we believe God can provide for us (both in our marriage and our singleness)? Do we believe God does what is good for us (whether we get married or stay single)? Honestly not an uncomfortable book in terms of talking about sex but in the sense of being very convicting about how we balance what we believe about God with how we act. Would recommend.
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