A Normal Family: Everyday adventures with our autistic son

by Henry Normal

'A wonderful self-portrait of a family with autism at its heart. Uplifting and grounded, frank and encouraging, serious and funny, A Normal Family affirms that there is life after an ASD diagnosis - an atypical life, yes, but an abundant and nourishing life just the same' David Mitchell, author of THE REASON I JUMPJohnny is nineteen. He likes music, art and going to the beach. He is also autistic - in his case that means he will probably never get a job, never have a girlfriend, never leave home. And over the last two decades this is what his father, TV producer and comedy writer Henry Normal, and mother, Angela Pell, have been trying to come to terms with. This is a book for anyone whose life has been touched by autism - it's about the hope, the despair, and the messy, honest, sometimes funny day-to-day world of autism, as well as a wonderful, warm book about the unconditional, unconventional love between a father, a mother and a son.'The book is about how [Henry] grieved for the life that Johnny isn't able to have - and learnt to celebrate the one that he does' The Times'Candid and funny' Radio Times'Honest but funny' Sunday Express'Pell and Normal describe hopes shattered, dreams deferred and victories gained in this brave, funny, and searingly honest memoir' Daily Express

Genres: Nonfiction, Autistic Spectrum Disorder, Mental Health

321 pages, Kindle Edition

Published March 22, 2018

Reviews

[Jo · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was such a special read for me. I loved reading about Johnny, about his love of painting and sheer joy for life. I enjoyed reading the viewpoints of his parents' Henry and Angela, their honesty, humour and love for their son shinning through on every page. It was a joy to read. And as a parent to an autistic child, I found this book so uplifting, yet grounding, in its absolute honesty.

I am sick to the back teeth of books trying to promote cures. What I need as a parent is simple everyday advice, and to read books such as this that echo very much how we are as a family. I found myself thinking, yes, my son does that, and, I tried that. I really do think that this book will be a complete eye opener to someone who is perhaps new to the world of autism.

The book is written with such love and humour. There are also poems at the end of each chapter. What I particularly liked was the two viewpoints. The 'Dad' and 'Mum' viewpoint, which helped to create a fully rounded image of family life. This book is honest, and tells it how it is, while cleary stating that this book is only about Johnny, about Henry's and Angela's experience of raising Johnny. It is not about Autism in general. It is a spectrum condition and effects the individual in many ways.

Johnny  Is 19, my son is 10, and I worry about his future as he gets older. These concerns were echoed in the book and I felt like weeping, in that someone had also expressed these concerns. As I said, this book is incredibly honest.

One section of the book touched upon feelings and that Johnny is incredibly empathetic. I think I punched the air at this point as the common misconception is that autistic individuals do not have feelings. My son has feelings and is very caring. Sometimes, I think he feels too much. I also liked the fact that the book mentioned 'refrigerator mothers, and that it was widely believed that autistic children were a result of unfeeling and 'cold' mothers who did not bond with their child. This is so very hurtful and offensive, but  thankfully is very much in the past.

I feel that people will view this  book in different ways, depending on their experiences of autism. But, I do feel that everyone would benefit from reading this book. It's not a heavy read with jargon and scientific facts. But rather, it is a family's story, and I feel that this is both beautiful and informative. It really is a must read for everyone.

With thanks to the publisher and Bookbridgr for the hardback copy for review purposes.

[Sue · Rating 5 out of 5]

Bought this book after seeing Henry Normal at the Wells literary festival and so glad I did. A really honest and introspective account by both Henry and Angela about their experience of family life with Johnny. Just being exposed to their experience and their account of how they have coped has enlightened me in ways I hadn't anticipated as I have little direct experience if autism. A delightful read about a delightful, strong and cohesive family and I'm grateful to them both for sharing theirs and Johnny's journey.

[Faith Spinks · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book is exactly what it says on the tin! A normal family. So yes, that title is a play on the authors name - Henry Normal, but still, this is the story of a normal family who just happened to have an autistic child.

This book is honest and straight forward. It neither asks you to feel sorry for them as a family, nor downplays the very real challenges which are part of living with autism. It was an easy to read because Henry and Angela very much welcome you into their world through their words. Reading it at times felt painful to see the reality of their hard journey, and yet encouraging to see just how much of a journey they have taken and the love which infused even the very darkest moments for them.

I have a nephew who is autistic and the more I read about autism and the more I learn about other autistic people the more I realise that autism really is a spectrum with every individual owning their own 'style' of autism. My nephew, unlike Johnny, is what they call high functioning autism. Many of his traits are very different to Johnny's. But I seem to have reached the same conclusion as Henry and Angela that if my nephew were 'cured' of autism he would lose many of the unique traits and character that simply make him who he is. And quite honestly I love him very much just the way he is - quirks and all!

Definitely a book to read!

[Jane Mcfie · Rating 5 out of 5]

Laughed, cried, empathised, identified. A brilliant book about anything but a normal family. Thank you, Henry Normal, Angela Pell and Johnny ❤️🌈 .

[donna crombie · Rating 5 out of 5]

What an amazing book. Thank you for being honest and truthful. I work with children who have autism. I say it like that as they are children first. This book is the best book I have read regarding how open you are and letting us in to see a family who has been through all the emotions.

[Hannah W · Rating 2 out of 5]

2.5 stars. This book was an interesting glimpse into the authors' family life. Their son Johnny (now a young adult) has complex needs and the book talks about how these affect not only Johnny but also his parents (who co-wrote the book together). I liked the (ultimately) positive way Henry and Angela talked about Johnny's way of experiencing the world, his communication style and his art. But I hated the name-dropping/media career talk (& skimmed most of it, yawn) and don't think they acknowledged often enough or deeply enough how incredibly privileged they are & how many of the opportunities they/Johnny have are way out of reach for other families, despite saying they wrote this book with similar families in mind. That's not to say that their story shouldn't be told, but it's by no means a typical one (and I say that as someone who has worked as a support worker for young adults with similar needs as Johnny). Finally, there's the issue of consent and whether it's okay to write about a person who didn't consent to be written about - the authors acknowledge this and did ask Johnny, but they also say they (& I'm paraphrasing a bit here) can't be sure he knew what he was agreeing to. I do think this issue was handled well and with some boundaries but it remains a consideration nevertheless.

[Kristine · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved every page of this autobiography. It is deeply personal and brutally honest, and today, many times, I have found myself talking about these people as if I know them. I am unsure where it is necessary to know autistic people in order to be truly affected by the stories and experiences shared but I feel so much better for reading this family's story and I recommend it highly. It is uplifting, hilarious, and occasionally gut-wrenchingly upsetting, but it is essential reading for any parent or person, whether they may be fortunate enough to know a special someone with autism or whether they are just fortunate enough to cross paths with an autistic person on the bus or at the garden centre. Treat yourself and read this book.

[Jemma Arbin · Rating 5 out of 5]

Being a parent of a Special Needs Child especially with the complexity of ASD can be extremely lonely and overwhelming - but picking up this book has reminded me I am not alone.

So many of the thoughts, feelings and experiences in these pages could have been written by my husband and I. Our son is 10 so it was good to get an inside view of how the next few years could pan out for our family as puberty hits and school ends. Thank you to Henry and Angela for sharing their story and raising awareness of ASD I especially look forward to checking out more of Angela's work.

I will be gifting this book to family and friends as I feel it could help them understand some of the difficulties and fears we have to face as our boy grows.

[Tracey Thompson · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book is wonderful. I became aware of Henry Normal's "solo" work after his fantastic Radio 4 shows, and this book is a continuation of that. It made me want to be a better parent, and a better human. Henry and Angela are just so incredible; I'm so glad they shared their story.

I recommend listening to the audiobook, as it brings Henry's incredibly moving poems to life.

[Jennifer · Rating 4 out of 5]

I thought this was a distinctive, well constructed and thoughtful book offering some honest perspectives (rather than advice) and showing the myriad considerations required to do the best by children who will need support throughout their lives.

[DKM Robertson · Rating 4 out of 5]

Well worth reading. Brings home the reality of parenting a child with autism. I liked the way both parents give their perspectives on the difficulties but also their love for their son and his achievements.

[Liz Owen · Rating 4 out of 5]

I've seen Henry Normal the poet in two separate shows, and was interested to know more about his family life. His poetry now is both funny and poignant - and this book is too. Well done to Henry and Angela for such an honest account of their experiences.

[Cat · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book was okay.
It was more autobiographical than I was expecting and might have been more enjoyable if I knew who the writers were.
I skimmed the poetry.

[Rosie Hughes · Rating 4 out of 5]

What an amazing family x

[Tracy Griffin · Rating 5 out of 5]

Moving. Empowering. Heartbreaking. Uplifting. Inspiring.

[Simon · Rating 5 out of 5]

Hugely helpful.

Thank you Henry, Angela and Johnny for spending time with me.

I’ll now pass it over to my wife who I’m sure will be equally grateful.

[Bel · Rating 3 out of 5]

Moving and full of interesting insights.

[Dan Stapleton · Rating 4 out of 5]

I like Henry and his chapters can be very insightful but Angela is the star of the book (aside from Jonny himself!). Her chapter "Looks, Persistence and Paddling like hell" is essential reading.

[Sal Noel · Rating 5 out of 5]

Picked up at a poetry reading.
I’d worked in SEND for 20 odd years. Recently retired but still found it honest and informative. Would recommend.

[Pauline · Rating 5 out of 5]

I read this book over 6 months ago but I still often think about it, it had a profound effect on me. The author wrote so clearly about the difficulties his family faced having a son with autism. However the story was never self pitying, rather positive about how they could change their behaviour and whole way of life to maximise their son's quality of life. A very moving and uplifting story.