How to Live Forever: The Enduring Power of Connecting the Generations

by Marc Freedman

Using this helpful book, learn how the secret to happiness and longevity can be found through mentoring the next generation.

In How to Live Forever , Encore.org founder and CEO Marc Freedman tells the story of his thirty-year quest to answer some of contemporary life's most urgent With so many living so much longer, what is the meaning of the increasing years beyond 50? How can a society with more older people than younger ones thrive? How do we find happiness when we know life is long and time is short?

In a poignant book that defies categorization, Freedman finds insights by exploring purpose and generativity, digging into the drive for longevity and the perils of age segregation, and talking to social innovators across the globe bringing the generations together for mutual benefit. He finds wisdom in stories from young and old, featuring ordinary people and icons like jazz great Clark Terry and basketball legend Kareem Abdul-Jabbar.

But the answers also come from stories of Freedman's own mentors—a sawmill worker turned surrogate grandparent, a university administrator who served as Einstein's driver, a cabinet secretary who won the Presidential Medal of Freedom, and the gym teacher who was Freedman's father.

How to Live Forever is a deeply personal call to find fulfillment and happiness in our longer lives by connecting with the next generation and forging a legacy of love that lives beyond us.

Genres: Nonfiction, Health, Cultural

224 pages, Hardcover

Published November 20, 2018

About the author

Marc Freedman, President and CEO of Encore.org, is one of the nation's leading experts on the longevity revolution.

He is a member of the Wall Street Journal's "Experts" panel, a frequent commentator in the media and the author of four books. The New York Times described his most recent book, The Big Shift: Navigating the New Stage Beyond Midlife, as "an imaginative work with the potential to affect our individual lives and our collective future." His new book, How to Live Forever, will be published by Hachette Book Group in November 2018.

Originator of the encore career idea linking second acts to the greater good, Freedman co-founded Experience Corps to mobilize people over 50 to improve the school performance and prospects of low-income elementary school students in 22 U.S. cities. He also spearheaded the creation of the Encore Fellowships program, a one-year fellowship helping individuals translate their midlife skills into second acts focused on social impact, and the Purpose Prize, an annual $100,000 prize for social entrepreneurs in the second half of life. (AARP now runs both Experience Corps and the Purpose Prize.)

Freedman was named Social Entrepreneur of the Year by the World Economic Forum, was recognized as one of the nation's leading social entrepreneurs by Fast Company magazine three years in a row, and has been honored with the Skoll Award for Social Entrepreneurship. He has been a visiting scholar at Stanford University, the David and Lucile Packard Foundation, and King's College, University of London.

Freedman serves on the boards and advisory councils of numerous groups, including The George Warren Brown School of Social Work at Washington University in St. Louis, the Stanford University Distinguished Careers Institute, the Milken Institute's Center for the Future of Aging, and the EnCorps STEM Teachers Program.

A high honors graduate of Swarthmore College, Freedman holds an M.B.A. from the Yale School of Management. He resides in the San Francisco Bay area with his wife, Leslie Gray, and their three sons.

Reviews

[Clif Hostetler · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book makes the case for different generations living life together. Humans have lived in intergenerational communities ever since we as a species left the African savannas. But recently we've manage to segregate the young to schools, middle aged in jobs, and older ones in senior citizen housing. This book makes the case that all generations would benefit from being part of each other's lives.

This book is the chronicle of a nascent moment that has the potential to make the more-old-than-young world work, both for society and for individuals of all ages, not only right now but into the future. It's the story of ... bringing into focus the power of older people investing in the next generation—and finding purpose, health, happiness, and even income while doing so. This book is an account of why their efforts matter, why they haven't yet realized their full potential as a movement, and what we can do to turn that around.

This book sites a longitudinal research study of all 698 children born in 1955 on the Hawaiian island of Kauai. It followed them from their beginnings in "grinding poverty, high levels of alcohol abuse and mental illness, and widespread family dysfunction for residents eking out a harsh living working on the island's sugar plantations." Many of the young people ended up struggling in life; that was expected. However, the breakthrough of the study was to understand those who managed to "overcome the odds," and proved to be "caring, competent and confident" adults. What did these resilient children have in common?

One factor stood out in particular: the presence of a caring adult beyond the immediate family—a mentor, an aunt, a coach, a teacher, a neighbor who took the younger person under his or her wing. Involvement in a community group like a church or the Y also proved to be an important buffer, as did a set of internal beliefs and attitudes that helped protect the individual from the full corrosive force of their circumstances.

However, there is an additional observation about these "resilient kids."

But those children also showed a remarkable ability to recruit these adults themselves. They seemed to possess, inherently, the skills required to forge relationships with caring adults.

So the next logical question is, "Would connecting caring adults with young people who didn't already have the internal wherewithal to find them on their own produce similar benefit?" This book then describes results from Big Brothers Big Sisters program which verifies that the answer is yes. This book then proceeds to provide numerous examples of programs that make use of older adults providing assistance to the lives of younger people.

The following is a touching excerpt from the book of an older woman telling her story about volunteering to spend time in the pediatrics ward of Maine Medial Center as a "Foster Grandparent."

I don't think I'd been here a year," Aggie continued, "when Sue Forth was head of the unit, and she asked me, 'How strong a person are you?' I said, 'Well, I've always prided myself that I was strong.' She says, 'We got a baby that is dying, and we promised that mother that her baby would not die in a crib. Do you think you could hold her?' Well, they put me in a room here, they kept checking on me, and that baby didn't die in no crib ... that baby died in my arms ... And I was always so grateful for that, I didn't feel fear ... I just felt good. You know how it is, Louise, when you just sit with them, and your heart's aching but you don't let them know it, that's all"

After the above and similar stories this book makes the statement, "No one who visited the pediatrics ward of Maine Medical Center could leave feeling that it was okay to create a society where older people like Aggie and Louise sat in isolated apartments watching TV while children were left abandoned in hospital wards a mile away."

[Nathan · Rating 4 out of 5]

Freedman explores the possibility of enriching the lives of our older generations by allowing them to utilize their wisdom/living experience/resources to usher in the younger generation.

Jam-packed with anecdotes and data about the elderly and their potential, the book actually focuses more on those golden years, citing examples of communities all over the world that are working to maximize the human capital of all of its inhabitants.

Freedman is asking a fantastic question: You’re retired at around, say, 65. You expect to live a few more decades, right? Would one really expect to just linger that whole time, waiting for the cold embrace of death? Most at least perform some level of what the author is suggesting (I know my mother spends a considerable amount of time watching grandchildren and teaching them), and still there are some that yearn to leave a legacy more lengthy than what they have going for them.

A book seemingly forged from decades of hard-learned lessons, pearls of imparted wisdom, and bittersweet reminders, Freedman here is communicating that we up the ante on a campaign that will reap near-incalculable benefits. JFK was for it and everybody likes him, right?


Many thanks to NetGalley, Perseus Books, and PublicAffairs for the advance read.

[Marie · Rating 5 out of 5]

Worlds death rate holding steady at 100%.

The individuals who were thriving had actually pruned their social ties so that they could concentrate more fully on the people who mattered most.

Those in middle age and beyond who invest in caring for and developing the next generation are three times as likely to be happy as those who fail to do so.

Combine purpose and a paycheck.

I am what survives of me.

Develop eulogy virtues not resume virtues.

Our task is not to be young, but to be there for those who actually are.

[Burns Cheadle · Rating 5 out of 5]

4.5 stars, rounded up to 5: a highly informative and heartfelt plea to older adults to take up the cause of investing the second half of their lives to building relationships with younger generations, for the good of all concerned. To be frank, I was predisposed to appreciate this book because of my personal involvement in promoting intergenerational connections and cogenerational leadership. Here’s what I did not expect: Marc Freedman makes his case by speaking from his heart, drawing on his deep relationships with older mentors and innovators who have worked to turn back the tide of age segregation in communities around the world. This is not a quick fix, self-help guide. It is a testimony, told with passion and vulnerability, that speaks to all of us to step up and act while we have the time to do so. Very Highly Recommended

[Sohaila Mohammadi · Rating 4 out of 5]

Humans are amazing creatures with the ability to turn impossibilities into possibilities. From inventing energy solutions to landing on the moon, we have continuously achieved remarkable feats. Humans will always play a vital role in achieving greater success. The idea of a multigenerational workforce, where older and younger generations collaborate, seems very positive and rewarding. However, I am afraid we are heading towards a future where robots may replace some of the work done by humans. I’m not sure if the concept of a multigenerational workforce will still be valid in such a scenario.

[Rick Weber · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a motivating book. When I retired almost four years ago, I took teacher education courses at a local community college with the intent of pursuing an encore career in teaching. I didn't pursue that intent partly because of what this book states: "teaching is brutal" and teachers are left "in a permanent state of agitation." Nevertheless, I am now motivated to try substitute teaching to see where that leads.

[Julie Capell · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wonderful examination of the "gray/brown divide" -- the gulf that society imposes between seniors and young people. The author has spent decades both researching and working on the front lines on projects that bring the generations together. In this book, he covers everything from housing segregation by age to the need for elders to mentor young people in schools to the need to accept mortality. Highly recommended!

[Listened to this as an audio book read by Lloyd James]

[Dorothy Greco · Rating 5 out of 5]

I stumbled across this book at our local library. I loved it, though I'm puzzled by the title. It's not a search for the fountain of youth. It's about how we can age well, leverage our wisdom, and connect to other generations. Some really out of the box ideas (like housing that's adaptable for all ages, Experience Corp, etc.) It's a quick read and very encouraging.

[Ceil · Rating 5 out of 5]

Terrific survey of the causes of the mindset that inadvertently deprives seniors of the chance to add value in their later years. Great examples of the surprisingly many efforts underway to reintegrate the generations.

[Keith · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is written primarily for people 50+, but (as a millennial) I find great comfort in Marc’s words. Our life’s work and purpose doesn’t end with our youth; in fact, our most important roles await us later in life.

[Ellen · Rating 2 out of 5]

This book didn't end up being what I was expecting. It was more anecdotal and memoir-esque whereas I was looking for something more research-based and nonfiction-styled. There were some interesting projects, organizations, and ideas presented, but it just wasn't my style of writing.

[Kelsey Keller · Rating 4 out of 5]

An inspiring book that really spoke to me. I have often felt that I have a calling to help other people, maybe a younger generation, after I have raised my own children.

[Jim Woolwine · Rating 3 out of 5]

Connecting the generations adds value to both the old, young, and the in betweens. Theme repeated with multiple examples from locations around the world. A challenge.

[Rebecca · Rating 5 out of 5]

Inspiring read!

[Steve · Rating 5 out of 5]

Another fine and important book by Marc Freedman. Found out about Table Wisdom and then interviewed Rey, who I would like to help.

[Maria Rupert · Rating 3 out of 5]

Insightful. Very readable non-fiction.

[Kara of BookishBytes · Rating 2 out of 5]

This seemed strangely pointless. It needed one strong thesis.

[Mary · Rating 5 out of 5]

Freedman gives a lot of examples of how to "live forever" centered around multigenerational activities and housing.
Well done.

[Katelynn Chase · Rating 2 out of 5]

First book in a long time I didn't want to finish

[Tegan · Rating 3 out of 5]

“Society grows great when older people plant trees under whose shade they shall never sit.” - Greek Proverb
⭐️ •
Our bodies do not live forever - as we seem to be reminded all too often these days. Why not make your time here on earth worthwhile? Spend time with the younger generations. Pass on wisdom from the years of experience and dare I say - our egregious mistakes. Perhaps our spirits will live forever in the hearts of those where we made a difference.
⭐️ •
We wait too long to show kindness,
To speak words of gratitude and concern...
We wait too long to set aside selfishness,
To give of our time and to share our bounty...
We wait too long to give the love,
Which may no longer be needed tomorrow.
In tribute to our departed, let us now resolve,
To wait no longer, to delay no more;
Rather, let us begin to do now,
Those good things which can be done today.

[Laura]

An interesting read about an interesting (and often overlooked topic). I enjoyed the first part of the book and reading about different experiments and projects to connect generations. Towards the end, it was highly repetitive and relied greatly on experience/stories from the two musicians. Overall, I enjoyed looking into this subject and it did make me think about death and relationships in a communal way.