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Developing Emotionally Mature Leaders: How Emotional Intelligence Can Help Transform Your Ministry
There are many things that make up a great leader. The ability to motivate, to see the big picture, to delegate. But perhaps just as important, if not more so, is the leader's emotional intelligence (EQ). How we feel impacts how we lead, and how those we lead feel about themselves when they're around us affects how well they follow our leadership. It follows then that if we want to be the most effective leaders, we must be emotionally mature.In this practical book, church leadership expert Aubrey Malphurs shows church and ministry leaders how to assess, understand, and improve both their own EQ and that of their followers, so that they can inspire the very best in their churches and organizations.
242 pages, Kindle Edition
Published April 17, 2018
27 people are currently reading
246 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 16 of 16 reviews
December 19, 2018
Well researched, but could use better biblical foundations
EQ is a hot and important topic in leadership. I was eager to see a book address the topic from a biblical perspective. But unfortunately, the biblical material was the weakest part of the book. The author uses many verses, often out of context, to erect a seemingly anachronistic framework (imposing modern ideas onto the ancient text) for understanding emotions.
The book is well-researched and based in some of the best EQ thinking available. And it accurately identifies many of the key EQ-related problems in ministry. It references numerous other tools to help. But unfortunately, the solutions given here were not very robust or satisfying.
EQ is a hot and important topic in leadership. I was eager to see a book address the topic from a biblical perspective. But unfortunately, the biblical material was the weakest part of the book. The author uses many verses, often out of context, to erect a seemingly anachronistic framework (imposing modern ideas onto the ancient text) for understanding emotions.
The book is well-researched and based in some of the best EQ thinking available. And it accurately identifies many of the key EQ-related problems in ministry. It references numerous other tools to help. But unfortunately, the solutions given here were not very robust or satisfying.
April 10, 2018
Developing Emotionally Mature Leaders by Aubrey Malphurs is designed with a specific purpose in mind - “to come up with a process or pathway that challenges Christian leaders to become more aware of, understand, and manage their emotions and those of others so that they can be emotionally mature leaders who relate well with and truly inspire.”
The book is arranged in three parts. Part One sets the stage by introducing readers to the concept of emotional intelligence (EI). Six assumptions about emotional intelligence undergird this section:
1. Emotionally mature Christians are spiritually mature believers.
2. The Godhead is characterized by emotions.
3. The hope of the world is an emotionally mature church.
4. Emotional intelligence is critically important to God-honoring leadership.
5. Scripture undergirds the importance of emotional maturity.
6. Emotions are central to what it means to be human and live life.
The author stresses the importance of emotions. “Great leaders,” writes Malphurs, “lead through the emotions. They move us. They ignite our passion and inspire the best in us.”
Part Two demonstrates the importance of emotional intelligence, which is defined as “an awareness of our emotions and the emotions of others around us so that we can handle well our emotions and theirs, with the result that we relate in a Christlike manner with those within or outside the body of faith.”
A biblical theology of emotions is presented and also includes a chapter that helps assess emotional maturity.
Part Three helps readers move forward in order to become emotionally mature. Several models are set forth here. Readers are encouraged to pick and choose the models that fit their unique situation.
Finally, this work includes an extensive set of appendices. A series of diagnostic tools are offered, which enable readers to honestly assess where they stand on the emotional intelligence continuum.
Summary
Developing Emotionally Mature Leaders effectively argues the necessity of managing one's emotions and moving forward in a way that glorifies and pleases God. The theme of sanctifying grace runs through these pages and urges readers to pursue a life of holiness.
One disappointing development is the absence of any insight by Jonathan Edwards. I cannot think of anyone in church history who more adequately addressed the matter of the affections. Jettisoning the fine work of Edwards is a critical oversight.
The book is arranged in three parts. Part One sets the stage by introducing readers to the concept of emotional intelligence (EI). Six assumptions about emotional intelligence undergird this section:
1. Emotionally mature Christians are spiritually mature believers.
2. The Godhead is characterized by emotions.
3. The hope of the world is an emotionally mature church.
4. Emotional intelligence is critically important to God-honoring leadership.
5. Scripture undergirds the importance of emotional maturity.
6. Emotions are central to what it means to be human and live life.
The author stresses the importance of emotions. “Great leaders,” writes Malphurs, “lead through the emotions. They move us. They ignite our passion and inspire the best in us.”
Part Two demonstrates the importance of emotional intelligence, which is defined as “an awareness of our emotions and the emotions of others around us so that we can handle well our emotions and theirs, with the result that we relate in a Christlike manner with those within or outside the body of faith.”
A biblical theology of emotions is presented and also includes a chapter that helps assess emotional maturity.
Part Three helps readers move forward in order to become emotionally mature. Several models are set forth here. Readers are encouraged to pick and choose the models that fit their unique situation.
Finally, this work includes an extensive set of appendices. A series of diagnostic tools are offered, which enable readers to honestly assess where they stand on the emotional intelligence continuum.
Summary
Developing Emotionally Mature Leaders effectively argues the necessity of managing one's emotions and moving forward in a way that glorifies and pleases God. The theme of sanctifying grace runs through these pages and urges readers to pursue a life of holiness.
One disappointing development is the absence of any insight by Jonathan Edwards. I cannot think of anyone in church history who more adequately addressed the matter of the affections. Jettisoning the fine work of Edwards is a critical oversight.
May 4, 2018
Aubrey Malphurs, Developing Emotionally Mature Leaders. (Grand Rapids: Baker, 2018). $16.99.
Aubrey Malphurs wants the leaders of churches to be emotionally mature. The popular lingo calls this area “emotional intelligence,” “EI,” or “EQ.” Malphur’s book, Developing Emotionally Mature Leaders breaks down into four main sections. The first part introduces the reader to the concept of emotional intelligence and its background, the second section brings together definitions, modern scientific study of the brain, and a biblical theology of emotions. The third section provides a couple widely accepted models for emotional growth. What I am considering the fourth section is actually the appendix, as it constitutes approximately one-third of the pages. In the appendix, the reader finds many practical resources and basic assessments.
In the first chapter, I encounter a cringe-worthy statement under one of the six primary assumptions of emotional intelligence. The author states as the third assumption: “The hope of the world is an emotionally mature church” (16). While I will not assume the author seeks to minimize the essential nature of the gospel and the coming of the Kingdom of God, this sentence is distracting and potentially misleading. Through the rest of part one, multiple brief chapters cover the components, history, and importance of EQ.
At the beginning of part two, Malphurs defines emotional intelligence as “an awareness of our emotions and the emotions of others around us so that we can handle well our emotions and theirs (especially the harmful ones), with the result that we relate in a Christlike manner with those within or outside the body of faith.” The author looks at what he considered the seven primary emotions according to Scripture: love, joy, hope, jealousy, fear, sorrow, and anger (48-56). He then explains a few different popular models of primary emotions, as there is no consensus among researchers/psychologist. In chapters seven and eight, Malphurs works through a biblical theology of emotions. The conclusion of part two, chapter nine, provides a summary of some popular assessments for emotional intelligence.
Part three walks through the three popular models, and then provides a Leadership Model which draws from Scripture and the other models.
Overall, Malphurs book should be read and considered by many church leaders. Many might find it more helpful to read the secular books first. I generally like reading what the secular authors have written myself because I usually will disagree with the Christian author’s attempt to integrate the material. For example, I do have minor qualms with Malphurs’ understanding of emotion. Without getting into the science, I think the explanation given isn’t the most helpful. Nevertheless, I think Christians can benefit from engaging in this discussion.
Too often Christians embrace the stereotypes of men not having emotions and women being controlled by them. Our culture has taught us these things, and they have not been questioned by many. Malphurs draws attention to the need for leaders to understand their emotions and manage them. In our age, men are taught to suppress certain “negative” emotions, and yet we later see them explode with anger. So often our culture teaches that anger is manly, while not appropriate for women. At the same time, many Christians have been taught all anger is a sin. David tells us in Psalm 4:4 to “Be angry, and do not sin; ponder in your own hearts on your beds, and be silent.” Rather than ignoring our emotions, we are to understand them and their causes. This is what it means to be emotionally intelligent.
I received a complimentary copy of this book from the publisher for review purposes. My comments are independent and my own.
Aubrey Malphurs wants the leaders of churches to be emotionally mature. The popular lingo calls this area “emotional intelligence,” “EI,” or “EQ.” Malphur’s book, Developing Emotionally Mature Leaders breaks down into four main sections. The first part introduces the reader to the concept of emotional intelligence and its background, the second section brings together definitions, modern scientific study of the brain, and a biblical theology of emotions. The third section provides a couple widely accepted models for emotional growth. What I am considering the fourth section is actually the appendix, as it constitutes approximately one-third of the pages. In the appendix, the reader finds many practical resources and basic assessments.
In the first chapter, I encounter a cringe-worthy statement under one of the six primary assumptions of emotional intelligence. The author states as the third assumption: “The hope of the world is an emotionally mature church” (16). While I will not assume the author seeks to minimize the essential nature of the gospel and the coming of the Kingdom of God, this sentence is distracting and potentially misleading. Through the rest of part one, multiple brief chapters cover the components, history, and importance of EQ.
At the beginning of part two, Malphurs defines emotional intelligence as “an awareness of our emotions and the emotions of others around us so that we can handle well our emotions and theirs (especially the harmful ones), with the result that we relate in a Christlike manner with those within or outside the body of faith.” The author looks at what he considered the seven primary emotions according to Scripture: love, joy, hope, jealousy, fear, sorrow, and anger (48-56). He then explains a few different popular models of primary emotions, as there is no consensus among researchers/psychologist. In chapters seven and eight, Malphurs works through a biblical theology of emotions. The conclusion of part two, chapter nine, provides a summary of some popular assessments for emotional intelligence.
Part three walks through the three popular models, and then provides a Leadership Model which draws from Scripture and the other models.
Overall, Malphurs book should be read and considered by many church leaders. Many might find it more helpful to read the secular books first. I generally like reading what the secular authors have written myself because I usually will disagree with the Christian author’s attempt to integrate the material. For example, I do have minor qualms with Malphurs’ understanding of emotion. Without getting into the science, I think the explanation given isn’t the most helpful. Nevertheless, I think Christians can benefit from engaging in this discussion.
Too often Christians embrace the stereotypes of men not having emotions and women being controlled by them. Our culture has taught us these things, and they have not been questioned by many. Malphurs draws attention to the need for leaders to understand their emotions and manage them. In our age, men are taught to suppress certain “negative” emotions, and yet we later see them explode with anger. So often our culture teaches that anger is manly, while not appropriate for women. At the same time, many Christians have been taught all anger is a sin. David tells us in Psalm 4:4 to “Be angry, and do not sin; ponder in your own hearts on your beds, and be silent.” Rather than ignoring our emotions, we are to understand them and their causes. This is what it means to be emotionally intelligent.
I received a complimentary copy of this book from the publisher for review purposes. My comments are independent and my own.
August 2, 2018
As a youth pastor, I am a leader.
I lead students, adult and student leaders, parents, and in a variety of ways, colleagues.
As such, I constantly want to grow in my leadership skills. For that reason, I was excited to read Aubrey Malphurs' Developing Emotionally Mature Leaders: How Emotional Intelligence Can Help Transform Your Ministry.
The first thing to know about this book is that it reads more like a reference book – even an encyclopedia – than anything else. While it’s easy to digest in small chunks, it’s more difficult to explore all at once because the writing itself is not particularly compelling or story-driven. That said, Developing Emotionally Mature Leaders makes an excellent resource for any leader.
One of the things I appreciated about Aubrey is his clear articulation (and debunking) of the myth that emotions should be feared because they indicate “weakness and vulnerability.” I also appreciated that Aubrey’s work on emotions is grounded in both Scripture and research. He points his readers to Scriptural helps as well as secular tools designed to help them better assess and understand their emotions (and those of the people around them).
For me, the most interesting part of Developing Emotionally Mature Leaders was the chapter on various emotional maturity models. I especially appreciated the exploration of the Bar-On Model and Emotionally Healthy Pastoral Leadership. Aubrey focuses on the research of Jared Roth who uses this model to explore the relationship between emotional intelligence and pastoral leadership in turnaround churches. Jared found that “there were significant emotional intelligence differences between pastors of growing and declining churches on five factors: Emotional self-awareness: to be aware of and understand your emotions; Assertiveness: To effectively and constructively express your emotions and oneself; Independence: To be self-reliant and free of emotional dependency on others; Flexibility: the ability to adapt and adjust one’s feelings and thinking to new situations; And optimism: to be positive and look at the brighter side of life.” As a church worker, this fascinates me and fits with my experience.
Late in Developing Emotionally Mature Leaders, Aubrey states, “Leadership and team building specialist Paul Ford has worked with hundreds of church and mission agency leadership teams. He estimates that fewer than 5 percent are healthy teams.” Perhaps, with a greater understanding of emotional intelligence and maturity, the number of healthy teams within churches will increase. I certainly hope so. Developing Emotionally Mature Leaders has the potential to help do this by equipping leaders to take stock of their own emotional maturity and develop it in those they lead.
I lead students, adult and student leaders, parents, and in a variety of ways, colleagues.
As such, I constantly want to grow in my leadership skills. For that reason, I was excited to read Aubrey Malphurs' Developing Emotionally Mature Leaders: How Emotional Intelligence Can Help Transform Your Ministry.
The first thing to know about this book is that it reads more like a reference book – even an encyclopedia – than anything else. While it’s easy to digest in small chunks, it’s more difficult to explore all at once because the writing itself is not particularly compelling or story-driven. That said, Developing Emotionally Mature Leaders makes an excellent resource for any leader.
One of the things I appreciated about Aubrey is his clear articulation (and debunking) of the myth that emotions should be feared because they indicate “weakness and vulnerability.” I also appreciated that Aubrey’s work on emotions is grounded in both Scripture and research. He points his readers to Scriptural helps as well as secular tools designed to help them better assess and understand their emotions (and those of the people around them).
For me, the most interesting part of Developing Emotionally Mature Leaders was the chapter on various emotional maturity models. I especially appreciated the exploration of the Bar-On Model and Emotionally Healthy Pastoral Leadership. Aubrey focuses on the research of Jared Roth who uses this model to explore the relationship between emotional intelligence and pastoral leadership in turnaround churches. Jared found that “there were significant emotional intelligence differences between pastors of growing and declining churches on five factors: Emotional self-awareness: to be aware of and understand your emotions; Assertiveness: To effectively and constructively express your emotions and oneself; Independence: To be self-reliant and free of emotional dependency on others; Flexibility: the ability to adapt and adjust one’s feelings and thinking to new situations; And optimism: to be positive and look at the brighter side of life.” As a church worker, this fascinates me and fits with my experience.
Late in Developing Emotionally Mature Leaders, Aubrey states, “Leadership and team building specialist Paul Ford has worked with hundreds of church and mission agency leadership teams. He estimates that fewer than 5 percent are healthy teams.” Perhaps, with a greater understanding of emotional intelligence and maturity, the number of healthy teams within churches will increase. I certainly hope so. Developing Emotionally Mature Leaders has the potential to help do this by equipping leaders to take stock of their own emotional maturity and develop it in those they lead.
August 9, 2018
Aubrey Malphurs believes that emotional immaturity dooms ministry teams to failure. The purpose of Developing Emotionally Mature Leadersis to raise their “emotional intelligence” and thus contribute to their effectiveness. Toward that end, he proposes a “model” of emotionally intelligence that takes into account four skills: “emotional self-awareness, emotional self-management, understanding others’ emotions, and others’ emotional management.” This Biblically grounded, scientifically informed book is a good reminder that “how you feel impacts how you lead, and how followers feel when around and led by you affects how well they will follow your leadership.”
Book Reviewed
Aubrey Malphurs, Developing Emotionally Mature Leaders: How Emotional Intelligence Can Transform Your Ministry (Grand Rapids, MI: Baker Books, 2018).
P.S. If you found my review helpful, please vote "Yes" on my Amazon.com review page.
P.P.S. This review is cross-posted from InfluenceMagazine.com with permission.
Book Reviewed
Aubrey Malphurs, Developing Emotionally Mature Leaders: How Emotional Intelligence Can Transform Your Ministry (Grand Rapids, MI: Baker Books, 2018).
P.S. If you found my review helpful, please vote "Yes" on my Amazon.com review page.
P.P.S. This review is cross-posted from InfluenceMagazine.com with permission.
May 7, 2018
Developing Emotionally Mature Leaders by Aubrey Malphurs, professor of Pastoral Ministries at Dallas Theological Seminary and author of over a dozen books on church consulting, leads Pastors, church staff and lay people to a better understanding of emotional maturity. He spends considerable time in the first half of the book defining emotions, presenting the different historical view points and research of leaders in the field, and describing what an emotionally mature leader is. Scripture is referenced throughout the text and presented as where our emotions come from and how we should see them in light of God's word. I found myself wondering, however, why he seemed to be ok with linking behavior and emotions so closely. He made points about emotions driving behavior and vice versa but there wasn't an argument for the fact that yes our emotions do drive our behavior but that shouldn't be the case. My emotions should not be driving my life train. When I allow emotions to drive the train of my life, I get erratic behavior. Emotions can lie. Instead of allowing emotions to drive our train, truth found in God's word should be what drives us. This doesn't mean that emotions should be ignored, just that they shouldn't be allowed to excuse or decide behavior. A problem arises when we let feelings dictate and determine who we are and what we do. I must find truth in God's word and let it drive me, let it determine my behavior. This truth doesn't lie; can't lie. Malphurs seems to promote a view that is heavily promoting feelings & emotions.
You don't really get into the meat of the book until half way through. The best part is in the appendix. I'm sure people overlook this part of the book because on quick skim through all you might see is assessment. Tucked inside the assessment is application and step by step methods to increase emotional maturity and learn how to be a better leader. Had I skipped the appendices, I would have rated this book 3 stars at most. I felt like the first half of the book and the appendices were disjointed; like there was two books put together. I would have been happy with a simple review of the first half and more expounding information in the second. For example, more practical examples and stories of others would be helpful to illustrate concepts and ideas. The information presented in the appendices is very practical and useful for all types of leaders and I felt like I wanted more. I wanted more connection to my lack of ability to change myself. It was heavy on I- what I can do to change me. It's only through the power of the Holy Spirit that my heart and thus my behavior (in relation to myself and my feelings and others) can be changed.
Overall, this book has good useful information. As with all books, you have to take some of it with a grain of salt. I feel like I can use the information found in this book to increase my leadership effectiveness. "How people feel about themselves when they are around you is vital to the effectiveness of your leadership and the influence that you exert on them for Christ." (Developing Emotionally Mature Leaders p 138)
I received a copy of this book from the publisher in exchange for my honest review.
You don't really get into the meat of the book until half way through. The best part is in the appendix. I'm sure people overlook this part of the book because on quick skim through all you might see is assessment. Tucked inside the assessment is application and step by step methods to increase emotional maturity and learn how to be a better leader. Had I skipped the appendices, I would have rated this book 3 stars at most. I felt like the first half of the book and the appendices were disjointed; like there was two books put together. I would have been happy with a simple review of the first half and more expounding information in the second. For example, more practical examples and stories of others would be helpful to illustrate concepts and ideas. The information presented in the appendices is very practical and useful for all types of leaders and I felt like I wanted more. I wanted more connection to my lack of ability to change myself. It was heavy on I- what I can do to change me. It's only through the power of the Holy Spirit that my heart and thus my behavior (in relation to myself and my feelings and others) can be changed.
Overall, this book has good useful information. As with all books, you have to take some of it with a grain of salt. I feel like I can use the information found in this book to increase my leadership effectiveness. "How people feel about themselves when they are around you is vital to the effectiveness of your leadership and the influence that you exert on them for Christ." (Developing Emotionally Mature Leaders p 138)
I received a copy of this book from the publisher in exchange for my honest review.
May 29, 2018
The idea of emotional intelligence intrigues me. At this point, I haven't been able to do a lot of reading on it yet because of other time commitments. So, when I saw Aubrey Malphurs new book, Developing Emotionally Mature Leaders: How Emotional Intelligence Can Help Transform Your Ministry, I was excited to start reading.
I went into this book hoping for a greater understanding of what emotional intelligence is and how it impacts the way we lead others. Because I have not yet done much research, I read Developing Emotionally Mature Leaders as a blank slate.
Malphurs sought to provide a basic introduction to emotional intelligence, help the reader understand it better, and then put into practice habits that will help you become a more emotionally mature leader.
Developing Emotionally Mature Leaders gives a very broad overview of emotional intelligence, from the viewpoints of several who have studied what it is and how it applies to life and leadership.
I wanted to learn so much from this book. However, I felt like the chapters were disjointed and confusing. Several times, Malphurs stops in the middle of a thought to say he will address it in the future. A few times, the same topic was broken up into multiple chapters, which also made the book feel more disjointed to me. Another struggle for me in reading was that I couldn't discern whether this book was meant to function more as a workbook, as a textbook, or a non-fiction book that is giving a broader overview of a topic.
As someone coming into the topic with a blank slate, I would have benefited from more time spent on providing examples of how emotional intelligence is played out in leadership. The few examples provided were of leaders who failed, and I felt like those examples were unnecessary to the point being made and distracting.
Perhaps if you've already done some research on emotional intelligence, you will find this book more beneficial. Half of the book is resources to help the reader better develop their emotional intelligence, which makes the book a valuable resource.
I received a copy of this book from the publisher. This review is my own, honest opinions.
I went into this book hoping for a greater understanding of what emotional intelligence is and how it impacts the way we lead others. Because I have not yet done much research, I read Developing Emotionally Mature Leaders as a blank slate.
Malphurs sought to provide a basic introduction to emotional intelligence, help the reader understand it better, and then put into practice habits that will help you become a more emotionally mature leader.
Developing Emotionally Mature Leaders gives a very broad overview of emotional intelligence, from the viewpoints of several who have studied what it is and how it applies to life and leadership.
I wanted to learn so much from this book. However, I felt like the chapters were disjointed and confusing. Several times, Malphurs stops in the middle of a thought to say he will address it in the future. A few times, the same topic was broken up into multiple chapters, which also made the book feel more disjointed to me. Another struggle for me in reading was that I couldn't discern whether this book was meant to function more as a workbook, as a textbook, or a non-fiction book that is giving a broader overview of a topic.
As someone coming into the topic with a blank slate, I would have benefited from more time spent on providing examples of how emotional intelligence is played out in leadership. The few examples provided were of leaders who failed, and I felt like those examples were unnecessary to the point being made and distracting.
Perhaps if you've already done some research on emotional intelligence, you will find this book more beneficial. Half of the book is resources to help the reader better develop their emotional intelligence, which makes the book a valuable resource.
I received a copy of this book from the publisher. This review is my own, honest opinions.
June 3, 2018
This is a rather mediocre book, especially when you compare it to Aubrey Malphurs' other titles. After all, he is one of my favourite authors when it comes to Ecclesiology and Church Growth. At first, I thought it was because of my academic background in Psychology that made me feel that the book lacked substance and depth, but it seems that my gut feel was affirmed by the other reviewers on good reads as well. This book would appeal only to the extremely novice readers, for example, missionary teams made up of teenagers. Adults would probably be frustrated at the content.
The opening story caught my attention, but it promised too much of a magical solution to self-combusting missionary teams. The content was strangely unengaging and a chore to go through; I had to force myself to keep reading. It felt like he was harping on the same point over and over again, and I was hoping that Malphurs would "get on with it!" The nail in the coffin was how it seemed rather weak on theology (even though he had two chapters about the "biblical theology" of emotions") and if I were blunt, seemed more of a proof text approach. I can only hope that this is a rushed piece of work and that subsequent revisions would be thoroughly edited, and not that he has exhausted all ideas and can now only produce a subpar material. Unfortunately, I cannot recommend this book.
I received this book from Baker Publishing Group for the purposes of providing an unbiased review. All views are my own.
The opening story caught my attention, but it promised too much of a magical solution to self-combusting missionary teams. The content was strangely unengaging and a chore to go through; I had to force myself to keep reading. It felt like he was harping on the same point over and over again, and I was hoping that Malphurs would "get on with it!" The nail in the coffin was how it seemed rather weak on theology (even though he had two chapters about the "biblical theology" of emotions") and if I were blunt, seemed more of a proof text approach. I can only hope that this is a rushed piece of work and that subsequent revisions would be thoroughly edited, and not that he has exhausted all ideas and can now only produce a subpar material. Unfortunately, I cannot recommend this book.
I received this book from Baker Publishing Group for the purposes of providing an unbiased review. All views are my own.
August 16, 2025
I always appreciate Malphurs' work on leadership culture and emotional intelligence. We need healthy Christians, healthy churches, and healthy ministry leaders. So, in part, I'm glad people are writing books about it. But also, in part, I cringe at a lot of the content surrounding these conversations.
This book is divided into three parts. Part 1 serves as an introduction to the concept of emotional intelligence; the second section brings together definitions, modern scientific study of the brain, and a biblical theology of emotions; and the third section provides an overview of some of the widely accepted models for emotional growth. A massive appendix fills the rest of the book with practical resources and basic assessments.
Developing Emotionally Mature Leaders is one of those elementary entries into the conversation surrounding EQ and leadership. While it's far from the best or most researched, it is still worth reading for the "Christian grounding" it provides.
This book is divided into three parts. Part 1 serves as an introduction to the concept of emotional intelligence; the second section brings together definitions, modern scientific study of the brain, and a biblical theology of emotions; and the third section provides an overview of some of the widely accepted models for emotional growth. A massive appendix fills the rest of the book with practical resources and basic assessments.
Developing Emotionally Mature Leaders is one of those elementary entries into the conversation surrounding EQ and leadership. While it's far from the best or most researched, it is still worth reading for the "Christian grounding" it provides.
April 14, 2018
Developing Emotionally Mature Leaders: How Emotional Intelligence Can Help Transform Your Ministry by Aubrey Malphurs is a helpful book that examines the relationship between emotional intelligence and leadership. Who we are on the inside manifests itself on the outside, and it is vital that a strong leader is emotionally mature.
I like the idea that you can develop emotionally mature leaders – that their emotional intelligence is not set in stone. The book is a good study on what it means to be a great leader. Readers learn how to assess emotional maturity and look for emotional disorders. The book nicely discusses emotional intelligence in a psychological context while looking at emotional intelligence through a Biblical lens.
I received this book for review.
I like the idea that you can develop emotionally mature leaders – that their emotional intelligence is not set in stone. The book is a good study on what it means to be a great leader. Readers learn how to assess emotional maturity and look for emotional disorders. The book nicely discusses emotional intelligence in a psychological context while looking at emotional intelligence through a Biblical lens.
I received this book for review.
April 24, 2018
Developing Emotionally Mature Leaders, by Aubrey Maulphurs is really an assessment textbook on the nature of emotionally mature leaders and the skill sets that hinder or help effective leaders. Graphs and audits (simple tests) abound as do brief explanations of various writers’ approaches to the many aspects of this topic. As evidence of the workbook nature of this book, the last 85 pages of the book are all appendices which explain different skills needed in emotional maturity and provide simple tests for the reader to assess their own strengths and weaknesses in that skill. The book serves not so much as an information book to read, but as a workbook to study and work through.
3 stars M.L. Codman-Wilson, PhD 4/26/18
3 stars M.L. Codman-Wilson, PhD 4/26/18
April 8, 2018
Developing Emotionally Mature Leaders is an informative read that is full of scripture and leadership advice. A book that is sure to help anyone who is in a leadership position to achieve more. How you feel impacts how you lead and what kind of a leader you are. When your followers feel that you are secure and grounded, it will affect how well they follow your lead. This would be a perfect read for anyone who is in a leadership role whether it is ministry or another field. A read that is full of insights and helpful information.
October 25, 2018
Comprehensive overview. Would need to reference other works to go deep and make this practical. Not a particularly engaging read.
December 30, 2023
This was a very disappointing book, and I’m sad to say that it’s the worst I’ve read on the subject of emotions and emotional intelligence. I read another book by Malphurs a few years ago that I loved, so I simply expected this one to be way better. I stuck it out, because he appears to be a good researcher and each section sounds promising. Unfortunately, at best the content is very minimally helpful at some points, but at worst I think it could make some of the people who most need to understand emotions more inept at doing so, since somehow this book is thorough yet lacks critical nuance. I could imagine a more academically-inclined seminarian or church leader, who loves knowledge and theology but lacks many people skills, reading this book and feeling confident they have high EQ—after all, they read a whole book on it from a seminary professor! But this book doesn’t help a person truly understand emotions and personal connection. I believe it creates overly complicated structures that could actually hinder emotional development by making emotions more convoluted than they need to be and thus less discernible.
Overall, I can think of numerous other books that do an excellent job and much more effectively achieve the intent of the author than this one. So for those thinking of reading this book, don’t waste your time. Go buy “The Emotionally Healthy Leader” by Peter Scazzero or “Cry of the Soul” by Dan Allender and Tremper Longman. This book will only confuse beginners and exasperate those further along in the EQ journey.
Part of me feels genuinely bad about leaving such a poor review, but I don’t remember a single reading session that didn’t leave me frustrated with it. So after sticking it out for the 230 or so pages, I have to say there’s not a single section I’d recommend as worth a person’s time. I originally gave this book two stars for effort, but four years later I'm downgrading to one star. Frankly, it's a book that adds nothing to the discourse and I think has the possibility to create more harm than good. It should not have been written.
And Dr. Malphurs, if you were to ever read this review, you seem very kind and I’ve loved other pieces of your work. Thanks for your life of service, writing, teaching, and leading. My review of this particular book should in no way reflect on the quality of Dr. Malphurs’ larger body of work, which is a great gift to the Church.
Overall, I can think of numerous other books that do an excellent job and much more effectively achieve the intent of the author than this one. So for those thinking of reading this book, don’t waste your time. Go buy “The Emotionally Healthy Leader” by Peter Scazzero or “Cry of the Soul” by Dan Allender and Tremper Longman. This book will only confuse beginners and exasperate those further along in the EQ journey.
Part of me feels genuinely bad about leaving such a poor review, but I don’t remember a single reading session that didn’t leave me frustrated with it. So after sticking it out for the 230 or so pages, I have to say there’s not a single section I’d recommend as worth a person’s time. I originally gave this book two stars for effort, but four years later I'm downgrading to one star. Frankly, it's a book that adds nothing to the discourse and I think has the possibility to create more harm than good. It should not have been written.
And Dr. Malphurs, if you were to ever read this review, you seem very kind and I’ve loved other pieces of your work. Thanks for your life of service, writing, teaching, and leading. My review of this particular book should in no way reflect on the quality of Dr. Malphurs’ larger body of work, which is a great gift to the Church.
April 13, 2018
Developing Emotionally Mature Leaders.
By Aubrey Malphurs
4 Stars.
Every organisation needs leaders that are emotionally mature, and the church is no exception.
This book, written in parts provides an orientation to the world of emotional intelligence; develops within leaders an understanding of emotional intelligence from a biblical perspective and guides leaders in measuring their own emotional maturity as well practical strategies for developing emotional maturity; while the final part examines leadership development models and investigates a worldview of Christian and secular models.
The book aims to convince you that emotional intelligence is important to the world of Christian leadership.
There are many things that make up a great leader. The ability to motivate, to see the big picture, to delegate. But perhaps just as important, if not more so, is the leader's emotional intelligence (EQ). How we feel impacts how we lead, and how those we lead feel about themselves when they're around us affects how well they follow our leadership. It follows then that if we want to be the most effective leaders, we must be emotionally mature.
In this practical book, church leadership expert Aubrey Malphurs shows church and ministry leaders how to assess, understand, and improve both their own EQ and that of their followers, so that they can inspire the very best in their churches and organizations.
While I found the background, history and models (secular and Christian) interesting and educational, it was the models of developing leaders that i gained the most from.
I also found it valuable that there was more than one model and set of strategies to work from. The book, from a Christian perspective, sits well beside Daniel Goleman's books.
The book is suited to those in leadership, developing leaders, and those in Christian leadership development to ensure effective practices within your church or organisation.
#DevelopingEmotionallyMatureLeaders #NetGalley
By Aubrey Malphurs
4 Stars.
Every organisation needs leaders that are emotionally mature, and the church is no exception.
This book, written in parts provides an orientation to the world of emotional intelligence; develops within leaders an understanding of emotional intelligence from a biblical perspective and guides leaders in measuring their own emotional maturity as well practical strategies for developing emotional maturity; while the final part examines leadership development models and investigates a worldview of Christian and secular models.
The book aims to convince you that emotional intelligence is important to the world of Christian leadership.
There are many things that make up a great leader. The ability to motivate, to see the big picture, to delegate. But perhaps just as important, if not more so, is the leader's emotional intelligence (EQ). How we feel impacts how we lead, and how those we lead feel about themselves when they're around us affects how well they follow our leadership. It follows then that if we want to be the most effective leaders, we must be emotionally mature.
In this practical book, church leadership expert Aubrey Malphurs shows church and ministry leaders how to assess, understand, and improve both their own EQ and that of their followers, so that they can inspire the very best in their churches and organizations.
While I found the background, history and models (secular and Christian) interesting and educational, it was the models of developing leaders that i gained the most from.
I also found it valuable that there was more than one model and set of strategies to work from. The book, from a Christian perspective, sits well beside Daniel Goleman's books.
The book is suited to those in leadership, developing leaders, and those in Christian leadership development to ensure effective practices within your church or organisation.
#DevelopingEmotionallyMatureLeaders #NetGalley
July 6, 2018
Our emotions are critically important for effective ministry and mature leadership. Learning to manage and cultivate our emotional well-being is key in leadership. For author Aubrey Malphurs, this is also known as "emotionally mature leadership." While skills can be taught and experience can be gained, maturity is something else altogether. It is closely linked to our emotional conditions. The author puts forth six reasons why.
Emotionally mature believers are also spiritually mature
The Godhead is characterized by emotions
An emotionally mature church is a symbol of hope to the world
Emotionally intelligence is crucial for God-honouring leadership
Scripture affirms the importance of emotional maturity
Emotions are central to the human being and living.
He begins the book with a discussion of emotional intelligence, tracing all the way back to philosophers like Plato, psychologists like Peter Salovey, John Mayer, and Daniel Goleman, and many others. In a world that elevates objectivity above all things, it may have unwittingly downplayed the role of subjective behaviour. Without awareness, one could make relational mistakes unknowingly. They could miss out biblical insights about human emotions. They miss out on the positives of emotional strengths such as teamwork, communications, conflict resolutions, routine interactions, and many more. Leading well means having healthy emotional intelligence. This is about being aware of ourselves as well as others' emotions. It is about being able to handle the negative emotions too, both ours and others. I appreciate the space Malphurs gave to distinguish emotions from moods and temperament. Moods are short-term feelings and temperaments are "hardwired preferences." Emotions on the other hand are unique, unplanned, and subconscious. They are not feelings but they produce feelings. We learn about the seven primary emotions in the Bible before being introduced to Robert Plutchik's eight primary, secondary emotions, and the subsequent varied emotional intensities. If that is insufficient, we get a few more emotional models to compare with. He makes great effort to link the modern study of psychology with the biblical principles. For instance, he uses the Christian triad of faith, hope, and love to contrast with illegitimate fear. Several exercises are included to help readers deal with their own set of emotions as well. Whether emotions are perceived good or bad, right or wrong, appropriate or not, we do well to recognize their reality in us so that we know how to deal with them constructively. Part Three deals with the how-to in developing emotional maturity. Like the way the seven deadly vices are contrasted with the seven virtues, Malphurs contrasts the five unhealthy emotions with the opposites. Hate is contrasted with love; sorrow with joy; fear with hope; dread with anticipation; and distrust with trust. Finally, we get a set of leadership emotions that we can cultivate. The author supplies a whole list of things we can do to help us improve our emotional maturity.
We can audit our own emotions
We can detect emotional disorders
We build up listening skills
We practice conflict resolution
We develop networking skills
We take risks
We solve problems
We learn to confront in a constructive manner
We build trust
We learn to encourage others
We work on team building
We initiate name recognition.
These and many more form the study, audit, and development of one's emotional strengths and weaknesses.
Three Thoughts
First, in an objective-oriented world, emotions is something we tend to shun. Plenty of resources focus on the how and what to do. Even Christian ministry is not immune to such thinking. As a result, the Church is greatly impoverished when we downplay something as important as human emotions. Thankfully, Malphurs has put his finger on an important issue: Leaders need to learn how to develop their emotions toward maturity. I think of a recent book by Peter Scazzero, who wrote the bestselling book: "The Emotionally Healthy Church" and "The Emotionally Healthy Leader." Compared to Scazzero's books, I feel that this book tends to bring more systematic study of emotions. Simply put, this book is relatively more academic than Scazzero's version. However, both emphasize the critical role emotions play in ministry. I am glad that there is another resource to champion the importance of emotional development in leadership and ministry.
Second, I appreciate the many applications the author has given with regard to emotions. Instead of mere individual emotional development, leadership also involves being aware of others; the way team works; and how to manage the mix of varied emotions. From self-audit to group activities; decision making to risk taking; confrontation to encouragement, there are many areas that emotional development can venture into. There are more. In fact, different emotions arise at different circumstances and personal phases of life. The more self-aware we are, the better we are able to apply the lessons in this book. That is why I would suggest readers take time to do self-audit and honesty. It is tempting to read this book with an overly optimistic sense of self. For that matter, we could also swing to the other extreme of pessimism. For both, we must tamper that with reality and authenticity.
Finally, this book could be improved with more real life cases. Perhaps, it is the seminary slant that Malphurs comes from, where the materials in the book tend to be more theoretical. This is necessary but readers may become lost in the ocean of ideas. We connect better with stories and this is where Scazzero's books fare better.
In general, this is a good book to trigger self-awareness and personal reflection. We get biblical perspectives on emotional well-being. For that, I would recommend this book as a primer toward emotional education and emotional intelligence.
Aubrey Malphurs is professor of pastoral ministries at Dallas Theological Seminary. He founded the Church consulting group, Malphurs Group in 1972 and has written many books on leadership, pastoral matters, and Church ministry.
Rating: 4 stars of 5.
conrade
This book has been provided courtesy of Baker Books and NetGalley without requiring a positive review. All opinions offered above are mine unless otherwise stated or implied.
Emotionally mature believers are also spiritually mature
The Godhead is characterized by emotions
An emotionally mature church is a symbol of hope to the world
Emotionally intelligence is crucial for God-honouring leadership
Scripture affirms the importance of emotional maturity
Emotions are central to the human being and living.
He begins the book with a discussion of emotional intelligence, tracing all the way back to philosophers like Plato, psychologists like Peter Salovey, John Mayer, and Daniel Goleman, and many others. In a world that elevates objectivity above all things, it may have unwittingly downplayed the role of subjective behaviour. Without awareness, one could make relational mistakes unknowingly. They could miss out biblical insights about human emotions. They miss out on the positives of emotional strengths such as teamwork, communications, conflict resolutions, routine interactions, and many more. Leading well means having healthy emotional intelligence. This is about being aware of ourselves as well as others' emotions. It is about being able to handle the negative emotions too, both ours and others. I appreciate the space Malphurs gave to distinguish emotions from moods and temperament. Moods are short-term feelings and temperaments are "hardwired preferences." Emotions on the other hand are unique, unplanned, and subconscious. They are not feelings but they produce feelings. We learn about the seven primary emotions in the Bible before being introduced to Robert Plutchik's eight primary, secondary emotions, and the subsequent varied emotional intensities. If that is insufficient, we get a few more emotional models to compare with. He makes great effort to link the modern study of psychology with the biblical principles. For instance, he uses the Christian triad of faith, hope, and love to contrast with illegitimate fear. Several exercises are included to help readers deal with their own set of emotions as well. Whether emotions are perceived good or bad, right or wrong, appropriate or not, we do well to recognize their reality in us so that we know how to deal with them constructively. Part Three deals with the how-to in developing emotional maturity. Like the way the seven deadly vices are contrasted with the seven virtues, Malphurs contrasts the five unhealthy emotions with the opposites. Hate is contrasted with love; sorrow with joy; fear with hope; dread with anticipation; and distrust with trust. Finally, we get a set of leadership emotions that we can cultivate. The author supplies a whole list of things we can do to help us improve our emotional maturity.
We can audit our own emotions
We can detect emotional disorders
We build up listening skills
We practice conflict resolution
We develop networking skills
We take risks
We solve problems
We learn to confront in a constructive manner
We build trust
We learn to encourage others
We work on team building
We initiate name recognition.
These and many more form the study, audit, and development of one's emotional strengths and weaknesses.
Three Thoughts
First, in an objective-oriented world, emotions is something we tend to shun. Plenty of resources focus on the how and what to do. Even Christian ministry is not immune to such thinking. As a result, the Church is greatly impoverished when we downplay something as important as human emotions. Thankfully, Malphurs has put his finger on an important issue: Leaders need to learn how to develop their emotions toward maturity. I think of a recent book by Peter Scazzero, who wrote the bestselling book: "The Emotionally Healthy Church" and "The Emotionally Healthy Leader." Compared to Scazzero's books, I feel that this book tends to bring more systematic study of emotions. Simply put, this book is relatively more academic than Scazzero's version. However, both emphasize the critical role emotions play in ministry. I am glad that there is another resource to champion the importance of emotional development in leadership and ministry.
Second, I appreciate the many applications the author has given with regard to emotions. Instead of mere individual emotional development, leadership also involves being aware of others; the way team works; and how to manage the mix of varied emotions. From self-audit to group activities; decision making to risk taking; confrontation to encouragement, there are many areas that emotional development can venture into. There are more. In fact, different emotions arise at different circumstances and personal phases of life. The more self-aware we are, the better we are able to apply the lessons in this book. That is why I would suggest readers take time to do self-audit and honesty. It is tempting to read this book with an overly optimistic sense of self. For that matter, we could also swing to the other extreme of pessimism. For both, we must tamper that with reality and authenticity.
Finally, this book could be improved with more real life cases. Perhaps, it is the seminary slant that Malphurs comes from, where the materials in the book tend to be more theoretical. This is necessary but readers may become lost in the ocean of ideas. We connect better with stories and this is where Scazzero's books fare better.
In general, this is a good book to trigger self-awareness and personal reflection. We get biblical perspectives on emotional well-being. For that, I would recommend this book as a primer toward emotional education and emotional intelligence.
Aubrey Malphurs is professor of pastoral ministries at Dallas Theological Seminary. He founded the Church consulting group, Malphurs Group in 1972 and has written many books on leadership, pastoral matters, and Church ministry.
Rating: 4 stars of 5.
conrade
This book has been provided courtesy of Baker Books and NetGalley without requiring a positive review. All opinions offered above are mine unless otherwise stated or implied.
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