What do you think?
Rate this book
How to Set Yourself on Fire
"It’s not romantic," Torrey says. "It’s physics. For every letter there is an equal and opposite, you know…letter."
Sheila’s life is built of little thievings. Adrift in her mid-thirties, she sleeps in fragments, ditches her temp jobs, eavesdrops on her neighbor’s Skype calls, and keeps a stolen letter in her nightstand, penned by a UPS driver she barely knows. Her mother is stifling and her father is a bad memory. Her only friends are her mysterious, slovenly neighbor Vinnie and his daughter Torrey, a quirky twelve-year-old coping with a recent tragedy.
When her grandmother Rosamond dies, Sheila inherits a box of secret love letters from Harold C. Carr―a man who is not her grandfather. In spite of herself, Sheila gets caught up in the legacy of the affair, piecing together her grandmother’s past and forging bonds with Torrey and Vinnie as intense and fragile as the crumbling pages in Rosamond’s shoebox.
As they get closer to unraveling the truth, Sheila grows almost as obsessed with the letters as the man who wrote them. Somewhere, there’s an answering stack of letters―written in Rosamond’s hand―and Sheila can’t stop until she uncovers the rest of the story. Threaded with wry humor and the ache of love lost or left behind, How to Set Yourself on Fire establishes Julia Dixon Evans as a rising talent in the vein of Shirley Jackson and Lindsay Hunter.
Sheila’s life is built of little thievings. Adrift in her mid-thirties, she sleeps in fragments, ditches her temp jobs, eavesdrops on her neighbor’s Skype calls, and keeps a stolen letter in her nightstand, penned by a UPS driver she barely knows. Her mother is stifling and her father is a bad memory. Her only friends are her mysterious, slovenly neighbor Vinnie and his daughter Torrey, a quirky twelve-year-old coping with a recent tragedy.
When her grandmother Rosamond dies, Sheila inherits a box of secret love letters from Harold C. Carr―a man who is not her grandfather. In spite of herself, Sheila gets caught up in the legacy of the affair, piecing together her grandmother’s past and forging bonds with Torrey and Vinnie as intense and fragile as the crumbling pages in Rosamond’s shoebox.
As they get closer to unraveling the truth, Sheila grows almost as obsessed with the letters as the man who wrote them. Somewhere, there’s an answering stack of letters―written in Rosamond’s hand―and Sheila can’t stop until she uncovers the rest of the story. Threaded with wry humor and the ache of love lost or left behind, How to Set Yourself on Fire establishes Julia Dixon Evans as a rising talent in the vein of Shirley Jackson and Lindsay Hunter.
312 pages, Paperback
First published May 8, 2018
13 people are currently reading
531 people want to read
Ratings & Reviews
Friends & Following
Create a free account to discover what your friends think of this book!
Community Reviews
Displaying 1 - 30 of 69 reviews
February 20, 2018
I think I might like this book
February 19, 2018
Such a deeply affecting novel. Evans has created something compelling and heartbreaking with her main character, Sheila—a woman who's unapologetically grotesque yet perennially wanting acceptance. A woman insecure with how she presents herself to the world, yet will only meet the world on her own terms. A dirtbag without an excuse. She's a frustrating, refreshing, brave character.
When Sheila befriends her neighbor's kid, Torrey, and the two set out to solve a mystery of sorts, it would be easy for Evans to turn her novel into a rote cliche. Instead, the presence of Torrey serves as a sounding board that amplifies Sheila's insecurities, as well as deepens her complexity
What's more, this novel is a profound examination of the quiet tragedies that are passed down within families, inescapable like genetic diseases.
Things that you'll feel while reading this novel:
- A soft series of gutpunches at the money scenes.
- A reassessment of the tragedies in your own family.
- A desire to write more letters by hand.
- Reinvigorated fear of ants in your laundry.
- Heart-swelling fondness toward all the parts where the balance in Sheila's life tilts toward insanity.
- A renewed faith in the eroticism of PBS.
Read it.
When Sheila befriends her neighbor's kid, Torrey, and the two set out to solve a mystery of sorts, it would be easy for Evans to turn her novel into a rote cliche. Instead, the presence of Torrey serves as a sounding board that amplifies Sheila's insecurities, as well as deepens her complexity
What's more, this novel is a profound examination of the quiet tragedies that are passed down within families, inescapable like genetic diseases.
Things that you'll feel while reading this novel:
- A soft series of gutpunches at the money scenes.
- A reassessment of the tragedies in your own family.
- A desire to write more letters by hand.
- Reinvigorated fear of ants in your laundry.
- Heart-swelling fondness toward all the parts where the balance in Sheila's life tilts toward insanity.
- A renewed faith in the eroticism of PBS.
Read it.
February 1, 2019
This quirky novel about a listless thirty-something woman, the 12-year-old girl she befriends and a box of mysterious letters is such a hidden gem.
When Sheila’s grandmother Rosamond dies, she leaves behind a box of 300+ love letters from a man named Howard, an old neighbor of hers with whom she may or may not have had an affair.
Sheila’s life is at a standstill. She’s obsessed with a UPS worker who she’s been stalking for a few years now. She’s barely employed. She’s depressed. She’s weird as hell. Her only friend is her neighbor, Vinnie, a taxidermist whose preteen daughter, Torrey, comes to live with him after her mother dies in a freak skydiving accident.
Sheila and Torrey befriend each other, bonding over their mutual interest in the box of letters. Together, they read through them and try to piece together the story of Howard and Rosamond. The problem is that they only have Howard’s letters, so they have no idea what was going on on Rosamond’s end.
Sheila, Vinnie and Torrey are such strange and well-drawn characters. Their interactions with each other are unconventional, funny and surprisingly tender. They fill voids in each other’s lives, not unlike Rosamond and Howard.
I loved this book about human connection, about finding hope, meaning and companionship in the most unexpected places.
When Sheila’s grandmother Rosamond dies, she leaves behind a box of 300+ love letters from a man named Howard, an old neighbor of hers with whom she may or may not have had an affair.
Sheila’s life is at a standstill. She’s obsessed with a UPS worker who she’s been stalking for a few years now. She’s barely employed. She’s depressed. She’s weird as hell. Her only friend is her neighbor, Vinnie, a taxidermist whose preteen daughter, Torrey, comes to live with him after her mother dies in a freak skydiving accident.
Sheila and Torrey befriend each other, bonding over their mutual interest in the box of letters. Together, they read through them and try to piece together the story of Howard and Rosamond. The problem is that they only have Howard’s letters, so they have no idea what was going on on Rosamond’s end.
Sheila, Vinnie and Torrey are such strange and well-drawn characters. Their interactions with each other are unconventional, funny and surprisingly tender. They fill voids in each other’s lives, not unlike Rosamond and Howard.
I loved this book about human connection, about finding hope, meaning and companionship in the most unexpected places.
July 23, 2018
via my blog: https://bookstalkerblog.wordpress.com/
'The world is a wall of heavy noise. I want to take a big breath exactly as much as I want to stop breathing.'
Sheila’s life isn’t full, she spends much of her time listening to Torrey, her neighbor Vinnie’s daughter, grow up through the walls of her apartment, working dead-end jobs with zero ambition, and dodging calls from her mother. Rosamund, her Grandmother, has just passed away and left behind a shoebox full of letters from one Harold C. Carr. A shoebox her mother doesn’t know she has, letters she was meant to bury to honor Rosamund’s wishes. Sheila’s father is a distant memory, her mother nothing but a headache. With the sad truth that she was never close to her grandmother, the mysterious letters reveal a sad affair that began with her mother’s (a child at the time) destroyed beloved doll and the hard truth about the difficult life Rosamund couldn’t dare leave, not even for love. Sheila is consumed by her grandmother’s past, easier than dealing with her own painful childhood and the black hole where her father once stood. The lover’s letters aren’t the only missives she builds stories upon. There is the UPS man , Jesse Ramirez’s dropped personal letter that sits in a ziplock in her nightstand drawer. A letter she cherishes and cannot return to him, as she should. A line she memorized, a feeling she wishes someone felt about her, is like a drug that fills her lonely heart. The job was her last-ditch attempt at normalcy, her therapist gave her ‘mild’ meds. “I hated her for calling me mild. I hated how she could posit to measure feelings on a chart, in a table, with a thermometer.”
When Vinnie and his daughter Torrey suffer a tragedy, Sheila slowly begins to befriend the young girl and it’s painfully and beautifully awkward. She is beyond rusty when it comes to people, relationships. Her grandmother’s affair saddens her, knowing the choice she made and how her life played out, that she is the legacy, a mess of a granddaughter, directionless, unable to anchor anywhere. Her family has issues with bonding, unable as a child to dare ask her mother where her father is, why he isn’t in their life any longer. Her mother always a bit cold, distant, unable to be the sort of mother we all hope for. Sad more for never really knowing her grandmother than about her passing, her mother trying to contain what she sees as her mother’s ‘shameful’ secret by not honoring her last request, unaware that through the letters Sheila knows everything. There is a moment in the novel when Sheila sees a picture, a favorite of her mother’s with her own parents, one that shows how much Sheila and her mother looked alike as children. She says “It almost hurts how much she looked like me. I want to be as different from her as possible and she wants to be as close to me as possible.” The lines are a gut punch, and hint at the damaged mother/daughter relationship. Nosing through her grandmother’s letters, she begins to understand her own mother’s relationship with her grandmother Rosamund.
Working temp jobs, she has a special gift for working even that system. She isn’t exactly respectable, in fact seems to struggle with being an adult altogether. Interacting with Vinnie after an accident involving his ex-wife, her tasteless questions expose her social ineptidue.She doesn’t mean to be so ridiculously clueless, such a mess. I spent so much of this novel cringing from her behavior, which is why I loved it so much. It’s hard to relate to perfect characters, I have a weak spot for the wounded, for strays. I adore the relationship between she and Torrey. Torrey is happy to join the quest in finding out if Harold is still alive, if Rosamund’s letters to him still exist. Unlike other fiction, it stays in the realms of reality, where not everything turns out the way you expect it.
Through Torrey’s savvy, there could be a way to locate this Harold, but like Torrey tells her when she proposes the idea and Sheila isn’t ready, ” You’re weird. You do things weirdly.” Sheila is a strange bird, her inheritance is pretending everything is normal as the roof caves in. For me, the letter she cherishes that isn’t hers to hoard, that belongs to the UPS man, that is like a drug for her says more about her state of loneliness and need. It leads to a strange obsession that is important to the novel, yet not the entire center of it. It is through Torrey she starts to abandon her quiet life, begins to see the real problem lies within herself, even if her mother shoulders a fair amount of the blame. At what point do we move on and stop blaming others for who we have become?
Vinnie is important too, they begin a relationship too, minus strings and while he is mostly on the periphery of the story, he has his big moments, particularly toward the end. The most important relationships are between all the women. The bonds are imperfect, but there could be room for healing.
A moving story about a woman who is stunted, until her grandmother’s past affair and precocious young neighbor inject life into her. Lovely.
Available Now
Dzanc Books
'The world is a wall of heavy noise. I want to take a big breath exactly as much as I want to stop breathing.'
Sheila’s life isn’t full, she spends much of her time listening to Torrey, her neighbor Vinnie’s daughter, grow up through the walls of her apartment, working dead-end jobs with zero ambition, and dodging calls from her mother. Rosamund, her Grandmother, has just passed away and left behind a shoebox full of letters from one Harold C. Carr. A shoebox her mother doesn’t know she has, letters she was meant to bury to honor Rosamund’s wishes. Sheila’s father is a distant memory, her mother nothing but a headache. With the sad truth that she was never close to her grandmother, the mysterious letters reveal a sad affair that began with her mother’s (a child at the time) destroyed beloved doll and the hard truth about the difficult life Rosamund couldn’t dare leave, not even for love. Sheila is consumed by her grandmother’s past, easier than dealing with her own painful childhood and the black hole where her father once stood. The lover’s letters aren’t the only missives she builds stories upon. There is the UPS man , Jesse Ramirez’s dropped personal letter that sits in a ziplock in her nightstand drawer. A letter she cherishes and cannot return to him, as she should. A line she memorized, a feeling she wishes someone felt about her, is like a drug that fills her lonely heart. The job was her last-ditch attempt at normalcy, her therapist gave her ‘mild’ meds. “I hated her for calling me mild. I hated how she could posit to measure feelings on a chart, in a table, with a thermometer.”
When Vinnie and his daughter Torrey suffer a tragedy, Sheila slowly begins to befriend the young girl and it’s painfully and beautifully awkward. She is beyond rusty when it comes to people, relationships. Her grandmother’s affair saddens her, knowing the choice she made and how her life played out, that she is the legacy, a mess of a granddaughter, directionless, unable to anchor anywhere. Her family has issues with bonding, unable as a child to dare ask her mother where her father is, why he isn’t in their life any longer. Her mother always a bit cold, distant, unable to be the sort of mother we all hope for. Sad more for never really knowing her grandmother than about her passing, her mother trying to contain what she sees as her mother’s ‘shameful’ secret by not honoring her last request, unaware that through the letters Sheila knows everything. There is a moment in the novel when Sheila sees a picture, a favorite of her mother’s with her own parents, one that shows how much Sheila and her mother looked alike as children. She says “It almost hurts how much she looked like me. I want to be as different from her as possible and she wants to be as close to me as possible.” The lines are a gut punch, and hint at the damaged mother/daughter relationship. Nosing through her grandmother’s letters, she begins to understand her own mother’s relationship with her grandmother Rosamund.
Working temp jobs, she has a special gift for working even that system. She isn’t exactly respectable, in fact seems to struggle with being an adult altogether. Interacting with Vinnie after an accident involving his ex-wife, her tasteless questions expose her social ineptidue.She doesn’t mean to be so ridiculously clueless, such a mess. I spent so much of this novel cringing from her behavior, which is why I loved it so much. It’s hard to relate to perfect characters, I have a weak spot for the wounded, for strays. I adore the relationship between she and Torrey. Torrey is happy to join the quest in finding out if Harold is still alive, if Rosamund’s letters to him still exist. Unlike other fiction, it stays in the realms of reality, where not everything turns out the way you expect it.
Through Torrey’s savvy, there could be a way to locate this Harold, but like Torrey tells her when she proposes the idea and Sheila isn’t ready, ” You’re weird. You do things weirdly.” Sheila is a strange bird, her inheritance is pretending everything is normal as the roof caves in. For me, the letter she cherishes that isn’t hers to hoard, that belongs to the UPS man, that is like a drug for her says more about her state of loneliness and need. It leads to a strange obsession that is important to the novel, yet not the entire center of it. It is through Torrey she starts to abandon her quiet life, begins to see the real problem lies within herself, even if her mother shoulders a fair amount of the blame. At what point do we move on and stop blaming others for who we have become?
Vinnie is important too, they begin a relationship too, minus strings and while he is mostly on the periphery of the story, he has his big moments, particularly toward the end. The most important relationships are between all the women. The bonds are imperfect, but there could be room for healing.
A moving story about a woman who is stunted, until her grandmother’s past affair and precocious young neighbor inject life into her. Lovely.
Available Now
Dzanc Books
May 11, 2018
Full disclosure: I'm a big fan of Julia Dixon Evans, as an author and as a human being. Having read only her fabulous short stories previously, I thrilled at the opportunity to read this complete novel. Julia doesn't sugar coat her characters. They are genuine, especially in their most awkward traits. In HOW TO SET YOURSELF ON FIRE, the protagonist, Sheila, is hardly a character I'd describe as likeable. But it is effortless how she lures the reader into her world, wanting more of her oddness, her unease. And Julia's writing offers all the light we need on her great characters and intriguing story twists. I recommend this novel and any string of words Julia Dixon Evans publishes.
August 25, 2018
I have to admit something right off the bat. On paper, reading the back cover description of this book there is no way I would normally have chosen to read this book. I would have shaken off the idea as just not for me. The old saying about judging books by their cover can be extended to many aspects of books which are complete experiences. I read this book because frankly I like Julia. She is a San Diego writer and yeah I naturally root for San Diego writers. I have read a few of her stories and they have all been great. More importantly for me I have seen Julia read/ perform her fiction before and I started this book knowing absolute zero about the plot. I got it and read it purely on the strength of the author.
Now that said I would LOVE, LOVE, LOVE to see her tackle a horror novel, I mean she has written some great horror short stories but it doesn't matter HTSYOF is a excellently written character focused novel.
Set here in San Diego this novel is the story of Sheila who struggles with life a little. She is temp who hates working and is reeling from the death of her Grandmother. Her life is thrown upside down when she finds a box of extra martial love letters in her Grandmother's shoe box. Before these letters the most exciting thing in her life was masturbating to PBS and ease dropping on her neighbor Vinnie's skype calls with his daughter on the east coast. For hilarious reasons Vinnie's daughter ends up moving out west to live with her father. She and Shelia strike up a friendship over the love letters and finding her Grandmother's long lost love Harold C. Carr.
I want to note that for some reason I pictured the Character of Vinnie, as Vinnie Paul of Pantera which made some turns with the character hard for me to take but that is a me problem.
OK back to How to Set Yourself on Fire. So yes Sheila is not exactly what I would call a winner, but she is such a excellently written character as are all the side characters in the piece. Vinnie, his daughter Torrey and Sheila's cringe inducing mother all make this book a page turning experience. I think the weird thing is that this is somewhat of a coming of age novel even though the main character is an adult. Shelia has alot of growing to do.
The most effective moments of writing are found in the moments of parallels, found between Shelia and the letters. Shelia wanted to believe in the romance as much as Harold Carr did. It is not her love story on the surface but it doesn't make it any less heart-breaking. There is a love story here, not a romantic one but Sheila, Vinnie and Torrey come together in a way that is heartwarming. A less talented writer would have spelled out this happy ending, but Julia Dixon Evans is to good a storyteller for that.
Five stars, big thumbs up. Another woman coming out of the San Diego writing scene this a first novel we should all salute. She might not have the sales of Tomi Adeyemi's Children of Blood and Bone, but Evans wrote the better novel in my opinion. Read this excellent novel!
Now that said I would LOVE, LOVE, LOVE to see her tackle a horror novel, I mean she has written some great horror short stories but it doesn't matter HTSYOF is a excellently written character focused novel.
Set here in San Diego this novel is the story of Sheila who struggles with life a little. She is temp who hates working and is reeling from the death of her Grandmother. Her life is thrown upside down when she finds a box of extra martial love letters in her Grandmother's shoe box. Before these letters the most exciting thing in her life was masturbating to PBS and ease dropping on her neighbor Vinnie's skype calls with his daughter on the east coast. For hilarious reasons Vinnie's daughter ends up moving out west to live with her father. She and Shelia strike up a friendship over the love letters and finding her Grandmother's long lost love Harold C. Carr.
I want to note that for some reason I pictured the Character of Vinnie, as Vinnie Paul of Pantera which made some turns with the character hard for me to take but that is a me problem.
OK back to How to Set Yourself on Fire. So yes Sheila is not exactly what I would call a winner, but she is such a excellently written character as are all the side characters in the piece. Vinnie, his daughter Torrey and Sheila's cringe inducing mother all make this book a page turning experience. I think the weird thing is that this is somewhat of a coming of age novel even though the main character is an adult. Shelia has alot of growing to do.
The most effective moments of writing are found in the moments of parallels, found between Shelia and the letters. Shelia wanted to believe in the romance as much as Harold Carr did. It is not her love story on the surface but it doesn't make it any less heart-breaking. There is a love story here, not a romantic one but Sheila, Vinnie and Torrey come together in a way that is heartwarming. A less talented writer would have spelled out this happy ending, but Julia Dixon Evans is to good a storyteller for that.
Five stars, big thumbs up. Another woman coming out of the San Diego writing scene this a first novel we should all salute. She might not have the sales of Tomi Adeyemi's Children of Blood and Bone, but Evans wrote the better novel in my opinion. Read this excellent novel!
September 24, 2023
This is an unusual novel, centered around the story of Sheila, who is decidedly quirky — not in a charming way, but more as an awkward, off-balance character.
Sheila, a recluse with precarious mental health, has inherited a box of love letters from her grandmother, who didn't have the chance to explain the letters before passing away. Unemployed and unmoored from traditional life, Sheila decides to spend her time looking into the history behind the letters her grandmother exchanged with a man who is not her grandfather. As she begins to unravel the truth, she begins to more deeply discover herself, too.
I'm impressed that the author has managed to make Sheila deeply likable in spite of her many (and sometimes slightly disturbing) flaws. It's a good book for those who like complicated mother-daugther relationships, epistolary writing, and themes of finding oneself and/or being a hot mess and being okay with it. I wanted more of these characters, which is always a good sign.
Sheila, a recluse with precarious mental health, has inherited a box of love letters from her grandmother, who didn't have the chance to explain the letters before passing away. Unemployed and unmoored from traditional life, Sheila decides to spend her time looking into the history behind the letters her grandmother exchanged with a man who is not her grandfather. As she begins to unravel the truth, she begins to more deeply discover herself, too.
I'm impressed that the author has managed to make Sheila deeply likable in spite of her many (and sometimes slightly disturbing) flaws. It's a good book for those who like complicated mother-daugther relationships, epistolary writing, and themes of finding oneself and/or being a hot mess and being okay with it. I wanted more of these characters, which is always a good sign.
May 9, 2018
I loved this book. Equal parts tender and funny, relatable and lovely. I identified so much with the protagonist's difficult relationship with her mother. I loved the interweaving plotlines. Wonderful story beautifully written.
March 12, 2020
2020 reads, #20. Another MFAey indie-lit character drama, which you know is indie because everyone is kinda miserable. It's no coincidence, I think, that Dixon Evans thanks a number of people at the end who I also know in real life, because this sounds almost exactly like the kind of indie-lit character dramas they're all doing too; and God bless you all for it, okay, but man do I wish that all of you would take greater chances in your stories besides just the usual indie-lit cliches, symbolically tied together through whatever quirky thing the characters are dealing with in this particular version (in this case, forest fires in California, and the dysfunctional "Fleabag" type protagonist in the middle of the proceedings). This will please that whole crowd, all several thousand of them, the ones running all the indie lit presses and indie lit blogs and indie lit readings and indie lit podcasts, who just got done deliberating over whether or not to attend AWP this year; but I yearn for something better and more surprising than this, which is why the only middle-of-the-road score from me today.
May 29, 2018
Do you love those slow-burning, complex human dramas that take you on a trip so fully into the lives of their characters? The kind that show multifarious human beings trying - often failing - and trying again to do their best? Julia Dixon Evans spins a carefully crafted tale, and if it sounds like I'm not trying to give too much away, its because I'm not. This is a novel to dive into with few expectations because the reward is in the reading - approaching each sentence and paragraph as it's a small present to be unwrapped and tucked away for a story that both breaks you and puts you back together, again and again.
Just read it.
Just read it.
December 27, 2019
The lead of this is sort of like Fleabag, if she didn't have any sense of humor.
May 11, 2018
Goodreads Synopsis:
"It’s not romantic," Torrey says. "It’s physics. For every letter there is an equal and opposite, you know…letter."
Sheila’s life is built of little thievings. Adrift in her mid-thirties, she sleeps in fragments, ditches her temp jobs, eavesdrops on her neighbor’s Skype calls, and keeps a stolen letter in her nightstand, penned by a UPS driver she barely knows. Her mother is stifling and her father is a bad memory. Her only friends are her mysterious, slovenly neighbor Vinnie and his daughter Torrey, a quirky twelve-year-old coping with a recent tragedy.
When her grandmother Rosamond dies, Sheila inherits a box of secret love letters from Harold C. Carr―a man who is not her grandfather. In spite of herself, Sheila gets caught up in the legacy of the affair, piecing together her grandmother’s past and forging bonds with Torrey and Vinnie as intense and fragile as the crumbling pages in Rosamond’s shoebox.
As they get closer to unraveling the truth, Sheila grows almost as obsessed with the letters as the man who wrote them. Somewhere, there’s an answering stack of letters―written in Rosamond’s hand―and Sheila can’t stop until she uncovers the rest of the story. Threaded with wry humor and the ache of love lost or left behind, How to Set Yourself on Fire establishes Julia Dixon Evans as a rising talent in the vein of Shirley Jackson and Lindsay Hunter.
My Review:
What really caught my eye about this book, was the cover and the title. It seemed so mysterious, like it could be about anything and I would enjoy it, and I'm really glad I got the chance to read it. In reality, it's a super relatable story about a woman named Sheila, who's only family is her cold mother, and her grandmother. She doesn't have any friends, and like her temp jobs, the rest of her life seems to be quite on and off. That's the way she likes to keep things.
It begins with a call from Sheila's mother, asking her when the last time she saw her grandmother was, and that she should probably go visit her within the next couple days. She's very old, and close to death. When she visits her, she tells her that history repeats itself, and more importantly, that it never forgets. She says that she wants to give her something, but that it can wait until tomorrow. The next day she gets a call from her mom and she says that she's gone. She has a tendency to lie to her mother to keep her in good terms, to keep her from worrying, and when she asks if she saw her the day before, tells her no. This is the beginning to a book that I can't stop thinking about.
The characters in this book are so real, and they have problems of their own to work out. It follows Sheila in her day to day world, through her point of view, and most of the time she's just reading through her grandmothers old letters. This book is such an easy and enjoyable read, it's just really real and I'm so glad I got the chance to read it. Sheila eventually makes friends with her neighbours, Vinnie and Torrey, and finds out how to live. I absolutely loved this book, and I would love to get a copy of it for my shelf to read again and again. I have nothing bad to say about this book, and I definitely think everyone should at least check it out, it's really worth your time.
Here's a link to the book on Amazon, and another link to the author's Twitter.
https://www.amazon.ca/Yourself-Fire-J...
https://twitter.com/juliadixonevans?l...
Thanks for reading! Check out this review and more at my blog.
(Radioactivebookreviews.wordpress.com)
"It’s not romantic," Torrey says. "It’s physics. For every letter there is an equal and opposite, you know…letter."
Sheila’s life is built of little thievings. Adrift in her mid-thirties, she sleeps in fragments, ditches her temp jobs, eavesdrops on her neighbor’s Skype calls, and keeps a stolen letter in her nightstand, penned by a UPS driver she barely knows. Her mother is stifling and her father is a bad memory. Her only friends are her mysterious, slovenly neighbor Vinnie and his daughter Torrey, a quirky twelve-year-old coping with a recent tragedy.
When her grandmother Rosamond dies, Sheila inherits a box of secret love letters from Harold C. Carr―a man who is not her grandfather. In spite of herself, Sheila gets caught up in the legacy of the affair, piecing together her grandmother’s past and forging bonds with Torrey and Vinnie as intense and fragile as the crumbling pages in Rosamond’s shoebox.
As they get closer to unraveling the truth, Sheila grows almost as obsessed with the letters as the man who wrote them. Somewhere, there’s an answering stack of letters―written in Rosamond’s hand―and Sheila can’t stop until she uncovers the rest of the story. Threaded with wry humor and the ache of love lost or left behind, How to Set Yourself on Fire establishes Julia Dixon Evans as a rising talent in the vein of Shirley Jackson and Lindsay Hunter.
My Review:
What really caught my eye about this book, was the cover and the title. It seemed so mysterious, like it could be about anything and I would enjoy it, and I'm really glad I got the chance to read it. In reality, it's a super relatable story about a woman named Sheila, who's only family is her cold mother, and her grandmother. She doesn't have any friends, and like her temp jobs, the rest of her life seems to be quite on and off. That's the way she likes to keep things.
It begins with a call from Sheila's mother, asking her when the last time she saw her grandmother was, and that she should probably go visit her within the next couple days. She's very old, and close to death. When she visits her, she tells her that history repeats itself, and more importantly, that it never forgets. She says that she wants to give her something, but that it can wait until tomorrow. The next day she gets a call from her mom and she says that she's gone. She has a tendency to lie to her mother to keep her in good terms, to keep her from worrying, and when she asks if she saw her the day before, tells her no. This is the beginning to a book that I can't stop thinking about.
The characters in this book are so real, and they have problems of their own to work out. It follows Sheila in her day to day world, through her point of view, and most of the time she's just reading through her grandmothers old letters. This book is such an easy and enjoyable read, it's just really real and I'm so glad I got the chance to read it. Sheila eventually makes friends with her neighbours, Vinnie and Torrey, and finds out how to live. I absolutely loved this book, and I would love to get a copy of it for my shelf to read again and again. I have nothing bad to say about this book, and I definitely think everyone should at least check it out, it's really worth your time.
Here's a link to the book on Amazon, and another link to the author's Twitter.
https://www.amazon.ca/Yourself-Fire-J...
https://twitter.com/juliadixonevans?l...
Thanks for reading! Check out this review and more at my blog.
(Radioactivebookreviews.wordpress.com)
June 6, 2018
I loved these characters. When I first hit the premise of the found letters, I wondered a bit how that would work for the novel, but several chapters later, found myself with Sheila and Torrey wanting to know what happens. I liked how non cliche their whole story is. The 12 year old is real. Sheila is awkward but real. How to set yourself on fire seems to mean how to awkwardly live in an awkward world. I find it interesting this started with a prompt that began with Vinnie. He’s an interesting spot for the book. If this was a male author and Vinnie was a female character, she might get labeled objectified? I love how this is a powerful thing from a female author and not a problem. Maybe that’s fucked up and maybe that’s my own fucked up view of it, but I love that men can be secondary to the story, that they can be without or with less agency too. She gets more from him than just sex, but he doesn’t get to make many active decisions or drive his own arc? Maybe diminished agency is embedded in any subplot? I found an interesting conflict I hadn’t thought of before here too. Part of what is at stake is that these characters at any event might just remove each other from their lives. One misstep and Sheila might just never talk to torrie or Vinnie again. One misstep and torrie might not care about the letters. Everyone is one event away from being completely alone. Maybe that’s what the ending is about too. In some ways it didn’t surprise me and in others I thought there might be “more” of an event or change.
July 28, 2018
I picked up “How to Set Yourself on Fire”
on a whim at the library and I’m glad that i did. It’s hard to put into words how I feel about this book, but it’s special in an unconventional way. Shelia is a mess and is at many points unlikeable. But that’s the point. The reader feels for Sheila how she feels about herself. The story centers on Shelia, her growing connection to Torrey, her 12 year old neighbor kid, and, of course, the letters. Harold’s letters are both beautiful and devastating. I felt my heart shatter right along with his. “How to Set Yourself on Fire” is part love story but it’s real message is in how we find healing in the most unexpected places. All in all a quick, worthwhile read. 4 stars from me.
on a whim at the library and I’m glad that i did. It’s hard to put into words how I feel about this book, but it’s special in an unconventional way. Shelia is a mess and is at many points unlikeable. But that’s the point. The reader feels for Sheila how she feels about herself. The story centers on Shelia, her growing connection to Torrey, her 12 year old neighbor kid, and, of course, the letters. Harold’s letters are both beautiful and devastating. I felt my heart shatter right along with his. “How to Set Yourself on Fire” is part love story but it’s real message is in how we find healing in the most unexpected places. All in all a quick, worthwhile read. 4 stars from me.
May 18, 2018
Quiet and exquisitely written, this debut tackles the biggest topics -- family secrets, inheritance, romance, narrative itself -- from the perspective of an unstable thirty-five year-old living in one of the cheapest dwellings in San Diego. Julia Dixon Evans offers us a group of characters trying to overcome the isolation of modern life by pursuing the stories that just might save them.
May 11, 2018
When I first met Julia Dixon Evans, I was struck by her dedication and commitment to her craft...
Read the rest here: https://bit.ly/2I5xrjB
Read the rest here: https://bit.ly/2I5xrjB
August 21, 2018
I thoroughly enjoyed the time I spent in the mind of Sheila, the protagonist, a socially isolated woman in her mid-thirties who can't seem to hold down a job and is avoiding her mother because of a secret and a lie she told. The secret is a box of letters addressed to Sheila's recently deceased grandmother, Rosamond—letters she told her mother she had put in the coffin. The letters are from Rosamond's neighbor, Harold, and seem to reveal a romantic affair. Sheila spends her time dwelling on the letters and occasionally doing further investigation with her twelve-year-old neighbor, Torrey.
The striking contrast between the exciting life Sheila dreams up for her grandmother and the inertia of her own daily existence is wonderful in this novel. Sheila is adrift and depressed, dwelling on her own past failings and the disappearance of her father. The letters from another era and her friendship with her neighbors are the only things anchoring her. Sheila's voice is funny, witty, and occasionally insightful, and this novel was a delight to read.
The striking contrast between the exciting life Sheila dreams up for her grandmother and the inertia of her own daily existence is wonderful in this novel. Sheila is adrift and depressed, dwelling on her own past failings and the disappearance of her father. The letters from another era and her friendship with her neighbors are the only things anchoring her. Sheila's voice is funny, witty, and occasionally insightful, and this novel was a delight to read.
May 14, 2018
I didn't realize something could be this beautiful.
July 12, 2018
Julia Dixon Evans' novel does a wonderful balancing act, striking both the comedic and the tragic chords of loneliness with expert precision. Her heart and soul lives within the pages of this book, mostly clearly on display in the main character, Shelia, a portrait of modern day anxiety, doubt, self depreciation and fear. Yet Shelia never manages to become a pity case. Instead, Shelia's discovery of a box of her late grandmother's love letters from an unknown suitor gives way to a journey of redefining oneself without really knowing how or why. Shelia's relationship with her neighbor and his daughter would have come off as cute and a little cliche in less skilled hands, but HOW TO SET YOURSELF ON FIRE beautifully subverts all tropes like this. Shelia and her quest become the glowing torch for all of us in our moments of despair and grief to keep going even when we don't have the inner strength or tools to do so. A unique, one of a kind novel from a writer firing on all cylinders. Go read it.
May 10, 2018
HOW TO SET YOURSELF ON FIRE is a tender, fucked-up book about traumatized people trying to find beauty in a burning world. A million stars. Buy it.
March 7, 2020
HOW TO SET YOURSELF ON FIRE by Julia Dixon Evans, is a quirky story in the vein of Ottessa Moshfegh’s MY YEAR OF REST AND RELAXATION, only sweeter.
Sheila, 35, is a mess. She can’t hold down a job, she barely sleeps, and when she does it’s often on the stoop of her run-down rental in LA. Vinnie, her slovenly but fleetingly charming neighbor, lives across the cement courtyard, their apartments so close Sheila can hear Vinnie’s Skype conversations with his ex-wife and 12-year old daughter, Torrey, as if Sheila is in the room with them. Their physical surroundings reflect Vinnie and Sheila’s relationship—distant, wary, weirdly intimate.
“You can’t just write Pop-Tarts, Dad,” Torrey says.
“Listen, this is the most detailed grocery list I’ve ever made. The only time I’ve ever used capital letters.” I could hear the smile in Vinnie’s voice. I was on the couch in my tiny place, lying with my head flat on the seat and my feet up on the armrest, a portable fan pointed directly at me.” (p.12)
When she inherits a box of love letters written to her deceased grandmother, Rosamond, Sheila spends hours sorting, cataloguing, reading and re-reading the letters. They were written to Rosamond by her neighbor, Harold C. Carr, who is not Sheila’s grandfather, part of a love story that took place half a century ago. Rosamond’s half of the letters are absent, possibly lost forever.
This is not the only letter Sheila is obsessed with. She also keeps a letter, written by the UPS driver who used to deliver to one of her jobs, carefully preserved in her bedside drawer. This love letter was written to someone Sheila has never met, part of a web of lost connections that include Sheila’s abandonment by her father, who left her and her mother when Sheila was a child.
When Torrey comes to live with her father after her mother dies in a freak skydiving accident, Torrey and Sheila develop an unlikely friendship around the letters. Smart, resilient, and wise-beyond-her-years, Torrey has little interest in Sheila’s morose self-absorption. Torrey, though, does know something of loss.
As Torrey nudges Sheila to find out more about Harold C. Carr and the missing half of the letters, Sheila finds herself doing things like going to the library with Torrey, things a parent might do with a child, but that Sheila has never done before. For Torrey, Sheila provides a tentative comfort. In caring for Sheila, Torrey is caring, in a safe way, for the broken parts of herself. For Sheila, Torrey is something brand new.
“And then it occurs to me: if Torrey walked right out of my life right now, never to return, I'd be crushed. I'm already in too deep. It's not like she's a normal friend. She's not a sister. She's not a daughter. She's something else--someone I don't have to care about, but I do.” (p. 171)
As Sheila and Torrey’s relationship develops, Sheila and Vinnie grow closer in their own desultory, halting way, two damaged survivors of broken relationships, Vinnie’s with his ex-wife, and Sheila with her father.
“Vinnie comes out. He sits on my step because he only has two chairs in the courtyard, the ones Torrey and I are in. He nods at us and lights up to smoke. Torrey hands him the ashtray.
'I can’t believe you endorse his nasty habit,' I say.
Vinnie grins.
'What are you ladies doing?' Vinnie asks.
'Talking,' Torrey says. I’m not looking at her to see if she rolls her eyes but the nostalgia I feel for my own adolescence is heavy.” (p. 124-125)
Together, they form a sassy, poignant band of misfits. Their relationships with one another are the greatest strength of the novel. The unfolding mystery surrounding the letters helps propel the plot, as does Sheila’s relationship with her mother, but the novel sings in the scenes between Sheila, Torrey and Vinnie. In their own post-modern, fallen Eden, with its “hideous faded green lawn furniture, nestled in our shared concrete not-lawn” (p.55), Sheila, Vinnie and Torrey stumble together, drawn by their conflicting desire to be known, to be loved, without the devastating, but inevitable risk of loss.
HOW TO SET YOURSELF ON FIRE is a sharply seen, often witty, sometimes tender, ultimately hopeful story told through brave, flawed, not always likeable characters who came fully alive on the page and who will remain with you after the last page is turned.
Sheila, 35, is a mess. She can’t hold down a job, she barely sleeps, and when she does it’s often on the stoop of her run-down rental in LA. Vinnie, her slovenly but fleetingly charming neighbor, lives across the cement courtyard, their apartments so close Sheila can hear Vinnie’s Skype conversations with his ex-wife and 12-year old daughter, Torrey, as if Sheila is in the room with them. Their physical surroundings reflect Vinnie and Sheila’s relationship—distant, wary, weirdly intimate.
“You can’t just write Pop-Tarts, Dad,” Torrey says.
“Listen, this is the most detailed grocery list I’ve ever made. The only time I’ve ever used capital letters.” I could hear the smile in Vinnie’s voice. I was on the couch in my tiny place, lying with my head flat on the seat and my feet up on the armrest, a portable fan pointed directly at me.” (p.12)
When she inherits a box of love letters written to her deceased grandmother, Rosamond, Sheila spends hours sorting, cataloguing, reading and re-reading the letters. They were written to Rosamond by her neighbor, Harold C. Carr, who is not Sheila’s grandfather, part of a love story that took place half a century ago. Rosamond’s half of the letters are absent, possibly lost forever.
This is not the only letter Sheila is obsessed with. She also keeps a letter, written by the UPS driver who used to deliver to one of her jobs, carefully preserved in her bedside drawer. This love letter was written to someone Sheila has never met, part of a web of lost connections that include Sheila’s abandonment by her father, who left her and her mother when Sheila was a child.
When Torrey comes to live with her father after her mother dies in a freak skydiving accident, Torrey and Sheila develop an unlikely friendship around the letters. Smart, resilient, and wise-beyond-her-years, Torrey has little interest in Sheila’s morose self-absorption. Torrey, though, does know something of loss.
As Torrey nudges Sheila to find out more about Harold C. Carr and the missing half of the letters, Sheila finds herself doing things like going to the library with Torrey, things a parent might do with a child, but that Sheila has never done before. For Torrey, Sheila provides a tentative comfort. In caring for Sheila, Torrey is caring, in a safe way, for the broken parts of herself. For Sheila, Torrey is something brand new.
“And then it occurs to me: if Torrey walked right out of my life right now, never to return, I'd be crushed. I'm already in too deep. It's not like she's a normal friend. She's not a sister. She's not a daughter. She's something else--someone I don't have to care about, but I do.” (p. 171)
As Sheila and Torrey’s relationship develops, Sheila and Vinnie grow closer in their own desultory, halting way, two damaged survivors of broken relationships, Vinnie’s with his ex-wife, and Sheila with her father.
“Vinnie comes out. He sits on my step because he only has two chairs in the courtyard, the ones Torrey and I are in. He nods at us and lights up to smoke. Torrey hands him the ashtray.
'I can’t believe you endorse his nasty habit,' I say.
Vinnie grins.
'What are you ladies doing?' Vinnie asks.
'Talking,' Torrey says. I’m not looking at her to see if she rolls her eyes but the nostalgia I feel for my own adolescence is heavy.” (p. 124-125)
Together, they form a sassy, poignant band of misfits. Their relationships with one another are the greatest strength of the novel. The unfolding mystery surrounding the letters helps propel the plot, as does Sheila’s relationship with her mother, but the novel sings in the scenes between Sheila, Torrey and Vinnie. In their own post-modern, fallen Eden, with its “hideous faded green lawn furniture, nestled in our shared concrete not-lawn” (p.55), Sheila, Vinnie and Torrey stumble together, drawn by their conflicting desire to be known, to be loved, without the devastating, but inevitable risk of loss.
HOW TO SET YOURSELF ON FIRE is a sharply seen, often witty, sometimes tender, ultimately hopeful story told through brave, flawed, not always likeable characters who came fully alive on the page and who will remain with you after the last page is turned.
May 14, 2018
To see other reviews, go to http://glitteringeyes.blog
I received this book from Dzanc books in exchange for an honest review. This did not influence my opinion in any way.
This debut novel follows our protagonist Sheila in the loss of her grandmother, strained relationship with her mother and relationships with her next door neighbor Vinnie and his daughter Torrey.
Sheila visits her grandmother the day before she passes away. Her grandmother mentions a shoebox, but tells Sheila she will explain more about it tomorrow. For Sheila's grandmother, tomorrow never comes as she passes away the next day. Sheila investigates the contents of the shoebox and discovers hundreds of letters addressed to Sheila's grandmother from a mysterious man called Harold C. Carr (who isn't her grandfather).
Sheila explores this mystery with her neighbor Vinnie's daughter and develops a friendship with her (and somewhat of a relationship with Vinnie) along the way.
This book is very funny in parts, tender and also awkward (as Sheila is an awkward and quirky character). Sheila is a bit of a trainwreck and not always entirely likeable.
I recommend this book to anyone who likes quirky stories, intergenerational friendships, domestic dramas/comedy and mysteries.
This book was recently released May 8th of this year and you can get a copy wherever books are sold. Thank you, Dzanc books for the copy for review!
"And then it occurs to me: if Torrey walked right out of my life right now, never to return, I'd be crushed. I'm already in too deep. It's not like she's a normal friend. She's not a sister. She's not a daughter. She's something else--someone I don't have to care about, but I do."
I received this book from Dzanc books in exchange for an honest review. This did not influence my opinion in any way.
This debut novel follows our protagonist Sheila in the loss of her grandmother, strained relationship with her mother and relationships with her next door neighbor Vinnie and his daughter Torrey.
Sheila visits her grandmother the day before she passes away. Her grandmother mentions a shoebox, but tells Sheila she will explain more about it tomorrow. For Sheila's grandmother, tomorrow never comes as she passes away the next day. Sheila investigates the contents of the shoebox and discovers hundreds of letters addressed to Sheila's grandmother from a mysterious man called Harold C. Carr (who isn't her grandfather).
Sheila explores this mystery with her neighbor Vinnie's daughter and develops a friendship with her (and somewhat of a relationship with Vinnie) along the way.
This book is very funny in parts, tender and also awkward (as Sheila is an awkward and quirky character). Sheila is a bit of a trainwreck and not always entirely likeable.
I recommend this book to anyone who likes quirky stories, intergenerational friendships, domestic dramas/comedy and mysteries.
This book was recently released May 8th of this year and you can get a copy wherever books are sold. Thank you, Dzanc books for the copy for review!
"And then it occurs to me: if Torrey walked right out of my life right now, never to return, I'd be crushed. I'm already in too deep. It's not like she's a normal friend. She's not a sister. She's not a daughter. She's something else--someone I don't have to care about, but I do."
August 19, 2018
I rated the book four stars because it is beautifully written with characters that are very alive and vivid - even if I couldn't relate to any of them. Actually, I find the main character, Sheila, to be very disturbing and plain creepy.
September 19, 2018
I picked up this book at a local book festival a few weeks ago and had the pleasure of meeting the author in person before purchasing this book. She signed the front cover and wrote, "I hope you enjoy this strange story and its characters as much as I do." I had NO idea what I was getting myself into. This story made me both cringe and laugh out loud. The author was right, the characters in this story are strange and comforting in their own ways. It is such a raw story that I fell deeply invested in each of the main characters. I loved this story and look forward to reading other books written by Julia Dixon Evans.
October 29, 2018
I really enjoyed this book even though I don't think it would be everyone's cup of tea. I blew through it on the subway going to and from work every day and if I hadn't left it AT work for a few days I would have finished it even quicker. It's definitely a quick read but one that is dark, a bit twisted, and super interesting if you're into what the human brain does to survive it's darkest moments. The twist(ish) at the end gutted me. I definitely recommend it if you're into deeply flawed (but extremely believable) characters and figuring out what it means to love someone and show that affection.
July 26, 2018
A woman tries to navigate her messy life with the help of neighbors and letters that were left behind by her grandmother.
2018 is becoming the year of the apathetic female protagonist. Sadly, I don't think this book will get as much attention as The Pisces or My Year of Rest and Relaxation, but it should and could. It completely fits in with the trend of female characters that allow it all to hang out and don't really care about the fact that it is. They are and aren't books of self-improvement. They all end with hope, but not with a fix to the problems.
2018 is becoming the year of the apathetic female protagonist. Sadly, I don't think this book will get as much attention as The Pisces or My Year of Rest and Relaxation, but it should and could. It completely fits in with the trend of female characters that allow it all to hang out and don't really care about the fact that it is. They are and aren't books of self-improvement. They all end with hope, but not with a fix to the problems.
January 10, 2019
3.5
This book grew on me as I read. The main character, Sheila, is initially off-putting and...gross. As the book continues, she just seems painfully vulnerable and human. When she comes into possession of a box of letters that her grandmother had kept for decades, Sheila becomes obsessed with the letters and the backstory, but because of this obsession, she also expands her very isolated world and develops relationships with her neighbor and his young daughter. That's a terrible summary, but I'm tired. It's worth reading.
This book grew on me as I read. The main character, Sheila, is initially off-putting and...gross. As the book continues, she just seems painfully vulnerable and human. When she comes into possession of a box of letters that her grandmother had kept for decades, Sheila becomes obsessed with the letters and the backstory, but because of this obsession, she also expands her very isolated world and develops relationships with her neighbor and his young daughter. That's a terrible summary, but I'm tired. It's worth reading.
August 29, 2019
I enjoyed reading "How to Set Yourself on Fire". It was different than the books I'm used to reading. I liked the plot, how the events took place and the endings. So I enjoyed the story from beginning till the ending. The reason I give it a Four-star instead of a five-star was because even though I enjoyed the book I felt it started to drag on some parts where I just wanted to skip the next page without reading, that part. But I would recommend this book to anyone, who would like to read a book about a woman with an obsession and how the events affected her.
March 22, 2020
This light novel is the perfect Covid-19 read: complete in 2.5 hours, easy to digest, and yet delving into deep questions about what makes a good father, daughter or friend. None of the relationships in it are conventional, and the growth of its characters is one reason that the book grew on me. But my original interest in reading it was to learn about the mysterious letters. This remained compelling throughout and there’s even a sort of climax in the subtle ‘action’ in the last quarter of the book.
July 10, 2023
i loved this book. i loved vinnie. i loved sheila, and i especially loved her friendship with Torrey. i was never bored reading this. this book is weird and exciting and sweet. the relationship between Sheila and her mother is extremely relatable and frustrating and so worth rooting for. i think that’s the main point of this book, at least for me, that most people no matter how weird or mysterious or sad or insecure, or even a little fucked up.. are worth rooting for.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 69 reviews