Pet Loss: A Thoughtful Guide for Adults and Children

by Herbert A. Nieburg

Thoroughly researched and expertly written, this comprehensive guide is a must for animal lovers dealing with the loss of a pet. The death of a pet can cause enormous feelings of sorrow, guilt, and loneliness for children and adults alike, whether the end comes through old age, illness, sudden death, or euthanasia. Yet pet owners are often inhibited in their very real grief, even if the animal was considered a full-fledged family member, a child's favored playmate, or an elderly person's faithful companion. In Pet Loss, the authors acknowledge and encourage such grief, and assert that pet owners must learn to cope with the death of an animal as they would with any significant loss--by expressing their feelings and coming to terms with their grief. At once a practical guide and an emotional support, Pet Loss offers unique advice for owners faced with an animal's passing, from the difficult decision to put a pet to sleep to dealing with a veterinarian or making funeral or cremation arrangements.

Other questions answered in this book include:

Do animals go off by themselves to die?

How can children be helped with their grief over the death of a family pet?

When an animal has to be put to sleep, what is the best method?

How and when should one take in a new pet?

How much can a vet be expected to do?

Genres: Grief, Animals, Nonfiction

176 pages, Paperback

First published February 1, 1982

Reviews

[kglibrarian (Karin Greenberg) · Rating 4 out of 5]

Though written in 1982, this guide to pet loss is just as helpful today. My 13-year-old dog, Mango, died last Monday, and the grief I have been experiencing seems unbearable. The authors have written a straightforward book outlining the process of grieving a loved pet.

With chapters focusing on our relationships with our pets, the reasons we feel so horrible, helping children deal with the loss, euthanasia, and looking to the future, the book covers all aspects of pet loss. Though nothing can take away the pain, knowing others are experiencing the same intense emotions as you is comforting.

For me, the most powerful part of the entire book is a reprint of an essay written for the New York Times in 1978 by Eleanor Perry on the loss of her dog. Her account put into words all that is in my heart.

[Pandaduh · Rating 3 out of 5]

had some problematic takes

[Susie · Rating 4 out of 5]

The copy I have is from 1982. While extremely dated (and possibly written before the whole "5 stages of grief" thing? It's the only book I read that doesn't talk about that.) this book was extremely helpful. Other books I read on the subject seemed to sort of go over the basics of the beginning of loss, but this one really handles the "it's a process - and you won't feel better overnight -- or even within months or years -- but the feelings you have are justified and the relationship you had was deserving of the sadness you feel no matter what others say" thing well. I would definitely recommend this book to anyone -- at any stage in their grief -- especially if you feel alone or embarrassed about just how depressed you feel.

My cat died a little over a month ago and I still have moments where I'm consumed with grief, and other books I read really didn't address that - but according to this book, it's pretty normal and to be expected, especially for someone like me who spent 24/7 with my companion. There was some relief in just reading other people's experiences -- there were quite a few cases mentioned -- and just accepting that the loss I'm feeling is valid and will take time to heal and that the grief I'm working through is normal.

There is a terrible introduction chapter, so don't judge this book by that. Also, when they give cost estimates, as I mentioned, it's extremely dated: according to this book, surgery for your pet can cost "up to $300" -- laughable! And also, according to this book, cremation is $20! and photocopies can't be made of photographic art! Oh, the 80s....

Still, the fact that it's old doesn't mean the compassion in its pages is outdated. There are also some helpful chapters on preparing yourself for the inevitable death of a sick pet, how to cope with a lost pet, guilt/info about euthanasia, some memorial readings, interviews with vets, etc making this a good primer for any pet owner at any stage to be well prepared for the awful possibilities (and, in the case of death, inevitabilities) that may lie ahead.