GURL Please: A reformed people pleasers guide to finding your voice

by Katie Hulbert

You Are Enough Has anyone every told you that you are enough? That the person you are today, including your flaws and weaknesses is enough? That if you never changed anything about yourself, you would be enough? Ya, me neither. There are so many voices out there telling us we should be better, different, fix our flaws. But no one is telling us that we are great. We are not being shown that our inherent strengths ARE our glory. Instead we are taught to adhere to a set of values and women... be thinner, prettier, always happy, easy going... and for gods sake, don't make waves! We are subtly and overtly shamed for not fitting a mold; societies mold, our familial mold or even our gender mold. And so we fight. We fight against ourselves. We hate the mold, and try to not feel bad that we don't fit... but we still feel bad. We try to make ourselves more amenable somehow to our mold makers. And yet inside we are mad that we have to do this at all. We really just want someone to tell us that we are okay just as we are. That who we are, when you strip us down to our unique core, is awesome, loveable, awesome. We want to stop feeling bad about the ways in which we don't measure up. We want to feel PEACE. Feel at ease in our own skin, with nothing to prove and no one to please. Just complete and total peace. This book GURL Please, is a set of tools on how to find that peace. How to embrace the glory of who you already are. How to shed the mold others have placed upon you. How to embrace and build the life that you truly want. Not by buying into more false bullshit, but rather by letting your true self shine. Letting YOU be YOU. Giving yourself permission to be all that you are.. good, bad and everyting in-between. Giving yourself permission to love your strengths. Giving yourself permission to no longer judge your flaws. (thats a big one... but it's doable...i promise) This book is a guide on how to actually give yourself that permission. It will give specific tools on how embrace the glory of who you are versus who you have been told to be. It will help you easily identify and let go the fears that are currently holding you back. And most importantly, it will give you full permission to stop judging yourself! I believe whole heartedly that YOUR life gets to be what you want. There is a foundational truth to be Your life is YOURS. No one elses to experience, just yours and yours alone. No one else is walking in your shoes. No one else will ever be inside your head or you heart. You are the only one truly experiencing YOUR life. So what do YOU want it to be? What do YOU want it to look and feel like? Imagine what it would feel like to be at peace with yourself, or to take it even further, to actually LIKE yourself? How would it feel to enjoy your life all of the time? To genuinely like the people in your life, get fulfillment from your work, be in love with your family? Can you imagine it, awesome right? you have the power to GIFT yourself the life that you want. You have the power to change direction at any time. GURL Please is a practical guide on how to actually do all of that and a little bit more. You can allow the glory of who you already are to shine, you only have to choose it. Your joy, peace and power are on the other side of that choice, So what are you waiting for?

Genres: Self Help

60 pages, Kindle Edition

Published December 9, 2017

About the author

As a cult and abuse survivor, Katie Hulbert is a no nonsense, straight talking, expert on overcoming fear and shame. As a former college professor, church pastor, game show host and restaurant manager she brings an eclectic and well rounded experience and perspective on life. She has fought and clawed her way to a life of freedom and joy, now determined to help others do the same. She currently resides in Durango, co with her 3 legged pup Sebastian (a spokesdog of ZUKES dog treats:) soaking up the mountain lifestyle. When she's not traveling or speaking, she can usually be found binge watching 'the office', eating tacos and drinking a margarita:)

Reviews

[Rach · Rating 1 out of 5]

I remembered why I usually don't read self-published works. This had a positive message that was lost in poor writing. Tons of typos, run on sentences, and unnecessary cursing.

[GrnEyed · Rating 4 out of 5]

Being kind to people, making them happy, and putting them first is a terrible thing. It might sound ridiculous. How can being kind and doing for others be bad for anyone? The answer is simple, as the author clearly expresses. When you are a people pleaser you are ensuring everyone around you is doing well and you…you’re miserable.
As a self-proclaimed people pleaser, who is in recovery, I understand all too well everything the author discusses. I greatly appreciated the different exercises she suggested the reader do. It might seem a tad corny to read this but sometimes doing exercises, such as writing down how the world sees you and then writing how you see yourself, can prove rather, educational. They are also eye-opening.
I choose to do what I can to help others and make people happy, so in one respect I’m still a people pleaser. The only difference is I do what I need to put myself first. It’s very true that we must be our best self if we want to be good to anyone else.
If you find yourself to be a people pleaser, pick up this book and give it a read. Do the exercises, they might help you as much as they helped me.

[Dennise Pendergrass · Rating 3 out of 5]

Once upon a time I was a true people pleaser. To the point that I was always so stressed and unhappy I would get stress migraines 2-3 times a week. I just wanted to be loved and accepted. This lasted from childhood until I was about 21. When I sat myself down, and realized just how unhealthy it all was. If these people that said they loved me, my family and friends really loved me, they would accept me even if I said no sometimes.

Almost 10 years later, and I am much healthier mentally. I only have a few migraines a year. I'm all around happier. My marriage is better. I no longer feel like a doormat.

This short self-help book probably would have benefited a young me. It took much too long for me to figure these things out by myself. All young people need to be told these things. Boys, and girls. I have a young son that is struggling with wanting everyone around him to be happy at cost to himself. We're working on finding boundaries, and knowing it's okay to be selfish sometimes. We can't always do what other people want. I really liked some of the analogies, and they were great descriptive tools.

[Diane · Rating 3 out of 5]

It is only 58 pages! It has some good advice in it, though.

[Shani · Rating 4 out of 5]

When I read the blurb for this book, I thought to myself, “Yup, that’s me!” Because in reality I’ve always done everything I can to not only keep the peace but to keep everyone happy. Too many times we let what everyone else wants or needs come before our own. I have a deep appreciation for how the author shared her wisdom in a way that was relatable if not humorous at times. She really gets down to what is at the heart of it, and some of that is insecurity in ourselves. Our life examples, experiences and just reality shape that for us. It forms what we do in order to make everyone happy. But as she reiterates, it’s time to say enough. Do what you can to make YOU happy first. Because in the end that's what matters. I loved this as a reminder to pick myself up and go on. Doing so without the constant worry though is something I will have to work towards. I take faith in the author's words as she’s very much a survivor of several things. Again, it makes her words more raw and like she really does understand what it takes to function. This is a wonderfully quick read to get you started on the right path. Even as a re-read for reminders of your plan.