I Only Want to Be With You

by J. Scott Coatsworth

Part of the "A Holiday to Remember 2017 Series"

Derrek is dealing with the recent, unexpected death of his mother. He’s been alone for five year since his husband Will died, and he’s ready to find someone new and to start living again. Ryan lost his partner, David, in an auto accident, and is dating Alex, who doesn’t treat him right.

Derrek can’t figure out why Ryan won’t see what’s right in front of his face. Why does Ryan come to him to talk about all his hopes, dreams, and fears, then go home to Alex?

If Derrek can figure that out, they might just have a shot.

A Holiday to Remember
Freddy MacKay - Watermelon Kisses
Foster Bridget Cassidy - But to Love More
Toni Griffin - Corey's Christmas Bundle
Angel Martinez - Safety Protocols for Human Holidays
Nicole Dennis - Secrets & Silk
Kassandra Lea - Winter Home
Jill Wexler - The Christmas Eve Craigslist Killer
Jayne Lockwood - New Beginnings
Tray Ellis - A Piece of Ourselves
J. Scott Coatsworth - I Only Want to Be With You
Siri Paulson - A New Year on Vega III

Genres: M M Romance, Holiday

45 pages, Kindle Edition

First published December 27, 2017

About the author

Scott lives with his husband in a leafy Sacramento, California suburb, in a cute yellow house with a pair of pink flamingoes in the front yard.

He has always been in the place between the here and now and the what could be. He started reading science fiction and fantasy at the tender age of nine, encouraged by his mother. But as he read the golden age classics and more modern works too, he started to wonder where all the queer people were.

When Scott came out at 23, he decided he wanted to create the kinds of stories he couldn't find at the bookstore. If there weren't gay characters in his favorite genres, he would reimagine them, filling them with a diverse universe of characters. He'd remake them to his own ends, and if he was lucky enough, someone would even want to read them.

Scott's brain works a little differently from most folks - he sees connections where others don't. Born an introvert, he learned how to reach outside himself and connect with other queer folks.

Scott's fiction defies expectations, transforming traditional science fiction, fantasy, and contemporary worlds into something fresh and surprising. He also created both Queer Sci Fi and QueeRomance Ink with his husband Mark, and is an associate member of the Science Fiction Writer's Association (SFWA).

His writing, both romance and genre fiction, brings a queer energy to his work, infusing them with love, beauty and strength and making them fly. He imagines how the world could be, and maybe changes the world that is, just a little.

Scott was recognized as one of the top new gay authors in the 2017 Rainbow Awards, and his debut novel "Skythane" received two awards and an honorable mention.

Reviews

[Serena Yates · Rating 3 out of 5]

The “friendzone” really can be depressingly permanent, as Derrek discovers in this story about him and his best friend, Ryan. Both men have been through a lot and have bonded over loved ones’ deaths, but they can’t seem to find their way to each other now that they are friends. Well, Derrek would in a heartbeat, but Ryan is hung up on a cheating idiot who keeps promising him the moon only to disappoint him time and time again. I guess this is what can happen, but just like Derrek, I was utterly frustrated watching a great guy like Ryan going back to his arrogant boyfriend.


Please find my full review on Rainbow Book Reviews.

[Chris · Rating 4 out of 5]

4 out of 5 stars

Description ~

Part of the "A Holiday to Remember 2017 Series"

Derrek is dealing with the recent, unexpected death of his mother. He’s been alone for five year since his husband Will died, and he’s ready to find someone new and to start living again. Ryan lost his partner, David, in an auto accident, and is dating Alex, who doesn’t treat him right.

Derrek can’t figure out why Ryan won’t see what’s right in front of his face. Why does Ryan come to him to talk about all his hopes, dreams, and fears, then go home to Alex?

If Derrek can figure that out, they might just have a shot.

My Review ~

I Only Want To Be With You is a short m/m contemporary that is included in the A Holiday To Remember 2017 series.

This is a sweet, friends to potential lovers short holiday story between two men who met by accident after their spouses passed away. Unfortunately it IS a short story only running about 44 pages so we learn only bits and pieces about their friendship and their back story that brought them to this point in their lives and relationship.

Derrek and Ryan have been best friends since they met after losing their husbands. However, Derrek has wanted more from Ryan than just friendship but he's honored that Ryan has been dating someone or that he's never seemed receptive to Derrek's feelings. Not that Derrek has shared how he feels with Ryan, to know if he's interested or not. Derrek is frustrated with Ryan and his boyfriend Alex, who treats Ryan absolutely like crap. Eventually things come to a boiling point and Ryan's life changes and Derrek finally shares his feelings. The story doesn't end with either a clear HEA or HFN but it leaves you knowing that there is a potential for either or both to happen.

This IS a short story after all and it's near impossible, in my experience to really capture more than a moment in time in a relationship. And this one caught the important first step of them taking that leap of faith to try a relationship. Honestly I'd love the author to fully flesh out this story into a full novel because I'd love to know both Ryan and Derrek's backstories with their husbands and up to the point they meet and on to the true HFN or HEA of their story. This was an enjoyable, short story, with just enough to pull you in and make you want more.

Of course it's the perfect length for a quick holiday read or even a fast lunch time read. Pick this one up for yourself and take a read!

[Claudia Lezár · Rating 4 out of 5]

PLEASE READ FIRST MY RATING SYSTEM!!!

To my ratings (thanks to amazon I had to change it again and 'upgrade' it a little bit.):

5* - very very good and rare (it would be a Blow-
Away-book like 'Liberty' from Seth Kann ing,
'Save that he kids' series from EM Leya or
'Jesse's Smile' from Angelique Jurd), it's like
an A+

4* - very good and will be often reread and is a
WOW-book with interesting plot and surprises
(like most of Andrew Grey books) it's like an A

3,5* - a really good book, which will be reread a few
times (most romances where you can enjoy
for relaxing and during waiting times in
hospitals). I can recommend them definitively!
It's like an B+

3* - it could be more then a one-time-reader, but
not really an often reread book

2* - it was ok to read, but it's more a one-time-
reader (i wouldn't recommend it heartily, but
it was ok) It's like a C-, D

1* - sorry, but that isn't really a book for me (too
many mistakes, not nice plot, illogical, so an
absolut NO-GO). It's like failure in the whole
line, dismissed, repeat the class

[Dixiecowgirl · Rating 4 out of 5]

Best friends to lovers story that is well written and the characters are well drawn and realistic. We often hold our friends in a safe place in our hearts and in our lives. We know we have much to lose if we become lovers and we strife to keep them in the friend zone. Ryan and Derrick met through loss and bonded through their grief. Understandable to me that they would keep each other in that friend zone. Derrick was still wearing his wedding ring until almost the end of the book, so not a surprise that Ryan had no clue how Derrick felt.

Ryan seemed to be trying to survive and just keep it together. This was his pattern and the dysfunctional relationship was just a part of his lack of self worth. Derrick was also only partially living, certainly not building a future either. Moving on from loss of a lover can be very difficult.

Once Ryan was given a clue, he acted like a mature man and handled his business. I really wanted Derrick to be more forthcoming with Ryan about his feelings. But they finally got to really see how each other felt and they have real hope for tomorrow.

I received an ARC at no cost from the author

[Georgiana · Rating 5 out of 5]

4.5 Stars

Shake it off, Derrek. Shake it off.

Derrek and Ryan have been friends for five years, meeting at a grief support group. Both men had lost their partners and Ryan is trying to move on by dating Alex. Derrek and Alex don't get along, not only because he likes Ryan, but because he doesn't think Alex treats Ryan well. My heart hurt for Derrek.

“You can't see how much you're really worth.”

I really enjoyed this emotional quick read. Though I didn't like Ryan staying with Alex for so long. His explanation for staying and why he only saw Derrek as a friend made sense.

“You think everyone deserves true love. The perfect relationship. Sometimes we have to work at it. Sometimes it's difficult."

I'm really glad there was a happy ending and that Derrek was able to get some closure. It really was a beautiful way for Derrek to spend and end Christmas.

Plot: 4.5
Ending: 5
Character Development: 4
Heat: A Simple sweet kiss

I voluntarily and honestly reviewed this book without bias or persuasion from the author.

[Esther Alayeto · Rating 5 out of 5]

A great friends to lovers story. Derrek and Ryan are great characters with a strong connection. Ryan is in a relationship with a guy who is no good for him and he always confides in Derrek. Derrek has feelings for Ryan and can't understand why Ryan keeps going back to Alex, and Ryan believes Derrek still mourns the death of his husband. Will they find their way to each other? Cute holiday story!
I voluntarily reviewed an advanced reader copy of this book.

[Fay MMBookworm · Rating 4 out of 5]

A gorgeous story for Derek and Ryan they'd been freinds for 5 years. Derek had liked Ryan for awhile but he had a boyfriend treating him badly. Christmas he just might get his wishes. A great story. This was a first read for this author and I really liked it.

[MariF · Rating 5 out of 5]

Another delightful story from one of my favorite authors.
It's a typical case of bad communications between MCs but they manage to talk to each other before making a fatal mistake and losing their chance forever.
Heart-warming holiday story that leaves you with a lots of warm and fuzzy feelings.

[Shelley Chastagner · Rating 5 out of 5]

Terrific little holiday story. Derrek's frustrated that Ryan can't seem to stay away from his nasty boyfriend; returning to him despite being put down and being cheated on AGAIN. I liked that they had such a strong friendship as a basis when they finally started a relationship of their own.

[Diane · Rating 4 out of 5]

How Long Should I Wait?

I loved the characters who were meant for each other...but one didn't recognize the fact until he was in crisis mode.

Abuse takes many forms.

[Ali · Rating 3 out of 5]

A Scattered Thoughts and Rogue Words Review An Alisa Review:

Rating: 3 stars out of 5

So….essentially Derrek and Ryan have been dancing around each other for years, being friends while Ryan is so sure that Derrek is still mourning his dead husband while he stays in a relationship that isn’t healthy. We can see Derrek hurting every time he sees Ryan’s boyfriend put him down or cheat, all it takes is Derrek to tell him that he deserves better. This story was cute but didn’t really sit well with me, I understood after Ryan explained at the end of the story about his lack of self-worth but I just couldn’t get why none of Ryan’s friends said anything to him over the past few years.

The cover art by Catherine Dair is nice and works well for the story.