Dolph the Unicorn Killer & Other Stories

by Martin Lastrapes

Wait, seriously? You want book info? Did you see the title? It's called Dolph the Unicorn Killer and Other Stories. Did you see the cover? Because that's Dolph. Look at that guy. Look at his biceps! Look at that decapitated unicorn head with its freshet of rainbow blood.

And now you want book info? As though that title and image alone can't tell you right away whether this is the book for you? Like you can't already tell whether you NEED to read this one, or seek more appropriate fair? Maybe you need something more normal. Something a little less…out there. And that's fine. There are lots of great books out there like cozy mysteries you might listen to over audio while darning socks. Maybe you'd like a bodice ripped or a heart pounded. You can find those.

But this?

This is Dolph the Unicorn Killer. And this is Martin Lastrapes. This is the acclaimed and award-winning author who brought you the utterly terrifying Inside the Outside and the utterly terrific The Vampire and the Hunter Trilogy.

This is vampires, serial killers, unicorns, and more, all of them intersecting within that alluring stretch of the American Southwest known as Las Vegas. This is a collection of short stories that shifts seamlessly from horror and comedy to fantasy and literary fiction, weaving together an eclectic tapestry of characters who are bonded by themes of loneliness, revenge, friendship, and sex.

This is the most badass, gloriously vulgar, gut-punching, giddy-inducing collection of short stories you'll ever encounter.

How's that for book info?

Genres: Fantasy

293 pages, Kindle Edition

Published October 27, 2017

About the author

MARTIN LASTRAPES is an acclaimed author and indie publisher known for his imaginative storytelling and signature humor. His works often explore unconventional characters, such as teenage cannibals, unicorn-killing superheroes, and fireproof college professors. His published works have earned numerous literary accolades, including the Grand Prize at the Paris Book Festival and the Gold Prize at the Self-Publishing Review Book Awards. A native of the Inland Empire in California (where he earned a Bachelor's degree in English and a Master's degree in Composition) he now calls Las Vegas home.

Reviews

[Mindy (Book Snitch) · Rating 3 out of 5]

Buy the book or borrow it from Amazon KU.
Im giving this 3.5 stars
See Blog Review Here
BOOK TRAILER HERE



This book only came across my radar because I was looking at some books I might want to review on BookSirens. However, Im worried about their review deadline requirement so Im afraid to commit. When I looked this up on Goodreads to add it to my TBR, I noticed it was on Amazon KU. Well, butter my butt and call me a biscuit, I immediately downloaded it and started reading it. I know what your thinking.. But why didn't you just download from BookSirens if you're going to read it anyway? Only because there are several other short stories in this book and Im only interested in the Unicorn one. Plus, the author gets paid if I use Amazon KU.

"If you’re squeamish about the details of what it looks like when a horned beast that sneezes rainbow sprinkles and shits ice cream dies beneath my sword, then you’d best stop reading now."

Now, on with my thoughts about Dolph the Unicorn Killer!


I'll try to make this quick. Dolph's parents are rich and have made their fortune making candy and ice-cream. They're also huge dirty balloon knots and are murdered by a Unicorn. Dolph isnt that great either but here were are, Dolph's story. Unicorns are real but only Dolph can see them, so he sounds crazy when he talks about killing Unicorns.



There is also a superhuman squad that Dolph has tried join but they dont want him. So its Dolph and his butler Joe, on the revenge hunt to kill the all unicorns. But really there is only one that Dolph wants, Golden Showers. That unicorn is a special kind of herpetic penis sore. When Dolph was a kid Golden Showers would break into his house and torture him. No, Im not going into detail because that is kind of the fun part about reading the book.



Some of the Unicorns that Dolph had killed include, Rainbow Kisses, Hurricane Hugs, Princess Pollywog, Lollipop Love Bucket and Lemon Drop Sunshine but no Golden Showers. And the cast of the Superhuman Squad include Courageous Man (Superman), Fantastic Femme (Wonder Woman), Lima Lad (Robin), Book-Hockey Man (Iron Man?? but sounds like bukkake). Trust me, the Superhuman squad makes an important appearance later so I thought I would mention them here. 🦸‍♂️ 🦹‍♀️

Book-Hockey quote:

"My Book-Hockey intuition is spurting like a geyser, wetting my face with purpose. And if your faces aren’t wet, then maybe I should wet them for you. This is the right thing to do."

So, there is a unicorn that seeks Dolph out for help and her name is Pink Gash, aka Pinky.



She wants Dolph to kill Golden Showers. Apparently Golden Showers has kidnapped a bunch of young unicorns to work in his ice cream shop.



Then... its gets a little weird. Pinky is kinky. This might make some people uncomfortable. LOL! I shouldn't have been surprised by this but I was.


But then there is a new discovery! Licorice Knight Mare, the black unicorn that everyone can see!


So.. I'd like to say more but really can't without giving this away. Actually, I've already said too much. Overall, I liked it. This was funny, strange and unusual, kind of weird but enjoyable. I will probably read the other stories later but definitely not right now.

"Whoa,” Pink Gash says, “I didn’t realize you were going there.” “It just seemed like the moment needed something dramatic to punctuate it.” “I think the horn in the ass kind of checked that box."

Buy the book or borrow it from Amazon KU.

[Amanda · Rating 3 out of 5]

When the cover image is animated/cartoon, my mind jumps to the conclusion that this is a kid's book. Pretty dead wrong assumption here and this one is, in a word, unnerving. I mean I know the title of the book is "Dolph the Unicorn Killer" but rainbow blood dripping from the neck of a decapitated unicorn head is a bit extreme, isn't it? But hey, to each his own.

I have found that I am enjoying books of short stories more and more. I am a self-proclaimed novel junky but sometimes a story idea can be fully explored in a much shorter venue such as a short story or a novella. Martin Lastrapes proved it here with this collection of short stories bound by a few characters, the Dolph comics series and the backdrop of Vas Vegas; cleverly linked, I thought.

For those of us who have a hard time getting back to the business of real life when in the middle of a good book, short stories are the perfect tidbit for the literature breaks in the day. I will recommend this widely.

[Grady · Rating 5 out of 5]

One powerhouse of fun!

California author Martin Lastrapes earned his degrees in English and in Composition form Cal State San Bernardino and has won many impressive awards for his books – The Vampire and the Hunter Trilogy, Inside The Outside, and Dolph the Unicorn Killer & Other Stories.

This being the first of Martin’s books this reader has discovered makes the journey into the author’s mind and wit and writing style an unforgettably rewarding experience. The topics of choice for these short stories border on incredible – so in touch with the realm of wild fantasy that the tales feel real! This author is gifted, not only in his selection of wild ideas, but also in the bracing style of his prose. At times naughty, at times even insightful, the short stories in this book are little masterworks of ingenuity.

A sample: the first story is The Vampire & the Madman – ‘Las Vegas is a desert. And I’m a vampire. We’re a match made in heaven, friend, and until recently I never wanted to be anywhere else in the world. Locals know Las Vegas is a desert, as do a few tourists. But, if everything you know about Las Vegas comes form movies and television, then you probably think the entirety of my city is the Strip. Bright lights, resort hotels, celebrity chefs, gambling, casino, sex, and more. More, more, more.’ And it is this open invitation to enter Martin’s world that draws the reader in and keeps attention glued to the madness of the stories.

Listing the titles of the stories of this volume does not begin to share the bounty, but a sampling hints at it – Invisible Cosmic Fingers, The Flying Game, The Revenge of City Marlow, Peppermint Breath (one very smart tale related by a kid in this age of iPads etc), and others, including of course the title tale of Dolph the Unicorn Killer.

Wild fantasies and science fiction type stories can either plunk along to aid ennui, or they can soar – and soaring is what these shorties do. Martin Lastrapes is a first class scribe about whom we will most assuredly hear more. Highly recommended.

[Sarah Z · Rating 4 out of 5]

I received an ARC of this from the publisher in exchange for an honest review.

I’m not going to lie. I requested this book based on the title and the great cover art. I didn’t actually read too much of the description so I was surprised when it wasn’t a graphic novel, but instead, a collection of short stories ...without pictures. That was completely fine though because I enjoyed this book.

Some stories were much better than others but I loved how one story would connect to another in a small or significant way. I found myself looking forward to finding them throughout the book. The story about the books namesake did not disappoint. It was dark, but very entertaining in a funny, violent sort of way. I also enjoyed the story about The outsiders. I didn’t realize, this being my first book by this author, that he wrote an entire book on this cult and Timber.

I would definitely recommend this to friends who enjoy something light, witty, and supernatural with the right amount of darkness and violence. I plan on checking out more books by this author.

[S. Murphy · Rating 5 out of 5]

Is there anyone out there writing... whatever this genre is--kind of horror but charming? I don't know. But is anyone doing it as imaginatively as Martin Lastrapes? I don't think so. These stories will make you laugh and cringe--sometimes simultaneously. Lastrapes is brilliant. Love his work.

[Rebecca · Rating 5 out of 5]

Love love love

This book is so good! It’s a collection of short stories and has different characters. I really liked looking for little hints or cameos of other characters in the other stories and they were all so interesting. If you are looking for a book that keeps you turning pages this one is it. Not only because the writing is good, but because the story changes due to it being a short story. Wish there were more books like this out there.

[Olwyn Ducker · Rating 4 out of 5]

A good read, try it

[Dr. T Loves Books · Rating 3 out of 5]

Disclaimer: I am reviewing this book in exchange for having received a free advanced reader copy.

What it's about: This anthology about characters from Las Vegas covers a lot of ground, from serious and somber to wild and wacky. There are two main connective threads: the characters of each story have passed through the stories of the other characters in one way or another; and most of the characters reference Dolph as a comic book character.

What I thought: I read the whole thing, and found some of it interesting. But the overall impression was of a college student's writing assignment. The central conceit that ties the stories together doesn't really feel necessary. It's also unevenly applied; there's one character who gets two stories, and a jump ahead in time. The others seem to be taking place at the same time.

The stories themselves are also a bit uneven. Some feel more like a character sketch or moment in time rather than a developed story with a conflict and a resolution. Some just go for being outrageous and shocking, while others seem to point toward something a bit deeper.

At the same time, there's a feeling of repetitiousness in some of the pieces. There's a lot of first person narration, and a lot of the beginnings of the stories sound rather similar before the plots have a chance to diverge.

To be honest, I was expecting a whole lot of Dolph, and his is the very last story in the anthology. I was also expecting more from the story of Dolph. It was a strange combination of slapstick and satire that pulls at the Batman origin story very heavily, but in a way that doesn't seem to have much to say about it; Dolph was more of a Batman rip-off than satire. It's a shame, because turning the unicorn mythology upside down could be fun and interesting. That's not really what happens here, though. Dolph is an almost entirely unsympathetic protagonist whose story feels like a weird funhouse version of Batman's - strangely distorted and a little unsettling.

Why I rated it like I did: The inconsistency of tone from story to story in this anthology is going to make it difficult for this book to find its audience. The folks that like the Dolph story are REALLY going to like it, but they will probably not be as into some of the more subtle or deep pieces. And vice-versa.

Nevertheless, there were some interesting moments. If you're looking for something a bit different, this might be the book you're seeking.

Disclaimer #2: I received an advance review copy for free of this book, and I am leaving this review voluntarily.

[Kacey Watson · Rating 3 out of 5]

I received an advance reader copy for free, and I am leaving this review voluntarily.

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Okay, right off the bat, I have to confess that the title of this book is rather misleading. Dolph’s story doesn’t appear until close to the very end, and he’s certainly not what you would call the main character.

Instead, the first story we’re presented with is that of a Las Vegas vampire, who finds himself on the losing end of an encounter with a vampire hunter. But instead of killing the vampire, the hunter - also known as “the madman” - captures our hero and proceeds to use him as a guinea pig for various ways to kill/weaken vampires.

Our hero tells his story directly to us, the readers, whom he refers to only as his friend. However, he seems to be telling this story aloud, as a couple of the other captive vampires the madman has collected question who he’s talking to. It’s insinuated that the vampire isn’t telling his story to us, but has in fact gone insane from the torture, and believes that he has an audience to talk to.

When I read the exerpt of the book, which was the first few pages of Dolph’s story, I expected the other stories to contain the same crude humor, but I found myself disappointed. While the vampire’s story was interesting, and made me feel pity for him and the other vampires, it was anything but humorous.

Lack of humor aside, though, as a serious story about a captive, terrified, possibly insane vampire, it does its job well, and is worth reading.

Read the remainder of the review here: https://wolfgoddess77.dreamwidth.org/...

[Robert · Rating 4 out of 5]

Firstly, thanks to Booksirens, the author and publisher for a free advance review copy of this book. I am leaving this review voluntarily

Do not, for the love of good books, judge this book by its cover! Or its title. This is not a kid's book. Please, do not let your kids read this book, unless you want to leave them deeply disturbed (if that's the case, then go for your life).

This collection of short stories ranges from the gruesome, to the erotic, to the plain straight which leaves you thinking "what was the point of that?", to the comical. It's not until about two thirds of the way into the book that the characters and stories start to interconnect. At this point, my interest piqued even further.

Lastrapes does a great job at piecing it all together for you, all while exploring the dark and seedy sides of Las Vegas and the human psyche. I'd highly recommend this to fans of horror short stories and comedy, although those two genres don't necessarily appear at the same time.

[Shannon Patterson · Rating 4 out of 5]

If you’re looking for a book that is different then this might be for you. I mean just look at the cover and you know it’s different. This is a collection of short stories. It’s a little cross genre but mostly horror with some humor. I enjoyed the majority of this book. There was one story I really didn’t like (won’t say which one as I don’t want to influence anyone’s enjoyment), which is why I have 4 stars instead of 5.

Being that it’s short stories it was easy to read it spread out a little instead of all at once.

I received a ARC of this book via BookSirens and am leaving a voluntary honest review.

[Jay · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5/5*
This is one of those books that I wish I could leave half stars. I enjoyed the book for the most part, there were stories in there that were more poignant than I expected, and there was stuff in there that I don’t care to read again. I loved how the stories tied together. I loved the subtle and then not so subtle interconnectedness. The content on some of the stories was not to my liking however. The title story was not really to my liking although I fully appreciated the oddity of it. I am interested to read other books by Martin Lastrapes.

I was given this book for free at my request for this honest review.

[Riley · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book was full of stories ranging from amusing to disturbing and everything in between. Because it made me laugh outloud several times, my favorite tale was The Big Night, but I enjoyed most of this collection. Dolph himself was quite an entertaining character, and it was a fun twist that his feats entertained other characters in this book too. All in all, I think there is a story in this book for everyone, even if everyone might not like every story.

I was given a free copy of this book, but that did not affect my review.

[Susan · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book is a collection of the author’s short stories. His stories filled with different characters such as vampires, serial killers, unicorns, and morel. His writing has horror and humor, fantasy and literary writing (?}. The stories include themes of loneliness, revenge, friendship, and sex. At times, I did think his stories are outrageous as they are at times vulgar and badass.

Disclaimer: I received an arc of this book from the author. I wasn’t obligated to write a favorable review. The opinions expressed are strictly my own.

[Keri]

When I read the preview of this book I was laughing so hard I started crying. I couldn't wait to finish my current book so that I could start it. Unfortunately I was disappointed. Most of the other stories in the book were depressing. I enjoy dark humor but this didn't fit. When I finally got to Dolph's story I enjoyed it at the beginning but Dolph quickly got on my nerves, he was just so stupid! He had a little bit of character development which helped but not enough to redeem the rest of the book. The one thing I did really enjoy was how most of the stories were connected in some way, either by characters, places or events. I feel that made it a much more enjoyable read of short stories.
I received an advance review copy for free, and I am leaving this review voluntarily.

[Phillip Murrell · Rating 2 out of 5]

Bait and Switch

I really need to read the fine print in blurbs more. I thought this book would mostly be about Dolph the Unicorn Killer. He's mentioned throughout the short stories but his story is only about fifteen percent of the book. It was a wild ride, but the blurb gave me different expectations, so it can never be more than three stars from me. The book was light on the fantasy I expected and read more like erotica (which I hate). I would have liked more fantasy and less bestiality. The rest of my review will contain spoilers.

The Good.
I'm from Las Vegas, so the scenes were familiar.

The Dolph story was alright. I thought Dolph and Joe acted like Archer and Woodhouse from the FX show.

It's definitely different.

The Bad.
I felt the blurb was misleading. The book I read wasn't what I expected.

Most of the stories were normal, but with sexual energy.

The Technical.
There is a lot of violence, profanity, sex, and even bestiality.

The book is written in present tense.

The first story narrator breaks the fourth wall.