In September of 2004, Rebecca Tauber Mali, the wife of performance poet Taylor Mali, killed herself by jumping out the window of their apartment in New York City. She was a teacher, and it was morning on the first day of school. In this haunting new collection of poems, Taylor Mali, once a teacher himself, explores her life and their love as well as the shape and texture of his own guilt and resilience.
Taylor Mali is a former teacher and classically trained actor who now makes his living as a professional poet. One of the original poets to appear on the HBO series Russell Simmons Presents Def Poetry, he is a veteran of the poetry slam and the author of What Learning Leaves and several spoken word CDs and DVDs. He lives and writes in New York City. For more information, visit www.taylormali.com"
This chapbook broke my heart. What makes it even more heartbreaking is that the departed belovèd's name is Rebecca. 😩 Just plunge that knife in and twist.
Ah, Saturday...I think I'll read some poetry since the internet is so grim of late. Twenty minutes later: *sobbing into the pages of this chapbook*
This chapbook is a knife.
It is precise as it flays you open.
I would be hesitant to share a single poem, cut from whole muscle, because it would no longer move or bleed the same way. You must read it all, from start to finish, and I'm sorry because it will hurt.
I applaud Rattle’s selection for their 2017 Chapbook Prize. This is the most astonishing chapbook I’ve read. The poems deal with the suicide of Mali’s wife, her life and their life leading up to it, the shocking event itself, and how he got through it. The writing (or healing) covers at least nine years, but even that wouldn’t have allowed most writers to write so well about such a devastating event. He balances on the tightrope of being poignant, even profound, without toppling off into the maudlin. I had to remind myself to breathe as I read it. As Rattle editor, Tim Green, says, “It speaks a truth that needed to be written, needs to be read, and stands as a testament to the human need for poetry itself.”
Although Mali became well known for slam poetry, appearing on the HBO Def Poetry Jam Series, these poems are written in a quieter, more literary form. He even includes a sestina and villanelle. The topic requires a gentler handling, since you'll want to read them in private at your own pace.
Sorry not to give you a writing sample, but it seems unfair to quote from a 19-poem collection. Together, the poems carry the weight of a much longer book, but you need to experience them in the order Mali chose.
So, I remember entering into the Rattle chapbook contest, and then getting yet another "sorry no" email from them. But in that "sorry no" email, Rattle also announced the winner - Taylor Mali. Now, Taylor Mali has been a HUGE influence on me - like, his poetry is what got me into spoken word poetry. I credit him as one of the people who has changed my life for the better. So when I find out HE won the contest, I was actually honored to have lost to him, in all honesty. AND THEN, I got a copy of his chapbook in the mail with my Rattle poetry magazine. I was all kinds of excited to read it. And boy, am I glad I did read it. Beyond the story of the chapbook, a central theme I caught onto right away was Mali's sense of Survivor's Guilt. Suicide is a tragedy, and when it happens to people you love, you feel responsible in some way for it. Even though you weren't part of the actual killing process, you feel guilt kind of pressing into your gut because you think that you could've done something, you should've done something, I did this, which probably helped the person come to consider suicide as a viable option to solving problems, etc. This kind of survivor's guilt cuts deep and in completely different ways than normal. Mali explores this throughout the chapbook. It was literally the push I needed to write about my own sense of survivor's guilt. It sat with me, instead of compel me to move on with these feelings. It kind of felt like listening to a Linkin Park album, in that sense. There is so much power in that. Often, I think we're all so afraid to sit down and confront our feelings because we have a feeling we won't be able to handle them solo. When someone "sits with us," we're better able to process what's going on, because we don't feel so alone anymore. Somebody else gets it, and they can communicate it. I can do it, too. So, thank you so much, Taylor, not only for giving me literally the best thing to have happened to me thus far in my 24 years of life, but also for just sitting with me. All the best wishes and virtual hugs to you. <3
Mali’s collection detailing the aftermath of his wife’s suicide won the Rattle 2017 chapbook contest. Mali is known as part of the poetry slam movement, and has won the National Poetry Slam several times. Slam poets are storytellers, and their poems are topical. These poems reflect the tight, precise imagery associated with slam poetry. They are not spare, but, as a properly sharpened chef’s knife, they cut straight to the bone. Every one of the nineteen poems in the chapbook is vital to the collection. Mali’s words on the page deliver the same passion, insight, and exploration as when he performs them. Just as the effects of suicide leave a survivor changed, so does the power of Mali’s words.
I am a big fan of Taylor Mali's work, and have been lucky enough to see him in performance several times. This is a fantastic book, filled with poems that surprise, move, despair, delight. Well worth reading.
Beautiful and heart wrenching and thought provoking. What more could you want from a collection of poetry? It is small chap book of poems dedicated to, in response to, about his late wife, Rebecca. It is a wonderful read even though a few poems left me in tears.
This is the chapbook that won the Rattle prize when mine didn’t. Well, I bow to superior talent. This little book is stunning. The 19 poems here are all about or addressed to his first wife, who committed suicide by jumping out of a sixth-story window in New York. Could he have stopped her? Was there something he could have done to help her? How does he go on now? He mulls these questions, linking some of them to the people who jumped from the towers on 9/11. I am gobsmacked by every one of these poems. Most are free verse, although Mali includes a villanelle and a sestina. The form disappears in the power of the content. I keep coming back to “Making Ravioli,” which may be the most beautiful and appetizing metaphor I have ever seen. “If you were the flour, I would say you hold me like the eggs, broken and mixed up as I am. . .” So good.
I have been reading a book of poems every day this week, and this one is one I'll return to again, even though it is such a difficult subject. They say "Write what you know" but Mali shows us that the best poems are the ones we don't want to write, the ones that we scrape from the inside of our riskiest corners. Here he filets his darkest secrets...and yet his honesty frees even the reader. I won't elaborate because spoilers are the worst, but read this book and find out.
This book won the 2017 Rattle Chapbook Prize contest and is a beautiful example of how a small book can successfully circle a single topic like an oyster shell around a pearl. It's highly focused but not obsessive--you sense there was a life lived in between the writings of these poems--and brave in every sense of the word. I hope publishing it frees him from the unbearable haunting of what-ifs.
Heartbreaking and questioning how depression is manifested and communicated. Here are some quotes: "And I was going to write a poem about how fire is the only thing that can make a person jump out a window. And maybe I'm an idiot for thinking I could have saved her, could have loved her more, or told the truth about children. But depression, too, is a kind of fire. And I know nothing of either." "When she jumped from the window and they searched the apartment, they found in the bathroom a knife, its edge unbloodied, as sharp as a razor.
And I keep thinking of the second pass, how it sharpens as it dulls the working edge, how the one has a real and necessary need of the other to do what it does."
I bought this book because I read the word deformioli on page 8 while skimming and laughed so hard I nearly fell over myself. I took it home not expecting much, after all, I had bought it on a whim of fancy and only sought to show off my funny find.
And then I opened it again in boredom. Read another poem just to know what was in it. I skipped all around that book that afternoon, reading and re-reading it too many times to count. I found sorrow in those pages, I found loss. I found healing and some distant resonance of a parallel me. I found a man who could write the word deformioli in all seriousness and still make me cry.
The only reason I don't give a full 5 stars is because I'm mad about how much I enjoyed this book.
A chapbook of poems about the poet's wife's suicide and the emotional impact it made on his life.
from Depression, Too, Is a Kind of Fire: "And I was going to write a poem about how fire is the only thing that can make a person jump out of a window. And maybe I'm an idiot for thinking I could have saved her, could have loved her more, or told the truth about children. But depression, too, is a kind of fire. And I know nothing of either."
from The New Ash on the Roof of Our Building: "Once, I planted a flower in an open field / not far from my own grave, haunted, / except instead of a flower it was a tree. // And instead of an open field, / it was the rooftop of our building. / And instead of my grave, it was yours."
I have been a fan of Taylor Mali for many years; ever since I saw his performance on Def Poetry Jam. Since then I have tried to follow him as he published works on various topics.
My intrigue for Mali came to a peak when he began posting videos of himself reading poems that would comprise The Whetting Stone. More than once I teared up and, even so, reading this short volume of works.
The piece that will always stick out to me, as it did when I first heard it, is "Depression, Too, is a Kind of Fire". Beautifully and expertly written. I would expect nothing less from Mr. Mali.
Is it poetry? Why yes, of course, in every way: pared down to essence, moving like water, heartbreaking and spare and complex and personal. But it reads as story, narrative, gripping drama, tragedy. Mali makes no apology for grit, for ugly, for all wounds laid bare. He also stitches them up with his humanity.
Wow! I meant to only read one or two poems and then get on with my day because I have so much to do. It was so compelling that I read the next one and then the next one and finished reading it about an hour or so. What poignant, heart-gripping, poetry! I had never heard of Taylor Mali before, but apparently, he's been on the scene for a while. He's extraordinary. Mali can count me among his fans.
I have been a fan of Taylor Mali's work for years, but this chapbook is so different from his past work, which focuses on the advocacy of teachers. In this slim collection of poetry, Mali explores his relationship with his first wife, who suffered from crippling depression, her suicide, and his resilience and survival after her death. Heartbreaking.
This book spares the reader of nothing, including its beauty. Writing about suicide could get gratuitous, and perhaps it's because Mali is such a deft wordsmith, but there is nothing gratuitous here. Just truth in its unflinching, measured, confessional tone. 'The Small Room Just Off the Evidence Cage' killed me though.
This chapbook is sensational..and absolutely heartbreaking. The pages ache with truth and emotion. I am stunned by the raw honesty...and incredibly impressed with Taylor Mali's ability to express his experience, his grief. Congratulations on winning the 2017 Rattle Chapbook Prize...well-deserved!
At first glance, the premise is simple, but these poems are more complex than they seem. For more in-depth discussion, visit my blog: https://outsideofacat.wordpress.com/2... Not an easy book, but well worth reading.
As a longtime fan of Taylor Mali, I was blown away by this collection. The raw emotion from discussing his first wife's suicide is painful to endure with him. Almost as raw as Donald Hall... Great reads
I was a fan of Mali's work before reading The Whetting Stone, but I was unprepared for this. He peeled back his skin and showed some of his most raw parts in this chapbook. Reading it was an emotional experience and I am grateful that he decided to share this with us.
This is not the kind of poetry that I usually read, but I love the powerful story behind it and what it teaches us. I also love the courage that the poet has to be so deeply naked and vulnerable on the page.
This collection of poems has a really sensational villanelle at its center: "Do Not Think of Suicide as the Ultimate F**k You." Granted, the entire chapbook is a distillation of the poet's painful memories of his first wife's suicide but nothing comes close to this one in terms of economy and effectiveness, rigor of form and unrelentingness of feeling. But that would be hard to do. It's a real stunner.