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A Moment of Grace
How do you learn to live in the wake of death? Patrick Dillon and Nicola Thorold were together for twenty-eight years. Patrick was an award-winning architect and writer and Nicola a leading figure in theatre, awarded an OBE for her contribution to the arts at London's Roundhouse. Their two children were almost grown-up. Life was good. And then, in May 2015, Nicola was diagnosed with leukaemia. After several rounds of treatment, a bone marrow transplant and many waves of recovery and decline, she died thirteen months after her diagnosis. Six months later, at Christmas, Patrick started to write. A Moment of Grace is the searing, tender account of Patrick's life with Nicola and her illness, and his life after her loss. But it is more than a story of illness and unbearable it is a book of memory, of home, of family. It is a tale of the transfiguring power of love. Heartbreaking, life-affirming and truly unforgettable, A Moment of Grace is one man's journey to find life after his wife's death.
- GenresNonfiction
ebook
Published May 24, 2018
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Displaying 1 - 24 of 24 reviews
May 20, 2018
In May 2015, Nichola was diagnosed with leukaemia. After several rounds of treatment, a bone marrow transplant and many waves of recovery and decline, she died thirteen months after her diagnosis. Six months later, at Christmas, Patrick started to write.
Nicola Thorold was a leading figure in theatre. She was awarded an OBE for her contribution to the arts at London's Roundhouse. Nichola and Patrick had been together for twenty-eight years. This is a beautifully written book. At times it's heartbreaking to read. I do recommend this book.
I would like to thank NetGalley, Penguin Random House, Ebury Publishing and the author Patrick Dillon for my ARC in exchange for an honest review.
Nicola Thorold was a leading figure in theatre. She was awarded an OBE for her contribution to the arts at London's Roundhouse. Nichola and Patrick had been together for twenty-eight years. This is a beautifully written book. At times it's heartbreaking to read. I do recommend this book.
I would like to thank NetGalley, Penguin Random House, Ebury Publishing and the author Patrick Dillon for my ARC in exchange for an honest review.
June 24, 2018
(I read the first 29 pages and skimmed the rest.) A touching short memoir of the last year of his wife Nicola Thorold’s life, in which she battled acute myeloid leukemia. Thorold, a theatre producer, only died two years ago this month, which I would usually say is too short a gestation time to move from grief into appreciation, but Dillon actually does a very nice job of celebrating his wife’s life and courage. He doesn’t shy away from the pain and difficulties of that final year, but is also able to summon up some gratitude.
June 27, 2018
This is a true story, touching, moving and written with love and dignity in memory of Nicola, Patrick’s partner for the last 28 years. Nicola lost her life to leukaemia in 2016. Writing this book has been Patrick’s way to deal with his loss of Nicola besides honouring his courageous wife who never gave up fighting her illness.
There is a little background information of how life use to be for them but the majority of the chapters take you from the day the call from the doctor to Patrick came, asking his wife to go to the surgery, to the time of her death and just beyond. From hearing the terrible news the couple never give up hope, tried to stay positive and keep life as near to normal as possible, even when Nicola spent long periods in hospital under going treatment and times of infections where she was dreadfully ill.
Talk about wearing you heart on your sleeve, nothing is held back. There is a difference between never giving up and being realistic and they knew which was which. Patrick talks of a closeness between them that many people never experience in their lives and this was shared with their two grown up children. New dynamics took place in the family and they found strength in each other when they were spent.
There is also an honest account of how they saw the care that was given to Nicola from nursing staff. Nicola’s fears and at times incredible courage. It is a very intimate journey, one which it only felt right to read in a very quite environment, I don’t know it was like respecting the harder moments that Patrick shared and at times reflect on myself. A very moving and honest tribute to Nicola, Patrick has done them both proud.
Thank you to the publisher and NetGalley for inviting me to read this book which I have reviewed honestly
There is a little background information of how life use to be for them but the majority of the chapters take you from the day the call from the doctor to Patrick came, asking his wife to go to the surgery, to the time of her death and just beyond. From hearing the terrible news the couple never give up hope, tried to stay positive and keep life as near to normal as possible, even when Nicola spent long periods in hospital under going treatment and times of infections where she was dreadfully ill.
Talk about wearing you heart on your sleeve, nothing is held back. There is a difference between never giving up and being realistic and they knew which was which. Patrick talks of a closeness between them that many people never experience in their lives and this was shared with their two grown up children. New dynamics took place in the family and they found strength in each other when they were spent.
There is also an honest account of how they saw the care that was given to Nicola from nursing staff. Nicola’s fears and at times incredible courage. It is a very intimate journey, one which it only felt right to read in a very quite environment, I don’t know it was like respecting the harder moments that Patrick shared and at times reflect on myself. A very moving and honest tribute to Nicola, Patrick has done them both proud.
Thank you to the publisher and NetGalley for inviting me to read this book which I have reviewed honestly
September 22, 2019
Patrick Dillon's A Moment of Grace was always going to be a difficult read. To go on a journey with someone when you already know the outcome is going to be one that will tear you apart is never an easy thing to do. It is also one I have experienced in my personal life far too many times. To watch someone you love slip away from you is one of the worst things you can experience. It leaves you with such a feeling of helplessness. You spend so much time trying to do the impossible to save someone who can't be. Then for me at least you become racked with guilt over wasting what time you have trying to do the impossible.
When you first pick up this book and skim the blurb it gives you everything you need to know about the book. But information alone is not what this book is about. The emotional trail Dillon leads you on is what this book is all about. It gives you a front-row seat to what it is like to lose a loved one. If you have not experienced this in your life I envy you. When going through it my self the last thing I would have ever thought about is writing a book about it. But maybe this makes the author a stronger person than me. He is not one to shy away from each of these bleak moments. The very ins and outs of what happens within the NHS in final care are laid out across the pages. If you are at the begin of this journey your self I can see how this book would be a great help for you. What made this book for me is that this is not just a cold book field with the hard truths of what happens. He has chosen to fill the book with what made his wife who she was. What made her a living breathing woman. What made those who came to care deeply for her do so in the first place.
Whether you have lived this or not, it is a very raw and honest book to come to terms with. I can't help but see in my mind's eye the author shed more than a few tears as he typed out his manuscript. How do you come to terms with everything that has happened. In some ways, there must have been a cathartic element to gritting this book. A place to put all those thoughts the fly a million miles hour around your head. Which in no way is to say we are letting go of them. We do in fact never let go, they are there every day when you see there favorite book or a smell that brings them right back to you. It just becomes easier to deal with. Hurts a little less when you see there smile in your mind. As much as this book is about death it is also about celebrating a life that has slipped away. A form of remembering them to those who did not know them and those who did. There is for me is a deep softness to this book that can only come from having truly loved someone.
If you do decide to pick up a copy of this, I would suggest having a box of tissues not too far away. For everything, this book is to me there is a comfort to be found within its pages. That we are not alone in this process of grief. That it is fundamentally a very human experience that at some point we will all experience. Can I say that it is easier knowing the end is coming? I have no idea, I have witnessed first hand both and they have ripped me apart with just as much furry. This is a book that is difficult to quantify. It is touching and soft all the while being brutal and raw. But for me at least it was worth the journey.
When you first pick up this book and skim the blurb it gives you everything you need to know about the book. But information alone is not what this book is about. The emotional trail Dillon leads you on is what this book is all about. It gives you a front-row seat to what it is like to lose a loved one. If you have not experienced this in your life I envy you. When going through it my self the last thing I would have ever thought about is writing a book about it. But maybe this makes the author a stronger person than me. He is not one to shy away from each of these bleak moments. The very ins and outs of what happens within the NHS in final care are laid out across the pages. If you are at the begin of this journey your self I can see how this book would be a great help for you. What made this book for me is that this is not just a cold book field with the hard truths of what happens. He has chosen to fill the book with what made his wife who she was. What made her a living breathing woman. What made those who came to care deeply for her do so in the first place.
Whether you have lived this or not, it is a very raw and honest book to come to terms with. I can't help but see in my mind's eye the author shed more than a few tears as he typed out his manuscript. How do you come to terms with everything that has happened. In some ways, there must have been a cathartic element to gritting this book. A place to put all those thoughts the fly a million miles hour around your head. Which in no way is to say we are letting go of them. We do in fact never let go, they are there every day when you see there favorite book or a smell that brings them right back to you. It just becomes easier to deal with. Hurts a little less when you see there smile in your mind. As much as this book is about death it is also about celebrating a life that has slipped away. A form of remembering them to those who did not know them and those who did. There is for me is a deep softness to this book that can only come from having truly loved someone.
If you do decide to pick up a copy of this, I would suggest having a box of tissues not too far away. For everything, this book is to me there is a comfort to be found within its pages. That we are not alone in this process of grief. That it is fundamentally a very human experience that at some point we will all experience. Can I say that it is easier knowing the end is coming? I have no idea, I have witnessed first hand both and they have ripped me apart with just as much furry. This is a book that is difficult to quantify. It is touching and soft all the while being brutal and raw. But for me at least it was worth the journey.
August 24, 2018
I received a free copy via Netgalley in exchange for a honest review.
This is a really heart warming and sad story.
You can really feel the love they have for each other.
This is a really heart warming and sad story.
You can really feel the love they have for each other.
Read
January 27, 2018A really beautiful book, I’d recommend it to everyone.
July 1, 2018
Deeply moving story of how the devastation of a Leukaemia diagnosis burst into the lives of Patrick and Nicola and changed everything forever . Well written and medically accurate I felt like I was travelling this journey alongside them wishing for a better outcome . Patrick is not afraid to show his inner feelings in the writing of this book and having an understanding of his loss impacts on a family I can only but wish them all the best as they continue life without a soulmate , mother and friend . Thank you to the publisher and netgalley for the opportunity to read this book in exchange for an honest review .
August 22, 2018
Amazing !
This book gripped me from the start. I couldn't put it down. Patrick shares with such depth, honesty and transparency. His writing+ retelling of his story really drew me into their intimate journey with each other, their family and cancer. This book would benefit anyone who has lost a loved one to cancer. It gave me a greater understanding to one of my family members who lost his spouse to cancer. It also challenged me to appreciate the many moments of life, where nothing much is happening. Patrick learned through cancer to treasure these simple moments.
This book gripped me from the start. I couldn't put it down. Patrick shares with such depth, honesty and transparency. His writing+ retelling of his story really drew me into their intimate journey with each other, their family and cancer. This book would benefit anyone who has lost a loved one to cancer. It gave me a greater understanding to one of my family members who lost his spouse to cancer. It also challenged me to appreciate the many moments of life, where nothing much is happening. Patrick learned through cancer to treasure these simple moments.
June 15, 2018
This is a very sad but beautifully written true story.a diary written by the Author of how he coped with his wife's illness and death.This is an extremely moving story perhaps not for everyone.Many thanks to the Publisher,the Author and NetGalley for this review copy in return for an honest review.
August 7, 2018
Simply amazing
Took my breath away. Never before have I read a book with such beautiful honesty about love, life and loss.
It will stay with me forever, perfectly written.
Her life will be celebrated in his words forever.
Took my breath away. Never before have I read a book with such beautiful honesty about love, life and loss.
It will stay with me forever, perfectly written.
Her life will be celebrated in his words forever.
February 28, 2019
Lovely heartfelt story about the trauma of illness and what not only the person suffering from the illness goes through but also the heartache of the family. Although it was sad at times it told the story of the love between two people and how they got through it together.
April 29, 2019
I couldn’t put this book down. So beautifully written and although it’s about a super sad topic the story isn’t sad at all. I did cry but for all the right reasons! A story of love and loss is exactly what it is. So beautiful
October 7, 2019
This is a beautifully written and very heartfelt book. The author portrays the love he has for his wife and his grief with eloquence and emotion. A difficult read at times, but one that is definitely recommended.
June 1, 2021
Heart-wrenching. I didn't think I would appreciate this, but reading Patrick and Nicola's story has taught me the importance of cherishing the relationships I have now.
Death is a great herald. He calls people to pause and to reflect.
Death is a great herald. He calls people to pause and to reflect.
October 11, 2023
Don't be thinking this is just another book about a person dying, that does it no justice. This was a kind, thoughful and moving book about one family's journey, and the graciousness of the person navigating their cancer journey.
August 17, 2018
I really liked this book. It totally captured what it's like to be on a journey with somebody who means the world to you and who has cancer. Beautifully written yet easy to read.
January 2, 2019
Raw and emotional, heartbroken and inspirational at the same time! I recomend this book
March 24, 2020
Written with such love and honesty, this book charts Patrick’s and his wife Grace’s journey from the day their world fell apart when Grace received a diagnosis of leukaemia to beyond her death. In turns heartbreaking and uplifting, I loved this book. I feel truly privileged for being able to travel this journey with them and hope that in telling Grace’s story with so much humanity, Patrick found a tiny bit of peace.
May 13, 2018
This is undoubtedly a story of deep sadness and distress for the family involved. Primarily, books like this enable the bereaved to share their grief as part of their recovery. It is up to readers to choose whether one family's story of illness and death is something they want to go through. It is emotionally challenging and very sensitively written as a diary of the author's coping with his wife's illness and death. Whether it is a book that helps others is for readers to decide for themselves.
June 15, 2018
This is a very sad but beautifully written true story.a diary written by the Author of how he coped with his wife's illness and death.This is an extremely moving story perhaps not for everyone.Many thanks to the Publisher,the Author and NetGalley for this review copy in return for an honest review.
July 1, 2018
Deeply moving story of how the devastation of a Leukaemia diagnosis burst into the lives of Patrick and Nicola and changed everything forever . Well written and medically accurate I felt like I was travelling this journey alongside them wishing for a better outcome . Patrick is not afraid to show his inner feelings in the writing of this book and having an understanding of his loss impacts on a family I can only but wish them all the best as they continue life without a soulmate , mother and friend . Thank you to the publisher and netgalley for the opportunity to read this book in exchange for an honest review .
July 14, 2018
I'm never sure what I think about this type of book. This was a family story of bereavement. It is beautifully written. The author has tried not to make it sad. Nichola dies from leukaemia after more than a year battling through treatment with such dignity. Although early in the book we are told Nichola will die, the journey she takes is remarkable and not always as one expects. Many of us will wish, that we will conduct ourselves like Nichola and that made me glad to have read this book. Illness does not follow familiar patterns. Despite the outcome, this book contains positivity and hope, it does though emphasise the journey for everyone.
September 14, 2018
A moving tale of love and loss.
This is the story, told by Patrick Dillon, of his wife’s last months of life after being diagnosed with leukaemia. Patrick is an architect and writer, his wife Nicola was a successful producer working at the Roundhouse London. They had been married for 28 years, their life together seemed idyllic, a perfect relationship, two lovely children, interesting careers, great lifestyle – and then the bombshell dropped.
In many ways, this is a difficult book to read. The outcome, death, is known from the start. It is a matter of travelling with Patrick, Nicola and their children through the harrowing progress of the illness. It is a roller-coaster of emotions as the treatments which cause so much suffering alternatively give them hope and then despair as Nicola falls victim to one infection after another.
There were moments when I almost felt like an intruder on a love that is described in great detail. Many events in their married life are recalled in the narrative, and all of them seem perfect. It is a love that only deepens as they experience the last and final tragedy together.
Deaths from cancer are never good. There have been many descriptions of living and dying from cancer, written in many different ways. The one positive to take away from Patrick’s beautifully told account is that their life together had been so perfect. He has been left with wonderful memories and the support of his children to help him through his grief.
Jane
Breakaway Reviewers received a copy of the book to review.
This is the story, told by Patrick Dillon, of his wife’s last months of life after being diagnosed with leukaemia. Patrick is an architect and writer, his wife Nicola was a successful producer working at the Roundhouse London. They had been married for 28 years, their life together seemed idyllic, a perfect relationship, two lovely children, interesting careers, great lifestyle – and then the bombshell dropped.
In many ways, this is a difficult book to read. The outcome, death, is known from the start. It is a matter of travelling with Patrick, Nicola and their children through the harrowing progress of the illness. It is a roller-coaster of emotions as the treatments which cause so much suffering alternatively give them hope and then despair as Nicola falls victim to one infection after another.
There were moments when I almost felt like an intruder on a love that is described in great detail. Many events in their married life are recalled in the narrative, and all of them seem perfect. It is a love that only deepens as they experience the last and final tragedy together.
Deaths from cancer are never good. There have been many descriptions of living and dying from cancer, written in many different ways. The one positive to take away from Patrick’s beautifully told account is that their life together had been so perfect. He has been left with wonderful memories and the support of his children to help him through his grief.
Jane
Breakaway Reviewers received a copy of the book to review.
November 12, 2018
This was a true story of the last year in the life of Nicola Therold, who died from Leukaemia. It was a deeply moving story of courage and dignity, following the diagnosis and pathway to the final day.
Displaying 1 - 24 of 24 reviews