Sparks Fly, Tires Skid: A Modern Pride and Prejudice Variation Romantic Comedy

by Ari Rhoge, A Lady

Two peas in a pod. Two sisters. Two best friends. A two-way intersection. Two dented vehicles. Two unfathomably angry opponents. Two complacent, mildly flirtatious sidekicks.

Join Lizzy Bennet and Will Darcy as they inadvertently develop a muddled and chaotic relationship after smashing their cars into each other one innocent morning.

With a host of characters from the original story adapted to fit modern times, readers of regency-era fiction will find comfort in this fan-favorite, emotion-packed yet lighthearted variation tale of mistaken first impressions, love, disappointment, overbearing mothers, pride, and, of course, prejudice.

Genres: Romance, Rom Com

305 pages, Kindle Edition

Published July 25, 2017

About the author

Ari Rhoge has been writing fan fiction for a long, long time. She loves spinning variations on classics such as Pride and Prejudice, Persuasion, Emma, and Northanger Abbey. Her favourite authors are Jane Austen (of course), Gillian Flynn, Adelle Waldman, and Nick Hornby.

She draws inspiration from everywhere — her favourite books and television shows, her wild family, her wee-hours gym escapades, and the goings-on in the coffee shops she loves to write in.

She would love to one day write a YA adventure story similar to The Hobbit — just on uppers.

Ari lives in Philadelphia with her large family and their German Shepherd. Her ideal life is living on an island, hanging out with Patrick Stewart and Ian McKellan.

Follow Ari for updates!

Reviews

[Les · Rating 4 out of 5]

Let me start right here and right now and say this isn't a book for everyone. If you didn't like Pride and Motherf*cking Prejudice https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/2... Then you WON'T LIKE THIS. The language is blue, adult, NC-17, swearing like a sailor, profanity laden. Not suitable for maiden ears, or maiden aunts or anyone under 21. There is also some steamy scenes, not too steamy but not for the kiddies [unless you are a kiddie who read 50 shades of grey- as my one friend's 14 year old did.]

This is a modern P&P what if set in the Philly metro area. (Squeeeeeee). Lizzy Bennet is a kindergarten teacher who can't seem to speak without cursing [Lizzy is my spirit animal]. She's angry, violent and quick to jump to conclusions. She meets Darcy when they have a car accident; and she isn't accepting responsibility for it. Luckily her sister Jane is there to pour oil on the water and flirt with Charlie Bingley, Darcy's bestie, client and wingman. Jane and Charlie hit it off and Charlie is going to be in the area for a while because he is the scion of the Bingley Hospitality chain and is opening a bed and breakfast / resort something.

Lizzy and Darcy keep fighting. And fighting and fighting. [It gets a bit tedious] Then she meets Greg Wickham. Who eventually gives her his version of Darcy done me wrong and she believes him; but he stands her up and their romance is over before it starts. Charlie dumps Jane and goes off to Zurich. And bunch more stuff happens Charlotte marries Bill, Aunt Catherine is his godmother. Lizzy and Darcy almost mess around at the reception then have a big fight (Hunsford redux)

Lizzy goes back to PA and mopes. A bunch more stuff happens ODC meet up when Lizzy accompanies Lydia to a club gig in NYC and its Georgiana's band. Lizzy gets invited to Pemberley (Bristol, CT) Lydia runs away. Darcy stays away. Eventually they get back together [sorta] and everybody gets a HEA [sorta]

Onto why this is only 4 stars. The Motherf*cking language got to me. I can curse; in multiple languages, but the trick to effective cursing is to know when to use it. This is too much, way too much. There are too many plots and subplots. The author had to shoehorn Charlotte's wedding to fit in Lady Catherine but it would have been easier to have Lady C be on the board of Bingley's hotels or something. The Lydia/ Greg thing. Lizzy going to Pemberley. Just too much going on. Time problems or I should say date problems Bingley opens his his business in late February, but someone says Bingley went to a Phillies game. I don't know how he flew down to Clearwater but there aren't any Phillies games in PA in February. Then there were other dates that seemed confusing.

While I was reading the book I thought I wanted to read the second book by the author but it is another version and I need a break.

[Sara · Rating 4 out of 5]

Laugh out loud crazy fun! Snarky Elizabeth strikes again!

If you love modern P&P and you love a super bitchy, snarky Elizabeth who is so flawed and foul mouthed but you love her anyway. This is the book for you!! Super fun!! Superb writing and fantastic angst and chemistry. The arguments between Elizabeth and Darcy are priceless. So are the snarky, sarcastic comedy provided mostly by Elizabeth. Similar plot to original with a few twists but done in a modern way. Very enjoyable read!! Caution: there is lots of bad language in this book. There are scenes of a mature nature but not graphic or lengthy.

[Anne · Rating 1 out of 5]

Ugh! I read the whole thing thanks to Kindle Unlimited.

I wish I had not wasted my time. Every character has a foul mouth! Says the f word many, many times. Also every four letter word you can think of.

[Sarah · Rating 4 out of 5]

People had been telling me for years to read this - it was even bookmarked - and I somehow never got around to it before it got pulled for publication. Which is a damn shame because I could have reread it a bunch of times since then. This was adorable. The rapid-fire banter is very Gilmore Girls-esque. I loved this modern take-no-shit Elizabeth, who has the archness and sweetness of her canon counterpart (ok, maybe a touch more with the archness). The Lydia/Wickham plot line lacked a bit of oomph and urgency for me and there were some issues with headhopping, but otherwise this was such a fun read. I read this on KU, but enjoyed it so much that I immediately went back to Amazon and bought it!

[Susanne · Rating 4 out of 5]

An intriguing modern retelling of Pride and Prejudice in which Elizabeth and Jane meet Darcy and Bingley when they get into a fender-bender. Darcy is Bingley's attorney as Bingley seeks to expand his family's hotel empire, while Elizabeth is a kindergarten teacher with a foul mouth and Jane is simply perfectly-perfect. It's a fun romp through Austen's original with lots of twists and turns along the way. Charlotte is Elizabeth's roommate and seeks to marry Bill Collins, a physical therapist who works for Catherine De Bourgh. This book is funny, too--Lizzy especially is a hoot in an endearingly strange sort of way, and we can see how straightlaced Darcy falls for her fun-loving spirit. It just keeps getting more and more intriguing as the story continues.

I first read this book on FanFiction.net (and yes, I used a fanfiction downloader to get my copy of this book; I'm making up for it by writing this review and publishing it on Goodreads and my blog, and thence to Facebook and Twitter), and I'm thrilled that the author has published it on Amazon where it's now available for purchase. This was my second reading of the tale, and I enjoyed it even better the second time. It's funny, poignant, depressing, and hilarious all by turns, and it really takes the reader on a rollercoaster ride of emotions. It's a great read, and I definitely recommend it!

[Xo · Rating 5 out of 5]

What a refreshing episode of JAFF. The characters are so unique, though not too detached from the original intentions Austen had for them. And the story - well let's just say I finished the book in a day, cos it played out so smoothly. And it was so random at times, but I loved it! Great effort by Ari Rhoge. Looking forward to her next.

[Juliana · Rating 2 out of 5]

This was OKAY. It was cute enough but it sort of lost me after a while. Darcy didn't quite feel like Darcy to me and Lizzie had a pretty foul mouth. I'm FINE with swearing but it just made everybody seem more aggressive and out of character for me. And honestly...Charles is stupid in every adaptation. If you're going to leave for MONTHS on end, don't have them get engaged so quickly after getting together. It's irritating. It's not realistic I didn't feel the urgency of the Wickham situation either. I've read better modern adaptations of Pride and Prejudice than this.

[Marina · Rating 5 out of 5]

Great modern AU:) i loved it when I read it as fanfiction, and loved it as a published book.

[Kai Raine · Rating 5 out of 5]

I read this back when it was still on fanfiction.net. I'm so delighted to see that the author has published it as a book! Even then, I was blown away by it.

Sparks Fly, Tires Skid is, very simply, a retelling of Pride and Prejudice set in the modern day. So yes, similar to the Lizzie Bennet Diaries, except in prose form. And while there were elements similar between the two, for the most part each made their own story independently of the other. But if one were to put all similar points side by side and choose to assume that they were borrowed from one to the other, in terms of publishing timelines, this one came first.

The title is not metaphorical. There is a car accident involved. In fact, this is how the story opens: Lizzy and Will Darcy, having crashed into each other, are arguing over whose fault it is whilst Jane and Charlie Bingley flirt nearby. This is, in fact, the author's summary:

"Elizabeth and Darcy meet at the scene of a car crash. They do not politely exchange insurance information."

Ari Rhoge is incredibly witty in her prose in general, and is capable of drawing you in with simple dialogue. Some may scoff and say that good dialogue is no skill; I would patently disagree. One of my biggest sorrows with modern literature is the sparsity of good dialogue. This is one of my favorite aspects of Austen: her dialogue is witty, engaging, and funny and touching in turn. Too much time gets spent in many books, I feel, occupying dialogue with "need-to-know" sort of information for the readers, or blatant, meaningless attempts at humor.

Rhoge, in blatant defiance of this policy where dialogue should have an explicit, plot-related purpose, keeps readers on their toes with constantly funny and clever exchanges. Furthermore, these exchanges aren't just limited to conversation between Lizzy and Darcy; Jane and Lizzy also have their moments, as do Charlotte and Lizzy. But when I say the dialogue doesn't have "an explicit plot-related purpose," I don't mean that it's pointless—not by a long shot. What the dialogue often serves to do is draw out the characters, make them real in the readers' minds. They show how they think, how they feel, their moods, all without having to go into their minds and explain.

The chemistry between Lizzy and Darcy is astonishing. It's there, right from the start, even as they make you smile and laugh with their antics and general animosity. And when they realize it for what it is, the world implodes just a little bit. There are ups and downs and facets to their lives not taken from the book that make them feel more realistic as modern characters.

For me, the defining point where I decided that Rhoge could do no wrong with this story was Lydia. Lydia is wild, childish, and occasionally irritating. But being elder sister to two lovely younger siblings myself, this felt to me like the most realistic portrayal I have ever seen of Lydia. Oh, I'm not talking of all the trouble she gets herself into, which—as in Austen's book—is almost unbelievable in its enormity and yet very much Wickham's fault (as well as Lydia's own lack of comprehension of the world and its workings). But the way that Lizzy and Lydia interact is, despite everything, loving and sisterly and something I wish we saw more often in Austen adaptations.

I'm not just talking about spin-offs like the P. D. James book I keep on mentioning that patently failed to impress me. I'm also talking about relatively good, direct adaptations, like the BBC mini-series and the films. In nearly every version, as much as I enjoy it, there is something that I feel is missing; and that something is a sense of family that encompasses more people than just Jane and Lizzy, and occasionally Mr. Bennet. The 2005 adaptation, I felt, came closest.

Certainly, one could argue, Austen herself doesn't write very explicitly about the love between members of the family, except in pairs: Jane and Lizzy, Lizzie and Mr. Bennet, Lydia and Kitty, Lydia and Mrs. Bennet. But the thing is, neither does Orchid, not explicitly. But, as is the case with Austen, you can feel that underneath all this chaos, they are really a family with affection for one another (except, perhaps, for Mrs. Bennet). And while Lydia in this adaptation gains a little more depth than her shallow, silly counterpart (though not to the extent of the Lizzie Bennet Diaries, which are taking the Wickham/Lydia angle down a whole new path), it was a very good choice that helped to give more color to the relationship between Lizzy and Lydia, and allows the reader to be a little more sympathetic towards the girl rather than simply annoyed.

This story is well-planned, well-written, well-executed, and generally everything a Jane Austen adaptation should (in my mind) be. There is wit. There is love. There is laughter, and sorrow too. It makes you laugh, and keeps you engaged throughout the story so that you start reading, blink, and find that it's 2A.M. and you've just read all the way through.

It is a truly wonderful piece that I'm giving 9/10.

[Aech · Rating 3 out of 5]

I had originally read the first chapter on a fanfiction site and was intrigued enough to purchase the book. The banter was good and I found myself chuckling a few times. I wasn't too bothered by all the swearing, but found it unbelievable that a kindergarten teacher (Lizzy) would swear that much. [I swear as much or more than Lizzy and I find that I try to avoid kids because the swearing inadvertently slips out. Can't believe she'd be able to control her swearing around kids enough to be a kindergarten teacher.]

My biggest problem, though, was the main character herself. Yes, Lizzy is supposed to be outspoken and opinionated, but she is not obnoxious and annoying. Many times while reading I found myself wondering why she still had friends.

[Lisa E · Rating 3 out of 5]

Do not care for all the curse words

Why is it no one in the book ever asks why a kindergarten teacher has such foul language? For some reason, this one kept my interest better than Eat Sand. Do not care for modernized versions of the story, though. Perhaps if the language were not so foul, but I guess that definitely pulls one out of the 19th century. I see the traditional elements of the story remain: the letter, Wickham and Georgianna and Lydia, Aunt Catherine's confrontation. Somehow doesn't bother me as much in the modernized version as in the 19th C remakes.

[RTD · Rating 3 out of 5]

A Good Read

I liked the story and found it entertaining. I'm 50/50 on Lizzy. At times, I found her funny; other times, I considered her rude and quick to spin a tale. I am glad for the HEA, but I could also see Lizzy's personality becoming exhausting after a while.

I loved Jane's response when she finally saw Bingley again.

[Deb Hughes · Rating 5 out of 5]

Great modern day variation

Maybe a little less cuss words but a really fun story to complete. Now that Lizzy has finally agreed with Darcy to marry...we need a continuation of the story with another book!

[Aakansha Raj · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was a fun read.

I loved the Darcy-Lizzy banter, even if I did feel like Elizabeth was a little bit confused throughout the book, and Darcy a tad too mature.

I'd certainly recommend this book to anyone who avidly enjoys reading P&P fanfiction.

[Heaven Kuhl · Rating 4 out of 5]

Short and Sweet

Fun read for anyone who likes this couple, but had strange dialog at times. I recommend it to anyone who wants a light casual read

[Cassie Arsenault]

Fantastic

I love this book. Not much else to say really. There's just something within the writing that stands out to me and is really entertaining and adorable.

[Blaire · Rating 2 out of 5]

Sparks fly, tires skid fast,
wit collides with quiet hearts—
We’ve both grown, apart.