The World of Football According to Athletico Mince

by Bob Mortimer, Andy Dawson

For the first book inspired by their wildly popular podcast, Bob Mortimer and Andy Dawson considered producing an authoritative guide to the past, present and future world of football. But, as in the podcast, they got a bit side-tracked - as well as bringing you some (more or less) completely genuine football facts, Bob and Andy speculate about the lifestyle of baked bean-loving, yellow snake-owning ex-England boss Steve McClaren, and investigate the 'Gangs of the EPL', where football meets infantile bullying.

There's also input from the Secret Soccer Superstar - a former player who lifts the lid on what it's really like to be a top, top pro - and the lyrics from some of Bob's most memorable Scottish songs, so that you can sing them to your children, elderly relatives or, indeed, yourself, should you need to be soothed after learning about Robson Green's Extreme Bangers.

In summary, it's a bit of a mess - but - it's a beautiful, glorious, hilarious mess... and if you're not reduced to at least one convulsion while reading it, Bob and Andy are going to be very disappointed with you. In fact, they might come round to your house and force you to KISS THE ALDERMAN.

'If you like football but despair of its endless, humourless self- importance, you'll love this.' THE GUARDIAN

The secret behind Sunderland's recent run of good form has been Howard Wilkinson's unique pre-match team talks, according to an insider. 'They take the form of riddles' says an unnamed player. 'For instance, before our recent hard-fought draw at Anfield, he simply stood up and said "I am fowl but not a bird, I am loud but seldom heard, I am rich but have no clothes, I am stooped but am not old. What am I?"' 'You could have heard a pin drop. After that we just had to get out on the pitch and defend for our lives for ninety minutes.'

Genres: Football, Humor

238 pages, Kindle Edition

First published April 1, 2017

About the author

Robert Renwick Mortimer is an English comedian, podcast presenter and actor. He is known for his work with Vic Reeves as part of their Vic and Bob comedy double act, and more recently the Mortimer & Whitehouse: Gone Fishing series with comedian Paul Whitehouse. [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bob_Mor...]

Reviews

[Michael Cook · Rating 2 out of 5]

Its bits from the podcast written down. If you have listened before listen again. If you are yet to listen - download it now ya spooky fookin' doyle

[Euan Kerr · Rating 3 out of 5]

Some very funny, some a load of tosh!

Started very promisingly with several laugh-out-loud moments (so don't read it at a funeral). Became increasingly bizarre. Stuck with it, but quite glad it's over.

[Mark Nutter · Rating 4 out of 5]

Surreal and very funny. Many references to UK football may be lost to you if you're not a sports fan. But Bob Mortimer's wonderfully absurd sense of humor shines through.

[Bob Makin · Rating 4 out of 5]

Great fun

[David Besser · Rating 4 out of 5]

Hilariously laugh out loud funny in part

[Gareth Brown · Rating 3 out of 5]

Laugh out loud funny at times - but definitely the most surreal book I've ever read!!

[Liam McFarlane · Rating 3 out of 5]

A mix of football humour and utter nonsense. Nice easy read.

[Will Shaw · Rating 3 out of 5]

Bob Mortimer is a national treasure and I can’t think of anyone I’d like to spend a night with down the pub more than him. Obviously reading all the mince stuff yourself isn’t as good as listening to the guys do it in the episodes, but it’s still great. Loved the Steve and Casper story and there’s some great stuff from The White Hearts

[BrianG · Rating 2 out of 5]

Disappointingly tod, whereas the podcast itself is comedy genius.

[Ben Baker · Rating 4 out of 5]

Considering Im not a regular listener to the podcast this book probably gave me a laugh a page. Three cheers for Casper!