When Your Mother Doesn't: A Novel

by Jill Kelly

Nearly three decades of secrets lie between Lola Ashby and the two daughters she reluctantly raised. So when the eldest, Frankie, agrees to visit her ailing mother, who abandoned the girls when they were in high school, Frankie doesn’t hold out much hope for a meaningful connection. But when her younger sister Callie announces that she’s moving to Los Angeles from the East Coast, Frankie badgers her sister into meeting up for an ill-formed family reunion—and to dilute any awkwardness with Lola. It’s a recipe for disaster the sisters know all too well. With Lola doing everything she can to keep them at arm’s length, any hope for reconciliation may just shrivel up and blow away—unless they can find a way to forgive themselves, and one another. Told from the perspectives of three different women—each facing her own hope and hardship—this tender, compelling narrative explores the kind of people we become when those who should love us most let us down, and what, if anything, we can do to heal the wounds of the past.

Genres: Fiction, Chick Lit

408 pages, Paperback

First published April 7, 2015

About the author

I am a child of the Pacific Northwest, born in a tiny village up the Columbia Gorge in a snowstorm. I grew up in and around Portland, Oregon, then lived for a number of years in California, Texas, Virginia, Pennsylvania, and France before settling into Portland again about 15 years ago.

For two decades I was a college professor of French, English as a Second Language, and writing. When I moved west, I reinvented my life, becoming a freelance editor and writer. Eventually I also developed myself into a visual artist (pastels) and an author (memoir, fiction). For some examples, visit my website.

Sober Truths was written over a 7-year period. I wanted to understand the patterns of my past and the various threads of my present. I wrote over 50 stories and included a bit fewer than half. Memoir can be tricky business as memories are unreliable. In the end, all we can do is tell about our own remembrances, our own realities. I hope you enjoy reading the book!

Reviews

[Diana Nagy · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was a great book. I sped right through it because I couldn't wait to see what happened next. I absolutely loved that it not only told of Frankie's exploits, but also of her sister Callie's, and her mother Lola's. It was sad and loving in various aspects and very true to reality in so many more. It's definitely a book I would share with others and encourage them to read, no matter what their background.

[Ruta Alb · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is a very sad story of a very disfunctional family. It seems that audible made recommendation according to my previous listen (The Moon Sisters) as this book is also mainly about the life of two sisters. The interesting part of the book is how it is told from start to finish from one sister's perspective, then (again start to finish) from another's and then from their mother's perspective. Each narration reveals more details to the full picture.
This book is a perfect example of how people get angry with other people just because they don't know all the truth. These people evaluate the situation only according to their own feelings..
Three words about the book
Importance of big picture

[Cassidy Crowe · Rating 3 out of 5]

I had much higher hopes for the ending. This was brutally real in so many ways, very sad and heart breaking. But, I really loved this book and seeing all the sides of the womens lives. I just really wish the ending didn’t seem so rushed or open. I was so surprised when it ended because it felt like there were at least a couple more chapters in it. I wanted to know what happened with the boy and Frankie, what Callie decided to do with her life, what happens to Lola. I was invested in these characters only to be left in the dark in the end!

[Annette · Rating 3 out of 5]

This novel was well-written, but the characters had many flaws. The story was descriptive and forthright, but it ended abruptly and many questions were not answered.

Three generations of women, two who weren't capable of loving or preparing their daughters to make good choices & finding happiness. In the last generation, Frankie and Callie, in their teenage years, were abandoned by their mother only to reunite with her after twenty-some years.

Callie moved out of their home and succumbed to a life of unhappiness and some modeling success. She couldn't find love but was continuously disappointed by one lover after another.
Frankie struggled to make ends meet by taking on menial jobs and working to help people in need.

Driving to visit her sick mom, Frankie encounters a young boy that has been abandoned by his grandmom. He provides her with an envelope that contains the address of his mother. Frankie was compelled to take him with her. Their road trip has many stops, but finally, he is reunited with his mother who doesn't want him.
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[Elizabeth · Rating 5 out of 5]

Honestly, I loved this novel. It was so well-written with an interesting, unusual plot line. There was some serious, some-what controversial topics that arose through the life stories and there were definitely moments when I had to set it down and come back to it later. However, Franky's story was so compelling and the "mystery" of why their mother made the decisions she did easily kept me intrigued and interested in the novel. I wish this author had more fiction to read!

[Kim Cataldo · Rating 4 out of 5]

I truly enjoyed this story, it brought up some very strong feelings about my childhood. It is very well written and I would definitely recommend it.

[Serena · Rating 2 out of 5]

kind of interesting, none of the characters were very likeable or compelling, ending was disappointing

[Elizabeth Hatfield · Rating 3 out of 5]

While I did like this book, the ending is…well there isn’t a definitive ending. There really wasn’t any conclusion to any of the main characters and their relationships. Depending on how you feel after reading it, you could choose your own future for them I guess. However, knowing their histories, I can’t help but think the paths they have walked they’ll continue down.

[Kristeen Hughes · Rating 4 out of 5]

Round up to 4.5 stars.

[Kristy Brakenridge · Rating 4 out of 5]

The domino effect of abandonment. Raw, heartbreaking, at times hard to read. Loved the authenticity of this storyline, could very well be a true story.

[Katie · Rating 1 out of 5]

Here’s the thing I don’t know if the story is actually one star, but the narration on audible was so monotone and boring that I feel like I slept through half this book. I would compare the narration to watching paint dry. There was just no emotion in her voice whatsoever

[Heather · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book starts off bonkers and never loses steam. The story is fantastical in parts (the kid?! the mafia?!) but perfectly conveys the adulthood a traumatic childhood can produce. Lola is ready for all the punches which is admirable and heartbreaking. I LOVED how no resolution comes from all the actions Lola takes to try to get a grip on how the hell she got here. It’s ultimately up to her to make peace with her sister, her mother and herself. Heavy themes but a heroine worth rooting for.

[Jeanette Clark · Rating 5 out of 5]

Truth in fiction

This is the best novel I’ve read in quite a while! It may be fiction, but is certainly taken from real life. The characters are so real you can almost see them. You see a little past that “tip of the iceberg” that we are used to seeing. This is the first of Jill Kelly’s books that I’ve read, but you can bet it won’t be the last.

[Donna · Rating 3 out of 5]

The story was okay None of the characters were likeable or relatable. I listened to it on Audible thinking that it would be good since it was narrated by the author. She should stick to writing and let someone else narrate!

[Patty Dow · Rating 5 out of 5]

terrible ending

I couldn’t put this book down! The kind of book you think about during the day. THE END was awful! I actually yelled and scared my husband! Why would the Author not finish the story line?

[Marion Ziegler · Rating 5 out of 5]

Not always what you think.

I liked the way Jill took the time to explain each character in depth and how they got to be who they are were

[Carol · Rating 4 out of 5]

I really enjoyed this story about 2 sisters who had an extremely neglectful mother. The 2 sisters were as different in personality as it is possible to be. We learn early they have different fathers. The older sister doesn't know who her father is. What is so interesting about this book is that first the story deals only with Frankie's story (the older daughter). Her mother simply cannot love her - at least that seems evident to Frankie. From an early age Frankie is the person who runs the household; her mother is usually drunk and incapable, or not even home.
Next we suddenly jump to Callie's story and we learn her point of view.
Finally, we begin learning Lola's story. How did she become a bad mother? Why does she not love Frankie?
It was a riveting story that took a few pages to get into, but was well-written and once the story begins to unfold it is suspenseful and definitely worth your time to read.

[Chianti · Rating 2 out of 5]

Just because you write it does NOT mean you should narrate it.
The author narrates this book… SHE SHOULD NOT. If you’re not on your feet in motion, the slow monotoned narration will put you to sleep… especially Lola’s parts. Not because the tone or inflection changes… but the already SLOW pace slows even more. I don’t recommend listening to this book while you drive… especially at night.

Aside from the narration, this book is just unfinished. NO closure. Zero. No closed doors. None. Not even an epilogue.

This is a book about hurt women. Hurt women,=hurt mothers=hurt daughters…. Etc.hurt people hurt people.
There’s all this hurt at the end… and the book just ends.
I get not all books get a happy ending…. But they should at least get an ending.
I’ve looked for a sequel… I don’t see that one exists.
Please note… A sequel would change my rating change my rating… to 3.5-4.

[Lexi · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was an incredible read. You don’t necessarily get the resolution that you are hoping will come, but it does discuss the intricacies of female interaction. It touches on the three incredibly different lives of related women, and honestly, they are not related in any way that I thought they would be. I’m not sure that Callie and Frankie will ever get the conclusion that they need from their mother, I am not sure that Lola is even able to give this. Her peace offering at the end of the book is probably all that she has in her. I would definitely read this off author again. This was not necessarily a feel good book, but it did force you to think through why the people are the way they are, and how life experience can influence outcome, not only for you, but for your children.

[Jackie Hinnen · Rating 4 out of 5]

I have mixed feelings about When Your Mother Doesn’t. Firstly, it wasn’t quite what I expected it to be from the description ( although the description does fit the book). When Your Mother Doesn’t reads a lot like a memoir. The book seems a bit disoriented somehow, disconnected and possibly aimless. I have to think that the writer did this on purpose, playing into the experiences and traumas that each of the characters navigate. Overall, the book is well done but I did find myself feeling as if it were a little long.
I read a few reviews regarding the narration of this story on Audible. I’d like to note that the narration is actually done by the writer herself.

[Natalie (Nikki) Epperson · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book is about a mother who wasn’t the best role model, and the two girls she has had dealt with the consequences of their moms actions throughout their lifetime. Their mother left them at a young age and they didn’t really have a mother figure during their teenage years. The book uses multiperspectivity so you see each characters point of view. I would give this book 5 stars, but I’m knocking 1 star off because i personally felt that the book was just dragging along until I was about 85% done with the book.

[Miranda · Rating 3 out of 5]

I’m not sure what to say about this book. It’s the stories of three women thrown together through mistakes and accidents. Mothers and daughters.
A trio of broken women who scrape through life and break others along the way. All in hopes of finding true love and filling a hole none of them seem to be able to truly acknowledge or accept. It’s not a happy story and holds little hope but for the fact that each of them keep on keepin on despite their chaos, pain and brokenness. And maybe that’s enough.

[Autumn Ridenour · Rating 3 out of 5]

A dark story about a dysfunctional family of very real, very flawed women.  The author doesn't hesitate to discuss some pretty intense themes such as abandonment, generational trauma, familial bonds (or lack thereof), morals, prostitution... It was a four star book until the abrupt ending, which felt rushed with no closure and zero resolutions, leaving many unanswered questions about the woman whose lives we saw unfold over decades.  In my opinion, a couple more chapters would've been great to wrap up some loose ends.

[Judy Churchill · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is a well written book that speaks some difficult truths. What if your mother can't love you? What if she leaves you before you are grown up? The reality of how these truths impact who you become and how you live your life is hard to hear. The story of Lola, running from her own mother's inability to love her, and her two daughters will rip your heart in two. I found the book to be authentic but I carried the sadness it engendered for some time.

[Vicki Jones · Rating 3 out of 5]

I thought this was a well written book and a good , well thought out story. I listened to the audio book and I would advise reading the hard copy of you can. I think I would have enjoyed it better. The author, who read the book , voice is too monotone. The characters voices needed more inflection, more emotion.

[Sophie · Rating 4 out of 5]

I downloaded this book thinking it was probably going to be a stinker, but I’d give it a try. Was very pleasantly surprised to become absorbed by it, and eager to go back and read more of it.
Usually books with unlikeable characters I don’t enjoy reading, but somehow it didn’t bother me in this one. And I did like Frankie, despite the many bad choices she made.

[Patty · Rating 4 out of 5]

Story of mother, Lola, who abandoned her teenage daughters, Frankie (older, studious, traditional), & Callie (wild & beautiful red head).

Story moves around a lot both in time and on which woman is the focus, which was a bit confusing, but it’s well-written with good characters and helps you understand the effect of abandonment by parents.

[Heidi Thompson · Rating 4 out of 5]

Abrupt ending

Although this book ended abruptly which I find disappointing in a book I still gave it 4 stars because the story did intrigue me throughout. However it bounced around a lot describing the characters and their history in this story. This is the first book I've read from this author not sure I'll read more.

[Faith Stephens · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wow. I was so enamored with this story about how both girls livesform from their mother in good and bad ways.
Jill Kelly takes a character who you want to hate and doesn't have any redeeming qualities at all, in the mother, and gives you a way to have compassion for her.
This feels like the story of so many women in a generation where it was even harder to be a woman.

[Ally · Rating 2 out of 5]

This book was honestly a bit triggering for me so I may be biased. I had a hard time keeping up with any real story as it jumped years and was in three POV’s. It felt like every time I’d really get into one of their stories it would end and restart at the beginning for the next POV. Was it a terrible book? No. It just isn’t an easy read if you have any type of parental wound.