What do you think?
Rate this book
The Way of Letting Go: One Woman's Walk toward Forgiveness
Maybe it was the sting of remarks from a relative or friend. Maybe a miscarriage ended your hopes for a family. For all of your heartbreaks, maybe you wished there was someone to help you through. For Wilma Derksen, letting go of the 15 misconceptions about grief led her back to hope. In this book she tells how you can do the same.
Wilma’s world collapsed when her teenage daughter, Candace, was taken hostage and murdered. Wilma now shares her choices to “let go” of heartbreak, which gave her the courage to navigate through the dark waters of sorrow. Like Wilma, maybe your heartbreak forced you to retreat from happy expectations, of believing that life is fair, of finding closure for every circumstance. She encourages let go of the happy ending, let go of perfect justice, let go of fear, and let go of closure. Wilma's wisdom will help you overcome your broken heart, and her advice will enable you to break free of pain to live a life of true joy.
Wilma’s world collapsed when her teenage daughter, Candace, was taken hostage and murdered. Wilma now shares her choices to “let go” of heartbreak, which gave her the courage to navigate through the dark waters of sorrow. Like Wilma, maybe your heartbreak forced you to retreat from happy expectations, of believing that life is fair, of finding closure for every circumstance. She encourages let go of the happy ending, let go of perfect justice, let go of fear, and let go of closure. Wilma's wisdom will help you overcome your broken heart, and her advice will enable you to break free of pain to live a life of true joy.
- GenresBiography
240 pages, Kindle Edition
Published February 21, 2017
19 people are currently reading
55 people want to read
Ratings & Reviews
Friends & Following
Create a free account to discover what your friends think of this book!
Community Reviews
Displaying 1 - 8 of 8 reviews
August 21, 2025
She put what I needed to forgive into perspective, making it feel much smaller. I appreciated the different points of view in this story, her authentic experiences, and her ability to connect with and truly listen to others. It was not at all what I expected, but I am grateful I heard the information, and I know parts of it will stay with me.
June 23, 2023
Before my retirement in 2012; I worked in Victim Services. At a Restorative Justice Symposium, I had the privilege to personally hear Wilma Derksen speak. When I came across her book, the titled intrigued me, as did the caption on the back cover: Your Guide Through The Complicated Journey To Forgiveness.
The book was released 22 years after the murder of her daughter. The 15 principles of letting go didn't happen overnight.
Forgiveness is a choice and Wilma Derksen is living proof that letting go is not easy but possible. Readers will come to understand that freedom comes through forgiveness. I love how she acknowledges Jesus as the One who preached forgiveness, taught forgiveness, lived forgiveness, and ultimately died for the cause. Great nuggets of wisdom are found in the 15 letting go principles shared in this book.
God helped her let of what was holding her back from moving on after the death of Candice. As I read through this book, I was filled with awe in how God works in the lives of willing individuals. Also how comforting to find Jesus throughout the pages of this book, a very present help in times of trouble.
A quote was provided for each principle, with words aptly spoken! Each letting go principle enabled me to examine my own life. I need to ask myself, Is there something in this principle that applies to me? Some I would never have considered until reading this book. Forgiveness is the common thread woven throughout each chapter. This book touched me in ways I least expected. I have a greater appreciation for what families like the Derksen's and others go through after the murder of a loved one.
The Never-Ending Process, Stage One will help those whom struggle to forgive, and sometimes want to get it over quickly. Letting go may not be easy. Nor a one-time decision, rather a long process. Wilma had years to learn how to forgive. Now she's a sought-after speaker on the subject. Another opportunity to share Candice's story, and help others move forward in their lives.
The Never-Ending Progress, Stage Two takes readers further along into the court proceedings. Years after the crime, the Derksen's hear the heart-wrenching details of what Candice endured after being taken to the abandoned shed. Forgiveness is heavy work, that it is a never-ending process. Our own lives attest to these statements. We choose, whether or not to forgive, and the length of time it takes to do so.
The Unexpected Grove of Trees speaks of times when people are angry at God for not getting an answer to prayer. To have the thought that God actually tricked them. Readers are taken back to the Bible for a look at the Tree of Good and Evil. Great insight is given on why God placed a majestic tree in the middle of the Garden of Eden. A reminder, too, that Satan is the ultimate trickster in our lives.
Wilma Derksen ends her book with, What Is Forgiveness? She believes we need to define forgiveness for ourselves, and provides several personal definitions. And that forgiving others should be part of our character. Forgiveness is included in all major religions, which speaks for itself.
For further reading on forgiveness; the reader is given an extensive list of book titles to choose from.
I recommend this book to anyone needing to know the way to let go, and how to walk towards forgiveness themselves.
The book was released 22 years after the murder of her daughter. The 15 principles of letting go didn't happen overnight.
Forgiveness is a choice and Wilma Derksen is living proof that letting go is not easy but possible. Readers will come to understand that freedom comes through forgiveness. I love how she acknowledges Jesus as the One who preached forgiveness, taught forgiveness, lived forgiveness, and ultimately died for the cause. Great nuggets of wisdom are found in the 15 letting go principles shared in this book.
God helped her let of what was holding her back from moving on after the death of Candice. As I read through this book, I was filled with awe in how God works in the lives of willing individuals. Also how comforting to find Jesus throughout the pages of this book, a very present help in times of trouble.
A quote was provided for each principle, with words aptly spoken! Each letting go principle enabled me to examine my own life. I need to ask myself, Is there something in this principle that applies to me? Some I would never have considered until reading this book. Forgiveness is the common thread woven throughout each chapter. This book touched me in ways I least expected. I have a greater appreciation for what families like the Derksen's and others go through after the murder of a loved one.
The Never-Ending Process, Stage One will help those whom struggle to forgive, and sometimes want to get it over quickly. Letting go may not be easy. Nor a one-time decision, rather a long process. Wilma had years to learn how to forgive. Now she's a sought-after speaker on the subject. Another opportunity to share Candice's story, and help others move forward in their lives.
The Never-Ending Progress, Stage Two takes readers further along into the court proceedings. Years after the crime, the Derksen's hear the heart-wrenching details of what Candice endured after being taken to the abandoned shed. Forgiveness is heavy work, that it is a never-ending process. Our own lives attest to these statements. We choose, whether or not to forgive, and the length of time it takes to do so.
The Unexpected Grove of Trees speaks of times when people are angry at God for not getting an answer to prayer. To have the thought that God actually tricked them. Readers are taken back to the Bible for a look at the Tree of Good and Evil. Great insight is given on why God placed a majestic tree in the middle of the Garden of Eden. A reminder, too, that Satan is the ultimate trickster in our lives.
Wilma Derksen ends her book with, What Is Forgiveness? She believes we need to define forgiveness for ourselves, and provides several personal definitions. And that forgiving others should be part of our character. Forgiveness is included in all major religions, which speaks for itself.
For further reading on forgiveness; the reader is given an extensive list of book titles to choose from.
I recommend this book to anyone needing to know the way to let go, and how to walk towards forgiveness themselves.
December 15, 2020
Amazing story of forgiveness
This book will make you cry and make you smile. Knowing in the end what man meant as evil God can make good. If you need a different perspective on forgiveness you need to read this book. I didn't realize some of the hurts I still carried around until I started relating to some of the things she talks about.
This book will make you cry and make you smile. Knowing in the end what man meant as evil God can make good. If you need a different perspective on forgiveness you need to read this book. I didn't realize some of the hurts I still carried around until I started relating to some of the things she talks about.
June 28, 2021
I don't know what is more amazing the grace that Wilma Derksen shows well telling her story, or the lesson I am learning about what it really means to let go of the emotional battle after experiencing a tramactic event. One great take away for me is that letting go is a process that takes as much time as it takes, and every person's journey is different. I recommend everyone to read this book.
September 6, 2022
This is a book not only about Wilma Derksen and her husband choose to forgive the man who murdered their daughter but about the many steps to reach that point and the fact that every change in circumstances lead back to forgiving again. Decades later they are still waiting for a final verdict but they feel free to live live in spite of what happened.
December 28, 2022
Very good writing, religiosity was heavy-handed.
September 2, 2019
Worth reading
Offers a great insight into forgiving and letting go. I would have liked a bit more insight into how siblings coped.
Offers a great insight into forgiving and letting go. I would have liked a bit more insight into how siblings coped.
April 20, 2018
The abduction of their 13-year-old daughter in November off 1984 shunted Winnipeg residents Cliff and Wilma Derksen onto an unfamiliar and horror-strewn track. The discovery of her body seven months later, bound and frozen, provided closure on one level. She had been murdered. She was never coming home. But that day opened a Pandora’s box of feelings, reactions, learnings, and conclusions about how to deal with the unthinkable crime of the murder of their child. Early on, the Derksens declared their decision to forgive.
In The Way of Letting Go, published in 2017, 32 years after the crime, Wilma Derksen describes what forgiveness has entailed for her. Drawing inspiration from “the Nazarene” and the Sermon on the Mount she tells (in chapters titled, for example: “Letting Go of the Happy Ending,” “Letting Go of Fear,” “Letting Go of my Ego” etc.) incidents that triggered realizations of what she was hanging onto and needed to release. She also analyzes the spiritual and practical implications of these relinquishments.
The triggering incidents she tells help us to put together the Derksen’s story in a puzzle piece way. We also get glimpses of what it was like to be in the spotlight of the victim and involved with the police and justice system of Canada.
The Way of Letting Go not only tells a riveting story but also challenges us to consider (when we’ve been wronged) the difficult, complicated, repetitious (“Seventy times seven”) response of forgiveness. Highly recommended.
This book is part of my own Kindle collection.
In The Way of Letting Go, published in 2017, 32 years after the crime, Wilma Derksen describes what forgiveness has entailed for her. Drawing inspiration from “the Nazarene” and the Sermon on the Mount she tells (in chapters titled, for example: “Letting Go of the Happy Ending,” “Letting Go of Fear,” “Letting Go of my Ego” etc.) incidents that triggered realizations of what she was hanging onto and needed to release. She also analyzes the spiritual and practical implications of these relinquishments.
The triggering incidents she tells help us to put together the Derksen’s story in a puzzle piece way. We also get glimpses of what it was like to be in the spotlight of the victim and involved with the police and justice system of Canada.
The Way of Letting Go not only tells a riveting story but also challenges us to consider (when we’ve been wronged) the difficult, complicated, repetitious (“Seventy times seven”) response of forgiveness. Highly recommended.
This book is part of my own Kindle collection.
Displaying 1 - 8 of 8 reviews