Letters to a Romantic: On Dating

Letters to a Romantic

by Sean Perron, Spencer Harmon

Whether or not you're currently dating someone, if you're a young person thinking about romance, you probably have a lot of questions. Who should you date? How do you turn down an unwanted date, navigate a first date, or break up with someone? Is kissing OK? Is marriage really for you?

The Bible is sufficient to help you to think through the concerns of singleness and dating, and it has crucial things to say about the thoughts, attitudes, actions, and situations that commonly arise in this exciting stage of life. In friendly, practical letters, Sean and Spencer (and sometimes their wives, Jenny and Taylor) explore God's Word for answers on singleness, the start of a relationship, and tough dating situations, from breakups to broken boundaries. Their biblical insights will help you to make informed decisions on the road ahead.

Genres: Christian, Relationships, Nonfiction, Christian Non Fiction

144 pages, Paperback

Published September 29, 2017

About the author

Sean Perron (MDiv, The Southern Baptist Theological Seminary) is the associate pastor at First Baptist in Jacksonville, Florida. He is a certified biblical counselor and previously was director of operations at the Association of Certified Biblical Counselors (ACBC). He and his wife, Jennifer, have one son.

Reviews

[Haley Annabelle · Rating 5 out of 5]

Great book that covers a variety of topics from singleness to how do you know when you’re ready for marriage. I would highly recommend this to anyone who is preparing from a relationship or currently in one.
Like other reviewers pointed out, I really appreciated their chapter on Guarding your Heart and how they focused on the issue of worship. Also, the chapter one saving your first kiss for marriage had some amazing biblical proof.

[Michael Chen · Rating 4 out of 5]

Short, simple chapters, filled with gentle, practical wisdom.

I especially appreciated the chapter on "guarding your heart." Well-intentioned Christians have taken "guard your heart" to mean "guard your feelings from heartbreak, be cautious with emotions, and don't let anyone near you."

But the book gently points out that biblically, "guarding your heart really means guarding your worship...If we guard our hearts out of a motivation for self-protection, suspicion, or pride, we miss the point entirely...Heart guarding is marked by worship of our great God and by self-forgetful love of others. Heart guarding is not an overly suspicious view of people or yourself that is constantly wringing its hands and wondering if it has given too much of itself away. Guarding your heart is about normal Christian living, not about obsessing over your romantic relationship."

[Abigail · Rating 2 out of 5]

I thought this book was going to be so good! The beginning half was insightful and quite an interesting read, then later on it didn't apply to me and sometimes I disagreed with certain points. I think it would be a good book for someone currently in a relationship (good or bad).

[Reagan Young · Rating 5 out of 5]

Good stuff. Practical and packed with scripture. Got this book when I graduated high school from our church and have just now gotten around to reading it.

“We are also convinced that people are happiest when they seek to bring Jesus glory and that they were created to experience the joy of living for the majesty of God.”

Amen!!

[Amy Esslinger · Rating 5 out of 5]

“The happiest people in life are not marked by either singleness or marriage but by seizing each season for the glory of God.”

Though I read this as a single, there were many truths that were helpful and practical for me in my own season. I think this is also a great resource to read in preparation for a relationship.

[Danette · Rating 4 out of 5]

There are some good things to discuss in this book if you are dating or about to. I wish I could have read it back in the day.

2018 - A book published by P&R Publishing

[Chalice · Rating 4 out of 5]

Admittedly, I read these out or order, but this one is very good! Once again, grounded in Biblical truths—I found it very encouraging and uplifting, as it pointed back to honoring and glorifying God in everything.

[Eden · Rating 4 out of 5]

I read Letters of a Romantic on dating after I read the one they are also releasing on engagement. I found the book full of love and wisdom. Again, I felt like I was a valuable friend receiving these letters as I read them. They are written with love and providing so much information, from if we should date to the break up pain and progression. Great read!

[Emily · Rating 5 out of 5]

Accessible, biblical, and practical! This book is a reflection of the ministries and lives of these faithful shepherds - deeply committed to the Word and seeking to help others live joyful, God-honoring lives in every area, including dating! Years ago two of these sweet friends walked with me through some of these very things. I’m thankful that others can be helped as the Lord works through them.

[Matt Smart · Rating 2 out of 5]

Really disappointed in this book... it was basically a bunch of opinions wrapped in proof texts, which even those where characterized by shoddy exegesis. Had some good advice, but nothing more nuanced than what I could find in a quick google search through the blogosphere.

[Ronald J. Pauleus · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wise counsel and biblical guidance is given in this nice and short book.

[Peyton McGuire · Rating 4 out of 5]

easy & quick read but full of rich truth! only gave it 4 stars because one of the chapters was much more subjective than the others. otherwise the theology was strong, it was well-written, & overall encouraging.

[Ko Matsuo · Rating 5 out of 5]

My daughter and I read this book together.

I liked this book for several reasons. It addresses difficult topics in a concise short letter format. This makes it easy to read (5 hours or so for the entire book), as well as accessible to many. The authors also make some really good points especially with respect to contentment and understanding character issues.

The biggest flaw is that it was written by two men and as a result there is a somewhat of a man bias. I thought the positives make it worth the read.

[Sage Gregson · Rating 3 out of 5]

Sean and Spencer qualify themselves at the beginning of the book. They step away from calling themselves “relational gurus” and humbly provide wise advice, not hard and fast rules. I’m thankful for their humility and their prayerful mindset. I think they provide a compact, fast-track guide to the Baptist perspective on modern dating.

I especially appreciate their ideas about what to look for in a Christian spouse. They also provide a straightforward approach to breaking up, sinning sexually and saying “no” when you don’t want to go on a date. These were very helpful chapters. Sean and Spencer are quick to apply grace when needed and point to the local church as a good resource. They emphasize hard truth in one hand, soft grace in the other, and bring both hands together in Jesus Christ.

I don’t know if I agree on waiting until marriage to kiss, but they had a good attitude when they were challenged about it :)

[Cassi · Rating 4 out of 5]

I serve in Young Adults Ministry, and dating is a common topic of conversation. In the form of short letters, this book addresses some common questions Christians have about dating. The authors lean on the principles of God’s Word while applying practical, Bible-rooted wisdom to areas the Bible does not address explicitly. I appreciated these chapters in particular:
* Preparing for Romance (evaluating fear vs. faith, man’s world vs. God’s Word, and comparison vs. contentment)
* Sorrow and Joy in Singleness (“You can be sorrowful and joyful at the same time, but you cannot grumble and rejoice at the same time”)
* Breaking Up (doing so with clarity and charity)
* Should I Guard My Heart? (and how to define this idea biblically)
* Expressing Your Love (thinking rightly about boundaries and patterns)

[Shannon Whitehead · Rating 3 out of 5]

"Letters to a Romantic: On Dating" contains good, practical advice for Christians in the dating stage. While it's not a book I would normally choose for myself, even as a single woman in her 20's who is likely part of the target audience for it, I still found some of the bite-size wisdom to be helpful. I believe many Christians who read this book would agree with me as they embark on a complex dating journey and seek to honor God in it.

*This review is based on a free digital copy provided by the publisher for the purpose of creating this review. The opinions expressed are my own.

[B · Rating 5 out of 5]

The goal of this book is not to “argue a particular dating method or give a play-by-play of ‘courtship.’ Instead, our goal is to demonstrate how the Bible gives meaningful and practical advice when it comes to pursuing romance.” And that they did. While this book is geared to those who are dating or have dating in mind, it really reflects the truth that is the Gospel for any stage of a relationship. I am encouraged by Spencer and Shaun’s love for the Church and, more importantly, their love for Christ.

[Zachary · Rating 5 out of 5]

The book "Letters to a Romantic" is a breath of fresh air in a world dominated by a secular view of dating (that at times, influences Christian thought). The format of different letters addressing different topics is helpful because it allows the reader to pick and choose what they need guidance on (although I would recommend reading the whole book cover-to-cover)! Whether you are single, in a dating relationship, or know someone in either of these categories (which we all do) I highly recommend this book to anyone looking for biblical insight on this complex part of human relationships.

[Molly · Rating 4 out of 5]

Found this book to be very helpful in thinking through different topics. They have a rock-solid biblical basis for why they believe what they believe so I was refreshed by how much they brought scripture into different topics such as purity, being intentional (future-minded), and even breaking up.

Definitely recommend this book to anyone who is looking for thoughtful, easy-to-understand scripture-filled answers to a bunch of questions on dating!

[Rachel · Rating 2 out of 5]

A very basic read...not insightful if you've grown up in church or read other dating books. It also came off as preachy, and the title is misleading. It would have been better if it was actually geared towards romantics, but it didn't even acknowledge this personality type or the unique dating hurdles that these people face.

[Emily Wildt · Rating 2 out of 5]

This book was just ok. It would be an excellent book for a high schooler or college age person just starting to date that’s never had any guidance or someone that’s a brand new believer desiring to honor the Lord in the process. There were excellent nuggets of truth, but I’ve read better, more thorough books on this topic.

[neena thomas · Rating 5 out of 5]

i LOVE this book! such great advice and all of it is backed by scripture with citations straight from the Bible. i also love how the authors consulted their wives when writing this and included their thoughts and anecdotes in these letters. i would definitely recommend this book to any Christian who is single or dating someone.

[Ava Bindner · Rating 3 out of 5]

I thought this book made some great points about leading a godly life through dating. This book is more geared to people in relationships, which I’m not, so there were some things that didn’t apply to me, but it was good to read to keep in mind for my future partner. I love when books like this have Bible verses to reference to about the points being made. Overall 3.5/5 stars!!

[Natasha Burling · Rating 3 out of 5]

Overall it’s a descent book with some preliminary thoughts on dating from a biblical perspective. My boyfriend and I read the chapters we felt were relevant to us and it created some great discussions on important topics. I later finished the rest of the book on my own.

If I find the motivation I might update this post later to explain what I specifically did and didn’t like about this book.

[Ruth Kianna · Rating 5 out of 5]

I absolutely love this book it is a great way to get wisdom on dating whether or not you are looking into dating as a christian or if you just want to be properly armed with wisdom for when that time comes it properly equips you to think through things biblically and wisely before jumping into the dating pool. I totally recommend this!
5 Stars ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

[Will Sanderson · Rating 3 out of 5]

Good, but basic

There is a good book here, and if you area young person or have little biblical teaching onthe topic you will surely be blessed however, if you are older or well read on the topic even with its length it’s hard to really feel worth it.

[Shammoy Brown · Rating 5 out of 5]

TERRIFIC

Solid and bible based. I absolutely enjoyed this book and can’t wait to read the others in the series. Congratulations author, with the help of God, you both beautifully gave the truth in love. I am blessed and the better for it.

[Jordan Pollock · Rating 5 out of 5]

So much truth in this book. Without jumping into too much specifics it outlines very valuable points of romantic relationships and dating within the biblical principles of how to be successful. Highly recommend! The layout is masterful. I will take advantage and turn back to specific chapters.

[Mary Judson · Rating 3 out of 5]

The part on being broken up with was helpful. In general convicting in a good way, it points the reader to re-focus their heart on being right with Christ, and pursuing Him above all else, which is how we find true satisfaction in every area of our lives, including romantic relationships.

[Julio Padilla Mozo · Rating 4 out of 5]

Cada creyente que pretende o está en una relación (noviazgo), debería permitirse leer este libro. Así de esta forma, pueda darle la gloria a Dios y beneficiarse de Su Palabra aplicada.