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The Father Effect: Hope and Healing from a Dad's Absence
Based on the feature film, THE FATHER EFFECT is a must read for the millions of men and women who have lost their fathers through divorce, death, or disinterest.
John Finch always struggled after his father's suicide when he was eleven, but it wasn't until he was raising his own three daughters when he truly understood their futures relied on him coming to terms with his past. To move forward, he needed to forgive both his father for choosing to leave, and himself for not being the best father he could be.
This journey led to THE FATHER EFFECT, a book containing practical help for any person, man or woman, with a deep father-wound from losing a dad through divorce, death, or disinterest. It will lead you through positive lessons on forgiveness and how to change your legacy as a parent, partner, and person.
John Finch always struggled after his father's suicide when he was eleven, but it wasn't until he was raising his own three daughters when he truly understood their futures relied on him coming to terms with his past. To move forward, he needed to forgive both his father for choosing to leave, and himself for not being the best father he could be.
This journey led to THE FATHER EFFECT, a book containing practical help for any person, man or woman, with a deep father-wound from losing a dad through divorce, death, or disinterest. It will lead you through positive lessons on forgiveness and how to change your legacy as a parent, partner, and person.
224 pages, Hardcover
Published October 24, 2017
About the author
John Finch
56 books6 followersJohn Finch is the producer and director of The Father Effect short and feature film. He heads The Father Effect ministry which is dedicated to addressing the father-wound in both men and women and helping them to heal through conferences, resources, and curriculum.
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Displaying 1 - 15 of 15 reviews
July 31, 2019
Holy smokes. Please please please read this book if you had a father who wasn’t around or was less than ideal. This will change your life and the way you feel about and treat your father and your own family if you have one. I would give this 11 stars if I could.
October 19, 2017
The Father Effect by John Finch with Blake Atwood is a beautiful transparent work filled with hope and healing for those who find themselves living with the wounds created from a fatherless home. John Finch writes with a great deal of candor and vulnerability as he reveals the story of his life beginning in his early years with his father's suicide and continuing to current day where he now makes it his life ambition to provide guidance to those who have experienced a "father wound."
The Father Effect has received much praise from the fields of Christianity and psychology. The work expounds upon the author's life, drawing from first hand experiences regarding the extreme emotional wounds that were created from his father's absence. The beauty of the book is the way in which John Finch uses his journey of distress and suffering to explore potential areas of similar hurts within the reader. Not only does Finch assist in uncovering your pain from a missing Dad, but he takes it a few steps farther as he gives sound advice on how to deal with the reader's personal injuries through the application of forgiveness.
John Finch redirects frequently to remind those with a history of a missing father, that their heavenly Father is the perfect role model. The book is consistently reassuring the reader that Jesus Christ holds the key to powerful regeneration. Mr. Finch gives very specific suggestions on how to break the cycle of feeling rejected. His encouragement that it is possible to change one's life legacy from a continual sense of alienation and abandonment to an accomplished life with amazing relationships is believable, since he has gone through similar situations and come out on the other side with health. Finch warns, however, that without change, the fatherless will almost certainly find themselves in a cycle of serious depression.
I loved that this book compassionately discusses depression and addresses the misinformed attitude of many people who act as though the depressed person can "will or hope their way out of depression." Finch describes it this way, stating, "Trying to free yourself from depression is like building a ladder out of toothpicks when you're stuck at the bottom of a hundred-mile-deep hole. No matter what you do, the hopelessness of your situation only worsens." This analogy speaks of a complexity of understanding beyond what could be contrived from someone who has not suffered with depression. How refreshing it is to see a courageous author in the Christian world give validity to the real illness of depression, and attempt to provide tools to help eradicate it.
After reading, The Father Effect, I have a greater empathy for the people in this world who are suffering from a missing father in their lives. I now comprehend that those affected by a missing Dad, might be men or women. The message is very clear from this book, however, that you do not need to be the victim. You can, and in fact must, if you want to have an abundant life that the Lord intended for you, step out in faith and forgiveness to break the chains of helplessness and hopelessness. This debut novel provides an avenue of confident expectation and concrete direction for an audience of lost and hurting people. Throughout the pages, John Finch educates, encourages, and equips men and women to make a daily choice to fulfill the roles that the Lord has placed before them. It is an essential read for anyone who loves the Lord and is suffering in silence due to a missing father. The Father Effect is also for anyone who would like to grasp a greater knowledge of what this population is experiencing, so that they may then reach out in love to help them renew their life.
Thank you to FaithWords Publishing for this review copy of The Father Effect by John Finch and Blake Atwood. I was not required to give a positive review, but only asked to give an honest review of my assessment of the book.
The Father Effect has received much praise from the fields of Christianity and psychology. The work expounds upon the author's life, drawing from first hand experiences regarding the extreme emotional wounds that were created from his father's absence. The beauty of the book is the way in which John Finch uses his journey of distress and suffering to explore potential areas of similar hurts within the reader. Not only does Finch assist in uncovering your pain from a missing Dad, but he takes it a few steps farther as he gives sound advice on how to deal with the reader's personal injuries through the application of forgiveness.
John Finch redirects frequently to remind those with a history of a missing father, that their heavenly Father is the perfect role model. The book is consistently reassuring the reader that Jesus Christ holds the key to powerful regeneration. Mr. Finch gives very specific suggestions on how to break the cycle of feeling rejected. His encouragement that it is possible to change one's life legacy from a continual sense of alienation and abandonment to an accomplished life with amazing relationships is believable, since he has gone through similar situations and come out on the other side with health. Finch warns, however, that without change, the fatherless will almost certainly find themselves in a cycle of serious depression.
I loved that this book compassionately discusses depression and addresses the misinformed attitude of many people who act as though the depressed person can "will or hope their way out of depression." Finch describes it this way, stating, "Trying to free yourself from depression is like building a ladder out of toothpicks when you're stuck at the bottom of a hundred-mile-deep hole. No matter what you do, the hopelessness of your situation only worsens." This analogy speaks of a complexity of understanding beyond what could be contrived from someone who has not suffered with depression. How refreshing it is to see a courageous author in the Christian world give validity to the real illness of depression, and attempt to provide tools to help eradicate it.
After reading, The Father Effect, I have a greater empathy for the people in this world who are suffering from a missing father in their lives. I now comprehend that those affected by a missing Dad, might be men or women. The message is very clear from this book, however, that you do not need to be the victim. You can, and in fact must, if you want to have an abundant life that the Lord intended for you, step out in faith and forgiveness to break the chains of helplessness and hopelessness. This debut novel provides an avenue of confident expectation and concrete direction for an audience of lost and hurting people. Throughout the pages, John Finch educates, encourages, and equips men and women to make a daily choice to fulfill the roles that the Lord has placed before them. It is an essential read for anyone who loves the Lord and is suffering in silence due to a missing father. The Father Effect is also for anyone who would like to grasp a greater knowledge of what this population is experiencing, so that they may then reach out in love to help them renew their life.
Thank you to FaithWords Publishing for this review copy of The Father Effect by John Finch and Blake Atwood. I was not required to give a positive review, but only asked to give an honest review of my assessment of the book.
October 24, 2017
From the time John Finch was 11 years old he no longer had a father. His father committed suicide and Finch didn't know what to do with the gaping father hole that was left in his life for many years. When he was a father himself raising three young girls, Finch realized he needed God and he needed to forgive his father and himself in order to move on with his life. He wanted to be the best dad and husband he could be to his young girls. This touching book is also based on a feature film also called The Father Effect. Finch said he felt God was calling him to reach out and to share his story to help other men and women heal from the loss of their fathers. Whether they lost a father from death, divorce, or if they just had dads who weren't emotionally present, healing can be found through God and through learning to forgive.
As a woman I have a different sort of father wound. I still have my dad, but he doesn't talk to me very often. I can see how my distant relationship with my dad led me to make some poor choices early on. I can also see where my dad didn't get training on being a dad from his dad so I can forgive him and understand where he came from. Fortunately, I also went to counseling and spent time in prayer with God, was helped and then healed from some of my wounds. As a result, I made better choices and now have a good relationship with my husband and we have been married many years. I think The Father Effect would be a helpful book for both men and women with father wounds of many types. Finch gives both personal stories from his life and the life of other people along with the sound advice of other experts to offer a solid book with a lot of helpful information in it. I would especially encourage men to read it and to become the best dad they can be to their kids. As Finch shared in several places, it isn't about being perfect, but rather being available and real with your kids while looking to God to lead you.
As a woman, I also liked the chapter in The Father Effect that John's wife, Michelle, wrote about her experience with him and their family. There is also a chapter just for women and how we are affected by dads who are absent or distant.
With many broken and struggling families in our world today, I think The Father Effect would be a truly helpful book to many of us. I highly recommend it.
I received a copy of The Father Effect from FaithWords. I was not required to write a positive review in exchange for the book.
As a woman I have a different sort of father wound. I still have my dad, but he doesn't talk to me very often. I can see how my distant relationship with my dad led me to make some poor choices early on. I can also see where my dad didn't get training on being a dad from his dad so I can forgive him and understand where he came from. Fortunately, I also went to counseling and spent time in prayer with God, was helped and then healed from some of my wounds. As a result, I made better choices and now have a good relationship with my husband and we have been married many years. I think The Father Effect would be a helpful book for both men and women with father wounds of many types. Finch gives both personal stories from his life and the life of other people along with the sound advice of other experts to offer a solid book with a lot of helpful information in it. I would especially encourage men to read it and to become the best dad they can be to their kids. As Finch shared in several places, it isn't about being perfect, but rather being available and real with your kids while looking to God to lead you.
As a woman, I also liked the chapter in The Father Effect that John's wife, Michelle, wrote about her experience with him and their family. There is also a chapter just for women and how we are affected by dads who are absent or distant.
With many broken and struggling families in our world today, I think The Father Effect would be a truly helpful book to many of us. I highly recommend it.
I received a copy of The Father Effect from FaithWords. I was not required to write a positive review in exchange for the book.
October 29, 2017
The Father Effect will Affect YOU!
If you are a father or still have a father or had a father and read this book and it does not touch your heart in some way, you need to check to make sure you still have a heartbeat. I challenge you to read The Father Effect. It will affect you.
Far too many have grown up without a father present in their lives or present physically but not emotionally involved. Regardless of what you might read or hear in today’s feminized masculinity society, which often tells us a father is not needed, it does have an effect. John has termed this “The Father Effect” and explains exactly what that means to him and what he has learned from his experience dealing with the father effect in his life. During his journey and sharing his story he has learned he was not alone. Many others have similar stories. Isn't it amazing how often peoples’ stories turn out that way. Once you find out you are not the only one and how others have dealt with the issue, whatever that is, you are often better able to deal with your own issues.
The Father Effect may be life changing for you or someone you know but the only way you will know is if you get yourself a copy and read it. I highly recommend you do just that.
This book will give you hope and the solution might be the simplest yet most difficult thing you have ever done. You will not know his story and his solution though unless you get a copy of The Father Effect today. He has also produced a movie that is available at his web site - johnfinch.me.
Full Disclosure: The author, John Finch, asked me to be part of his launch team so I did get an early PDF copy of the book in exchange for my honest review. The Father Effect debuted as the #1 New Release for Christian Men's Issues when it was released earlier this week.
Whenever I read a book I hope it is interesting enough to keep me turning the pages and I can learn something from it. If it also touches my heart and gives me hope I can do or be better tomorrow that is always a plus and will get it 5 stars on Amazon.com. I checked off all of these characteristics while reading The Father Effect and I think you will too. Get your copy today!
If you are a father or still have a father or had a father and read this book and it does not touch your heart in some way, you need to check to make sure you still have a heartbeat. I challenge you to read The Father Effect. It will affect you.
Far too many have grown up without a father present in their lives or present physically but not emotionally involved. Regardless of what you might read or hear in today’s feminized masculinity society, which often tells us a father is not needed, it does have an effect. John has termed this “The Father Effect” and explains exactly what that means to him and what he has learned from his experience dealing with the father effect in his life. During his journey and sharing his story he has learned he was not alone. Many others have similar stories. Isn't it amazing how often peoples’ stories turn out that way. Once you find out you are not the only one and how others have dealt with the issue, whatever that is, you are often better able to deal with your own issues.
The Father Effect may be life changing for you or someone you know but the only way you will know is if you get yourself a copy and read it. I highly recommend you do just that.
This book will give you hope and the solution might be the simplest yet most difficult thing you have ever done. You will not know his story and his solution though unless you get a copy of The Father Effect today. He has also produced a movie that is available at his web site - johnfinch.me.
Full Disclosure: The author, John Finch, asked me to be part of his launch team so I did get an early PDF copy of the book in exchange for my honest review. The Father Effect debuted as the #1 New Release for Christian Men's Issues when it was released earlier this week.
Whenever I read a book I hope it is interesting enough to keep me turning the pages and I can learn something from it. If it also touches my heart and gives me hope I can do or be better tomorrow that is always a plus and will get it 5 stars on Amazon.com. I checked off all of these characteristics while reading The Father Effect and I think you will too. Get your copy today!
November 21, 2017
THE FATHER EFFECT: Hope and Healing from a Dad's Absence by John Finch with Blake Atwood is a must-read for those who have lost their fathers...whether through divorce, death, or disinterest.
John Finch was only eleven years old when his father committed suicide. But it wasn't until he was a father of three girls that he began to realize that the loss of his father had such an impact on him. His relationship with his wife and daughters was strained when he knew that healing would have to begin with forgiving both himself and his father for choosing to leave in order to become the dad his children needed him to be.
I first met John on Facebook when he was making his short film, The Father Effect. Over the years, I have followed his posts and endeavors to make a feature-length film, and now the book. The iterviews he has shared, along with his own story, have been a compelling revelation of just how important a father is in a child's life. I had a close relationship with my own dad until after the death of my mom when I was in my twenties. we were beginning to heal our rift when he was killed in a car wreck. But, my children lost their dad through divorce when they were pre-schoolers & he stayed away from them physically & emotionally. I tried to be both parents, but, I simply could not be their dad.
The Father Effect is an eye-opening account of the just how important it is to find healing if you did not have a father in your life...to forgive and to lean on our perfect Father for the wholeness you need. If you are a father, try to mend the rift in the relationship with your child. John shares his own journey with an honesty that is insightful and hopeful. Stories shared by men and women who have experienced hurt from their fathers, as well as words of wisdom from professionals, give this book a balanced approach that speaks to people with words of hope. I highly recommend this book to everyone no matter what your relationship with your father. And, if you are a dad...this is a must-read! Everyone should kknow the importance and value of a father in the life of his child.
John Finch was only eleven years old when his father committed suicide. But it wasn't until he was a father of three girls that he began to realize that the loss of his father had such an impact on him. His relationship with his wife and daughters was strained when he knew that healing would have to begin with forgiving both himself and his father for choosing to leave in order to become the dad his children needed him to be.
I first met John on Facebook when he was making his short film, The Father Effect. Over the years, I have followed his posts and endeavors to make a feature-length film, and now the book. The iterviews he has shared, along with his own story, have been a compelling revelation of just how important a father is in a child's life. I had a close relationship with my own dad until after the death of my mom when I was in my twenties. we were beginning to heal our rift when he was killed in a car wreck. But, my children lost their dad through divorce when they were pre-schoolers & he stayed away from them physically & emotionally. I tried to be both parents, but, I simply could not be their dad.
The Father Effect is an eye-opening account of the just how important it is to find healing if you did not have a father in your life...to forgive and to lean on our perfect Father for the wholeness you need. If you are a father, try to mend the rift in the relationship with your child. John shares his own journey with an honesty that is insightful and hopeful. Stories shared by men and women who have experienced hurt from their fathers, as well as words of wisdom from professionals, give this book a balanced approach that speaks to people with words of hope. I highly recommend this book to everyone no matter what your relationship with your father. And, if you are a dad...this is a must-read! Everyone should kknow the importance and value of a father in the life of his child.
November 4, 2017
Do you have a father issue? I don’t want to get too personal, but I know I do. And I’m not alone. I hope I’m not mincing an example from John Finch’s The Father Effect, but the author tells of a conference attended by, perhaps, 250 men or so, and the speaker asked each of those men if they had a loving relationship with their father. Only two or three men put up their hands. As this book points out, there are a whole raft of issues to be had by having an absentee father: children of absent fathers are five times more likely to commit suicide, six times more likely to be institutionalized, eleven times more likely to rape someone and 15 times more likely to have behavioural disorders. Wow.
Needless to say, I was expecting to get a lot out of The Father Effect, and Finch is knowledgeable on the subject, personally and professionally. His own dad committed suicide when he was 11, and was incarcerated in prison before that, and Finch is the director of a documentary film of the same name as this book. He has a lot of credentials, to be sure. If I were a smidge disappointed in the book, though, it’s because it really wasn’t for me as a target audience. Finch wants to talk to fathers with so-called “father wounds” who already are fathers themselves. Me? I’m father to a 13-year-old Calico cat, which involves needing to have much different parenting skills!
Read more here: https://medium.com/@zachary_houle/a-r...
Needless to say, I was expecting to get a lot out of The Father Effect, and Finch is knowledgeable on the subject, personally and professionally. His own dad committed suicide when he was 11, and was incarcerated in prison before that, and Finch is the director of a documentary film of the same name as this book. He has a lot of credentials, to be sure. If I were a smidge disappointed in the book, though, it’s because it really wasn’t for me as a target audience. Finch wants to talk to fathers with so-called “father wounds” who already are fathers themselves. Me? I’m father to a 13-year-old Calico cat, which involves needing to have much different parenting skills!
Read more here: https://medium.com/@zachary_houle/a-r...
September 4, 2024
This book was a healing process for me. I never realized I had a father wound until I read this book. I knew I lost my dad in my teenage years and it left a lasting impression on my life changing it drastically. By reading this book I see how! Fathers are essential beams of order to the family. This book while short never deviates on the essential foundation of having a godly father in an individual life. Sons as well as daughters need their fathers. If you don’t have it, it creates a whole that can impact your life greatly. You can suffer from a father’s absence by being fatherless, divorce or death. It impacts men and women very differently. I’ve learned and healed from the father wound by reading this book. I already knew I was blessed to have had a great father in my life but I didn’t see how losing him early on affected my life till now. Great book for dads, daughters, sons and Christians.
October 21, 2017
No matter your own story, you will find pieces of it in John Finch’s own personal narrative and you will most likely shed a few tears along the way but ultimately, this book will hopefully lead you to find the overall healing we all not only deserve but so very desperately need. https://thesmartcookiephiles.wordpres...
March 24, 2024
Quality book with a logical approach to how an absent father can affect generations.
Would have been more impactful to me personally if it had more of a woman’s perspective on the effect of absent fathers, but overall high quality.
10/10 recommend
Would have been more impactful to me personally if it had more of a woman’s perspective on the effect of absent fathers, but overall high quality.
10/10 recommend
November 27, 2017
I won a copy of this book but decided to give it to someone else who I thought it would be a blessing to.
August 23, 2018
a guide, an eye opener why you have to forgive your father no matter what
January 23, 2021
This book shows the value of a father figure in your life. Great book.
March 16, 2024
Amazing book that will have you realize so much about you and your father
May 9, 2018
Previously posted on The Young Girl Who Loved Books
This was a book I really needed to read. As a woman who never really had a father, so I never got to experience that. I have had to grieve that loss of relationship from a very young age. This book was powerful medicine for my injured heart. This book is so beautiful, so moving, and ultimately life-changing. The transparency that John Finch shows is incredible. He puts his heart out there in hopes of helping others heal. These wounds can affect everyone, in every aspect of their life.
This book while Christian is more about psychology, as a psych student I had a lot of interest going into this book. I felt that it was really interesting how vulnerable writers of this book are. The author shares his personal and painful experience of losing his dad to suicide. An issue that is getting worse and worse. He reveals what life was like experiencing such an intense loss at such a fragile age. The writers really put their heart and soul into this book, and it shows. I found it interesting that they use the suffering to help uncover your deep feelings that you may suppress about the loss of your father in your life, they take it one more step further, they talk about how to move past that hurt by actually practicing forgiveness. Of course, forgiveness doesn't just happen, and it is a journey that you must go on. The author doesn't present forgiveness as a cure-all, he presents it in a way that is balanced.
With the model of Christianity, John Fich points out that we can use Heavenly Father as a replacement or a way to fill in that hole in our hearts. The book is reassuring the reader of the love of Jesus Christ, and his powerful way of healing all broken hearts. He shares ways to use this knowledge to break rumination, feelings of alienation, feelings of abandonment, and feelings of rejection.
This book takes on the issue of depression. He does this in a pretty great way, in my opinion, he doesn't ask readers to "will" themselves out of that ever black hole. He validates peoples true feelings, and reassures the reader there is a light at the end of the tunnel, the pain you are experiencing will get better. He describes depression in one of the most powerful ways I have ever seen.
"Trying to free yourself from depression is like building a ladder out of toothpicks when you're stuck at the bottom of a hundred-mile-deep hole. No matter what you do, the hopelessness of your situation only worsens."
At times when reading, The Father Effect, I felt as if the book was written just for me. This book will allow readers to have a greater understanding, and perhaps empathy for people who are missing a father in their lives. I believe this is a must read for those dealing with this issue, and others who support or council people. I believe there are so many things to take away from this book, anyone can get something out of this wonderful book.
Disclaimer: I received this book from FaithWorks, in exchange for my honest and completely unbiased review. All thoughts are my own and are not affected by that.
This was a book I really needed to read. As a woman who never really had a father, so I never got to experience that. I have had to grieve that loss of relationship from a very young age. This book was powerful medicine for my injured heart. This book is so beautiful, so moving, and ultimately life-changing. The transparency that John Finch shows is incredible. He puts his heart out there in hopes of helping others heal. These wounds can affect everyone, in every aspect of their life.
This book while Christian is more about psychology, as a psych student I had a lot of interest going into this book. I felt that it was really interesting how vulnerable writers of this book are. The author shares his personal and painful experience of losing his dad to suicide. An issue that is getting worse and worse. He reveals what life was like experiencing such an intense loss at such a fragile age. The writers really put their heart and soul into this book, and it shows. I found it interesting that they use the suffering to help uncover your deep feelings that you may suppress about the loss of your father in your life, they take it one more step further, they talk about how to move past that hurt by actually practicing forgiveness. Of course, forgiveness doesn't just happen, and it is a journey that you must go on. The author doesn't present forgiveness as a cure-all, he presents it in a way that is balanced.
With the model of Christianity, John Fich points out that we can use Heavenly Father as a replacement or a way to fill in that hole in our hearts. The book is reassuring the reader of the love of Jesus Christ, and his powerful way of healing all broken hearts. He shares ways to use this knowledge to break rumination, feelings of alienation, feelings of abandonment, and feelings of rejection.
This book takes on the issue of depression. He does this in a pretty great way, in my opinion, he doesn't ask readers to "will" themselves out of that ever black hole. He validates peoples true feelings, and reassures the reader there is a light at the end of the tunnel, the pain you are experiencing will get better. He describes depression in one of the most powerful ways I have ever seen.
"Trying to free yourself from depression is like building a ladder out of toothpicks when you're stuck at the bottom of a hundred-mile-deep hole. No matter what you do, the hopelessness of your situation only worsens."
At times when reading, The Father Effect, I felt as if the book was written just for me. This book will allow readers to have a greater understanding, and perhaps empathy for people who are missing a father in their lives. I believe this is a must read for those dealing with this issue, and others who support or council people. I believe there are so many things to take away from this book, anyone can get something out of this wonderful book.
Disclaimer: I received this book from FaithWorks, in exchange for my honest and completely unbiased review. All thoughts are my own and are not affected by that.
January 25, 2018
I was really interested in reading The Father Effect. I've had a very distant relationship with my own father, and I feel like it's really affected my life in a number of ways. He left my mom while she was pregnant with me, and I didn't even meet him till I was 15. We had a relationship for several years after that but then he kind of drifted from my life again and I haven't seen him in about 8 years. He hasn't even met his fourth grandchild. I find this difficult to deal with at times and I am always interested in reading about the effect of not having a father on children, especially girls. I really enjoyed reading this book and it was very helpful and healing for me in a number of ways. Recommended.
Displaying 1 - 15 of 15 reviews