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Hexes for the Modern Age: Contemporary Curses for the People Who Irritate You the Most

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Let's face it: most people irritate us. Hexes for the Modern Age is a tongue-in-cheek approach to giving these folks a taste of their own medicine. While inspired by witches' curses of the past, this is a gift book of 120 funny spells specific to the smartphone-obsessed, overworked, hipster-drenched reality of the present day.

Organized by category--love, work, roommates, traffic, pets, weddings, and so on--each hex is accompanied by an irreverent, Demetri Martin-type line drawing.

Spells include: "May you start turning into your parents way earlier than you expected." "May all the cords to your electronics become entangled in a massive death coil." "May a full-size parking space that appears to be open actually be taken up by a tiny Vespa scooter." "May you always have 3 percent phone battery when you have no idea where you're going and it's in the middle of nowhere and there's no one else around."

And many, many more!

This little book, with a spell and an illustration on every page, is perfect for anyone who wants some subtle modern-day revenge.

155 pages, Hardcover

Published September 5, 2017

36 people are currently reading
346 people want to read

About the author

Val Brains

28 books

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5 stars
8 (14%)
4 stars
10 (17%)
3 stars
18 (32%)
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5 (8%)
Displaying 1 - 12 of 12 reviews
Profile Image for Figgy.
678 reviews214 followers
February 20, 2018
RTC

Not real hexes, just phrases of misfortune, despite the many mentions in the blurb of "spells".

Quite a quick read with a variety of misfortunes and illustrations accompanying each one, including some that are particularly specific and obscure, and others that are things readers are likely to experience on a daily basis.

Some were giggle-worthy, but this failed to provide the spells it suggested it would, and also failed to be funny enough to make it worthwhile on that merit alone.

This would perhaps be good as a joke gift, but it has limited lasting value.

The sense of humour seems to be in line with that of the creator of colouring books about "cat butts", "dicks", and "poop".
Profile Image for Brooklyn Tayla.
1,042 reviews80 followers
December 11, 2017
I received a copy from Harriet McInerney from NewSouth Books in exchange for an honest review. Please note that this does not impact my thoughts on the book in any way.

I was definitely intrigued initially, truthfully I didn’t know what to expect, but I had a hunch that it would be a laugh. Turns out, I was right. A fair few of these ‘curses’ did make me laugh, the ones listed under the ‘family’ and ‘pet’ section especially. I thought each curse was clever, and definitely applicable in this day and age especially, and I’m definitely going to keep an eye out on what the author comes out with next! I especially loved the little illustrations that accompanied each curse, they definitely added some extra humour into each one.

What didn’t do it for me, however, was that I found them to be repetitive? I felt like I was reading a lot of the same thing? Also, I rarely curse people or want to curse people, so I guess I just didn’t follow the sense of the book? But again that’s just me.

Thanks again to Harriet McInerney for the review copy!
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
Profile Image for Amy.
2 reviews
January 5, 2018
I wanted real curses 🙁
it was an okay read...some parts were funny, but as others have mentioned it gets repetitive. Also, the book ends rather abruptly which is weird.
Profile Image for Barbara.
Author 2 books6 followers
April 9, 2025
Awful. I read it on the kindle, apparently 155 pages, but every other page was blank. Each page that did have something on it had only one or two sentences and a doodle. The book wasn't so much about hexes, more about silly little curses. I didn't even laugh, considering it was supposed to be a funny book.
Profile Image for Sherri.
248 reviews14 followers
May 1, 2019
Not real spells or curses/hexes. Just funny little things that you might wish on people that mildly irritate you.
“May Siri never understand what you are trying to say.” Followed by a drawing of the situation.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
Profile Image for Jerome.
25 reviews
June 30, 2019
Not worth reading

I was expecting some snappy or humorous retorts for some imagined slight or jibe. Instead this book had awkward statements I would never use. I found none of them humoris.
Profile Image for Josh Skousen.
30 reviews
October 25, 2020
Fun little read

I like this fun little set of curses. I'm gonna try and see how I can work them into my daily conversation.
Here's one of my own: May all who read this feel their phone vibrate in their pocket only to find no notifications.
Profile Image for Mike He.
148 reviews3 followers
December 20, 2017
Funny, witty, slightly humorous, and poignant...which makes "Hexes for the Modern Age" interesting to read and appropriate as a reference source at the digital age.
Profile Image for Norah.
4 reviews2 followers
December 9, 2017
I highly recommend. This book of modern hexes is what keeps me sane! Light humor with dark hexes and accompanied with the author's fun illustrations.
Profile Image for Summer Taylor.
4 reviews5 followers
October 6, 2021
Kitschy and laughable, but some useful tidbits. Not a serious book on the surface.
Profile Image for Sam.
7 reviews
July 26, 2022
Delightfully silly little curses. I believe the art of hexing takes a bit more than just bad intentions, but this book made me laugh!
Displaying 1 - 12 of 12 reviews

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