A Nun's Story - The Deeply Moving True Story of Giving Up a Life of Love and Luxury in a Single Irresistible Moment: Sister Agatha

by Sister Agatha, Richard Newman

THE SUNDAY TIMES BESTSELLERShirley Leach lived in a world of extreme comfort, wealth and status. With every good thing life had to offer, she was due to marry the man she loved a man who, in turn, adored her. But all this was to change in a single moment.One happy day, in the midst of writing to her fiancée, her hand stopped writing unbidden; then it continued by itself, etching the words which would change her life there's no point now, as I am going to be a nun.That bolt from the blue set events in motion that caused Shirley to lose her mother and sisters, her husband to be, her horses, her parties and life of ease.Within months, Shirley had become Sister Agatha. But her faith in her choice never faltered, despite years of great difficulty when her Convent was close to bankruptcy. Her belief took her to London to knock on the infamously intimidating and tight-fisted Sir Paul Getty's door to secure the money to ensure her community would not lose their home....and getting it. Now eighty-five, she looks back on an incredible life of love, loss and belief.This is at once a deeply poignant tale of doomed romance, and a heart-warming story of taking a leap of faith and finding a meaning in life beyond the wealth and comfort she was born into. Whether a believer or not, Sister Agatha's momentous life will touch and inspire, whilst reminding us that it is perhaps better to accept that not everything in the world is yet explained.

Genres: Nonfiction

319 pages, Kindle Edition

First published January 5, 2017

Reviews

[Caroline · Rating 4 out of 5]

I bumped into this book in the memoir section of the library - my expectations were pretty low, but I thought I would give it a go anyway.* Well, what a wonderful surprise! This was mostly because Shirley/Sister Agatha, comes from such a fascinating and eccentric family. Truly, almost on a par with Nancy Mitford .

The moment her father died, her mother cut up all photographs of him. Sister Agatha gathers from this that they could not have had a good relationship. Yes indeed.

Also, after her father's death, her mother resolved only to wear purple and lilac in future - which she then carried out.

She prayed that Shirley might become religious, and the Bible was read on a daily basis in the household - so there was some background at least to Shirley's later decision to become a nun. In spite of her closeness to her mother though, at a later stage Shirley left The Church of England and became a Catholic.

As a teenager, in 1947, she was sent to school in London. Whilst there she began to meet some American ex-servicemen. Her mother learnt about this and was horrified. She sent her off to a boarding school called Brondesbury, deep in the Hertfordshire countryside. She got on very well at this school, and eventually the headmistress wrote to her mother saying that they wanted to make her head girl. Her mother responded thus...

"Dear Miss Forbes-Dunlop,

I am in receipt of your letter proposing that my daughter Shirley be made Head Girl as from the autumn term.

I cannot believe that the standards of Brondesbury have sunk to such a level that she should be propelled to the top of your school, and I am removing my daughter as of immediate effect. Please be so good as to have her belongings packed and ready for collection on our arrival.

Yours sincerely,
Ximena Leach."

Shirley was a debutante, and presented at court, but she was not cowed by the occasion. "I curtsied to The Majesties and to Princess Margaret along with 400 other girls, as if we were just a factory production line of poupée dolls... "

The book also contains a powerful love story. As Shirley ends up becoming a nun, it doesn't have the usual ending - but it is extremely moving in terms of the depth and longevity of their feelings, and how at every stage we see honourable people trying to do the right thing.

Her decision to become a nun was dramatic, and there were many people who opposed the idea. It must have taken a great strength of mind for her to go through with it. Interestingly, she always felt that she'd made the right choice - even though at the time it was very difficult.

I found it fascinating to read about the traditions of the order she joined, and how these changed over the years with various injunctions from Rome.

For instance for many centuries, and right up to 1955, 'the Choir nuns' came with a dowry...they were taught Latin and required to read Divine Office three times a day. "For want of a better description they were an explicitly designated elite and only they could vote or hold office. Lay Sisters, on the other hand, carried out all of the domestic chores, the cleaning and other physical work.... The two types of nun were separated, right down to having separate toilets, and even the lavatory paper was of different grades."

For a long time nuns were only allowed to read 'approved', or cut out sections of the newspapers, although that has now completely gone and they can read without censorship.

She talks about how the habit changed, from being a full habit down to the ground, then being a shortened knee length habit, until finally they were allowed to wear ordinary clothes like everyone else. The only defining factor being a simple cross round their necks.

Shirley found this very difficult "I had been a nun for thirteen years, fully trained and able to stand on my own two feet with assuredness. I did not want to accept the idea we were were free, that we could walk around without the trappings of the mediaeval nun's clothing covering us up. While some threw off the habit with a contented sigh as if it has been a burden on their backs, others, including me, found it much more challenging. I can understand why a Muslim woman wishes to retain hold of her chador despite wearing designer jeans and sneakers below; it is an outward sign of her faith, a declaration to Allah that she remains faithful to Islam. I also held on to the habit and veil because it informed the world who I was and what my beliefs were.....For me it would take another twenty years - 1985, in fact - before I made the change that coincided with the permission to wear normal, everyday clothing."

Seemingly quite soon in her life as a nun she was made 'Local Superior' (which most of us think of as Mother Superior) of the Bar Convent in York - the oldest convent in the UK. There followed some hair-raising financial problems which I didn't feel were greatly alleviated by Shirley's input, or perhaps that was more about her getting bad advice. In the end Paul Getty helped her out, (yes, that Paul Getty), and he helped put the convent on a more secure footing.

She went on later to run the medical block at the convent, and refers with much affection to the nuns she looks after. She also did a lot of travelling. She achieved this by becoming a tour lecturer for various holiday companies. She did this whilst still being a nun. One gets the sense of a someone who has led a rich life, not least because of her own initiative.

The is book written by Richard Newman, based on a series of interviews that he did with Shirley (she was 85 at the time it was written), and I think he has done a good job.

And I shall end on a silly note....... Apparently the nuns at the Bar Convent enjoy doing the lottery, and their favourite TV series is "Call The Midwife."

* I would NOT have given the book a go it it had sported the title of the Kindle Edition "A Nun's Story - The Deeply moving True Story of Giving Up a Life of Love and Luxury in a Single Irresistible Moment." Oh what yukky treacle! The book has done nothing to deserve such a nauseating sub-title. 0_0

[Leila · Rating 3 out of 5]

I have to admit I have struggled to some extent with this book. It was so full of so many bits and pieces that I found myself eventually beginning to skip pages here and there. I do appear to be in the minority with this opinion. Having said that; I think Sister Agatha is the sort of nun I admire rather than the nuns of my far off childhood, many of whom in my personal experiences as a child could be verbally quite cruel at times and some were definitely too fond of the cane. Then there were the ones whose mission in life appeared to be the need to make every female child they encountered ready to follow in their footsteps. "Have you ever thought about becoming a nun dear?" was a frequent comment to many young girls. I remember one in particular when I was a child in a Catholic junior school had two canes, one had a black tassel on the handle and the other was red. Let's just say she was pretty fond of using both of them. Fortunately times have changed. Sister Agatha comes across as a feisty, fun-loving and genuine person, but I just became a little bogged down with so much detail, especially over the first half of the book. I feel perhaps that it might be a help to get the most from Sister Agatha's story, if you are genuinely interested in how nuns live (or perhaps how they used to live) In other words Convent life in general.

[Fiona Turnbull · Rating 3 out of 5]

From posh and pretty to plain and prayful.

[Sophie Hayward · Rating 2 out of 5]

I feel a bit torn on this one and feel bad only giving it two stars but it was really rather dull. It's the true story of a privileged girl who suddenly gets a calling from God to give everything up, including the man she loves, to become a nun. Clearly, she is very godly and and no doubt a real inspiration in the flesh but I found the book itself rather boring and got the feeling it didn't really do the 'story' justice. It hops around a lot, which in itself it not a great problem but there were just not enough hooks to keep you engaged. It was lacking in the depth of feeling and spirituality I was expecting and surely her relationship with God and her level of spirituality was crucial to bringing the story alive? As it was written by a self-professed agnostic, I felt it avoided more of the religious/spiritual element throughout, although there were some interesting reflections at the end. Overall, an inspirational life perhaps, but a rather dull read.

[Rose Maureen · Rating 2 out of 5]

I started to read this book,but found it abit long winded,and just couldn't get into the story,So I didn't finish reading it.

[Mel · Rating 1 out of 5]

boring and badly written

[Catherine · Rating 2 out of 5]

I found the part before she was a nun and living with extreme wealth during the war more interesting than her calling

[Sami Mae · Rating 2 out of 5]

This book had an interesting premise, but failed to live up to expectations.

Shirley/Agatha provides a fascinating insight into her early life, a world of leisure and privilege that has long since disappeared. Her sisters (particularly Didi) and her mother are well rounded characters, as is her fiance. It was strange as a modern woman to read how she was able to just chop and change between schools and courses, with the lack of consistent education not being seen as an actual handicap! The account of WWII from a child's perspective was also very engaging, and the account of how little they had after the war, even as rich people, made me realise how bad the rationing situation was for everyone.

Once we move from Shirley Leach to Sister Agatha, however, the book begins to go downhill. I found her decision to become a Catholic, and then a Nun, somewhat unconvincing. I am a religious convert myself and still could not identify with her description at all. I could understand why her mother and sisters thought it was a whim and she would be back in a few weeks. My heart absolutely broke for lovely Jeremy, who clearly never fully got over her rejection of him and lived as a shell for many years, waiting for her to come back.

Unfortunately in this second part of the book, Jeremy is the only rounded supporting character. No one appears to replace the towering figure of her mother and influence of her big sisters. Nuns come and go without ever leaving an imprint on the reader. I cannot remember any names from this section, which says a lot. The very beginning was still interesting, with learning how the nuns in the 1950s lived, but with the lack of characterisation this quickly wore off.

Years move quickly from this point on, and it is difficult to keep track of where we are in time. I think some things may be being told out of chronological order, which just adds to the confusion. For the next 30 years she goes back and forth between York and Kent, being 'called' to many jobs she is clearly unsuited to and contributing to the almost complete ruin of one order - this woman never studied maths, and was expected to be Mother Superior and manage the accounts. It was only going to end one way. Her story of how her order was saved is, unfortunately, just a tale of how she was able to use her leftover upper-class connections to meet the right people, which doesn't fit with the 'giving everything up' mantra of religious life explained elsewhere.

I'll be honest, I skimmed the last third of this book as it was just repetitive and boring. At the very end, Agatha is managing a home for elderly/infirm members of her order, does not wear a habit and has her own money to spend on things like holidays and lottery tickets. A serious contrast from the role she had in the 1950s, and one that contributed to convincing me nuns are a relic of a bygone era, and not suitable for the modern age.

I'm afraid I came away from this, even as a Christian, feeling that she had wasted her life. It is only the beginning that prevented me from giving this 1/5 stars.

Finally: whoever did the maths in this book needs to be strung up. The author was born in 1931, and says her mother was 40 at the time. A few chapters later, she says her mother was born in 1885. Then her mother appears to die in 1978 at the age of 84. It doesn't make any difference to the substance of the book, but it just shows how sloppy parts of the editing were.

[Jen Jones · Rating 2 out of 5]

Wasn't expecting much, got even less than I bargained for. SO DULL

I believe Agatha is a lovely person, but she is so full of self I can harldy believe.

I make a point of reading to the very end even books I don't like unless I really am struggling ( ie To The Lighthouse, had to give that up and Cold Comfort Farm, couldn't deal with that either) and this wasn't 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 bad but man it was so boring.
The Shirley parts weren't too bad at all, in fact, quite enjoyed them though never want to read it again but the Agatha part bored me to almost tears.
The homily from the ghost writer at the end about finished me off too.
I had to smile sardonically at the assumption at the end that I would wish to inflict this book onto someone else, in fact, I threw it away. I had dropped it into the bath etc as well a few times so wasn't in the best of condition but I didn't want to forget I had read it and to attempt it again. Life is too short for once never mind twice.
Agatha believes she's lived a full life and I believe her. However I fail to see how shutting onself into a cell for life helps humanity or in fact,anyone. She struggled with it herself as she regretted not marrying and I just do not understand.
I would honestly just say avoid, avoid.

[Helen the Bassist · Rating 3 out of 5]

A fascinating Autobiography of Sister Agatha (born Shirley) from her privileged childhood, through the second world war and the invasion of her country home by the forces via various failed attempts at an education, leading ever towards to the decision that changed her life and onwards to her battles to save her convent from financial ruin on more than one occasion.
There are fascinating glimpses into an age gone by - of ponies and debutantes and war time challenges, there's two lifelong love stories but with only one winner and there's an abiding love of cooking.

Agatha told her story to the co-author so I can only blame him for some of the shockingly bad sentences in this book. It seemed like there was an occasion in every chapter where I still couldn't derive the meaning of a paragraph even after adjusting for the punctuation. This book seriously needed a better proof-reader!
I would have liked to have heard a little more about the impact of Vatican II since Agatha was of an age to have decades on either side of the changes, but otherwise this is a fascinating biography of a disarmingly charming lady.

[Catherine Wood · Rating 4 out of 5]

A compelling story of a rebellious young woman born into a wealthy family between the wars. It harks back to a time of endless summers, weekend house parties with tennis and riding when, if born into wealth, you had nothing else to do with your days. The story charts, through one woman's life, the huge social changes which occurred with the Second World War and brings home how life and society would never be the same again. It also reminds us that things got far worse on the immediate aftermath of the war. On a different level it charts the spiritual awakening of the same woman and her conversion to Roman Catholicism, her realization that she wanted to become a nun and her life as a nun. The period covers the momentous change wrought by Vatican ll and her personal response to those changes. Not a great literary work, and at times aggravating the way it hops around without sticking to a chronology, however it is a fascinating insight and very moving.

[I · Rating 4 out of 5]

Thoroughly enjoyed this book. Sister Agatha is a born storyteller and quite hilarious in recounting her memoires. However, it's not without the heavy tang of poignancy. Yes, she answered her calling, and she followed down some very entertaining routes, but like all true vocations, it came at personal cost. Well worth reading, even if you are not in the blindest bit interested in religion of any sort. Sister Agatha is an engaging and entertaining character.

[Julia Povall · Rating 4 out of 5]

This story was fascinating to read. How can a woman from a wealthy background give up her comfortable life and turn her back on marriage to the love of her life for the life of a cloistered nun?
The autobiography however produces far more questions than it does provide answers; but I guess that having a calling from God is not understood by the many but the few in our modern age.

[Karin Jenkins · Rating 4 out of 5]

A look at the life of a modern nun which was quite surprising in places. Some bits of the story dragged a bit but overall a good read. The guesthouse run by the convent in York sounds like a nice place to stay!

[Lorna Corcoran · Rating 5 out of 5]

Very inspirational biography of a modern day Mother Theresa. what an amazing woman is Sr Agatha. I must admit I did skip through most of up to chapter 5 as I wasn't interested in hearing about her well to do childhood.

[Cheryl Turtlemoon · Rating 5 out of 5]

Absolutely brilliant and well written book. Written with humour, you can almost hear Sister Agatha retelling her story, travels and faith. Highly readable and recommended.

It’s not a religious book, but an autobiography of someone who believed in a calling.

[Catherine Jeffrey · Rating 3 out of 5]

Interesting book as I know the Bar Convent in York. Quite a brief overview of Sister Agatha’s life but I intend to share this story with friends. I still think vocations are a mystery to us all except the individual involved.

[Marie Quinton · Rating 4 out of 5]

What a story

A beautifully written book about how a young women, who heard God's call and followed it. Despite being in love and close to walking down the aisle. If you want to know why we don't see nun's in habits, anymore, read on.

[Avril Warren · Rating 5 out of 5]

The


Please ?Let me read

It, the nuns story

This is a very good read and i have not finished it.

[Dzsmith · Rating 3 out of 5]

An interesting story but rather long-winded and repetitive.

[Rosanne Haselden · Rating 5 out of 5]

Deeply moving and a phenomenal true story.

[Helen Fox · Rating 3 out of 5]

Not everybody's cup of tea but I found it interesting

[Louise Bowen · Rating 2 out of 5]

Lovely story ruined by dreadful English.

[Novelle Novels]

This was an interesting read.

[Sylvia · Rating 3 out of 5]

Interesting and enlightening.

[Beverley · Rating 1 out of 5]

I didnt finish this book. Found it tedious.

[katy ktp · Rating 3 out of 5]

An amazing story of an extraordinary woman giving up a promising and privileged life on the spur of the moment, and following her evolution as a nun over the next sixty years.

[Lou Gillies · Rating 5 out of 5]

A truly fascinating story about Shirley Leach and her early life of riding ponies, feeding wedding cake to a prisoner of war and the horror of her mother's gravy. About to marry the man of her dreams, she instead followed a vocation which arose from the issue of the gravy and became Sister Agatha. Insights into convent life and living through changes heaped upon them by the Vatican, meetings and friendships with Elizabeth David and Paul Getty, highs and lows, and a bit of an Agatha Christie style murder take you through this amazing lady's life. I would love to have been her travelling companion! Amazing woman!