"Maybe I thought that I'd really left everything behind. It's strange how one can fool oneself."
When we meet Lilith, she is imprisoned by two men who are taking her to the king of Merzia, to be judged for her crimes. As the story continues, we learn more about Lilith, where she comes from and what she has done. And who she really is. With Lilith, things aren't what they seem and nothing is simple.
To pay her debt, Lilith has to stay at the king's palace as a servant. She befriends with Ghalatea but has problems with other servants. Little by little Ghalatea learns about Lilith's past, the sad story behind her scars. As a small child Lilith was kidnapped from her parents and raised in isolation by her abductor, Kasimirh who calls himself the prophet of Jacob. His goal is to convert everyone to the faith of Jacob, and to accomplish his goal he uses Lilith. Because she is a dragon shapeshifter. As Lilith grows older, she understands her own cruel acts and flees from Kasimirh. But leaving the past behind isn't easy, or even an option for Lilith.
The idea of telling a fantasy story from the dragon's point of view is brilliant. I have to admit that I was expecting a stronger female character - she is, after all, a dragon! There were moments when I was frustrated with Lilith, her eagerness to please and naive trust to others (especially Ferhdessar, king's sorcerer). After all, who can you trust, when you are the dragon? It took me a while to realize that basically Lilith is still a little child who only wants others to love her. A case of Stockholm syndrome due to her long captivity. She is a lost child who mostly does what she's told. Lilith has mood swings and strong emotions, but most of the time she is angry. And the person she hates the most is herself.
"Anger is an easy emotion. Much easier than grief or fear. It's easier to hate someone than love them. At those moments, anger justifies everything. It can become so overpowering that it impairs your ability to think, and sometimes, no most times, that feels really good."
At the end of the book I was screaming to Lilith because I didn't agree with her choice. She should have been angry at others, but no, she punishes herself. I truly hope she finds her own voice and strength in later volumes of the trilogy. And hopefully there is more about the interesting world of shapeshifters. I must read more to find out. :)
Speacial thanks to the author for the review copy! It was lovely to meet you at Worldcon 75.