Raising the Bottom: Making Mindful Choices in a Drinking Culture

by Lisa Boucher

Have you ever wondered if social drinking has unintended consequences to your health, family, relationships, or your profession? Have you ever thought that losing control of your drinking couldn’t happen to you or someone you love? All the women you know are too smart. Too rich. Too kind. Too together. Too much fun. Pick one. We live in a boozy culture, and the idea of women and wine has become entrenched. Is your book club really a “wine club”? Do you crave the release a drink can bring to cope with anxiety, parenthood, the pressures of being a mom, a wife/partner, a professional? In Raising the Bottom , mothers, daughters, health professionals, and young women share their stories of why they drank, how they stopped, and the joys and rewards of being present in their lives once they kicked alcohol to the curb.

Genres: Nonfiction

280 pages, Paperback

Published June 20, 2017

Reviews

[Angelle Barbazon · Rating 5 out of 5]

In Raising the Bottom, Lisa Boucher writes with pure honesty, sensitivity and last but not least, inspiring strength. Throughout the book, she shows that alcoholism knows no boundaries - a chilling but true fact. Lisa breathes new life into an issue that many people face every day but rarely have the courage to address. But what I love most about this book is that she doesn't just simply talk about the the problems that alcoholism cause, she offers real, actionable solutions. Highly recommended!

[Books Forward · Rating 5 out of 5]

A must read! What's refreshing about Lisa's perspective is that she focuses on alcoholism not only in terms of it's personal costs, but also as a systemic and pervasive part of our culture as a whole.

[Dawn · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved this honest book that humbly characterizes the daily struggles women face, how alcohol is seemingly an easy fix, but while we think it is temporary, it unapologetically creeps up on us, and becomes an addiction. This book begs an unabashed less look at our realities and coping mechanisms.

[Sindy Castellanos · Rating 5 out of 5]

Powerful testimonials from brave women who have lived and overcome the drinking addiction. Its reading offers the context to identify the origin, characteristics and consequences of alcoholism in people's personal, family and professional lives. It can help in the acceptance process and in searching for clues to find options and solutions to this disease.
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Poderosos testimonios de mujeres valientes que hay vivido y superado la adicción a la bebida. Su lectura ofrece el contexto para identificar el origen, características y consecuencias del alcoholismo en la vida personal, familiar y profesional de las personas. Puede ayudar en el proceso de aceptación y en la búsqueda de las pistas para encontrar opciones y soluciones a esta enfermedad.

[Emily · Rating 2 out of 5]

So many conflicting thoughts about this book. I was looking for the book version of this article (https://qz.com/762868/giving-up-alcoh...) and that is not what I got. I was looking for what the subtitle promises: strategies for making mindful choices in a drinking culture. I was looking for some analysis of the societal pressure surrounding women and alcohol and the unique issues women face with alcohol use.

Instead I got some straight-talk, no-bullshit admonitions to start a 12-step program immediately, even if I don't think I have a drinking problem. Maybe this is the author's intention-- lure women in who think "I just need to make a few changes" who then, through reading this book, can recognize that they do indeed struggle with addiction and need to get sober. The author is adamant that no other addiction program besides the 12 steps of Al-Anon will work and that moderation is not an option for alcoholics (which makes total sense). She is skeptical of anti-depressants and what she calls "PhD approaches" to addiction. She kind of has a scared-straight approach, detailing stories of women who got sober young before their drinking led to huge consequences (but still significant ones). However, the majority of women in the book (including the author) grew up with alcoholics, started drinking in their early teens or earlier, and had a lot of predispositions to the disease. These cases still seem extreme to me, a social drinker looking for different ways to consider my alcohol use in pursuit of health and moderation.

I think I would like to get coffee with the author and know her as a person, but would take her advice with a grain of salt. Part of me appreciates the black and white approach to alcoholism, but I also think the book is targeting an audience that might not be completely suitable for the message.

[Sara Smith Baldwin · Rating 3 out of 5]

Read this for a book club who are “Sober Curious”. I’ve been sober almost 4 years, and thought I could offer some perspective (being such an expert...not!)
Anyway there were some good insights into how alcoholism can creep up on a person. Sometimes over many years, sometimes months. There were many facts and research offered.

However, the 12 steps of AA and the spiritual focus was emphasized too much, in my opinion.
AA worked for me, but there is a lot of “God Squad” members. If you aren’t religious, just that aspect can be enough to keep a newcomer away.
Especially if they aren’t even sure they are an alcoholic.

The purpose of the book is to encourage those (women in particular) to recognize the problem before they descend into a place they may never be able to recover from. Health, families, relationships, career failures etc...that can be too much to even try to start over.
The premise is great.
But too much preaching that AA is the only way seems unrealistic. It’s not the ONLY alternative.
It can be combined with other treatment. It can be part of a process.

If I were “Sober Curious” I don’t think this would make the decision of total abstinence an easy one.

[Ellie Bea · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book came from the heart. Straightforward, well written & full of truth. I have to say, it made me squirm a little because I found myself able to relate in so many ways. Boucher is correct, our culture is saturated with alcohol and one doesn't realize how easily out of control drinking can impact anyone. I highly recommend Raising the Bottom. I plan to buy copies for both of my adult daughters. Must read for moms!

[Mark Rickert · Rating 5 out of 5]

Raising The Bottom is a well written book that demonstrates we all don't have to hit the depths of despair to claim recovery. It is a unique perspective not talked about much but so vital. I loved the book and highly recommend it to anyone facing the choice of getting their life on track. A must read!!!

[Marissa DeCuir · Rating 5 out of 5]

As someone who has had close friends who have struggled with alcohol addiction, this book holds a special place in my heart. If you or someone you love is struggling with alcoholism, I highly encourage you to pick up this book!

[Cameron · Rating 2 out of 5]

Lots of self-talk by Lisa and her mom. Not my favorite self-help book. I'm sure there is some really good info in there but I did not finish.

Next.

[Alissa · Rating 1 out of 5]

Very disappointed with this book. The title suggest that it helps you make mindful choices about drinking but I am on page 145 and have yet to come across anything that would help me make a mindful choice. Instead I am inundated with decrees to join Alcoholics Anonymous (whether I am an alcoholic or not). Alcoholics Anonymous IS NOT THE ONLY WAY TO STOP DRINKING. I believe the author is doing a great disservice to women (and people in general) by portraying that it is. The Holier-Than-Thou tone of this book is a HUGE turn off and I'm tired of the author telling me that people are allergic to alcohol. This is a very outdated mind view in my opinion, we aren't living in the 30's anymore and there has been some studies done- alcoholism as a maladaptive behaviour but there is no evidence to suggest allergy for most people. Yes I am well aware that alcohol can ruin lives (I am the adult child of an alcoholic with a family history of alcoholism), however, it's no wonder that people don't seek help when they are faced with this tone and only 1 option for recovery. Recovery is a holistic experience. I won't be finishing this book because I am averse to the dogma that it spews. Yes I want to stop drinking so much, but no I can do without your high and mighty judgement.

[Leslie Jonsson · Rating 2 out of 5]

This book rambles, is not well written, and is like the stories section of the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous. While any book that is a female take on addiction is needed, it simply does not cover the range of addictions a woman can face, does not cover other addictions prevalent in women, such as the connection between alcoholism and eating disorders. The chapter on how the only people who can help addicts are addicts themselves is offensive to those working in the Addiction field who are not addicted. There is also not one mention in this chapter on how the majority of people in the field are NOT ADDICTED-they are touched by addiction in some way but are not in recovery. Recovered people in the field are prone to relapses, and then have to leave the field at least temporarily to get better. The author writes with the best of intentions, but what is left is a cliched mess and an advertisement for items with the book logo such as t-shirts.

[Lou · Rating 3 out of 5]

As someone who enjoys a glass of wine now and then, Lisa Boucher's nonfiction Raising the Bottom: Making Mindful Choices in a Drinking Culture sounded interesting. Boucher reflects on her own life and her relationship with alcohol, as well as other women's experiences and the wider drinking culture.

Having a wide array of different women's voices is one of the book's main strengths. Not only does it help to strengthen Boucher's arguments, but it also shows how alcoholism does not discriminate between age, class, or race. These stories, however, only appear midway into the book and perhaps it would have been more effective to have them more evenly spread throughout. Yet it is understandable that Boucher has chosen to focus on her and her mother's relationships with booze. In this regard Boucher is incredibly candid and honest, not hiding darker periods of her life.  Raising the Bottom is a very revealing account of her journey to sobriety, and her thoughtful, well-written reflections are also one of the highlights of the book.

Yet there were a couple of problems with Raising the Bottom. The subtitle is 'Making Mindful Choices in a Drinking Culture' yet there wasn't any major discussions about the culture as a whole. Boucher does occasionally add statistics to help her point, but there is no discussion or reflection on what these statistics show. More emphasis on why these numbers are important would have helped emphasise the point Boucher is trying to make. Also, there is a lot about the 12 step AA programme. Again it is understandable: it helped Boucher with her alcoholism. Yet there is such an emphasis on AA that the reader never hears of alternative methods, or even women still in the programme and their thoughts on it. This also feeds into the idea that the book isn't addressing the culture as a whole, and at times almost seems like an advert for AA.

Overall, Raising the Bottom: Making Mindful Choices in a Drinking Culture wasn't quite what I was expecting. This is not the author's fault; I was just simply expecting a more in-depth look into drinking culture. Equally, there were comments that Boucher made that I don't agree with but that's just a difference of opinion. But the consistent pushing of AA - plus giving no alternatives despite those options being available - turned me off. It seemed incredibly one-sided and quite repetitive by the end. If you're interested in personal experiences of AA, then great. But if not, then I'm not sure this is the book for you.

[Breonna Charrell · Rating 2 out of 5]

I picked up this book to help with a story that I'm working on. It was so exciting to find a book that dealt with alcoholism and recovery from the perspective of multiple women and I couldn't wait to get started. I was pretty disappointed that most of the book was on Lisa's perspective and only had small passages about her and her mother's story of dealing with alcoholism and recovery. It wasn't until page 178 that the book really started getting into the stories of 10 women.

I honestly feel that the description of this book is super misleading and instead should just be described as stories of success using the 12 step program. The majority of the book was just about how amazing the 12 step program is instead of actual stories about people's experience going through the 12 steps. It would have also been nice to have some success stories of women who went through another avenue of recovery.

I also felt that the author was pretty problematic with some of her descriptions. She would spend lots of time describing that alcoholism is not a moral failing, people should not be so self-righteous, and you should only care about what you think of yourself instead of worrying what your friends say and yet would have some self-righteous comment about how women look when they drink. I've included a few quotes but found that there were way too many to include all of them.

“what could possibly be fun about a woman drinking to the point where she is helpless and has handed over all of her power, self respect”

“”nearly one in five women on college campuses in 2015 have been raped either by force or while incapacitated” with this sort of knowledge firmly documented why does society continue to glamorize excessive drinking?”

“I’d encourage anyone thinking to end her marriage and fracture her family….”

“when did classy, ..., and confident quit being cool”

“Its too true that if you’re still running around bars in your forties, you look like a barfly and you look ridiculous trying to act twenty years old again. As women, we need to be mindful and ask ourselves, Is this who I want to be?”

[Ramona Mead · Rating 1 out of 5]

I liked the first part of this book, which is memoir. It's the author's story of sobriety, which includes her mother's story as well. It was honest, interesting, with a casual tone I appreciated. Then all of a sudden around 40%, the tone changed drastically and it turned from memoir to how-to. The tone is harsh and shaming. As I read the chapter on parenting and drinking I thought, "Holy crap, this is downright mean!" I do not have children, and I would NOT recommend this to any of my friends who are moms.

The middle chunk of the book is full of the author's opinions that are touted as facts. They feel outdated and judgmental. The way she presents this information is insensitive, potentially dangerous, and downright false. First of all, alcoholism is NOT an allergy. That's scientific fact. Second, she says that to maintain sobriety, you can't even take NyQuil or Benadryl to sleep, claiming you won't die from not sleeping. That may be technically true, but sleep deprivation is incredibly harmful - it's used as a form of torture for crying out loud! Then she says if you're prescribed pain medicine, it's okay to take them but only when you really need them and then throw the rest of the way. That's irresponsible coming someone touring the dangers of prescription drugs. I could go on and on about all the little things like this that upset me. Overall, the author pushes 12 Step Programs, and while I understand they are successful for many people, I got sober without one and I know tons of other people who have.

The overall sense of the book is there's a one size fits all path to sobriety and if you don't do that you're a failure. I strongly disagree and see how this can be scary and harmful for women who are looking for help evaluating their drinking.

There are other books out there that are kinder, more accurate and more realistic, particularly Annie Grace's This Naked Mind.

Many thanks to NetGalley for my digital copy of this book in exchange for my honest review.

[Adriana Castañeda · Rating 4 out of 5]

Everybody has their own demons. From this, no one is saved. These demons or monsters (the name is not important) represent mostly, those things that are not right for us. What has hurt us throughout our lives and has been so painful that it always stays there because we pretend it is not important and we do not want to talk about it.
Many times our monsters are related to needs that we had when we were children that had not been satisfied such as love and care, lack or excess of discipline and many more.
We think that if we evade them, we can live as if they never happened, but that is not true, they are like the pebble in the shoe that bothers us all the time but we act as if nothing happens.
And we start doing things that are not right, and little by little we destroy ourselves until we really face them.
This book is a Journey facing alcoholism but also teaches us about all the tricks of self-deception that the alcoholic makes use of.
Lisa Boucher interviewed dozens of women who got sober but fought against her own monsters and beat them, they also fought against guilt and self forgiveness. She talks about these women and their children, the twelve steps program and all the success stories.
It's a book written from the bottom of her heart, honest and direct which explains very carefully the mindfulness we need to realize there is a problem and to stay sober for the rest of our lives.
I thank Lisa for putting her grain of sand promoting this public health problem that society not only minimizes and romanticizes it but relates it with glamour and sophistication.
At the end all of us are responsible of building a more conscious society made up of individuals facing their own demons.

[Catherine Townsend-Lyon · Rating 5 out of 5]

Author, Lisa Boucher has done justice to women who indulge in our "drinking culture" as Lisa puts it. But many women don't understand that even enjoying a few glasses of wine or whatever your fav cocktail may be can become life interfering and making life unmanageable when they realize they may have crossed a line into problem drinking.

Lisa does a fantastic job in making alcoholism serious business in a "no sugar coat" but fun and witty way. The stories are amazing and I love her writing style as the book structure and flow is impeccable as a writer. I am sober and bet free for over 10+years and still had some "eye-opening" and aw-hah moments reading this book.

When people live in a culture of "anything goes" as she uniquely shares, it is not just high-stress jobs like she shares in healthcare and nursing, it can also be mom's who stay home raising kids and running them here and there can be prone to overuse alcohol, as the roots to turning to this addiction are all types of reasons, but still, for ALL the wrong reasons while alcohol advertising and our culture MAKE it look like all is well and it's ok to drink.

I don't like spoiling the good stuff on the pages of one's book or craft as a writer. But, Thank You for this one, Lisa! It is uplifting, educational, and inspiring!
Everyone needs to read it as well as all women...

Highly Recommend It.

Author/Advocate of Recovery
Catherine Townsend-Lyon

[Cheryl · Rating 3 out of 5]

I have been reading a lot of "quit-lit" recently as a social drinker, cutting down on my own alcohol consumption. I was expecting a memoir, and while there were some elements of memoir to this, it at times felt like an almost-evangelical approach to get people to subscribe to AA. 

There are many stories shared in the book alongside the authors, but I didn't really relate to them - all seemed either predisposed to addiction, or else were driven to it by trauma. There was nothing really relatable for someone like me - a social drinker looking for ways to moderate my own consumption. 

While I found it interesting to read some of the accounts, I also found it disappointing that the author didn't consider approaches other than AA, so that some of the impact of the book was lessened as it felt more like an advertising tool than a balanced account. 

I do think however that more serious drinkers would find helpful information here, it just wasn't what i was looking for. 

Thank you to NetGalley for providing me with a free ARC copy of this book in exchange for an honest review. 

[Het · Rating 2 out of 5]

I started with reading this book thinking it as self help book where various stories by people recovering from alcoholism will help others find inspiration. Recovering from alcoholism is not only about abstaining alcohol but finding that balance in life and deal with life situations in a healthy way without bordering to substance abuse.
The book sadly is nothing of that sorts. The first half is too self indulgent and gathers lot of sympathy and pity for the author. In the second half it's all about a 12 step program and total abstinence from apparently everything that gives you happiness or even little relief (like cough syrup or pain meds when in pain). The stories of other people are all who have followed the same path or program. There is no variation. Without other options it will not be able to cater to a large audience. Everyone is different and deals differently. Also didn't like how religion was brought into.
Overall was a below average read. Wasn't much inspiring.

[Shanel Chalmers · Rating 3 out of 5]

Boucher approaches the very person topic of alcohol, and her relationship to it, in a broad and personal way that is very inspiring to read from a true-story genre/perspective. It's focus is geared toward the admiration and achievements had through the 12 step programme, but the story is not written in a straight fashion (that is to say it does not always stay focused, or link on, as you would hope). It was, none-the-less an interesting read from which I gained a deeper insight into alcoholism as well as it's impact regarding modern culture. It wasn't for me overall, but it's still worth a read as if your looking into this subject for person reasons - it may be insightful, perhaps helpful, to see someone else's journey eloquently expressed.

[Aaron T. · Rating 5 out of 5]

My sister turned me on to this book after a recent break up with my GF. I'm not a big reader other than sports book but the break up came as a shock. She loved her wine. I doubt she would want to hear the truth about her drinking. We had a long-term relationship, but I see how alcohol was also part of it all. I understand so much more now about what happened. Boucher talked about how alcohol can lead to the demise of relationships. I wish I would've come across Raising the Bottom 10 or 12 years ago. Filled with wisdom & great stories from women who no one would every guess they were alcoholic, from looking at them from the outside. Everything looked just about right, but inside, the women were falling apart. Just wow! Great read.

[Melanie · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is an insightful discussion of addiction. If you or someone you love struggles with it, you’ll find hope, empathy, and coping tools in this book. The stories of these women are each uniquely their own, yet the common thread of addiction has similarly wounded them and their families. I would recommend this book to loved ones of an alcoholic who want to learn more about addiction. I gave it four stars vs. five because it didn’t wrap things up well (ended abruptly). Otherwise, the author has done a great job of shining a light in the dark corners of addiction by honestly and vulnerably sharing her story and those of other women too.

[Gigi Langer · Rating 5 out of 5]

Combines 3 essentials rarely found in one book: 1) She tells her mother's story and her own with such vivid language that I couldn't stop reading. 2) Lisa courageously takes on our culture's promotion of women's drinking; and the medical field's tepid and uninformed response to this epidemic. 3) She wisely included stories about women from different walks of life whose alcoholism showed up in different ways, along with guidelines for using 12-step programs to recover. Brava!

[Heidi · Rating 3 out of 5]

I’ve read a lot of quit lit and have found some to be life changing. Sadly, this book wasn’t for me. Less of a memoir and more of a book about AA. The topic of alcohol misuse is so personal and fragile that we will all find different books helpful so this is no way a sleight on this one, I have just personally read others that have resonated with me more.

Thank you to the author, publisher and Netgalley for the ARC.

[Nathalie · Rating 1 out of 5]

This book is just AA propaganda. The author is ill-informed, closed-minded and very judgmental. I’m not sure where these “mindful choices” were, but I didn’t see any! To sum it up: Anyone who is questioning their drinking is a selfish alcoholic and must go to AA. End of discussion. I read a lot of “quit lit” and this is by far the worst. I would not recommend this to anyone who is curious about being sober or quite frankly anyone looking for accurate and unbiased information about alcohol use.

[Cheryl Wilfong · Rating 4 out of 5]

Alcoholics don’t know they are

The first third of the book is sharp and funny.
The middle third is angry at doctors for not knowing about addicts. Here, have another pill.
And the last third re stories of women who got drunk every day and couldn’t imagine that THEY were alcoholics.

[Traci Styner · Rating 2 out of 5]

I was tired of the preachy tone and stopped reading. Based on other reviews, I thought I might gain some insights into the nature of alcoholic families (a large percentage of people I know, including myself, grew up with at least one alcoholic parent). At about 1/3 of the way through, I realized there were no new insights. Done.

[Blaine Morrow · Rating 3 out of 5]

Boucher presents a way out for anyone (though aimed at females) who may have a drinking or substance abuse problem. Her personal experiences, those of her mother and several others, and the accumulated wisdom of Alcoholics Anonymous provide hope and direction to readers seeking personal change.

[Amie Wyckoff · Rating 5 out of 5]

I’ve never been an informational book junkie but this one had me hooked. She does an excellent job of pointing out things that you would think should be obvious but not doing it in a condemning way. I really enjoyed this book, it was great information in my early recovery

[Merritt Verrill · Rating 5 out of 5]

If you have a problem with alcohol, think you might, or know someone who does, especially if you or that person is a woman, this book is the bomb!