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Take Me for a Ride: Coming of Age in a Destructive Cult
A lyrical account of a young man's mystical quest, Take Me For A Ride takes the reader in and out of the grip of a brilliant, sensitive, seemingly benign cult leader gone mad. Take Me For A Ride is the story of Mark, who, at the age of seventeen, longs to see for himself what lies beneath the surface world of reason. Mark's spiritual path takes an unexpected turn when his meditation teacher, Frederick Lenz, learns to use fear, sleep deprivation, and LSD as tools of persuasion. After leaving Lenz' inner circle, Mark faces headwinds and haunting memories as he bicycles across America. More than a vehicle for exercising and exorcising subtle ghosts of the past, the bike trip serves as the frame through which this combined adventure story, self-help book, and expose is narrated.
- GenresNonfiction
192 pages, Paperback
First published November 1, 1993
About the author
Mark Laxer
3 books7 followersLong ago, Mark Laxer's quest to understand the bigger world landed him in the inner circle of a brilliant, charismatic guru gone mad. After writing Take Me For A Ride and weathering a $30 million lawsuit, Laxer continued the quest by writing The Monkey Bible, which asks science, religion, and mythology what it means to be human. Laxer runs a software corporation, a free monthly storytelling gathering in Washington DC (you're invited!), and a wildlife conservation organization. In 2004, he invented virtual ecotourism.
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Displaying 1 - 8 of 8 reviews
April 6, 2012
(With apologies to everyone, my page enumeration in this review will be tied to the electronic book available from The Gutenberg Project.) This personal recollection, a bizarre memoir of a young man seeking enlightenment and ending up in a cult, brings back vivid memories of some of the strange, contradictory, absurd, and pathetic aspects of the ‘60s through the ‘80s. From that first introductory episode where the narrator (Mark Laxer himself) sees a “man in his thirties, with the frame of a metal pyramid resting squarely on his head” (p. 27) and sits between two sari-clad women trying to keep physical attraction out of his mind while he cleanses his consciousness, I realized how easily people who were looking for something beyond themselves, beyond the mere material world, could be pulled into such a world. I instantly understood the attraction, the short leap between admiring the mystical works of a Carlos Castaneda and attempting to live them.
I was also reminded of this era when the narrator tries to get away from his teacher and breathe for a while. “I walked to a nearby computer terminal room. I logged on and played Star Trek. The E on the screen was the Enterprise. R’s were Romulans. K’s were Klingons. Klingons had stealth devices. I was E. R’s and K’s surrounded E. E got destroyed. Each time I played, E got destroyed. I logged off and walked away.” (p. 264)
Take Me for a Ride is a story told from one of the inner disciples of the cult of a personality who called himself Atmananda to distinguish himself from his more mundane persona as Dr. Frederick Lenz. You may remember this person as Rama, a transcendental guru who was actually covered in Newsweek. I am intrigued by a community which placed such great stock in eating oranges infused with “Spiritual Light” (p. 53) and attributing a gas explosion which distributed black, gooey gobs of chocolate all over the floor to an attack by “Negative Forces.” (p. 74). Atmananda had allegedly gathered together an inner circle of people who had all lived “past lives” in Atlantis (p. 79). He echoed the teachings of his own “guru,” Chimnoy, that “…sex saps psychic growth” (p. 134) but was apparently about as effective as a scandalized televangelist in practicing what he preached.
Laxer delineates his leader’s obsession with renting expensive mansions (one in Del Mar, one in Malibu that he claimed had been Goldie Hawn’s house (and at which the author met Harrison Ford when the latter considered leasing it), and another in Malibu that belonged to Sting and cost circa $25K per month in 1992), and buying million dollar homes on Conscience Bay in New York and Tesuque, New Mexico (pp. 167-168). According to Laxer, Atmananda’s obsession with money was accompanied by a break with his own “guru,” Sri Chimnoy, by stating, “Something heavy has been going down in the innerworlds…” and continuing, “Can anyone see what it is?” (p. 180) One of the followers, Kara, responded, “This is going to sound crazy…but has Guru fallen?” (p. 181) He allowed one of his youngest “students” to deliver and explain the pronouncement as he affirmed her vision.
I was amused at some of the parody ads that the cult published in WOOF!, their freebie publication. Such humorous ideas as: “Interloka Bank is pleased to announce the opening of a new branch in Mark’s room. We will be giving away the first 500 customers as valuable gifts…” (p. 221) and “His High Holiness SWAMI UGULA UGLE from the Himalayan Institute for the Strange will be appearing in Del Mar on March 37th at 2 a.m. for the high Himalayan karrmuppet hat dancing and tea ceremony.” (pp. 223-4) are just a couple of the phony ads.
But the most alarming portion of the book dealt with the way the “spiritual leader” used guilt, verbal abuse, and even drugs to maintain control of his disciples. At several points, Atmananda accused Mark of being “mentally ill” (p. 259), began the drug experiment with Stalazine (p. 268), and continued with LSD (p. 354). As a result, Laxer gives one of the finest pieces of advice in the book: “Genuine teachers encourage their students to question them throughout the entire apprenticeship, because genuine teachers accept their own imperfect human nature.” (p. 459) One wonders how many years of his life that Laxer could have saved if he had learned that lesson earlier and listened to the rational side of his mind whenever Lenz-Atmananda-Rama overruled him.
This is a sad book, but it is a much-needed insight into an error where the search for authentic spirituality was often twisted into a power trip by the supposed “spiritual leader” and confused in a synergistic expression of Eastern religion, drugs, and popular ideas about mental powers.
I was also reminded of this era when the narrator tries to get away from his teacher and breathe for a while. “I walked to a nearby computer terminal room. I logged on and played Star Trek. The E on the screen was the Enterprise. R’s were Romulans. K’s were Klingons. Klingons had stealth devices. I was E. R’s and K’s surrounded E. E got destroyed. Each time I played, E got destroyed. I logged off and walked away.” (p. 264)
Take Me for a Ride is a story told from one of the inner disciples of the cult of a personality who called himself Atmananda to distinguish himself from his more mundane persona as Dr. Frederick Lenz. You may remember this person as Rama, a transcendental guru who was actually covered in Newsweek. I am intrigued by a community which placed such great stock in eating oranges infused with “Spiritual Light” (p. 53) and attributing a gas explosion which distributed black, gooey gobs of chocolate all over the floor to an attack by “Negative Forces.” (p. 74). Atmananda had allegedly gathered together an inner circle of people who had all lived “past lives” in Atlantis (p. 79). He echoed the teachings of his own “guru,” Chimnoy, that “…sex saps psychic growth” (p. 134) but was apparently about as effective as a scandalized televangelist in practicing what he preached.
Laxer delineates his leader’s obsession with renting expensive mansions (one in Del Mar, one in Malibu that he claimed had been Goldie Hawn’s house (and at which the author met Harrison Ford when the latter considered leasing it), and another in Malibu that belonged to Sting and cost circa $25K per month in 1992), and buying million dollar homes on Conscience Bay in New York and Tesuque, New Mexico (pp. 167-168). According to Laxer, Atmananda’s obsession with money was accompanied by a break with his own “guru,” Sri Chimnoy, by stating, “Something heavy has been going down in the innerworlds…” and continuing, “Can anyone see what it is?” (p. 180) One of the followers, Kara, responded, “This is going to sound crazy…but has Guru fallen?” (p. 181) He allowed one of his youngest “students” to deliver and explain the pronouncement as he affirmed her vision.
I was amused at some of the parody ads that the cult published in WOOF!, their freebie publication. Such humorous ideas as: “Interloka Bank is pleased to announce the opening of a new branch in Mark’s room. We will be giving away the first 500 customers as valuable gifts…” (p. 221) and “His High Holiness SWAMI UGULA UGLE from the Himalayan Institute for the Strange will be appearing in Del Mar on March 37th at 2 a.m. for the high Himalayan karrmuppet hat dancing and tea ceremony.” (pp. 223-4) are just a couple of the phony ads.
But the most alarming portion of the book dealt with the way the “spiritual leader” used guilt, verbal abuse, and even drugs to maintain control of his disciples. At several points, Atmananda accused Mark of being “mentally ill” (p. 259), began the drug experiment with Stalazine (p. 268), and continued with LSD (p. 354). As a result, Laxer gives one of the finest pieces of advice in the book: “Genuine teachers encourage their students to question them throughout the entire apprenticeship, because genuine teachers accept their own imperfect human nature.” (p. 459) One wonders how many years of his life that Laxer could have saved if he had learned that lesson earlier and listened to the rational side of his mind whenever Lenz-Atmananda-Rama overruled him.
This is a sad book, but it is a much-needed insight into an error where the search for authentic spirituality was often twisted into a power trip by the supposed “spiritual leader” and confused in a synergistic expression of Eastern religion, drugs, and popular ideas about mental powers.
April 23, 2008
I recently watched the PBS documentary on Jim Jones and the mass suicide in Jonestown. It is almost incomprehensible how many people died there and the destruction of many families that occurred. It is hard to imagine being in a group that harnesses so many hopes and dreams and ends up paranoid and desperate.
Learning more about the People's Temple piqued my interest in revisiting a group that I used to belong to that had a reputation as a cult and was targeted by the Cult Awareness Network. The leader of this buddhism-based meditation group was Dr. Frederick Lenz, aka Rama. I did some web searching and found this book.
I was never deeply into this group, like the author. The most intense manipulations concerns only people in the "inner circle" would experience (or at least people much more involved than I). I only even was in the same room with Rama 2-3 times. My meditation group did listen to his music, talk about his philosophies and some people altered their lifestyles based on his ideas.
Although my involvement was only peripheral and some years later, the descriptions were all familiar. I was surprised at how little things had changed. All that he said was completely consistent (although it extended beyond) my experience.
I hadn't only vaguely understood why there was so much concern about this group and Rama. I was certainly skeptical of Rama's claims to enlightenment, but I saw young people around me improving their lives and reading wonderful texts. I learned so much about Buddhism and meditation that it was easy for me to take the positives.
I actually learned about the fact that it was considered a cult from within the group itself. I learned about it's cultness by the defenses...we WERE free to go...we DID get more from Rama that we gave. I wonder now if this was part of the "honeymoon" period, that they were careful about when to bring the "big guns" out.
Towards the end of my involvement, there was more of a push-comes-to-shove feeling. Rama asked for applications from people like me and ultimately asked for people to move to NYC (I do know some people that did). Since I was never very committed to the group or Rama and was mainly committed to the learning process of Buddhism, this process happened around me. I had a lot going on besides the group and the slightest pressure turned me off.
I was grateful to find this book. It was great to have an insider's perspective to give some context to my experience. It is really well written, I couldn't put it down. I think it was partly fascinating because it had touched my life, but t is also just a generally intersting story and a great little thread of modern history.
The author approaches his story from a great balance of historical/autobiographical and emotional perspectives. He did a great job of being honest and vulnerable and managing to hold compassion for everyone involved. He has a wise, but unintimidating voice and isn't afraid to leave things without answers as questions.
Ultimately, Rama drown after a drug overdose. There are claims that it was part of a suicide pact. The book was written before Rama's death, but to me seemed to hold his death. To me, Rama seemed to only be a shadow in the end. Maybe it is because I know that Rama had died. Maybe the author was spot on with recognizing Rama's downward spiral from sanity, which seemed to inevitably end in tragedy. Maybe the author had to kill him metaphorically in order to move on.
Learning more about the People's Temple piqued my interest in revisiting a group that I used to belong to that had a reputation as a cult and was targeted by the Cult Awareness Network. The leader of this buddhism-based meditation group was Dr. Frederick Lenz, aka Rama. I did some web searching and found this book.
I was never deeply into this group, like the author. The most intense manipulations concerns only people in the "inner circle" would experience (or at least people much more involved than I). I only even was in the same room with Rama 2-3 times. My meditation group did listen to his music, talk about his philosophies and some people altered their lifestyles based on his ideas.
Although my involvement was only peripheral and some years later, the descriptions were all familiar. I was surprised at how little things had changed. All that he said was completely consistent (although it extended beyond) my experience.
I hadn't only vaguely understood why there was so much concern about this group and Rama. I was certainly skeptical of Rama's claims to enlightenment, but I saw young people around me improving their lives and reading wonderful texts. I learned so much about Buddhism and meditation that it was easy for me to take the positives.
I actually learned about the fact that it was considered a cult from within the group itself. I learned about it's cultness by the defenses...we WERE free to go...we DID get more from Rama that we gave. I wonder now if this was part of the "honeymoon" period, that they were careful about when to bring the "big guns" out.
Towards the end of my involvement, there was more of a push-comes-to-shove feeling. Rama asked for applications from people like me and ultimately asked for people to move to NYC (I do know some people that did). Since I was never very committed to the group or Rama and was mainly committed to the learning process of Buddhism, this process happened around me. I had a lot going on besides the group and the slightest pressure turned me off.
I was grateful to find this book. It was great to have an insider's perspective to give some context to my experience. It is really well written, I couldn't put it down. I think it was partly fascinating because it had touched my life, but t is also just a generally intersting story and a great little thread of modern history.
The author approaches his story from a great balance of historical/autobiographical and emotional perspectives. He did a great job of being honest and vulnerable and managing to hold compassion for everyone involved. He has a wise, but unintimidating voice and isn't afraid to leave things without answers as questions.
Ultimately, Rama drown after a drug overdose. There are claims that it was part of a suicide pact. The book was written before Rama's death, but to me seemed to hold his death. To me, Rama seemed to only be a shadow in the end. Maybe it is because I know that Rama had died. Maybe the author was spot on with recognizing Rama's downward spiral from sanity, which seemed to inevitably end in tragedy. Maybe the author had to kill him metaphorically in order to move on.
December 12, 2013
Victims are often and understandably hesitant to talk about their experiences. For that reason, I have a lot of respect for Laxer’s account of his immersion with Fred Lenz, aka Rama, in 1979. In many ways, cultists can be seen as rape victims. Their sense of psychological and spiritual safety is abused and damaged, often leaving their self confidence in shambles. This is the lens through which this story is told, as Laxer recounts his experience with Lenz while undertaking a cross country bike ride in which he is trying to repair his self-hood.
The book offers the insights of someone who is examined enough that he knows what happened to him and and can express it. In that way, the book is powerfully educational. What people don’t like to see or admit to, is that the dynamics of cult psychology are not so very different from the psychological dynamics at play in our lives. We all have psychic blinders that drive us to believe in that which is not true, when we want so badly to deny reality’s harshness.
This is Mark E. Laxer’s story, and it’s definitely worth reading for those who want a darkly fascinating story, a view into cult mechanics, or a look inside the dangerous psychological dynamics that are part of us all, on one level or another.
The book offers the insights of someone who is examined enough that he knows what happened to him and and can express it. In that way, the book is powerfully educational. What people don’t like to see or admit to, is that the dynamics of cult psychology are not so very different from the psychological dynamics at play in our lives. We all have psychic blinders that drive us to believe in that which is not true, when we want so badly to deny reality’s harshness.
This is Mark E. Laxer’s story, and it’s definitely worth reading for those who want a darkly fascinating story, a view into cult mechanics, or a look inside the dangerous psychological dynamics that are part of us all, on one level or another.
February 26, 2017
One of my (former) passions is/was bicycle touring, and I do love a good bicycle touring book. This is not one of those, but is typical in how bicycle tourist "find themselves" after long days in the saddle with no company but your mind. Or in Mark's case, a Siberian husky puppy traveling companion in the kiddie trailer, a puppy who is growing (heavier) as Mark pedals west to the Rockies. I can't recommend this book enough. It is an easy read. I'd also recommend it to the parents out there for your teen-aged kids, especially those who feel pressure from their group.
I forgot to mention, this is about a young man being caught up in a cult, and how he finally separated from its sick grip. I know the author. If you met him, you'd be surprised that he could have been caught up in something like that. And that is the point. It is so easy, so very easy to get caught up in something bigger than yourself, when a charismatic flim-flam man, using every carnival barker trick of the trade in the tradition of PT Barnham and Professor Harold Hill, sets his sights on you, beware. Sometimes, in these times when people like to draw tribal lines, you may wonder how "normal, well-adjusted people" get caught up, and lose their sense. And what it takes to turn around and "get out". This just might help you get a little insight.
Highly recommended.
I forgot to mention, this is about a young man being caught up in a cult, and how he finally separated from its sick grip. I know the author. If you met him, you'd be surprised that he could have been caught up in something like that. And that is the point. It is so easy, so very easy to get caught up in something bigger than yourself, when a charismatic flim-flam man, using every carnival barker trick of the trade in the tradition of PT Barnham and Professor Harold Hill, sets his sights on you, beware. Sometimes, in these times when people like to draw tribal lines, you may wonder how "normal, well-adjusted people" get caught up, and lose their sense. And what it takes to turn around and "get out". This just might help you get a little insight.
Highly recommended.
September 24, 2014
This book was interesting, but it could have been considerably better. Laxer does a decent job of describing some aspects of living in a cult run by Frederick Lenz. A reader understands Lenz's voluble and contradictory behavior. But what would have made the book far more useful would have been an analysis by Laxer of how so many intelligent, educated, capable people were sucked in by an increasingly deranged charlatan. If Lenz had appeared to be truly religious, and consistent in his teachings, his following would have made some sense. But, given his erratic, contradictory, hypocritical, and disturbing words and behavior, it seems almost impossible that he would have attracted, maintained, and increased an intelligent membership. Some sort of analysis was definitely needed. I put down the book feeling as if I had learned facts without understanding reasons.
November 26, 2020
The author, Mr. Laxer, is extremely confused, and has obviously been, for many years. And I feel truly sad for him. I was also a member of Rama’s “inner circle”, and NEVER experienced anything but love, light, and truth from Rama 💖. (And by the way, there was never any real inner circles, with Rama. It was just a matter of the type of teaching he was doing with any particular individual at the time, which was fluid & always changing, as it should be. Some students, like Mr. Laxer, were the ones that placed labels, like “inner circle” on things, probably to prop up their egos & senses of self-importance.) Also in the 15+ years that I was a student of Rama’s (and the author was a student for much less time), we never did any drugs of any type, except for some great margaritas, at a couple of dinner parties. 😆🐸😆
In any case, I now understand that Mr. Laxer, has come out with a new book, in which he compares Trump to Rama. 🤔🤪🙃 I really have no words for this except laughter. 🤣 Because the difference couldn’t be more fucking obvious. I know I may not have the “tech IQ”, & all the “accomplishments”, or money that the Mr. Laxer does.... but one thing I do have, is the clarity of mind & 💖, to see light & love, vs. darkness. All you have to do is look at pictures of them, to see and feel the difference. It’s very simple, but sometimes, all the accomplishments in the world, cannot give you true clarity to see the obvious.
Again, I truly feel for the pain of Mr. Laxer’s deeply entrenched confusion regarding Rama. (‘Deeply entrenched���, because he’s needed to validate and seal this misperception of Rama, for many years in order to come back to some sort of “normalcy” in order not to go completely insane. And this confirms for me, that he didn’t have the true strength that it takes for this kind of education.) I know he feels clear & “vindicated” by people who have been in true cults, where the teacher’s intentions were only for the manipulation of power, and not ❤️, as Rama’s was. But however many people he has that agree with him, he continues to do himself a great disservice in continually perpetuating this confusion. If anyone is reading this, that really wants to check out what I’m talking about, google some YouTube clips of Rama, or listen to some of the meditation music that he produced, and see how and what it makes you feel. Does it inspire happiness and love? Or does it inspire the hatred and violence that Trump does? Rama is/was a truly magical being 💖🌈💖, and a TRUE teacher, inspired only by love and truth. But if you can’t see or feel, the obvious difference, then I wish you better luck the next time around, as I also wish the author, Mr. Laxer. Of course, there’s always the possibility that Mr. Laxer could get the clarity in this life, which I truly hope he does. ❤️ However, if he doesn’t, when he leaves his body in this lifetime, he’s going to be in for a big surprise. 😁🐸🥰🐸😁
In any case, I now understand that Mr. Laxer, has come out with a new book, in which he compares Trump to Rama. 🤔🤪🙃 I really have no words for this except laughter. 🤣 Because the difference couldn’t be more fucking obvious. I know I may not have the “tech IQ”, & all the “accomplishments”, or money that the Mr. Laxer does.... but one thing I do have, is the clarity of mind & 💖, to see light & love, vs. darkness. All you have to do is look at pictures of them, to see and feel the difference. It’s very simple, but sometimes, all the accomplishments in the world, cannot give you true clarity to see the obvious.
Again, I truly feel for the pain of Mr. Laxer’s deeply entrenched confusion regarding Rama. (‘Deeply entrenched���, because he’s needed to validate and seal this misperception of Rama, for many years in order to come back to some sort of “normalcy” in order not to go completely insane. And this confirms for me, that he didn’t have the true strength that it takes for this kind of education.) I know he feels clear & “vindicated” by people who have been in true cults, where the teacher’s intentions were only for the manipulation of power, and not ❤️, as Rama’s was. But however many people he has that agree with him, he continues to do himself a great disservice in continually perpetuating this confusion. If anyone is reading this, that really wants to check out what I’m talking about, google some YouTube clips of Rama, or listen to some of the meditation music that he produced, and see how and what it makes you feel. Does it inspire happiness and love? Or does it inspire the hatred and violence that Trump does? Rama is/was a truly magical being 💖🌈💖, and a TRUE teacher, inspired only by love and truth. But if you can’t see or feel, the obvious difference, then I wish you better luck the next time around, as I also wish the author, Mr. Laxer. Of course, there’s always the possibility that Mr. Laxer could get the clarity in this life, which I truly hope he does. ❤️ However, if he doesn’t, when he leaves his body in this lifetime, he’s going to be in for a big surprise. 😁🐸🥰🐸😁
May 10, 2023
This is a riveting true story of a young man who successfully escaped from a destructive cult. The cult leader, Frederick Lenz, had brainwashed him with the help of psychedelics, sleep deprivation and a lot of charisma.
How do really smart, good people end up in cults? This book answers that question.
Oh, and spoiler alert... after you're done reading the book, check out the spectacular way the cult leader checked himself out. Search for Frederick Lenz in the NYTimes, Washington Post, Wired, and other major new sources.
How do really smart, good people end up in cults? This book answers that question.
Oh, and spoiler alert... after you're done reading the book, check out the spectacular way the cult leader checked himself out. Search for Frederick Lenz in the NYTimes, Washington Post, Wired, and other major new sources.
June 16, 2024
Learned about this book from Atrocity Guide's video on Frederick Lenz's life and career as a cult leader, and found it available on Project Gutenberg.
"I couldn't put it down" is something of a cliche, but it's a very accurate description of my reading experience. Laxer's book is more than an autobiography. It's a creative and thoughtful look into why people join cults in the first place. Definitely worth the read.
"I couldn't put it down" is something of a cliche, but it's a very accurate description of my reading experience. Laxer's book is more than an autobiography. It's a creative and thoughtful look into why people join cults in the first place. Definitely worth the read.
Displaying 1 - 8 of 8 reviews