Plenty in Life Is Free: Reflections on Dogs, Training and Finding Grace

by Kathy Sdao

What if the secret to great dog training is to be a frequent "feeder" rather than a strong leader? A skilled reinforcer rather than a strict enforcer? Over the past two decades, countless dog trainers across the world have embraced the liberal use of positive reinforcement. Often accompanying this trend, however, is an underlying emphasis, inherited from more coercive models of dog training, that each human in the family must be the dog's leader. But adopting the role of leader using what is known as the "Nothing in Life is Free" training protocol can result in stifling rules that constrain a person's ability to share affection and attention with their dogs. This focus on human leadership puts puts the burden on dogs to "earn" their rewards rather than placing the primary responsibility on the humans to be generous, precise, creative "feeders" (i.e., reinforcers). In this new book, renowned dog trainer Kathy Sdao reveals how her journey through life and her decades of experience training marine mammals and dogs led her to reject a number of sacred cows including the leadership model of dog training. She describes in narrative fashion how she has come to focus her own training philosophy which emphasizes developing partnerships in which humans and dogs exchange reinforcements and continually cede the upper hand to one another.

Genres: Dogs, Nonfiction, Animals

114 pages, Kindle Edition

First published January 1, 2012

Reviews

[Veronica-Lynn Pit Bull · Rating 4 out of 5]

I'm not sure what made me pick up this book as I've never been an advocate of nor have I ever practiced NILIF. As a pet dog owner, I do have an interest in training/dog behavior and as a human psychotherapist I have a background in learning theory and I was curious as to how a "professional" perceived the ubiquitous NILIF. As anticipated it did feel a bit like "preaching to the choir" to me.

I was surprised by Sdao's incorporation of her spiritual beliefs and how this perspective informed her approach to dog training; however as a secular person I was not offended. On the contrary I was intrigued by her description of her Church which promoted "an unconditional Divine love" and preached a "radical social-order based on grace not merit". If I found a Church that espoused those beliefs and actually practiced what they preached - I might be converted.

I thought her chapter on alternatives to NILIF was a nice addition for the typical dog owner. SMART x 50 seems to me like a good use of one's time and energy. I'm not sure how my own personal approach fit into her list of alternatives but I guess I would characterize it as "Lots and lots of things in life are free because life is good; however good behavior and good manners are expected and will be supported.

The intended audience for her book seems to be other dog trainers and I'm not sure she will succeed in changing any opinions. Dog training seems to be an area where people have very definitive opinions. I personally have no patience for dominance theory and listening to discussions about "being alpha" or "the pack leader" or "the dog knowing it's place" are like nails on a blackboard to me.

I am in total agreement with her argument for throwing out a focus on hierarchy with humans dominating and being "on top" of their dogs in favor of a heterarchy. Which as Kathy explains as applied to dog training means "a flow of information and reinforcement (i.e. communication) back and forth between human and dog, circular rather than linear, encouraging moving, behaving and living rather than withdrawing, avoiding and submitting".

[Kellie · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved this book! Simple. Beautiful. Many lines that speak to my heart and how I feel about the relationship between dogs and humans.

"Dogs excel in other skills, too, if we let them: playing, living in the present, speaking without words, paying attention to the discreet body language of companions and not paying attention to people's physical beauty, bank account, or job title. By ditching the edict of 'humans lead, dogs follow,' I allow my own life to be enriched by an ongoing behavioral dialogue with another mind, another perspective."

"What an incredible benefit accrues to us when we choose non-coercive, behavior-generating methods of training. In fact, selfishness alone should drive people toward this philosophy of training. The dividend of joy that surges in us as we participate in such two-way communication with another creature is beyond measure."

The book is full of gems such as these. Do yourself and your dogs a favor and read this little (93 page) book.

[Danni Green · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book was probably intended more for someone who subscribes to or has subscribed to the Nothing in Life is Free training philosophy. I already didn't, so I didn't need to be talked out of it, and the first half of the book is basically just talking you out of that. The second half contains more "what to do instead of that" which was helpful. The writing is a bit repetitive, but the author clearly cares a lot about animals in general and dogs specifically, and I appreciated feeling like I could relate to the voice behind the content.

cw: includes descriptions of animal abuse

[Skye · Rating 4 out of 5]

NextGen Dog Training is here! You can come out of the closet now. Kathy Sdao gives us permission to be permissive some of the time because nobody can follow NILIF (Nothing In Life Is Free) all the time. We don’t have to hide our affection for dogs any more or appear perfect for clients and other trainers. As a matter of fact, being perfect even has some negative side effects for dogs and for our relationships with dogs!

This ground-breaking book adds a fourth dimension to clicker training. Some will find Plenty disconcerting because Sdao debunks a protocol many of us believe - but most readers will be inspired (just gaze on the cover photo). Unsettling or uplifting, Sdao definitely will be the topic of conversation for a long time to come: PILIF (Plenty In Life Is Free) is the most innovative improvement for dog training in the past 300 years.

A respected trainer, Sdao began with marine mammals during graduate school in Hawaii and currently counsels people with canine behavior problems, lecturing world-wide.

PILIF is a training adjunct and a philosophical tome. I probably added a dozen zippy new slogans (e.g., “You can’t ration love (or air),“ “Communication trumps control,” “Don’t force – reinforce!”).

Sdao continues where clicker training leaves off, with delicious ideas like these:

• “The click takes the photo and the treat pastes it into the [photo] album.” (page 65)

• The click also connects the behavior (what YOU want) with the reward (what the DOG wants) – a win-win situation! (page 70) [Think see-saw.]

Sdao is not afraid to say the emperor has no clothes. This seminar-in-a-book brings her quirky yet caring and genuine personality right to your doorstep. Think of it as an ‘unconventional conversation with Kathy.’ A Renaissance woman and liberal arts scientist, Sdao is a well-rounded, detail-conscious writer who enthralls us. She anticipates our arguments and counters them while brilliantly and simply explaining the theory and practice of reward timing and behavior observations. After all, our job as trainers is to reinforce behaviors we want and prevent reinforcement of behaviors we don’t want our dogs to repeat. In essence: are you a leader or a feeder – the ‘Big Cheese’ or the ‘Big Cheese Dispenser’?

I looked long and hard to find anything less than marvelous in Plenty. What I found was fairly inconsequential - I wanted to rush through the first parts of the book that debunked NILIF (I was already a convert) and discover the substitute, but I ‘doggedly’ read it all, in order. I would have liked the text divided into more chapters and perhaps I read it too slowly but the concept of ‘stickiness’ didn’t stick with me. Also, ‘emotional bids’ may be difficult to grasp at first. I do look forward, however, to Sdao’s engrossing seminar on PILIF!

“PILIF or NILIF?” That is the question. But perhaps the answer is STILAFSA (Some Things In Life Are Free, Some Aren’t). After all, it’s all Premack!

[Stephen Wallace · Rating 4 out of 5]

Small paperback book from a clicker trainer. Going to give it 4 stars just because I would want a little more practical information but really enjoyed the conversation on the topic of training. The point of the book is to offer alternative thoughts to the dictum that dogs should be required to earn all privileges and rewards – the philosophy of Nothing in Life Is Free (NILIF) to as the title in the book, Plenty in Life is Free. Part of her thinking comes from thinking of the grace we get from God. Then she learned some things when a dog she got bit some people. (It had already bit someone before she took on the dog ‘Nick.’)

Probably my dog trainer friends will have had of a fair number of similar thoughts as the book, but still good to have them told in different ways. In looking over at the quotes I saved, I think they are very good thoughts. I have decided to just let the quotes speak for themselves, and as I am giving away a lot of what I think is the good stuff will mark this review as giving away spoilers. Still better to read the whole book thought and share in the full conversation.

'Over time, I discovered that the miracle of our lives is that God loves us not as a reward for our good behavior, but because it’s God’s very nature to love. In the words of Fr. Richard Rohr, the brilliant Franciscan priest who runs the Center for Action & Contemplation in Albuquerque, New Mexico, “Divine love is not determined by the worthiness of the object of love but by the Subject, who is always and only Love. God does not love us if we change; God loves us so that we can change.” This unconditional Divine love, for Christians incarnated in Jesus who preached a radical social-order based on grace not merit, now forms the core of my deepest belief.'

'Before Nick, I had worked with about 100 clients who came to me with their aggressive dogs. I knew how to develop behavior modification programs, how to advise them about treatment and management options, What I had not known was the uniquely mortifying feeling in your gut when your dog bites someone. That mixture of shame, sadness, terror, anger—I'd never felt anything like it. You are simultaneously broken-hearted and furious. Now, when clients say to me, “You don’t know what it’s like to live with an aggressive dog,” I assure them I do.'

'The whole paradigm of physical dominance needs to go. This includes scruff shakes, forced Sits and Downs, leash corrections and, most iconic of all, alpha rolls. (For those unfamiliar with this ill advised maneuver, the Monks of New Skete gave these instructions to dog owners: “Grasping the scruff of the dog’s neck firmly...shove the dog onto its back with vigor...make eye contact and continue scolding the dog. Keep the dog pinned on its back by applying steady pressure with your hand on its neck.” (How to Be Your Dogs Best Friend, 1978, p 46.) While most all educated trainers now reject these methods, some seem to be holding onto inherited vestiges of the “humans must reign” mindset. We may now convey this to our dogs kindly, we may do it benignly, avoiding any shoving or yanking, but many trainers still consider it de rigueur that our species calls all the shots. For them, it’s still crucial that the trainer is dominant/ superior in control and that the dog is not.'

'The article concludes by describing a phone conversation Ms. Holt had with Mathilde DeCagney, the trainer of Moose, the Jack Russell Terrier who played Eddie on the TV show Frasier.
[Kiley] has nothing wrong with him,” she said, her French accent softening the sharp words. “It’s all you.” I winced, but I knew she was right. She listed the reasons: Kiley is a working dog without a job; he’s a social dog without enough companionship; he’s a smart dog without enough mental stimulation; and he’s a hyper dog without enough exercise.
In other words, Kiley has needs!'

'I’m going to present alternatives to saying, “In order to have a safe, happy household and a good relationship with your dog, he can never get any privileges without performing a human-requested behavior to earn it.” I suggest our new paradigm could be about exchanging reinforcers: your dog gives you reinforcers (in the form of good behavior) and you give reinforcers to your dog, back-and-forth in a continuous flow. I can use this approach to help create positive behavioral changes in my clients and their dogs while at the same time fostering reciprocity and the formation of the deepest bonds of affection.'

'Adapting this “counting directive” for dog training, we could advise, “Positively reinforce your dog’s good behaviors fifty times each day.”
Not bad, but it’s too technical. Instead, how about, “Fifty times each day, reward your dog when he’s doing something useful or cute?” This is better; it’s concrete and simple.'

'I expand on this “fifty rewards a day” protocol by giving my clients information about how to be successful behavior engineers. I suggest that they “Get SMART” —that is, that they practice “See, Mark And Reward Training.” Those three components—seeing good behavior, marking good behavior (often with a click or a “yes”) and rewarding good behavior—are the core competencies of successful trainers. This trio of skills comprises the technique called “capturing” (or “scanning” by some marine-mammal trainers): capitalizing on the numerous desirable behaviors an animal performs over the course of an average day by: 1) noticing them, 2) pointing them out to the animal, and 3) then giving the animal a reward in order to increase the strength of those behaviors. We make efforts to reinforce behaviors we like so those behaviors become more frequent, more intense and longer.'

'I add another aspect to the analogy, asking students to use their clicker/camera to create a photo album of their good dog. “I want you to compile as many photos as you can of Max being good” (or “sweet” or “smart” or “calm” or “an angel”—depending on how I want to influence what behaviors they're looking for). 1 continue, “The click takes the photo and the treat pastes it into the album.” I imagine this album as an actual three-dimensional book with paper pages and those tiny self-adhesive corners holding the printed photos in place. More tech-savvy folks probably envision a virtual photo album (think Flickr or Shutterfly). No matter; the analogy works either way.'

'Well, they are dogs, but there’s no “only” about it. Besides being fully deserving of dignity in their own right, dogs can help us figure out how to get along with other beings, human and non-human. Living with dogs presents us with the paint-by-numbers version of relationships, helpfully simplified because it’s stripped of the human complications of verbal language, spiteful (or altruistic) agendas, endless analysis and moral equivocating. Given dogs’ sociability, matchless sensitivity to human body-language, behavioral flexibility and passion for physical play, they are ideal “lab partners” for humans desiring to develop new skills to become better parents, spouses, siblings and friends. This is why discussions about various dog-training methods can get so emotional. They reflect our deepest beliefs about how all relationships should function.'

'Could the best sort of leadership come “from behind?” Maybe its actually less about commanding and controlling the learner routinely telling him what to do—and more about setting up for, seeing, marking and rewarding the learner's freely offered cooperative behaviors. In this view, good leaders spend their energy thoughtfully arranging the learner's environment to promote good behavior, proactively planning to avoid problems and steering clear of interventions that create fear or avoidance. This quieter, more nuanced version of leadership seems somehow un-American. We're such a “get busy and make stuff happen” culture; it’s challenging to stop, look and listen to our dogs.'

'But, as I’ve questioned both this approach and my relentless self-absorption, my training focus has shifted gradually away from ensuring animals compliance with my directives. Instead, I’ve become increasingly aware of the critical need for me to observe the animals I train—intentionally watching their behaviors with mindful attention. This cultivation of the skills of clearly seeing behavior and learning to recognize and respond to desirable behaviors trumps any reward-rationing protocol. It also precedes—temporally and philosophically—any attempts I make to improve the animal’s obedience to my requests.'

'My training has changed, replacing an “eye” for an “I.” Dedicating energy to seeing “the other”—fully perceiving the range and subtlety of the animal's behaviors—has become the most important component of the training | do and the training I teach to my students.'

So, some of the things I loved in this book was the thought of something similar to counting steps in your day, to count rewarding right behavior on your dogs with a goal of at least 50 times a day. That means observing and interacting with them. And of course to reward at the same moment as if you are taking a picture, at the moment they are doing things right. Hopefully my excerpts are enough of a teaser to get people to want to read the book and not enough to have the author get pissed at me for giving too much away.

[Lara · Rating 5 out of 5]

What a beautiful and important little book about our ethical duties to our dogs and the limitless potential of joy that exists in those relationships. I recommend this to everyone who has ever asked if there is a better way to communicate.

[Kelly · Rating 4 out of 5]

Kathy Sdao is candid and funny in her book about making choices as a trainer. The book is primarily reflective, but it does include scientific references, as well as references to her work as a marine mammal trainer and her interections with others. Kathy makes a strong case against the NILIF theory that so many trainers subscribe to, and instead recommends a positive relationship based on mutual respect and reward. As somebody that often recommends NILIF, I found this book eye-opening. I do consider myself a loving and giving companion to my dogs, but NILIF isn't about giving. I will recommend this book to other trainers as well as to dog owners, to give them more insight into developing a positive and lasting relationship with their furry (or feathered or scaled!) companions.

[Virginia · Rating 2 out of 5]

This would have been a brilliant book, if it stuck to the topic. Instead, the author takes a number of detours to explain her Catholic faith in excruciating detail. These faith discussions are not related to her topic at all, and don't give any insight into dog training, and I was disappointed that I paid money for someone's amateur religious screed. I found the unexpected proselytizing extremely off-putting, and will likely not read anything else by the author.

Bottom line: if you are looking for a discussion about the spiritual experience of Christian foot washing, with long paragraphs about dog training thrown in, this is for you. If you are just interested in training your dog, look elsewhere.

[Irene · Rating 5 out of 5]

I’ve never been a fan of the “Nothing in life is free” dog training philosophy, so the first part of this book gave me more perspective on why this approach should be limited. Sdao’s approach is the antithesis to trainers recommending prong collars, leash pops, and force techniques.

I’m an Atheist, but I truly appreciate how Sdao integrates her religious beliefs into her dog training. She really makes the reader consider why they’re training the way they do, and if there are better options.

This short book does not tackle specific dog behaviors and training solutions. Instead it challenges the handler to consider your own beliefs about how to train your dog.

🐶

[Sheltie · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was the kind of book that I acutely missed having in my library. The book that does not simply tell you what to do and what not to do, but the book that analyses the ways in which you do the training and the impact it has on you as a person. How to find the balance between keeping a dog for enjoyment, and having success training it. How to take into account not only your own satisfaction, but also the happiness of your canine companion. Brilliant read. I would recommend it to anyone who is interested in training animals.

[Kaja Trees · Rating 4 out of 5]

One-topic book

The book explains the reasons we should stay away from Nothing In Life Is Free philosophy - primarily in dog training, but also in life. I have been moving towards that anyway so it is easy to agree. I enjoyed most the chapter on how to apply this, by making an imaginary photo album of your good dog. I will try this with my dog.

Still, I felt like something was missing from this being a great book, although it's difficult to point out, what.

[Mischief Patterson · Rating 4 out of 5]

Truly a five-star book, but taking one star off for including in the recommended resources books like "Why We Get Fat," which, apart from being fatphobic nonsense, likely has nothing to do with training. I was so excited to write a glowing review, too. If only I hadn't read the resources section....

[Steve · Rating 5 out of 5]

Excellent. Taking me to the next level beyond NILIF.

[Chhad · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book spoke to me, and I could only hear it because of my own experience of being led by my dogs to find a spiritual practice. Dogs are such a gift in how they show us the parts of ourselves we didn't want to know about. I'm so grateful for the science of positive reinforcement-based training, after having swallowed the Kool Aid of dominance theory for too long (still processing this shame today). But Kathy Sdao's reflections on the greater meaning and insights that our relationships with dogs offer us is written with grace, humility and humour. You can hear the same joy in her words as in her voice if you're ever interested in listening to her speak (Recommend).
As with a lot of dog training books, I find structure not very robust and always wish there could be clearly laid out protocols. This is more a book about higher concepts rather than instructive.

[Caroline · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book was recommended to me by a fear-free, force-free dog trainer, and I would highly recommend it to new puppy parents as well! As a nonreligious person, I was a bit skeptical about the spiritual slant Ms. Sdao takes in a book which is broadly about how we can build better partnerships, based on mutual respect and trust, with our canine companions, but I was pleasantly surprised by how elegantly it was done. As I continue to train our puppy, this book has helped me to shift my mindset away from the corrective approach we used to train my childhood dog and towards an approach that encourages our puppy to make the decision we would prefer her to make on her own.

[Nadia · Rating 5 out of 5]

Must-Read for all Trainers and Most Owners

If you're not religious/Christian, some passages can come across a little preachy but in spite of my reservations on that, I think this book is a fantastic, compassionate rebuttal to the Nothing In Life Is Free (NILIF) style of dog-training while acknowledging that there are appropriate context for some versions of NILIF. Kathy Sdao is a fantastic trainer, speaker, and writer and I urge anyone interested in, open to, and/or committed to positive, aversive-free training to read this book.

[Bill Lovegrove · Rating 3 out of 5]

As a first time dog owner, I found a helpful balanced perspective on the various dog-training methods I have read about. Her insights into animal training are helpful. Her digressions into theology and philosophy are not so helpful. She would probably not describe them as digressions; she explains her dog training methods as firmly rooted in her worldview. One some points I agree, but when our worldviews diverge I find myself distracted and questioning her conclusions.

[Ruthie · Rating 4 out of 5]

Liked it a lot, Kathy Sdao makes some excellent points. Didn't love the writing style.

[Caitlin · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is an excellent and fascinating take on positive reinforcement training for dogs - infusing training with spirituality. Recommend to all dog owners!

[Joao Ferreira · Rating 5 out of 5]

Fantastic

Love it. Every dog owner should read it, so much love and grace. I learned a lot how to really bond with my little yorkie

[M · Rating 5 out of 5]

4.5 stars. Some beautiful thoughts on how we interact with and train animals and why.

[SUSAN *Nevertheless,she persisted* · Rating 4 out of 5]

Excellent source book for dog training.

[Shel · Rating 5 out of 5]

"This reciprocal exchange of reinforcement between learner and teacher — the animal behaving in a way that pleases the trainer, followed by the trainer behaving in a way that pleases the animal, over and over— is the very definition of a cooperative partnership. The rewards flow in both directions, with each partner taking turns behaving in desirable ways."

"Could we decide that training is, ideally, a partnership of sentient animals—one human and the other non-human—which has the goal of increasing the joy of both partners as well as everyone around them?"

[Jennifer · Rating 4 out of 5]

Kathy Sdao has a gift for tying together personal storytelling and practical dog-training advice, using memorable metaphors and pithy slogans. As with most people who manage to change others’ (humans and animals’) behavior and ways of thinking, this book is “sticky,” as Kathy would say. It contains stories and appeals to the heart, as well as information. Though I have stumbled through to a very similar positive reinforcement style of training that Kathy describes by trial-and-error and wading through a lot of good and bad information online, it was useful to see the information summarized in the chapter of what *to* do instead of NILIF. Humans, like dogs, do much better when there are presented with positive replacement behaviors and ways of thinking. It was also interesting to observe Kathy Sdao’s personal journey, for her through dog training and Roman Catholicism, to the “radical” perspective (with white supremacist, colonialist, capitalist America as the reference point) that humans and nature (including animals whom we choice, and who choose us) should coexist in a mutually beneficial relationship with the goal of amplifying joy.

[Dita · Rating 4 out of 5]

Dog or human training?

Good, insightful book. Might be a good book to use for folks trying to find balance in their own life. Great to get an understanding of the SMARTx50 technique. It's affirmations for dogs with the benefit of shaping behavior.

[Lona · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is actually written for dog trainers, it seems, but I learned from it and enjoyed it. When I get myself organized and try the techniques, I should update my rating to 5 stars if the techniques work. This book gave me hope that we might be able to stop Koder's stealing ways!

AME, I gave it to Kate. If you haven't gotten a copy yet, you can be on the list after Kate.

[Alejandra · Rating 4 out of 5]

Seems that this is intended primarily for dog trainers, arguing for limiting the extent of "nothing in life is free". Not a lot of practical advice for dog owners other than the SMART-50 approach. Interesting information about dog behaviour. I also found interesting the parallels drawn for training animals you can't physically overpower (e..g. dolphins) using only positive reinforcement.

[Shawndra · Rating 5 out of 5]

I think every dog owner (and perhaps some not) should read this to gain some perspective on not only training and living with dogs, but on truly enjoying life and choosing to follow an enriching path rather than blindly tripping over yourself every step of the way. Great little read.

[Amy Howard · Rating 5 out of 5]

Every dog owner should read

I wholeheartedly agree with her philosophy. I would recommend this book to every dog owner. Dogs are sentient and highly intelligent beings and should be treated as such.

[Jo Cook · Rating 4 out of 5]

Even though the topic of this book is dog training, it is about so much more.