The Secret Lives of Married Men: Interviews With Gay Men Who Played it Straight

by David Leddick

Why would a man, aware of his attraction to other men, choose to marry a woman and live as a heterosexual? We can understand men from the pre-Stonewall generation deciding to live in accordance with mores of an earlier time, though in today's world, where many gay men live openly and honestly, this choice seems needless. But as author David Leddick points out, our understanding is clouded by our perception of gay men as being either in the closet or out of the closet. "Preconceived notions of why gay men marry must be thrown out the window when you read this book," Leddick reports after having interviewed forty men ranging in age from twenty-nine to eighty-eight. "Each story provides very different and individual insights into why gay men marry and whether they eventually extricate themselves from that arrangement or choose to remain married.

While it is clear that fear, cultural isolation, religion, or family expectations can play a large part in a man's decision to repress his sexuality, many of the men Leddick interviewed express a strong and sincere desire to cultivate and maintain relationships with women-and the reasons underlying their choices are far more heartfelt than society has ever appreciated. "The Secret Lives of Married Men" is an invaluable addition to the growing body of literature that explores the vast and varied landscape of today's family.

David Leddick is the author of three novels ("Never Eat In, The Sex Squad," and "My Worst Date") and many art photography books, including "Naked Men," "Naked Men Too," "George Platt Lynes, Male Nude Now," and "The Homoerotic Art of Pavel Tchelitchev." A native of Detroit, Leddick also served as the worldwide creative director for Revlon. He now lives in Miami.

Genres: Nonfiction, LGBT

264 pages, Paperback

First published October 1, 2003

About the author

David Leddick is the author of several novels as well as several highly-regarded art photography books. His novels include "My Worst Date," "Never Eat In," "The Sex Squad," "The Handsomest Man in the World," and his art compilations include "The Male Nude", "Secrets of the Chorus" which was mounted in a concert production in 2003 and is at work on two other musicals. Leddick was formerly worldwide creative director for L'Oreal and Revlon. He divides his time among homes in Miami Beach, Paris and Montevideo.

Reviews

[Skylar Epstein · Rating 3 out of 5]

okay this book is definitely entertaining, but not for long periods of time. The stories are all short and tend to blend together, but there were definitely a few that made me tear up. Interesting read for riding on the bus or train.

[Christy · Rating 3 out of 5]

This one was divided up by generation, showing that older men were more likely to "stay in the closet" and remain with their wives and younger men were less likely to embark into marriage in the first place, feeling less need to conceal their sexual orientation to the world around them. While the general trends were interesting, the individual stories got old after a while. There were just too many here.

[Bridget · Rating 2 out of 5]

Poor writing. Interesting topic, enjoyed reading the short stories. Piss poor writing though. Tries to use words that he doesn't know the meaning of, jumbles his sentences in an attempt to be eloquent.

[Sarah Key · Rating 2 out of 5]

Interesting, nonetheless.