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Say the Wrong Thing: Stories and Strategies for Racial Justice and Authentic Community
Part memoir and part social commentary, Amanda Kemp's short book provides insight and strategies for creating racial justice and a strong sense of shared community. Her voice is vulnerable and personal as she reflects on her own interracial relationship, parenting her Black teenaged son, and making art in the age of Black Lives Matter. Her short essays leave you cheering and hopeful.
Kemp’s searing and tender commentary about herself, life within her interracial family, and racial justice take the reader on a rare journey into an African American boundary crosser. Kemp grew up in poverty in a predominantly Black and Latino neighborhood but went on to graduate from Stanford University and earned a PhD from Northwestern University. Now married to her European American husband, Kemp watches the way that race plays out in her family, her work as a performing artist and professor, and in her spiritual journey.
This intimate short collection of essays will leave you pondering deep questions long after you stop reading. A great conversation starter, this short book is a must read for people concerned with racial unity, making Black Lives Matter, and educators and youth development professionals.
Kemp’s searing and tender commentary about herself, life within her interracial family, and racial justice take the reader on a rare journey into an African American boundary crosser. Kemp grew up in poverty in a predominantly Black and Latino neighborhood but went on to graduate from Stanford University and earned a PhD from Northwestern University. Now married to her European American husband, Kemp watches the way that race plays out in her family, her work as a performing artist and professor, and in her spiritual journey.
This intimate short collection of essays will leave you pondering deep questions long after you stop reading. A great conversation starter, this short book is a must read for people concerned with racial unity, making Black Lives Matter, and educators and youth development professionals.
- GenresNonfiction
64 pages, Kindle Edition
First published June 16, 2016
10 people are currently reading
98 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 11 of 11 reviews
June 25, 2016
My friend wrote this book! It is very great and I recommend it a lot! The author shares deeply personal and moving stories from her life, her family's lives, and her communities, pulling the reader in and stirring up some very important thoughts and questions for people concerned with addressing racial justice. The book itself is not long, but I had to read it very slowly in order to deeply and fully digest the depth of each section. Amanda has such an incredible way with words, and it was profoundly delightful to read this brilliant thing she has created!
September 1, 2016
Race is a loaded topic that many of us try to avoid. In this book, Amanda Kemp dares to "go there" and challenges us to do the same, with moving, inspiring results.
Dr. Kemp, who has been co-ordinating dialog, offering residencies, visiting schools, writing, performing, and speaking her mind on the topics of justice and reconciliation for years, is uniquely qualified to initiate and lead this discussion. Despite her Ph.D, this is no academic text--it is a book from the heart, to our hearts (H.E.A.R.T is the acronym for her strategy for creating authentic community). Amanda skillfully uses her own experiences as illustrations, making the reader examine and re-examine personal experiences as a result. Examples include her questions about her own attractiveness, as a brown-skinned African-American woman who has borne the brunt of discrimination both from both people who look like her and people who don't; the heartbreaking letter from her teenaged son expressing rage and despair over the realization that the world sees him as "an animal;" and a difficult discussion with her husband, a violinist of European descent, regarding the use of Western classical music in a performance project she wrote to honor African-American lives lost unjustly.
This is a very short book, but it isn't a quick read. I wanted to consider each chapter carefully before moving on, examining my reactions and absorbing the wisdom Dr. Kemp brings to each scenario. What makes this book particularly important is Amanda's mission: to bring people together in authentic community where we can stop hiding or (worse) tolerating our differences and rather discuss them, even embrace them, daring to see "the other" with empathy.
Say the Wrong Thing is a richly rewarding book, and I highly recommend it, especially to those who feel weary with the topic of race.
Dr. Kemp, who has been co-ordinating dialog, offering residencies, visiting schools, writing, performing, and speaking her mind on the topics of justice and reconciliation for years, is uniquely qualified to initiate and lead this discussion. Despite her Ph.D, this is no academic text--it is a book from the heart, to our hearts (H.E.A.R.T is the acronym for her strategy for creating authentic community). Amanda skillfully uses her own experiences as illustrations, making the reader examine and re-examine personal experiences as a result. Examples include her questions about her own attractiveness, as a brown-skinned African-American woman who has borne the brunt of discrimination both from both people who look like her and people who don't; the heartbreaking letter from her teenaged son expressing rage and despair over the realization that the world sees him as "an animal;" and a difficult discussion with her husband, a violinist of European descent, regarding the use of Western classical music in a performance project she wrote to honor African-American lives lost unjustly.
This is a very short book, but it isn't a quick read. I wanted to consider each chapter carefully before moving on, examining my reactions and absorbing the wisdom Dr. Kemp brings to each scenario. What makes this book particularly important is Amanda's mission: to bring people together in authentic community where we can stop hiding or (worse) tolerating our differences and rather discuss them, even embrace them, daring to see "the other" with empathy.
Say the Wrong Thing is a richly rewarding book, and I highly recommend it, especially to those who feel weary with the topic of race.
January 11, 2017
[I read this book in epub, although the only edition currently listed in Goodreads is Kindle.] This is a short, personal collection of essays based, I believe, on the author's blog. I read it in a single sitting. The author is an African American scholar and performance artist who takes a creative approach to racial healing in our society. I learned of this book after signing up for a workshop she will lead in my faith community. I love the title because it speaks to my own situation as a European American in a racially troubled community. Here is what I wrote in my workshop registration about what I hoped to learn: "Using the language in Dr. Kemp's book, I'd like to become better at 'leaning in' in a more openhearted way. It feels like we are all working so hard to 'get it right' that we are leaving the spontaneous, creative, unreliable parts of ourselves locked carefully in a closet where they can't make any embarrassing messes or cause misunderstandings, and that results in a brittle sort of social justice, which is better than nothing, but I'd like to learn how to reach--and help make space for others to reach--a more resilient kind of inclusive community." Without providing any magic answers, this is what the book is about.
October 5, 2020
Amanda Kemp uses her own life experiences, and those of her husband and son, to show us a loving path towards racial justice, regardless of your skin color. I purchased the audiobook because I wanted to hear her voice tell the stories and make the argument. I wasn't disappointed. A performance artist herself, the narration along with some musical performances, is kind of like a song in an of itself. It's quick listen (and I'm sure a quick read) meant to be listened to more than once. While some racial justice books are designed to make you uncomfortable (and that's not necessarily a bad thing), this one is designed to strengthen you as you embark on the personal journey to be the voice you need to be to bring us all to a place of peace and justice. Highly recommended!
July 25, 2016
I am a fan of Amanda's and was thrilled to read this set of essays. She inspires me to challenge myself and to be open in so many ways. Thank you, Amanda!
October 2, 2016
Disclosure: I heard about Say the Wrong Thing from the author, who is someone I have worked with professionally on a number of occasions. I highly respect Dr. Kemp, and think her work is important and necessary.
Say the Wrong Thing is a book you can sit down and read in a sitting, or in bite-sized pieces. I think it begs to be re-read and pulled out in critical moments of personal or political struggle. For example, in the foreword, written by Racial Justice Educator Lisa Graustein, she talks about pulling out one of Dr. Kemp's essays immediately following the South Carolina church shootings as a way to spark powerful conversation in a diversity workshop. Whether used for educational, group, or individual purposes, Dr. Kemp's writings are personal and tactical suggestions for circumnavigating the world of racial inequities.
Dr. Kemp outlines her self-care tactics for dealing with what she calls the "unbearable status quo" of racism in the United States. They are broken into five sections, labeled with the acronym H.E.A.R.T.:
"Hold space for transformation: practice unconditional acceptance of what is and who is.
Express yourself: share from the heart.
Act with intention: take action even if it is imperfect.
Reflect on yourself: cultivate self-awareness
Trust the process: let yourself and others be uncomfortable. Be gentle with yourself as you grow."
Each section is short, comprised of commentary and blog posts Dr. Kemp has written over time. One section includes a letter from her son; the rest of the writings are hers.
What I loved:
-There are several clear suggestions on how to have difficult conversations. For example, I highlighted questions from the Lean In section to use myself. Dr. Kemp found herself in a conversation that was triggering; she describes an emotional fight-or-flight response, but pushed herself to "lean in." The ensuing conversation can get to a deeper level. She encourages herself and the reader to speak the language of the heart.
-Dr. Kemp shares her own struggles and imperfections in trying to live in the H.E.A.R.T. space. I was moved by her multiple responses to a letter from her son about being a young, black man in America. She demonstrated how many feelings we can have as a result of one trigger point--all of them simultaneous, true, and valid. And how difficult it is to choose the "right" response (e.g. does she respond as a mother or a social justice advocate? What are the consequences of each?).
-The writings are powerful without being debilitating. In Dr. Kemp's push for heart, healing, self-care, each of these stories feels readable. Sometimes, when I read about race and #blacklivesmatter, I feel paralyzed or quagmired; it seems impossible to get up and face the world in all of its unbearableness. The brevity of each section, with its call for healing in each, makes it possible to read. I felt motivated and inspired to be part of transformation, rather than pulled down into the deep morass of racism.
-Storytelling: I love it. I find connection, language of the heart, in Dr. Kemp's storytelling. It urges the reader to identify, listen, and accept (rather than argue) her points. The story of a Black Woman Walking is painful, but a keen insight for a white woman. It felt impossible to deny Dr. Kemp's reality when she spoke from her own experiences, emotions, and interpretations.
Whether you are new to social justice work, or deeply involved, this book is required reading. It's short and oh-so-readable, which makes it the perfect book for the non-reader. I urge you to read it, find the pieces you connect with and the tools you can use to join in transforming the status quo.
Say the Wrong Thing is a book you can sit down and read in a sitting, or in bite-sized pieces. I think it begs to be re-read and pulled out in critical moments of personal or political struggle. For example, in the foreword, written by Racial Justice Educator Lisa Graustein, she talks about pulling out one of Dr. Kemp's essays immediately following the South Carolina church shootings as a way to spark powerful conversation in a diversity workshop. Whether used for educational, group, or individual purposes, Dr. Kemp's writings are personal and tactical suggestions for circumnavigating the world of racial inequities.
Dr. Kemp outlines her self-care tactics for dealing with what she calls the "unbearable status quo" of racism in the United States. They are broken into five sections, labeled with the acronym H.E.A.R.T.:
"Hold space for transformation: practice unconditional acceptance of what is and who is.
Express yourself: share from the heart.
Act with intention: take action even if it is imperfect.
Reflect on yourself: cultivate self-awareness
Trust the process: let yourself and others be uncomfortable. Be gentle with yourself as you grow."
Each section is short, comprised of commentary and blog posts Dr. Kemp has written over time. One section includes a letter from her son; the rest of the writings are hers.
What I loved:
-There are several clear suggestions on how to have difficult conversations. For example, I highlighted questions from the Lean In section to use myself. Dr. Kemp found herself in a conversation that was triggering; she describes an emotional fight-or-flight response, but pushed herself to "lean in." The ensuing conversation can get to a deeper level. She encourages herself and the reader to speak the language of the heart.
-Dr. Kemp shares her own struggles and imperfections in trying to live in the H.E.A.R.T. space. I was moved by her multiple responses to a letter from her son about being a young, black man in America. She demonstrated how many feelings we can have as a result of one trigger point--all of them simultaneous, true, and valid. And how difficult it is to choose the "right" response (e.g. does she respond as a mother or a social justice advocate? What are the consequences of each?).
-The writings are powerful without being debilitating. In Dr. Kemp's push for heart, healing, self-care, each of these stories feels readable. Sometimes, when I read about race and #blacklivesmatter, I feel paralyzed or quagmired; it seems impossible to get up and face the world in all of its unbearableness. The brevity of each section, with its call for healing in each, makes it possible to read. I felt motivated and inspired to be part of transformation, rather than pulled down into the deep morass of racism.
-Storytelling: I love it. I find connection, language of the heart, in Dr. Kemp's storytelling. It urges the reader to identify, listen, and accept (rather than argue) her points. The story of a Black Woman Walking is painful, but a keen insight for a white woman. It felt impossible to deny Dr. Kemp's reality when she spoke from her own experiences, emotions, and interpretations.
Whether you are new to social justice work, or deeply involved, this book is required reading. It's short and oh-so-readable, which makes it the perfect book for the non-reader. I urge you to read it, find the pieces you connect with and the tools you can use to join in transforming the status quo.
November 16, 2018
This is short and to the point ... approachable and clear. Truth is, as author knows, if you want to make a difference on race and justice in the world... actually on ANY sort of justice, you have to be ready for the discomfort that comes with doing something that inadvertently is hurtful. Without humility to accept you caused pain, without strength and honesty to sit in that and learn something, we will never ever get to the world we want.
January 26, 2024
A bit heavier on the stories than on the strategies than I expected but still really glad that I read this book. A lot of books on this topic are primarily intellectual, but by focusing on the emotional and artistic elements of expressing and addressing racial justice, this book provides a bit of a different take and a different experience than other anti-racism books.
June 18, 2017
This was what I needed, when I needed it.
September 18, 2016
I grew up with a spiritual background so it was difficult going into social justice spaces where spirituality wasn't talked about. I was completely blown away when I found this book; I’d been searching for years for writing and strategies for social justice that I could relate to on a spiritual level. There’s a lot of agitation and movement building but we don’t get the time to heal within within the community, as friends and partners. We idealize people in the frontline but there’s a lot of inner work that needs to happen so that our communities can heal. If we don’t trust each other, listen to each other; share our spiritual and emotional pain, we can’t do this work, we’ll just burn out. So grateful I have these tools now and that I could share this with others!
February 23, 2021
Bought this book for my Quaker meeting's library, where I think it will be a useful addition to our growing collection on racial justice. I appreciated the author's authenticity and honesty in sharing her personal struggles.
Displaying 1 - 11 of 11 reviews