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Twice Blessed The Beauty of Forgiving and Forgiveness
In a gospel full of magnificent beauty, perhaps the concept of forgiveness is the most beautiful gift of all. It is a divine grace, bestowed in its purest form through the Savior's Atonement and available to each of us daily as we receive and extend mercy. And each sing instance of forgiving immediately becomes a double blessing, touching both the person who forgives and the one who is forgiven.
In Twice Blessed, author Michael Wilcox explores many rooms of "the mansion of forgiveness." From forgiveness within the family to forgiveness for repeated offenses to forgiveness of the deepest of wounds, each case is unique and requires a different type of healing. "As with all aspects of the gospel, forgiveness is much deeper and more beautiful than we appreciate on our first examinations," writes Wilcox.
Is there someone you are struggling to forgive? Are you finding it nearly impossible to forgive yourself, even long after God and others have forgiven you? Spend some time in the mansion of forgiveness, and secure for yourself the double blessing that Heavenly Father is so eager to give.
In Twice Blessed, author Michael Wilcox explores many rooms of "the mansion of forgiveness." From forgiveness within the family to forgiveness for repeated offenses to forgiveness of the deepest of wounds, each case is unique and requires a different type of healing. "As with all aspects of the gospel, forgiveness is much deeper and more beautiful than we appreciate on our first examinations," writes Wilcox.
Is there someone you are struggling to forgive? Are you finding it nearly impossible to forgive yourself, even long after God and others have forgiven you? Spend some time in the mansion of forgiveness, and secure for yourself the double blessing that Heavenly Father is so eager to give.
140 pages, Hardcover
Published January 1, 2016
About the author
S. Michael Wilcox
53 books144 followersS. Michael Wilcox is an instructor at the institute of religion adjacent to the University of Utah. A frequent speaker at Brigham Young University Education Week, Michael also conducts tours of the Holy Land, Church history sites, Europe, China, and Central America. He received a bachelor’s degree in English literature from Brigham Young University, a master’s in media from the University of Arizona, and his Ph.D. from the University of Colorado in educational philosophy. He is the author of House of Glory and When Your Prayers Seem Unanswered.
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Displaying 1 - 24 of 24 reviews
October 27, 2019
This book about forgiveness from a religious perspective gives a lot of insights. He uses beautiful language to describe his ideas. And I like how he notices patterns in the scriptures. In the same breath, there is a lot of opinion and self-interpretation stated throughout the book as he discusses forgiveness. So really a 3.5 star rating.
I learned the most from chapters 3 and 5. Chapter 3 talks about forgiving often, not holding others in a position of owing you, and realizing when an association needs to end. Chapter 5 teaches about forgiving yourself, realizing when you've forgiven but are dealing with the lingering sadness, using compassion to see your growth, asking questions to see the truth, and again stating that if you have nothing left to pay then you have forgiven/been forgiven.
I personally have studied a lot about the subject of forgiveness and have learned a lot about how it affects us, processes that make forgiveness worse or eases the healing, and the difference between definitions of words that are used in conjunction with forgiveness, like mercy, trust, reconciliation, love, etc...
But after finishing this book, I realize this is not a book for those just coming out of abuse, or those still in the throes of it. Wait to read this book until you have a lot more healing under your belt. There is so much that Wilcox doesn't understand about the process of forgiveness when it's a victim of abuse who is seeking to forgive. He believes in the concept of forgetting in order to forgive. Ultimately with abuse, that approach will only create a world of damage since the perpetrators used "forgetting and forgiving" as an excuse to keep the victims in the cycle of that abuse. Abusers use forgetting to invalidate the victims reality, and to cause others to ignore the reality of witnessing that abuse. Forgetting is a survival technique to stay alive during the abuse; acknowledging the pain is the only way to heal, and facing it head on is the only way to come to terms with the horror and damage done.
In other types of injustices, Wilcox's approaches may work. Like I stated earlier, there really are some beautiful analogies he sees and points out. But if you're seeking to forgive from abusive situations, grow in self-esteem and build more self-respect first. Read some other materials (like: The Book of Forgiving by Desmond Tutu) and heal more before reading this book. After the healing, Twice Blessed might have just the right next step of information you need to continue on your forgiveness journey.
I learned the most from chapters 3 and 5. Chapter 3 talks about forgiving often, not holding others in a position of owing you, and realizing when an association needs to end. Chapter 5 teaches about forgiving yourself, realizing when you've forgiven but are dealing with the lingering sadness, using compassion to see your growth, asking questions to see the truth, and again stating that if you have nothing left to pay then you have forgiven/been forgiven.
I personally have studied a lot about the subject of forgiveness and have learned a lot about how it affects us, processes that make forgiveness worse or eases the healing, and the difference between definitions of words that are used in conjunction with forgiveness, like mercy, trust, reconciliation, love, etc...
But after finishing this book, I realize this is not a book for those just coming out of abuse, or those still in the throes of it. Wait to read this book until you have a lot more healing under your belt. There is so much that Wilcox doesn't understand about the process of forgiveness when it's a victim of abuse who is seeking to forgive. He believes in the concept of forgetting in order to forgive. Ultimately with abuse, that approach will only create a world of damage since the perpetrators used "forgetting and forgiving" as an excuse to keep the victims in the cycle of that abuse. Abusers use forgetting to invalidate the victims reality, and to cause others to ignore the reality of witnessing that abuse. Forgetting is a survival technique to stay alive during the abuse; acknowledging the pain is the only way to heal, and facing it head on is the only way to come to terms with the horror and damage done.
In other types of injustices, Wilcox's approaches may work. Like I stated earlier, there really are some beautiful analogies he sees and points out. But if you're seeking to forgive from abusive situations, grow in self-esteem and build more self-respect first. Read some other materials (like: The Book of Forgiving by Desmond Tutu) and heal more before reading this book. After the healing, Twice Blessed might have just the right next step of information you need to continue on your forgiveness journey.
May 9, 2020
I felt like there wasn’t quite enough material for a book on this yet, or maybe there has already been plenty said about forgiveness. There were parts of it that felt rushed and weirdly placed and paced. This was not my favorite S. Michael Wilcox book, though there were some beautiful passages and metaphors.
September 27, 2016
Michael Wilcox is one of my favorite LDS authors and was one of my favorite institute teachers. When I started this book, I hoped that it would be helpful in softening my heart to forgiveness in a situation where I had no desire or inclination to forgive. While reading and pondering the book as well as the scriptures and scripture stories mentioned in the book, a personal experience also helped my heart to soften, although I still have so far to go. I believe that forgiveness is the greatest Christlike attribute we can possess and also the greatest display of true love. My favorite quote from the book: "We are told in the scriptures that one day, if we can prove worthy, we will be invited to sit upon God's own throne, ruling and reigning as kings and queens. That throne has a name. It is called the mercy seat... It is the defining quality of our Father in Heaven and His Son, and we would be like Them. Our Father in Heaven rules worlds without number from a throne of mercy and forgiveness. Until we sit with Him in glory on a future eternal morning, let us try as best we can to rest comfortably upon earthly mercy seats in the much smaller worlds of our own relationships."
December 30, 2017
Great stories, thoughts and insights on forgiveness from the personal life of the author and from the scriptures as well.
December 7, 2016
This book is so beautifully written & full of love & insight into the Atonement of our Savior.
July 16, 2025
“Fighting deep feelings with reason - the heart’s injuries with the. Mind’s conversations…doesn’t work. “A better strategy is to fight feelings with more powerful feelings. Bitterness, resentment, humiliation, sorrow, anger, and hate are all very strong emotions, perhaps too strong for the mind, especially when they are new, but I firmly believe that the positive emotions generate greater depth. We must have faith that empathy, compassion, mercy, long-suffering, and love are more than equal to the task of diminishing if not removing the emotions of injury. We can also feel gratitude for the Lord’s compensatory graces in our life. We turn the mirrors of our egos, which see only our pain, into windows that look on others’ pain or God’s goodness. We use the wording to enliven our ability to recognize, understand and identify with humanity’s pain.”
April 14, 2019
I love the title of this book, taken from the beautiful speech about mercy in Shakespeare's THE MERCHANT OF VENICE. This book is both deeply spiritual and yet also very real and down-to-earth. Among other things, Wilcox talks about forgiving family members, forgiving others (as in just about anyone), forgiving ourselves, receiving divine forgiveness, and even forgiving God (when things are hard and we just can't make sense of life's trials). At just 140 pages, this slim book packs a punch! Michael Wilcox has such a way of communicating powerful truths in a way that enlighten my mind and touch my heart, and this book is up there with his best.
August 12, 2019
I loved the ideas in this book. Wilcox opened my eyes to what it truly means to forgive-forgiveness is drawing near to others in compassion and seeing them in their unique situations. God immediately forgives us when we approach him. He simply loves us and forgives without reservation. I love this from the epilogue "We are told in the scriptures that one day, if we prove worthy, we will be invited to sit upon God's throne, ruling and reigning as kings and queens. That throne has a name. It is called the mercy seat...Our Father in Heaven rules worlds without number from a throne of mercy and forgiveness."
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
July 29, 2018
Love this book! Love the way the writer speaks to me!
August 2, 2018
Love all of Michael's books they are often answers to my spoken and unspoken prayers. This book is for everyone, are we not all sinners?
June 18, 2019
Classic Michael Wilcox. I never regret spending quality time in any of his books. Insightful, scripturally-based, and so applicable to daily life.
October 10, 2019
Some good insights on forgiveness.
November 5, 2019
Wonderful book. Such good insight on Forgiveness.
September 11, 2020
A great book on forgiveness. It gives you scriptural accounts that help you feel how God forgives, which in turn helps you to forgive more easily.
January 7, 2017
Twice Blessed is a marvelous and thought-provoking (and feeling-provoking) treatise on forgiveness. I made extensive notes, some highlights of which follow:
1. For our own spiritual health, forgiveness must exist independent of another’s position or actions. We may need to forgive prior to another’s repentance, or even awareness of fault. Forgiveness isn’t just indifference or waiving of penalties. It is the essence of love, and is felt in the soul. When we forgive, we replace our way of seeing and feeling with God’s way.
2. It may be that the most effective way to learn how to forgive — or repent, for that matter — is not to listen to explanations of the need to forgive or the steps of repentance, but rather to feel forgiveness. And, if we find it difficult to feel forgiveness in our own painful situations, we may be able to experience it in the lives and dilemmas of others.
3. Self-reflection is always an early step to healing, and forgiveness is the soul’s sweetest healing.
4. At the last day, we need to be able to say “Forgive me my debts, as I forgave my brother…Part of forgiveness is to help returning prodigals realize they are still wanted at the feast.”
5. “Forget the need to be right. Forgiveness rises above such thinking. Forgiveness really has very little to do with the other person; it is the invitation to change ourselves in a profound way and become more like the God we worship.” The key to forgiving others is to pray for compassion, for a change of heart to become more compassionate and pitying, as is the Lord. Part of the challenge is to change from being driven by the head and the ego-dominated emotions of the heart. Intellectually, justice may have a greater claim, but we are asked to forgive anyway. Pity or compassion does not necessarily have to be for the offender at first. It can be directed outward to souls like our own — hurt souls. The critical thing is to put something other than anger, humiliation, or resentment into our souls. Develop the hope that, when the time comes, you can say “I acknowledge I owe thee greatly, Lord, but no man owes me anything. All debts have been forgiven.” Wilcox says “I have a calm assurance that if we can reach that point of compassion and pity 'from the heart,' our own account-taking will be over."
6. Forgiveness does not mean everything necessarily remains the same. It does mean that one’s heart has been cleansed, even if or when continued association has ended. We start by feeling a moment of forgiveness for others, and even if we can’t maintain it, we felt it, and it can grow and expand in time.
7. It can be easier to forgive others than to turn that same compassion inward. We believe that God and Jesus will forgive others, and even that they can forgive us if they will, but we don’t think they will, and the stain seems to remain. In the prodigal son’s pleading to be accepted as his father’s servant, rather than as his son, there is humility, but a failure to truly understand forgiveness. One way to begin to forgive ourselves is to ask “What good has come out of my past failures,” as Joseph (of the many colored coat) did with his brothers in Egypt. Often the first good we find is wisdom…the fruit of the tree of knowledge of good and evil. Healing comes from recognizing the understanding, insight, and knowledge we have gained even from our bad choices, and giving up the ache that the mortal tutoring has cost us.
8. By the end of life, we will have been given many opportunities to practice the art of forgiveness. Ideally, we will gain compassion, wisdom, learn to bury our weapons, weep with family members, run to the prodigals, and release our debtors. However, some wounds may be so deep, for ourselves or for those we have wounded, that we find forgiveness nearly impossible. We must be firm in mind (Jacob 3:1-2) and spirit (Jacob 4:18), lest we stumble because of over-anxiety. In doing so, there may be value in seeking to forget before we forgive, rather than the more commonly heard reverse. When we think of injury, we hurt, and hurt leads us to want justice, and not mercy…so stop thinking about it. Push it away, replace it with other thoughts, as one should do with all unworthy thoughts.
9. What happens to us in the end is almost always less important than how we respond to what happens to us. The main question may not be what God is going to do about the evil and suffering in the world, but rather, “What am I going to do about it?”
This is one I will reflect upon often...and which I am sure will help me on my own journey toward forgiveness and developing a compassionate and forgiving nature. Highly recommended!
1. For our own spiritual health, forgiveness must exist independent of another’s position or actions. We may need to forgive prior to another’s repentance, or even awareness of fault. Forgiveness isn’t just indifference or waiving of penalties. It is the essence of love, and is felt in the soul. When we forgive, we replace our way of seeing and feeling with God’s way.
2. It may be that the most effective way to learn how to forgive — or repent, for that matter — is not to listen to explanations of the need to forgive or the steps of repentance, but rather to feel forgiveness. And, if we find it difficult to feel forgiveness in our own painful situations, we may be able to experience it in the lives and dilemmas of others.
3. Self-reflection is always an early step to healing, and forgiveness is the soul’s sweetest healing.
4. At the last day, we need to be able to say “Forgive me my debts, as I forgave my brother…Part of forgiveness is to help returning prodigals realize they are still wanted at the feast.”
5. “Forget the need to be right. Forgiveness rises above such thinking. Forgiveness really has very little to do with the other person; it is the invitation to change ourselves in a profound way and become more like the God we worship.” The key to forgiving others is to pray for compassion, for a change of heart to become more compassionate and pitying, as is the Lord. Part of the challenge is to change from being driven by the head and the ego-dominated emotions of the heart. Intellectually, justice may have a greater claim, but we are asked to forgive anyway. Pity or compassion does not necessarily have to be for the offender at first. It can be directed outward to souls like our own — hurt souls. The critical thing is to put something other than anger, humiliation, or resentment into our souls. Develop the hope that, when the time comes, you can say “I acknowledge I owe thee greatly, Lord, but no man owes me anything. All debts have been forgiven.” Wilcox says “I have a calm assurance that if we can reach that point of compassion and pity 'from the heart,' our own account-taking will be over."
6. Forgiveness does not mean everything necessarily remains the same. It does mean that one’s heart has been cleansed, even if or when continued association has ended. We start by feeling a moment of forgiveness for others, and even if we can’t maintain it, we felt it, and it can grow and expand in time.
7. It can be easier to forgive others than to turn that same compassion inward. We believe that God and Jesus will forgive others, and even that they can forgive us if they will, but we don’t think they will, and the stain seems to remain. In the prodigal son’s pleading to be accepted as his father’s servant, rather than as his son, there is humility, but a failure to truly understand forgiveness. One way to begin to forgive ourselves is to ask “What good has come out of my past failures,” as Joseph (of the many colored coat) did with his brothers in Egypt. Often the first good we find is wisdom…the fruit of the tree of knowledge of good and evil. Healing comes from recognizing the understanding, insight, and knowledge we have gained even from our bad choices, and giving up the ache that the mortal tutoring has cost us.
8. By the end of life, we will have been given many opportunities to practice the art of forgiveness. Ideally, we will gain compassion, wisdom, learn to bury our weapons, weep with family members, run to the prodigals, and release our debtors. However, some wounds may be so deep, for ourselves or for those we have wounded, that we find forgiveness nearly impossible. We must be firm in mind (Jacob 3:1-2) and spirit (Jacob 4:18), lest we stumble because of over-anxiety. In doing so, there may be value in seeking to forget before we forgive, rather than the more commonly heard reverse. When we think of injury, we hurt, and hurt leads us to want justice, and not mercy…so stop thinking about it. Push it away, replace it with other thoughts, as one should do with all unworthy thoughts.
9. What happens to us in the end is almost always less important than how we respond to what happens to us. The main question may not be what God is going to do about the evil and suffering in the world, but rather, “What am I going to do about it?”
This is one I will reflect upon often...and which I am sure will help me on my own journey toward forgiveness and developing a compassionate and forgiving nature. Highly recommended!
October 24, 2016
This book is made up of different stories and parables that describe forgiveness and what it means to forgive. It is titled twice blessed because as you forgive you receive blessings but you also receive blessings when you are forgiven. You are blessed twice or twice blessed. It explains that not only do we need to forgive we need to forget as well. I gives several examples of when people forgive and are blessed.
In this book it tells lots of stories about forgiveness. An example of one is the story of the prodigal son. This son was to inherit his fathers riches but when he got the inheritance he gambled and spent all is money. He was at the lowest he could be. He walked and approached his father who ran to him and cooked a giant calf for him. The father had forgiven his son and ran to him with open arms.
This book was a little bit confusing and hard to understand. I found myself having to go back and reread some parts. I liked the lesson it taught because in my opinion forgiveness is so important. One of my favorite quotes from the book is "The quality of mercy is not strained, it droppeth as the gentle rain from heaven upon the place beneath. It is twice blest."
In this book it tells lots of stories about forgiveness. An example of one is the story of the prodigal son. This son was to inherit his fathers riches but when he got the inheritance he gambled and spent all is money. He was at the lowest he could be. He walked and approached his father who ran to him and cooked a giant calf for him. The father had forgiven his son and ran to him with open arms.
This book was a little bit confusing and hard to understand. I found myself having to go back and reread some parts. I liked the lesson it taught because in my opinion forgiveness is so important. One of my favorite quotes from the book is "The quality of mercy is not strained, it droppeth as the gentle rain from heaven upon the place beneath. It is twice blest."
June 15, 2017
I am a huge S. Michael Wilcox fan but for some reason this book did not catch hold of me like his others. I did thoroughly enjoy the first chapter about Adam and Eve and some of the symbolism he brings to light about that particular story especially since this is the first instance of the need for forgiveness. There is much to learn from this first account if read figuratively instead of historically, as a nice story. The rest of the book was okay but not a favorite. Maybe it just wasn't something I'm needing at the moment.
December 27, 2016
The beauty of forgiving and forgiveness. The author helps us understand receiving forgiveness and forgiving; forgiving others, ourselves, and those that never sorrow for the pain and injury they perpetrate. He had some great insights about the latter. It's incredibly hard to forgive someone that isn't sorry, and continues to harm. I liked that he helped me understand how to breach the gap between knowing what I need to do, and knowing I can't do it.
March 14, 2017
An excellent book on forgiveness.
We will fall short of forgiveness in this life, as we strive to follow the Savior's example in this.
It is a daily quest and some experiences are much harder than others. It is the challenge of aligning your heart and mind together. We must always remember though that Christ was the Great Forgetter and so if we can't forgive at this moment we should at least strive to forget and move forward with love and compassion.
We will fall short of forgiveness in this life, as we strive to follow the Savior's example in this.
It is a daily quest and some experiences are much harder than others. It is the challenge of aligning your heart and mind together. We must always remember though that Christ was the Great Forgetter and so if we can't forgive at this moment we should at least strive to forget and move forward with love and compassion.
March 19, 2022
I really loved this book. It is a religious LDS view on forgiveness full of scriptural accounts. I loved the new perspective it gave me on stories from the scriptures that testify of the love, mercy, and compassion of Christ and God. If we receive that beautiful and powerful mercy from them, then we should share it with those we associate with. Definitely worth the read!
December 26, 2016
Forgiveness, one of the beautiful principles of the gospel, Michael Wilcox teaches us about how to find forgiveness and how to give it. Both are explained and examined with Michaels understanding of the scriptures. His way of teaching makes things so easy to understand.
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August 26, 2016Michael Wilcox has a way with words. This book explains all aspects of forgiveness, there are so many great insights. I loved this book!
June 11, 2019
I love this book! Brother Wilcox was a wonderful Institute teacher and he is one of my favorite authors too.
March 26, 2017
Deep and thought provoking. Some of it was difficult for me to follow, but I liked his thoughts on scripture stories and forgiveness.
Displaying 1 - 24 of 24 reviews