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Curio #1-6
Curio and the Curio Vignettes
This edition includes Curio, as well as the five follow-up Curio Vignettes—Coercion, Craving, Reversal, Confession and Exposure.
Caroly Evardt never expected to find herself patronizing a male prostitute. Then again, she never expected to be weeks from her thirtieth birthday and still a virgin.
When a friend mentions that a gorgeous male model in Paris sells his body as well as his image, Caroly's intrigued. Finally, a chance to sample the gifts of a beautiful man—no strings, no stakes, no fear of rejection.
But she soon discovers that Didier Pedra amounts to more than a striking face and talented body. He's a kind, charming, damaged man, and after a few evenings of pleasurable education, Caroly's interest blossoms into something far deeper than mere lust. Her simple arrangement is suddenly feeling downright dangerous…
Caroly Evardt never expected to find herself patronizing a male prostitute. Then again, she never expected to be weeks from her thirtieth birthday and still a virgin.
When a friend mentions that a gorgeous male model in Paris sells his body as well as his image, Caroly's intrigued. Finally, a chance to sample the gifts of a beautiful man—no strings, no stakes, no fear of rejection.
But she soon discovers that Didier Pedra amounts to more than a striking face and talented body. He's a kind, charming, damaged man, and after a few evenings of pleasurable education, Caroly's interest blossoms into something far deeper than mere lust. Her simple arrangement is suddenly feeling downright dangerous…
372 pages, ebook
First published February 16, 2015
35 people are currently reading
198 people want to read
About the author
Cara McKenna
41 books2,232 followersSince she began writing in 2008, Cara McKenna has published nearly forty romances and erotic novels with a variety of publishers, sometimes under the pen names Meg Maguire and C.M. McKenna. Her stories have been acclaimed for their smart, modern voice and defiance of convention. She was a 2015 RITA Award finalist, a 2014 RT Reviewers’ Choice Award winner, a 2012 and 2011 RT Reviewers’ Choice Award nominee, and a 2010 Golden Heart Award finalist. She lives with her husband and baby son in the Pacific Northwest, though she’ll always be a Boston girl at heart.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 45 reviews
August 25, 2022
Thank you, Cass for this wonderful recommendation.
This story is heartwarming, scintillating and overwhelmingly beautiful. She came to him to help her break out of her shell and she ended up freeing him from his own shackles.
Almost 30 and still a virgin, Caroly takes desperate measures to resolve this matter by hiring a beautiful prostitute.
But Didier’s beauty is far more than skin deep and too soon lines blur and their labels disappear.
An agoraphobic, Didier hasn’t left his garret in three years but when things come to their inevitable conclusion with Caroly, he decides to fight his demons;
“This morning I just realized it hurt more, missing you. More than it hurt to deal with the fear.”
Even when they become a couple, Didier remains a prostitute. Caroly not only doesn’t mind, she’s titillated by what he does with them. In contrast one of Didier’s draws to Caroly is the fact that no one has ever been with her but him.
As the story progresses, the two play out seductions as he would with clients. Starting with coercion, which is strongly laced with consensual non-consent.
Followed by Craving which was by far my favorite part when they played with his Pandora’s box of pleasure, stuffed full of toys.
Not only was it scintillating but it was also the most intimate.
These parts get better and better. In reversal Caroly takes the upper hand and controls all of Didier’s pleasure as she takes him with a glass dildo and paddles his ass. Holy smokes, so freaking hot!
While this has been an incredibly titillating story it’s also beautifully written with lyrical prose and lovely descriptions. The emotions that grow between these lovers is breathtaking and sweet.
It ends in a way that’s easy to imagine how their life together will unfold. In my mind I see nothing but love and happiness and perhaps other smaller hearts to share it with.
This story is heartwarming, scintillating and overwhelmingly beautiful. She came to him to help her break out of her shell and she ended up freeing him from his own shackles.
Almost 30 and still a virgin, Caroly takes desperate measures to resolve this matter by hiring a beautiful prostitute.
But Didier’s beauty is far more than skin deep and too soon lines blur and their labels disappear.
An agoraphobic, Didier hasn’t left his garret in three years but when things come to their inevitable conclusion with Caroly, he decides to fight his demons;
“This morning I just realized it hurt more, missing you. More than it hurt to deal with the fear.”
Even when they become a couple, Didier remains a prostitute. Caroly not only doesn’t mind, she’s titillated by what he does with them. In contrast one of Didier’s draws to Caroly is the fact that no one has ever been with her but him.
As the story progresses, the two play out seductions as he would with clients. Starting with coercion, which is strongly laced with consensual non-consent.
Followed by Craving which was by far my favorite part when they played with his Pandora’s box of pleasure, stuffed full of toys.
Not only was it scintillating but it was also the most intimate.
These parts get better and better. In reversal Caroly takes the upper hand and controls all of Didier’s pleasure as she takes him with a glass dildo and paddles his ass. Holy smokes, so freaking hot!
While this has been an incredibly titillating story it’s also beautifully written with lyrical prose and lovely descriptions. The emotions that grow between these lovers is breathtaking and sweet.
It ends in a way that’s easy to imagine how their life together will unfold. In my mind I see nothing but love and happiness and perhaps other smaller hearts to share it with.
characters-who-cheated-ugh
June 11, 2022Read Rain's review for details , meanwhile , here are some from me-
🅾29 y/o VIRGIN h.
🅾h with self-esteem issues.
🅾Escort H , former male model.
🅾The H is NOT alpha , he is soft.
🅾The H and h when start liking each other, they DO NOT GO EXCLUSIVE.
🅾HE IS WITH OTHERS AFTER HE IS WITH HER.(STD😡🤢)
🅾Although , there's no intimate scene with OP.
🅾But , he CLEARLY says, "Yours not the only bed I sleep in and you are not the only one I touch , kiss everyday."
🅾Mind you , that the H is drawn to her unlike anyone he has to been before.
🅾And the h is drawn , very much , too.
🅾29 y/o VIRGIN h.
🅾h with self-esteem issues.
🅾Escort H , former male model.
🅾The H is NOT alpha , he is soft.
🅾The H and h when start liking each other, they DO NOT GO EXCLUSIVE.
🅾HE IS WITH OTHERS AFTER HE IS WITH HER.(STD😡🤢)
🅾Although , there's no intimate scene with OP.
🅾But , he CLEARLY says, "Yours not the only bed I sleep in and you are not the only one I touch , kiss everyday."
🅾Mind you , that the H is drawn to her unlike anyone he has to been before.
🅾And the h is drawn , very much , too.
May 1, 2023
Hero is a literal whore and fucks other women after meeting heroine. Life is too short for this kind of soul cancer
April 29, 2023
This is the complete series of the books/novellas listed below:
Book one: Curio
Book two: Coercion
Book three: Craving
Book four: Reversal
Book five: Confession
Book six: Exposure
**3.5** As much as I love Cara McKenna’s writing, this was a tough one for me to finish. It’s emotional, but also lacking in the kind of story that I’m used to from her. As strange as it may be, there was too much sex in this story.
Didier is a 30-something male prostitute. He used to be a model, and that gig slowly morphed into his current job. He’s stunningly gorgeous, with a very quiet, gentle demeanor. I actually really liked his character, despite the fact that he’s not the usual ‘alpha’ male. He’s more of a flowing-river-masculine, rather than mountain-man-masculine.
Caroly is a 29-year-old American virgin, she’s been working in Paris for two years. She’s incredibly picky with the men she wants, and also simultaneously fearing she won’t be enough for them. So she picks no one. She decides to hire Didier to help her with her virginity issue. I actually enjoyed this set-up and initial few meetings between the characters. It’s sensual, really sweet, and steamy.
Caroly’s superficial attitude was irritating. Even as the book progressed, she doesn’t change her tune and that really bothered me. She’s using Didier because he’s gorgeous, he’s a shiny toy to be had and shared. He’s a pretty bird, in a pretty cage.
These two are a strange dichotomy. He loves that she is a virgin. That he is her first everything, he gets off on it. And she can’t stop admiring his looks, neither one of them going more than surface deep. Even after their ‘relationship’ takes a turn, he continues his sex work.
Overall, I would say that I did enjoy the story but didn’t love it. McKenna does delve into their psyche towards the end, so there is depth there. Maybe I just didn’t like these two characters together? Maybe I felt like how he overcame his issues was glossed over?
Side note, I really liked the symbolism in Didier's fascination with old broken watches and clocks. He takes them apart, spends so much time trying to clean them up and fix them. Exactly how he feels about himself.
Book one: Curio
Book two: Coercion
Book three: Craving
Book four: Reversal
Book five: Confession
Book six: Exposure
**3.5** As much as I love Cara McKenna’s writing, this was a tough one for me to finish. It’s emotional, but also lacking in the kind of story that I’m used to from her. As strange as it may be, there was too much sex in this story.
Didier is a 30-something male prostitute. He used to be a model, and that gig slowly morphed into his current job. He’s stunningly gorgeous, with a very quiet, gentle demeanor. I actually really liked his character, despite the fact that he’s not the usual ‘alpha’ male. He’s more of a flowing-river-masculine, rather than mountain-man-masculine.
Caroly is a 29-year-old American virgin, she’s been working in Paris for two years. She’s incredibly picky with the men she wants, and also simultaneously fearing she won’t be enough for them. So she picks no one. She decides to hire Didier to help her with her virginity issue. I actually enjoyed this set-up and initial few meetings between the characters. It’s sensual, really sweet, and steamy.
Caroly’s superficial attitude was irritating. Even as the book progressed, she doesn’t change her tune and that really bothered me. She’s using Didier because he’s gorgeous, he’s a shiny toy to be had and shared. He’s a pretty bird, in a pretty cage.
These two are a strange dichotomy. He loves that she is a virgin. That he is her first everything, he gets off on it. And she can’t stop admiring his looks, neither one of them going more than surface deep. Even after their ‘relationship’ takes a turn, he continues his sex work.
“You’re not the only woman I kiss or flatter or take to bed,” This bed, where we lie now. My bed, hers, and yet so many others.Oddly enough, and sometimes really cringy, Caroly wants to hear the details about his ‘clients’ and they act those scenes out together. She doesn’t mind sharing his body with others, and that starts to bother him.
Overall, I would say that I did enjoy the story but didn’t love it. McKenna does delve into their psyche towards the end, so there is depth there. Maybe I just didn’t like these two characters together? Maybe I felt like how he overcame his issues was glossed over?
Side note, I really liked the symbolism in Didier's fascination with old broken watches and clocks. He takes them apart, spends so much time trying to clean them up and fix them. Exactly how he feels about himself.
February 13, 2017
4.5 stars
Wonderful collection of stories, that really work best just read straight as a novel. What a story that built and built. There are no side characters and I loved the connection, the emotions and the heat. Another excellent offering from Cara McKenna.
Wonderful collection of stories, that really work best just read straight as a novel. What a story that built and built. There are no side characters and I loved the connection, the emotions and the heat. Another excellent offering from Cara McKenna.
September 6, 2020
Every now & again you find yourself immersed in a book and you know that you're a very lucky reader. The prose flows like good whiskey, characters develop meaningfully before your eyes and events go from one high to another...and you know that you're in the hands of an artist. Not just an author, but an artist. Cara McKenna is like that for me. I can just settle down in her books and trust her to take me on a ride with substance and nuance.
Reading the book blurb, I wouldn't expect to like this book. If it were any other author, I'm not sure I would have even attempted it. A woman nearing 30 years old is a virgin. She learns that one of the most handsome, drop-dead gorgeous male models is now a prostitute and she purposes to give her virginity to him. That's the basis of the book, but what Cara McKenna does with it is a thing of beauty. Over time (as it should be) a relationship develops between the two and eventually they become exclusive, with the exception of his clients, of course. It really is a story of redemption, for him and her both. They both come from such a shallow, narrow little living and bloom into a full, satisfying life. I love this author and she's proven why once again.
Reading the book blurb, I wouldn't expect to like this book. If it were any other author, I'm not sure I would have even attempted it. A woman nearing 30 years old is a virgin. She learns that one of the most handsome, drop-dead gorgeous male models is now a prostitute and she purposes to give her virginity to him. That's the basis of the book, but what Cara McKenna does with it is a thing of beauty. Over time (as it should be) a relationship develops between the two and eventually they become exclusive, with the exception of his clients, of course. It really is a story of redemption, for him and her both. They both come from such a shallow, narrow little living and bloom into a full, satisfying life. I love this author and she's proven why once again.
September 24, 2020
This book was like the equivalence of taking a very long, very hot bath. With candles. And bubbles. And also, in France while looking at the Eiffel Tower out the window. It was luxurious and slow and I am absolutely in love.
Cara Mckenna's writing is beyond beautiful- she has the ability to submerge me in another time and place regardless of what is going on around me, and we could all use some of that right now, I think. Truly a masterpiece of a book.
Also, my Didier:
Cara Mckenna's writing is beyond beautiful- she has the ability to submerge me in another time and place regardless of what is going on around me, and we could all use some of that right now, I think. Truly a masterpiece of a book.
Also, my Didier:
October 23, 2025
I'm glad that I got the audiobook that included the entire "Curio" collection, because if I just stopped at the first novella, I would've rated this completely differently. I felt like that one was an exercise in secondhand embarrassment for me, but the follow-up novellas completely turned my opinion around.
One thing that I appreciate about this author is that she writes pretty realistically, about how complicated people (and their pain) can be, and how love works around that. I tend to prefer stories with complicated characters, because it feels closer to real life than some two-dimensional, predictable, cheese-fest. Granted, I've only read two other books of hers, but I absolutely loved her book "Unbound," so I was nervous when I got to the end of the first novella, because I thought the rest would be more of the same.
However, the succeeding novellas are what turned this story from feeling like an almost "Hallmark-y" fantasy, into something that was interesting, complex, and profound. After the first novella, the story shifted to focus on Didier and his anxiety and agoraphobia, and the two main characters trying to organically build a relationship, while trying to navigate around his disorder, as well as around issues surrounding his profession. The way the author was able to articulate the complexities of Didier's extreme anxiety and agoraphobia felt realistic, speaking as someone who has dealt with some of the same things, at various points in my life.
That passage, in particular, struck me as a profoundly accurate description of how extreme anxiety can leave you completely paralyzed, and will often have you behaving in ways that allow you to avoid dealing with the discomfort of it, at all costs. Even when you know that avoidance will not solve the issue, and will make your life even harder.
Something else I loved about this book was how beautiful the prose was. It seemed much more poetic, almost flowery, at times (but NOT in a cringey, over-the-top way), than some of the author's other books, but it really seemed to fit the characters well, especially during Didier's chapters, considering how introspective and sensitive (and French, haha) he was. The audiobook narrator for this also did a great job of conveying the quiet natures of both characters.
This was definitely a case of judging a book way too soon, and ending up grateful that I stuck it out, rather than DNF'ing it. If you find yourself feeling kind of "meh" about the first novella, do what I should have done, and trust in the author and in her process. I'm sad that Cara McKenna seems to have stopped publishing, because she definitely knows how to write a good story.
One thing that I appreciate about this author is that she writes pretty realistically, about how complicated people (and their pain) can be, and how love works around that. I tend to prefer stories with complicated characters, because it feels closer to real life than some two-dimensional, predictable, cheese-fest. Granted, I've only read two other books of hers, but I absolutely loved her book "Unbound," so I was nervous when I got to the end of the first novella, because I thought the rest would be more of the same.
However, the succeeding novellas are what turned this story from feeling like an almost "Hallmark-y" fantasy, into something that was interesting, complex, and profound. After the first novella, the story shifted to focus on Didier and his anxiety and agoraphobia, and the two main characters trying to organically build a relationship, while trying to navigate around his disorder, as well as around issues surrounding his profession. The way the author was able to articulate the complexities of Didier's extreme anxiety and agoraphobia felt realistic, speaking as someone who has dealt with some of the same things, at various points in my life.
I picture my hutch, lined with its watches and clocks and other wind up treasures. They glitter like liquor bottles, I realize. I hide inside them as an alcoholic might, numbing and procrastinating, and telling myself "tomorrow." Always, "tomorrow, I'll be a better man," but I've let tomorrows gather like bricks-- three years worth. If I keep going that way, I'll wake some morning and find this garret stacked dark and tight and airless as a crypt. No room for Caroly, no room for anything, but me and that cabinet. Give it enough time, and no one will come knocking anymore. Or if they do, my walls will have grown too thick to hear.
That passage, in particular, struck me as a profoundly accurate description of how extreme anxiety can leave you completely paralyzed, and will often have you behaving in ways that allow you to avoid dealing with the discomfort of it, at all costs. Even when you know that avoidance will not solve the issue, and will make your life even harder.
Something else I loved about this book was how beautiful the prose was. It seemed much more poetic, almost flowery, at times (but NOT in a cringey, over-the-top way), than some of the author's other books, but it really seemed to fit the characters well, especially during Didier's chapters, considering how introspective and sensitive (and French, haha) he was. The audiobook narrator for this also did a great job of conveying the quiet natures of both characters.
This was definitely a case of judging a book way too soon, and ending up grateful that I stuck it out, rather than DNF'ing it. If you find yourself feeling kind of "meh" about the first novella, do what I should have done, and trust in the author and in her process. I'm sad that Cara McKenna seems to have stopped publishing, because she definitely knows how to write a good story.
September 1, 2020
Dove into this erotic romance gem after a friend recommended it over and over again--and oh my sighing word, am I grateful for her persistence. Wow. Just...wow.
Anyone who knows me well can vouch for the fact that Ms. McKenna already had my heart at the glorious and romantic Parisien setting--but she snared my soul with Didier, a hero I'll remember for the rest of my days. He's beautiful beyond words, alluringly honest and breath-robbingly seductive--but is hiding a secret that I've never before seen in any character, let alone the hero of a romance novel. This added element is what edges the story into something so different and unique, it haunted me when I didn't have my nose buried in it. I truly loved that the author gave Didier a worthy partner in Caroly: a self-described "average girl" who proves herself to be so much more by not just accepting Didier, secret weakness all, but taking the brave, bold steps to help him with it. In short, she's the "every woman" we all relate, but also aspire to be.
For me, the heart of this love story wasn't in its "big moments" or iconic scenes, but in all the little details that strung those things together. The ins and outs of a relationship in the fabric of its day-to-day essence. Turning those "normal" elements--card games, rain storms, dinner conversation, even roosting doves on Parisien rooftops--into the stuff of real romance takes a writer beyond compare, and a craftswoman who knows her characters inside and out.
Such an unforgettable read. I'm fully smitten, and truly hope there will be more of Didier and Caroly soon!
Anyone who knows me well can vouch for the fact that Ms. McKenna already had my heart at the glorious and romantic Parisien setting--but she snared my soul with Didier, a hero I'll remember for the rest of my days. He's beautiful beyond words, alluringly honest and breath-robbingly seductive--but is hiding a secret that I've never before seen in any character, let alone the hero of a romance novel. This added element is what edges the story into something so different and unique, it haunted me when I didn't have my nose buried in it. I truly loved that the author gave Didier a worthy partner in Caroly: a self-described "average girl" who proves herself to be so much more by not just accepting Didier, secret weakness all, but taking the brave, bold steps to help him with it. In short, she's the "every woman" we all relate, but also aspire to be.
For me, the heart of this love story wasn't in its "big moments" or iconic scenes, but in all the little details that strung those things together. The ins and outs of a relationship in the fabric of its day-to-day essence. Turning those "normal" elements--card games, rain storms, dinner conversation, even roosting doves on Parisien rooftops--into the stuff of real romance takes a writer beyond compare, and a craftswoman who knows her characters inside and out.
Such an unforgettable read. I'm fully smitten, and truly hope there will be more of Didier and Caroly soon!
April 24, 2018
I'm a sucker for good writing and this book properly fed my affliction (so many highlights!). Interesting premise - I'll admit I'm more than a little fascinated by the whole 'flesh-peddlers need love too' trope. A little long-winded and repetitive at times but the pretty prose made up for it.
September 3, 2024
A disappointment. The last part was unnecessary. No conflict to solve. It all went pretty smoothly. She really had no qualms about him continuing his work and dating her.
August 8, 2023
Ci avrò messo un mese, tra intermezzi di altre letture, ma ce l’ho fatta.
È stata un’impresa e non perché il libro sia una schifezza. Lo stile non mi ha aiutata, ma il “problema” è stato un altro.
La premessa che dà il via alla storia è che la protagonista, Caroly, è sulla soglia dei 30 anni e non è mai stata con un uomo. Vuole rimediare e le si presenta un’occasione perfetta: Didier, un gigolò conosciuto come modello per alcuni artisti della galleria d’arte in cui lavora.
Di fatto però è una storia sull’ansia, mascherata da novelle erotiche.
E io soffro di ansia.
Inizia a capirsi meglio l’ostacolo?
“I’ve never been good at basking in the moment. Anxiety’s always had me squinting into the distance, scanning for threatening shadows.”
Un altro ostacolo, meno interiore, è stato il formato: questa edizione che ho letto raccoglie la novella che dà il nome alla serie, più altre 5 sequel che seguono l’evolversi della relazione tra Caroly e Didier nell’arco di sette mesi. Non ci sono cliffhanger, dopo la prima novella non c’è stato più un reale motivo di tensione che mi trascinasse avanti nella lettura perché le altre novelle sono “vignette” (come le chiama l’autrice stessa) sparse nel tempo, è tutto molto rilassato, e quindi procedere è stata una decisione volontaria ogni singola volta che ho aperto il kindle.
Un po’ come le scelte che fanno Caroly e Didier durante le varie novelle.
Ma provo a dare una struttura a questa recensione, perché il rischio che mi sfugga di mano è altissimo.
Prima di tutto: le mie novelle preferite sono state senza dubbio la prima e la quarta, per ragioni simili.
Entrambe sono quelle con la vena femdom più forte.
Sorpresa…????
“When sexual pleasure loses its mutuality, that’s when the fear and the trust emerge. That’s real intimacy. To me.”
Ho conosciuto “Curio” attraverso il podcast Fated Mates e mi aveva colpito proprio il modo in cui una delle presentatrici descriveva la dinamica tra Caroly e Didier, con lui che lasciava le redini in mano sua, perché fosse lei a esplorarlo e ad esplorare la sua stessa sessualità, al ritmo giusto per lei.
Fantastico, è quello che cerco in questo genere di storie! Nel sex work c’è una dinamica di potere in atto e per me diventa seriamente interessante quando è una donna a esercitare quel potere: perché una donna non dovrebbe pagare per del sesso, non dovrebbe desiderarlo al punto da andare da un professionista (ma va benissimo ottenerlo in cambio di una relazione monogama –ah l’ipocrisia di questa società 🙄), non dovrebbe avere problemi con gli uomini e se li ha è lei sbagliata.
Ebbene, la prima novella copre l’arco della dinamica cliente-sex worker tra Caroly e Didier, con Caroly che inizia ad attaccare le sue ansie e la scoperta dell’ansia di lui (non specifico che forma prende), e un primo passo in una nuova direzione.
“Distracting yourself and hiding just puts the pain on pause. It doesn’t actually go away.”
La quarta novella si chiama “Reversal” e dalle hint nelle novelle precedenti speravo tantissimo che significasse quello che speravo, ma allo stesso tempo ero cauta nel sperarci troppo perché ho imparato a tenere basse le aspettative quando si tratta di certe pratiche.
Invece, in questo caso, ho avuto quel che speravo: pegging e sottomissione!
Che gioia, che soddisfazione, e quanto ci stava bene? Didier ha di per sé una forte vena di sottomesso, non per il suo carattere né per la sua professione, ma per il suo desiderio costante di servire (su cui però apro una riflessione più avanti), e quindi non mi sono mai sentita del tutto a mio agio quando, in altre novelle, sfoggiava atteggiamenti e pensieri dominanti (corredati di termini come “masculine”, “man” e altri codici per informare le lettrici possibilmente allarmate per la mascolinità del book-boyfriend di turno che non c’è nulla di cui preoccuparsi, Didier è Maschio™ anche se non fa lo scimmione alfa della situazione!!! Non vedo l’ora che non ci sia più bisogno di queste rassicurazioni…).
Vedere Caroly prendere il comando, perché ha notato la tendenza di Didier a dimenticare il suo piacere per quello delle partner, è stato fantastico, ma mai quanto vedere lui crollare un pezzo alla volta di fronte a questa attenzione per lui e per i suoi bisogni.
Al di là dei gusti personali e della pratica in sé, il pegging nelle storie mi attira perché offre la possibilità di smantellare quell’idea di maschile che penetra, che viola, che invade, possiede, conquista, che ha il perfetto controllo della situazione e quando lo perde quel controllo, è comunque in una posizione dominante e carica di violenza. Non è una questione di rivalsa, di “””fare a loro quel che hanno fatto a noi”””, ma di permettere anche a “loro” qualcosa che non gli è concessa, un abbandono e una vulnerabilità che rende umani e sfaccettati (per fare un collegamento con un’altra storia che ho amato: KEEEEEEN).
È questo che mi è piaciuto tanto di questa novella, che anche un uomo con una relazione più sana con la sua mascolinità abbia potuto fare quel passo mancante che non si era permesso di fare prima.
E questo passo ha effetti rivoluzionari sulla sua ansia.
“Everyone else, they love me as some pet. They want me fed and happy and warm, safe in a pretty cage, always waiting right where they expect me to be.”
Mentre leggevo, ho commentato –non troppo ironicamente– sui benefici del pegging, che in realtà a livello narrativo sono i benefici di una serie di azioni che compiono insieme Caroly e Didier. Il primo passo lo fa lui, con grande fatica, e poi è lei a incoraggiarlo in quella che è a tutti gli effetti exposure therapy, finché anche lui non si rende conto di come si sia intrappolato e non si sia lasciato intrappolare dai suoi amici e le sue clienti, e fa altri enormi passi avanti.
Essendo queste novelle erotiche, è il sesso a giocare un ruolo fondamentale nell’evoluzione dei personaggi ed è il luogo in cui avvengono le principali trasformazioni che poi si riverberano anche al di fuori della sfera sessuale. Nella terza novella inizia a muoversi qualcosa con l’utilizzo di plug da parte di entrambi, ma è con il pegging nella quarta novella che c’è il più grosso cambiamento. Perché finalmente Didier si trova faccia a faccia con i suoi desideri, si vede rispettato e celebrato per questi, assecondato in modo più sano rispetto a come è stato assecondato da chi ha favorito la sua ansia. Smette di sentirsi un animaletto domestico da tenere nella gabbietta e ha il primo vero assaggio della libertà che lo aspetta.
Il tutto per un dildo nel 🍑: non è poetico? :D
“I guess I don’t want to settle for a man who isn’t really, truly attractive to me. But I’m afraid to try to date those guys, because I’m afraid I’ll find out I’m not enough for them. It’s always been easier and less scary to just not take the chance.”
Parlando dei personaggi, questa è una storia di ansia anche per quella che prova Caroly nella prima novella nei confronti degli uomini e del sesso. Non uomini qualsiasi, perché a Caroly piacciono solo gli uomini belli belli in modo assurdo e non si è mai sentita né continua a sentirsi alla loro altezza, perché troppo sgraziata, spigolosa nel corpo, poco attraente.
Durante la prima novella, la sua psicologia è descritta in modo molto realistico, mai banale. La sua ansia le impedisce di godersi i momenti “educativi” con Didier, la fa sentire più a suo agio come voyeur che come parte attiva, e nelle sue stesse fantasie Caroly non si vede mai, perché teme un rifiuto anche lì.
Ometterei un fattore di apprezzamento importante non dicessi che capisco tantissimo da dove viene e le ansie che la attanagliano, è anche questo ad avermi fatto amare tanto la prima novella.
Quel che ho adorato è anche che tutto questo non è visto come “anormale” né dalla narrazione (che è pov Caroly, ma rischiava di esserlo lo stesso) né da Didier. Anzi, trovo che il rapporto di Caroly con la sua sessualità sia approcciato in modo molto delicato, attento e –ripeto– per nulla banale.
“Perhaps my need for the predictable is just a lie I’ve been fed by my disorder. Perhaps it really is people I fear, more than the unknown and the open.”
Dal suo canto, Didier non è un noiosissimo maschio dominante tutto d’un pezzo, ma con il passato tormentato per dare l’illusione di essere umano. Lui ha un passato apparentemente normale, ma un’ansia devastante che lo tiene prigioniero.
Si è creato una vita che gli permette di restare nella sua comfort zone, ma è un essere umano squisito, gentile e premuroso. Si capisce perché le sue clienti si fidino di lui, perché si lascino andare e gli permettano di far loro cose che non permetterebbero a nessun altro, perché Caroly si innamori di lui dopo una vita passata a temere gli uomini belli come Didier, a sentirsi inadeguata a loro, indegna della loro attenzione al punto che non ha nemmeno provato a cercarla finché non ha avuto la possibilità di un approccio a un uomo del genere in una situazione in cui non ci sarebbe stato un rifiuto verso di lei come donna e in cui lei avrebbe avuto il potere in mano per renderla meno vulnerabile.
Allo stesso tempo, però, Didier ha zittito i suoi bisogni e i suoi desideri per diventare quello che le sue amanti desiderano (lo ripete più volte ed è doloroso da sentire). Come non vedere un parallelismo con quel che ci si aspetta dalle donne? Tutte, non solo le sex worker, ma anche chi tecnicamente non fa lo stesso mestiere (e qui penso a Despentes e la sua analisi letale del matrimonio etero): non devi avere tuoi desideri, devi servire quelli del Tuo Uomo™, perché sotto sotto le donne non hanno desideri, vogliono solo servire e sottomettersi, quindi non stiamo lì a chiederci troppo che vogliono (e se esprimono desideri, SHAME SHAME SHAME). Grazie epoca vittoriana per aver raggiunto queste vette di delirio (per fortuna che poi sono nate invenzioni interessanti, buzz buzz buzzzzzzzz :D)
“Take. Not an easy order. Not when I’ve spent all these years only giving.”
A questo punto sorge una domanda: se certe tematiche mi sono piaciute tanto, perché non ho dato cinque stelle?
Lo stile è quello che ha pesato di più sul mio apprezzamento.
Il ritmo è lento, i dialoghi scarni quando si tratta di scambi “quotidiani” e abbinati a lunghe introspezioni hanno reso tutto piuttosto soporifero, e non solo perché il mese in cui l’ho letto è stato travagliato pov personale e il sonno ne ha risentito parecchio.
È una questione di gusti e a me piace non accorgermi dello stile non cui è scritta una storia perché si amalgama così bene con personaggi e trama che li valorizza e mi aiuta a godermeli meglio. In questo caso, ho dovuto scorrere velocemente certi passaggi (spesso le lunghe riflessioni durante lo stantuffo, che già per me è un momento noioso) perché finiva che continuavo a leggerli e rileggerli e non procedere.
Poi c’è stata questa corrente di “quanto vorrei non usare il preservativo” che, personalmente, mi mette a disagio a livello inconscio e per quanto abbia capito perché sia stata inserita, e il suo significato per la storia, non vuol dire che io debba apprezzarla. Dopotutto questa recensione è un mio parere personale e se un dettaglio pregiudica il mio apprezzamento spensierato della storia è giusto segnalarlo ;)
Infine, ha frenato il fangirling il modo in cui Didier pensava e ripensava che Caroly non era stata con un altro uomo al di fuori di lui: sul serio, Didi, proprio tu questi pensieri? 🙄
“I’m different now than I was even a month ago. Even I feel like I’m meeting me for the first time.”
Un altro erotico che è stato più un viaggio emotivo e interiore che altro: do I notice a pattern? Sono io che li cerco col lanternino o sono davvero tutti così?
Lo scoprirò solo leggendone altri 😬
È stata un’impresa e non perché il libro sia una schifezza. Lo stile non mi ha aiutata, ma il “problema” è stato un altro.
La premessa che dà il via alla storia è che la protagonista, Caroly, è sulla soglia dei 30 anni e non è mai stata con un uomo. Vuole rimediare e le si presenta un’occasione perfetta: Didier, un gigolò conosciuto come modello per alcuni artisti della galleria d’arte in cui lavora.
Di fatto però è una storia sull’ansia, mascherata da novelle erotiche.
E io soffro di ansia.
Inizia a capirsi meglio l’ostacolo?
“I’ve never been good at basking in the moment. Anxiety’s always had me squinting into the distance, scanning for threatening shadows.”
Un altro ostacolo, meno interiore, è stato il formato: questa edizione che ho letto raccoglie la novella che dà il nome alla serie, più altre 5 sequel che seguono l’evolversi della relazione tra Caroly e Didier nell’arco di sette mesi. Non ci sono cliffhanger, dopo la prima novella non c’è stato più un reale motivo di tensione che mi trascinasse avanti nella lettura perché le altre novelle sono “vignette” (come le chiama l’autrice stessa) sparse nel tempo, è tutto molto rilassato, e quindi procedere è stata una decisione volontaria ogni singola volta che ho aperto il kindle.
Un po’ come le scelte che fanno Caroly e Didier durante le varie novelle.
Ma provo a dare una struttura a questa recensione, perché il rischio che mi sfugga di mano è altissimo.
Prima di tutto: le mie novelle preferite sono state senza dubbio la prima e la quarta, per ragioni simili.
Entrambe sono quelle con la vena femdom più forte.
Sorpresa…????
“When sexual pleasure loses its mutuality, that’s when the fear and the trust emerge. That’s real intimacy. To me.”
Ho conosciuto “Curio” attraverso il podcast Fated Mates e mi aveva colpito proprio il modo in cui una delle presentatrici descriveva la dinamica tra Caroly e Didier, con lui che lasciava le redini in mano sua, perché fosse lei a esplorarlo e ad esplorare la sua stessa sessualità, al ritmo giusto per lei.
Fantastico, è quello che cerco in questo genere di storie! Nel sex work c’è una dinamica di potere in atto e per me diventa seriamente interessante quando è una donna a esercitare quel potere: perché una donna non dovrebbe pagare per del sesso, non dovrebbe desiderarlo al punto da andare da un professionista (ma va benissimo ottenerlo in cambio di una relazione monogama –ah l’ipocrisia di questa società 🙄), non dovrebbe avere problemi con gli uomini e se li ha è lei sbagliata.
Ebbene, la prima novella copre l’arco della dinamica cliente-sex worker tra Caroly e Didier, con Caroly che inizia ad attaccare le sue ansie e la scoperta dell’ansia di lui (non specifico che forma prende), e un primo passo in una nuova direzione.
“Distracting yourself and hiding just puts the pain on pause. It doesn’t actually go away.”
La quarta novella si chiama “Reversal” e dalle hint nelle novelle precedenti speravo tantissimo che significasse quello che speravo, ma allo stesso tempo ero cauta nel sperarci troppo perché ho imparato a tenere basse le aspettative quando si tratta di certe pratiche.
Invece, in questo caso, ho avuto quel che speravo: pegging e sottomissione!
Che gioia, che soddisfazione, e quanto ci stava bene? Didier ha di per sé una forte vena di sottomesso, non per il suo carattere né per la sua professione, ma per il suo desiderio costante di servire (su cui però apro una riflessione più avanti), e quindi non mi sono mai sentita del tutto a mio agio quando, in altre novelle, sfoggiava atteggiamenti e pensieri dominanti (corredati di termini come “masculine”, “man” e altri codici per informare le lettrici possibilmente allarmate per la mascolinità del book-boyfriend di turno che non c’è nulla di cui preoccuparsi, Didier è Maschio™ anche se non fa lo scimmione alfa della situazione!!! Non vedo l’ora che non ci sia più bisogno di queste rassicurazioni…).
Vedere Caroly prendere il comando, perché ha notato la tendenza di Didier a dimenticare il suo piacere per quello delle partner, è stato fantastico, ma mai quanto vedere lui crollare un pezzo alla volta di fronte a questa attenzione per lui e per i suoi bisogni.
Al di là dei gusti personali e della pratica in sé, il pegging nelle storie mi attira perché offre la possibilità di smantellare quell’idea di maschile che penetra, che viola, che invade, possiede, conquista, che ha il perfetto controllo della situazione e quando lo perde quel controllo, è comunque in una posizione dominante e carica di violenza. Non è una questione di rivalsa, di “””fare a loro quel che hanno fatto a noi”””, ma di permettere anche a “loro” qualcosa che non gli è concessa, un abbandono e una vulnerabilità che rende umani e sfaccettati (per fare un collegamento con un’altra storia che ho amato: KEEEEEEN).
È questo che mi è piaciuto tanto di questa novella, che anche un uomo con una relazione più sana con la sua mascolinità abbia potuto fare quel passo mancante che non si era permesso di fare prima.
E questo passo ha effetti rivoluzionari sulla sua ansia.
“Everyone else, they love me as some pet. They want me fed and happy and warm, safe in a pretty cage, always waiting right where they expect me to be.”
Mentre leggevo, ho commentato –non troppo ironicamente– sui benefici del pegging, che in realtà a livello narrativo sono i benefici di una serie di azioni che compiono insieme Caroly e Didier. Il primo passo lo fa lui, con grande fatica, e poi è lei a incoraggiarlo in quella che è a tutti gli effetti exposure therapy, finché anche lui non si rende conto di come si sia intrappolato e non si sia lasciato intrappolare dai suoi amici e le sue clienti, e fa altri enormi passi avanti.
Essendo queste novelle erotiche, è il sesso a giocare un ruolo fondamentale nell’evoluzione dei personaggi ed è il luogo in cui avvengono le principali trasformazioni che poi si riverberano anche al di fuori della sfera sessuale. Nella terza novella inizia a muoversi qualcosa con l’utilizzo di plug da parte di entrambi, ma è con il pegging nella quarta novella che c’è il più grosso cambiamento. Perché finalmente Didier si trova faccia a faccia con i suoi desideri, si vede rispettato e celebrato per questi, assecondato in modo più sano rispetto a come è stato assecondato da chi ha favorito la sua ansia. Smette di sentirsi un animaletto domestico da tenere nella gabbietta e ha il primo vero assaggio della libertà che lo aspetta.
Il tutto per un dildo nel 🍑: non è poetico? :D
“I guess I don’t want to settle for a man who isn’t really, truly attractive to me. But I’m afraid to try to date those guys, because I’m afraid I’ll find out I’m not enough for them. It’s always been easier and less scary to just not take the chance.”
Parlando dei personaggi, questa è una storia di ansia anche per quella che prova Caroly nella prima novella nei confronti degli uomini e del sesso. Non uomini qualsiasi, perché a Caroly piacciono solo gli uomini belli belli in modo assurdo e non si è mai sentita né continua a sentirsi alla loro altezza, perché troppo sgraziata, spigolosa nel corpo, poco attraente.
Durante la prima novella, la sua psicologia è descritta in modo molto realistico, mai banale. La sua ansia le impedisce di godersi i momenti “educativi” con Didier, la fa sentire più a suo agio come voyeur che come parte attiva, e nelle sue stesse fantasie Caroly non si vede mai, perché teme un rifiuto anche lì.
Ometterei un fattore di apprezzamento importante non dicessi che capisco tantissimo da dove viene e le ansie che la attanagliano, è anche questo ad avermi fatto amare tanto la prima novella.
Quel che ho adorato è anche che tutto questo non è visto come “anormale” né dalla narrazione (che è pov Caroly, ma rischiava di esserlo lo stesso) né da Didier. Anzi, trovo che il rapporto di Caroly con la sua sessualità sia approcciato in modo molto delicato, attento e –ripeto– per nulla banale.
“Perhaps my need for the predictable is just a lie I’ve been fed by my disorder. Perhaps it really is people I fear, more than the unknown and the open.”
Dal suo canto, Didier non è un noiosissimo maschio dominante tutto d’un pezzo, ma con il passato tormentato per dare l’illusione di essere umano. Lui ha un passato apparentemente normale, ma un’ansia devastante che lo tiene prigioniero.
Si è creato una vita che gli permette di restare nella sua comfort zone, ma è un essere umano squisito, gentile e premuroso. Si capisce perché le sue clienti si fidino di lui, perché si lascino andare e gli permettano di far loro cose che non permetterebbero a nessun altro, perché Caroly si innamori di lui dopo una vita passata a temere gli uomini belli come Didier, a sentirsi inadeguata a loro, indegna della loro attenzione al punto che non ha nemmeno provato a cercarla finché non ha avuto la possibilità di un approccio a un uomo del genere in una situazione in cui non ci sarebbe stato un rifiuto verso di lei come donna e in cui lei avrebbe avuto il potere in mano per renderla meno vulnerabile.
Allo stesso tempo, però, Didier ha zittito i suoi bisogni e i suoi desideri per diventare quello che le sue amanti desiderano (lo ripete più volte ed è doloroso da sentire). Come non vedere un parallelismo con quel che ci si aspetta dalle donne? Tutte, non solo le sex worker, ma anche chi tecnicamente non fa lo stesso mestiere (e qui penso a Despentes e la sua analisi letale del matrimonio etero): non devi avere tuoi desideri, devi servire quelli del Tuo Uomo™, perché sotto sotto le donne non hanno desideri, vogliono solo servire e sottomettersi, quindi non stiamo lì a chiederci troppo che vogliono (e se esprimono desideri, SHAME SHAME SHAME). Grazie epoca vittoriana per aver raggiunto queste vette di delirio (per fortuna che poi sono nate invenzioni interessanti, buzz buzz buzzzzzzzz :D)
“Take. Not an easy order. Not when I’ve spent all these years only giving.”
A questo punto sorge una domanda: se certe tematiche mi sono piaciute tanto, perché non ho dato cinque stelle?
Lo stile è quello che ha pesato di più sul mio apprezzamento.
Il ritmo è lento, i dialoghi scarni quando si tratta di scambi “quotidiani” e abbinati a lunghe introspezioni hanno reso tutto piuttosto soporifero, e non solo perché il mese in cui l’ho letto è stato travagliato pov personale e il sonno ne ha risentito parecchio.
È una questione di gusti e a me piace non accorgermi dello stile non cui è scritta una storia perché si amalgama così bene con personaggi e trama che li valorizza e mi aiuta a godermeli meglio. In questo caso, ho dovuto scorrere velocemente certi passaggi (spesso le lunghe riflessioni durante lo stantuffo, che già per me è un momento noioso) perché finiva che continuavo a leggerli e rileggerli e non procedere.
Poi c’è stata questa corrente di “quanto vorrei non usare il preservativo” che, personalmente, mi mette a disagio a livello inconscio e per quanto abbia capito perché sia stata inserita, e il suo significato per la storia, non vuol dire che io debba apprezzarla. Dopotutto questa recensione è un mio parere personale e se un dettaglio pregiudica il mio apprezzamento spensierato della storia è giusto segnalarlo ;)
Infine, ha frenato il fangirling il modo in cui Didier pensava e ripensava che Caroly non era stata con un altro uomo al di fuori di lui: sul serio, Didi, proprio tu questi pensieri? 🙄
“I’m different now than I was even a month ago. Even I feel like I’m meeting me for the first time.”
Un altro erotico che è stato più un viaggio emotivo e interiore che altro: do I notice a pattern? Sono io che li cerco col lanternino o sono davvero tutti così?
Lo scoprirò solo leggendone altri 😬
December 9, 2016
I really really liked this book series ! It has the thing that lot of books lack of these days : a deep exploration of the characters' emotions and feelings. Some people might not like it but I genuinely enjoyed the internal monologues of both Caroly and Didier, mostly because it was so well-written (and I'm not even fluent in English so I bet if it was my mother tongue I would have appreciated it even more), I loved the numerous metaphors the author uses to describe what the characters were feeling which made us understand and appreciate them better.
I loved reading both Caroly and Didier POV, unlike some people I really like Caroly's flaws and her character development, she seems so superficial at first but then you get to know her better, she's really generous and kind and tolerant and you come to think that it was hypocritical to judge her because she shares a lot her taste for beautiful men and things, but who doesn't ? She was a really sincere person, true to herself and to Didier.
Didier is sweet, I usually read more about confident and alpha male characters but he was really cute in his weakness and internal struggles that come with his agoraphobia (which was also so perfectly described).
What I didn't like and impede me to raise this book to near perfection was the issues around Didier's profession.
Until the very end I was waiting and hoping for him to address the fact that he had sex with other women while "falling in love" for Caroly, I can't get how you can have desire for other women if you sincerely love another one, even if it was you long time job, at some point you feel at least the need to be entirely faithful, both emotionally and physically and this feeling never, never crossed Didier's mind.
Yes he quit being a prostitute (only in the last book) but it seems like he did it more for himself, because he realized his clients were keeping him like a pet in a cage, paid and fed. He describes a lot what he feels but he never talked about how he managed to sleep with other women while being with Caroly and getting "attached" to her (he get worried some various time for some various reasons that he won't get excited to have sex with Caroly but he seems to never have this issue with his clients and he also enjoys a bit to much talking about them with Caroly)
The author tells us many time that Didier likes to please women because it makes him feel useful and talented at something and that he has an insatiable libido but still... I really felt that he didn't love Caroly enough, or as much as she loved him, despite the few brave gestures he made for her to prove his love. I know it was difficult to him to quit that job, because it was accommodating and financially comfortable but at least he should have said something about using Caroly in his mind to be able to sleep with his clients, using her as a trigger for his physical desire and make his "infidelity" more acceptable.
Caroly skirts the issue like she doesn't mind sharing but it felt more like she was never feeling worthy of him and she was so insecure she didn't even allow herself to be jealous.
This (important) detail of their relationship was really frustrating for me, I didn't utterly enjoyed the book because of this. And even if the end was optimistic and beautiful, I couldn't stop myself from thinking that their HEA have a expiration date, when Didier will find that Caroly is not enough for him sexually (because he loves pleasuring a variety of women and he never said he stopped enjoying it).
Of course the longevity of desire is a problem in any normal couple but for Caroly and Didier it was even more noticeable and it needed to be addressed more properly. I was very sad and disappointed to imagine their future like him loving her tenderly with perhaps children around them but him also being nostalgic of his past of prostitute and dangerously heading toward sexual infidelity... the author could have prevented that :(
But overall it was a fantastic reading ! If you like original and well-constructed characters and very beautiful writing skills, you should read it right away !
(From a French reader who had fun seeing her language a little bit slaughtered in some passage of the book :)
I loved reading both Caroly and Didier POV, unlike some people I really like Caroly's flaws and her character development, she seems so superficial at first but then you get to know her better, she's really generous and kind and tolerant and you come to think that it was hypocritical to judge her because she shares a lot her taste for beautiful men and things, but who doesn't ? She was a really sincere person, true to herself and to Didier.
Didier is sweet, I usually read more about confident and alpha male characters but he was really cute in his weakness and internal struggles that come with his agoraphobia (which was also so perfectly described).
What I didn't like and impede me to raise this book to near perfection was the issues around Didier's profession.
Until the very end I was waiting and hoping for him to address the fact that he had sex with other women while "falling in love" for Caroly, I can't get how you can have desire for other women if you sincerely love another one, even if it was you long time job, at some point you feel at least the need to be entirely faithful, both emotionally and physically and this feeling never, never crossed Didier's mind.
Yes he quit being a prostitute (only in the last book) but it seems like he did it more for himself, because he realized his clients were keeping him like a pet in a cage, paid and fed. He describes a lot what he feels but he never talked about how he managed to sleep with other women while being with Caroly and getting "attached" to her (he get worried some various time for some various reasons that he won't get excited to have sex with Caroly but he seems to never have this issue with his clients and he also enjoys a bit to much talking about them with Caroly)
The author tells us many time that Didier likes to please women because it makes him feel useful and talented at something and that he has an insatiable libido but still... I really felt that he didn't love Caroly enough, or as much as she loved him, despite the few brave gestures he made for her to prove his love. I know it was difficult to him to quit that job, because it was accommodating and financially comfortable but at least he should have said something about using Caroly in his mind to be able to sleep with his clients, using her as a trigger for his physical desire and make his "infidelity" more acceptable.
Caroly skirts the issue like she doesn't mind sharing but it felt more like she was never feeling worthy of him and she was so insecure she didn't even allow herself to be jealous.
This (important) detail of their relationship was really frustrating for me, I didn't utterly enjoyed the book because of this. And even if the end was optimistic and beautiful, I couldn't stop myself from thinking that their HEA have a expiration date, when Didier will find that Caroly is not enough for him sexually (because he loves pleasuring a variety of women and he never said he stopped enjoying it).
Of course the longevity of desire is a problem in any normal couple but for Caroly and Didier it was even more noticeable and it needed to be addressed more properly. I was very sad and disappointed to imagine their future like him loving her tenderly with perhaps children around them but him also being nostalgic of his past of prostitute and dangerously heading toward sexual infidelity... the author could have prevented that :(
But overall it was a fantastic reading ! If you like original and well-constructed characters and very beautiful writing skills, you should read it right away !
(From a French reader who had fun seeing her language a little bit slaughtered in some passage of the book :)
June 30, 2017
Beautifully written
Much more than a romance story. I was intrigued with the story line but wasn't sure if I would enjoy a story with a prostitute as the main male lead. I am so glad I took the chance on this book. It is a beautifully written story that sucked you in and held you captivated throughout it's entirety. It is erotic, but beautifully done.
Much more than a romance story. I was intrigued with the story line but wasn't sure if I would enjoy a story with a prostitute as the main male lead. I am so glad I took the chance on this book. It is a beautifully written story that sucked you in and held you captivated throughout it's entirety. It is erotic, but beautifully done.
April 24, 2020
DNF@32.5%
I am a fan of Cara McKenna after reading "Willing Victim" and "Brutal Game". I find her story ideas refreshing and her writing is great for the two books. So when I picked up this book, I think I was really expecting a lot from her. The writing is still good as usual but I guess the plot doesn't really do it for me. The story is pretty slow paced and the hero is more on the soft side. It could be due to the fact that I prefer a more domineering book hero so this doesn't really work for me. The romance build up also seems to be slow burnt but I don't doubt that it would work for readers who love a tender and gentle book hero.
I am a fan of Cara McKenna after reading "Willing Victim" and "Brutal Game". I find her story ideas refreshing and her writing is great for the two books. So when I picked up this book, I think I was really expecting a lot from her. The writing is still good as usual but I guess the plot doesn't really do it for me. The story is pretty slow paced and the hero is more on the soft side. It could be due to the fact that I prefer a more domineering book hero so this doesn't really work for me. The romance build up also seems to be slow burnt but I don't doubt that it would work for readers who love a tender and gentle book hero.
February 22, 2017
4 stars.
Normally, the virgin heroine meets super stud hero isn't a trope I enjoy, but I have to admit that I enjoyed the hell out of this one. Probably because both Caroly and Didier are more than their sexual experiences. They're interesting, multi-faceted characters who just happen to have some great chemistry and crazy hot sex together. I really like Caroly. She's accomplished, intelligent and self-aware, and more than a match for Didier. All in all, a super enjoyable read.
Normally, the virgin heroine meets super stud hero isn't a trope I enjoy, but I have to admit that I enjoyed the hell out of this one. Probably because both Caroly and Didier are more than their sexual experiences. They're interesting, multi-faceted characters who just happen to have some great chemistry and crazy hot sex together. I really like Caroly. She's accomplished, intelligent and self-aware, and more than a match for Didier. All in all, a super enjoyable read.
September 10, 2016
5 Parisian Night sky stars
Love it, love it. love it! These characters are amazing and human and you feel with them through the whole of their journey.
Love it, love it. love it! These characters are amazing and human and you feel with them through the whole of their journey.
August 10, 2025
I don't know what to expect from Cara.
But so far, her writing is more erotic with a twist of romance. I like that, the fact that she focuses on how we perceive prostitute or escorts, she shows that no matter the life choices they are still equally human. Some with worse skeletons in their life.
Taking out the erotica, the story was smooth. The characters were honest throughout, no drama. Caroly's knew Didier was a male prostitute when she met him ( infact she went there for his services). Gladly with time their feelings grew into love an he willingly changed his ways for her ( for that he can't be called whore for sleeping with other women just a week or month after meeting Coroly's.
In need he was a Hero.
Caroly's character was simple, an ordinary girl reaching her 30's that wanted to break her virginity without strings attached, that's what led her to contacting a professional prostitute, but everything changed the evening they met. She did not have much baggage in her back.
Didier on the other hand had some baggage, suffered from fear of leaving the house, no family and he lived his life with the help from people that were good to him, helping him with groceries and any other services outside house.
There was chemistry, sensitivity, which made the story more interesting.
Beautiful
But so far, her writing is more erotic with a twist of romance. I like that, the fact that she focuses on how we perceive prostitute or escorts, she shows that no matter the life choices they are still equally human. Some with worse skeletons in their life.
Taking out the erotica, the story was smooth. The characters were honest throughout, no drama. Caroly's knew Didier was a male prostitute when she met him ( infact she went there for his services). Gladly with time their feelings grew into love an he willingly changed his ways for her ( for that he can't be called whore for sleeping with other women just a week or month after meeting Coroly's.
In need he was a Hero.
Caroly's character was simple, an ordinary girl reaching her 30's that wanted to break her virginity without strings attached, that's what led her to contacting a professional prostitute, but everything changed the evening they met. She did not have much baggage in her back.
Didier on the other hand had some baggage, suffered from fear of leaving the house, no family and he lived his life with the help from people that were good to him, helping him with groceries and any other services outside house.
There was chemistry, sensitivity, which made the story more interesting.
Beautiful
March 24, 2025
This is the first book I’ve read from this author and I doubt it will be the last. The writing is beautiful.
The story itself was interesting because when there’s a prostitution theme it tends to be the woman and there’s lots of degradation and a general seediness, but this was none of those things.
Didier seemed to get more than just money out of his arrangements with his clients which kind of made it more of a mutual benefits thing than how prostitution is usually portrayed. He also did it because he was naturally drawn to it rather than a lack of choice. I liked his character immensely - male characters are usually very boisterous but Didier was honest and sensitive and vulnerable. It was nice for a man to be rescued by a woman for a change!
I wasn’t a huge fan of Caroly… She seemed incredibly shallow and I didn’t really understand her issues with men. Didier is described as being incredibly attractive, he was attracted to Caroly and 10s usually attract 10s so… Yeah, that part stumped me.
This book (or series) lacked any real drama or conflict but I was still gripped the whole way through. An enjoyable read
The story itself was interesting because when there’s a prostitution theme it tends to be the woman and there’s lots of degradation and a general seediness, but this was none of those things.
Didier seemed to get more than just money out of his arrangements with his clients which kind of made it more of a mutual benefits thing than how prostitution is usually portrayed. He also did it because he was naturally drawn to it rather than a lack of choice. I liked his character immensely - male characters are usually very boisterous but Didier was honest and sensitive and vulnerable. It was nice for a man to be rescued by a woman for a change!
I wasn’t a huge fan of Caroly… She seemed incredibly shallow and I didn’t really understand her issues with men. Didier is described as being incredibly attractive, he was attracted to Caroly and 10s usually attract 10s so… Yeah, that part stumped me.
This book (or series) lacked any real drama or conflict but I was still gripped the whole way through. An enjoyable read
October 20, 2020
Stunning
For as long as i live I’ll never forget these characters, their nuances and their quirks. The prose, only slightly wordy , imprinted on me in a way rushed romances don’t bother with anymore. There’s gravity and growth and important conversations filtered through the prism of mind bending sex. If anyone would’ve told me that one of the greatest romances I’ve ever read existed between a prostitute and his virgin client I would’ve laughed. And yet I’ve met the renowned and beautiful Didier and still can’t quite catch my breath. The width of his love. His self awareness and selfish possession will never stop haunting me. He’s beyond perfect and beyond flawed and I’ll never stop wanting to meet him in fiction. You can’t reread a book for the first time but with this one I’m going to seriously give it a shot.
For as long as i live I’ll never forget these characters, their nuances and their quirks. The prose, only slightly wordy , imprinted on me in a way rushed romances don’t bother with anymore. There’s gravity and growth and important conversations filtered through the prism of mind bending sex. If anyone would’ve told me that one of the greatest romances I’ve ever read existed between a prostitute and his virgin client I would’ve laughed. And yet I’ve met the renowned and beautiful Didier and still can’t quite catch my breath. The width of his love. His self awareness and selfish possession will never stop haunting me. He’s beyond perfect and beyond flawed and I’ll never stop wanting to meet him in fiction. You can’t reread a book for the first time but with this one I’m going to seriously give it a shot.
October 24, 2021
Didier and Caroly are simply exquisite.
I didn't know what to expect when I began reading this. Cara McKenna sweeps you along in this erotic romance between a 30-yr old American virgin, Caroly, who hires gorgeous French male model-turned prostitute to rid her of her virginity.
This book isn't for everyone. Didier does not --- at first --- give up seeing his other clients, even after he realizes his love for the leggy, coltish woman who has changed his life. (No spoilers, but she learns something about him that he has not revealed to any other woman.). Their love affair is told in a series of erotic vignettes -- assembled as one story in this edition. Told in alternating first person, we get an intimate portrait of these 2 semi broken people.
This love story unfolds against Didier's journey to monogamy. I felt this is definitely Didier's story. Caroly isn't quite as defined as he.
McKenna takes you on a journey. Didier & Caroly are quite memorable. Very erotic!
I didn't know what to expect when I began reading this. Cara McKenna sweeps you along in this erotic romance between a 30-yr old American virgin, Caroly, who hires gorgeous French male model-turned prostitute to rid her of her virginity.
This book isn't for everyone. Didier does not --- at first --- give up seeing his other clients, even after he realizes his love for the leggy, coltish woman who has changed his life. (No spoilers, but she learns something about him that he has not revealed to any other woman.). Their love affair is told in a series of erotic vignettes -- assembled as one story in this edition. Told in alternating first person, we get an intimate portrait of these 2 semi broken people.
This love story unfolds against Didier's journey to monogamy. I felt this is definitely Didier's story. Caroly isn't quite as defined as he.
McKenna takes you on a journey. Didier & Caroly are quite memorable. Very erotic!
August 29, 2023
That was a hot, sexy, intriguing, smart, and interesting exploration of the human psyche when it comes to sex and love. Not that it was all intellectual and cold, no, it was in the trenches, there with every experience and thought, as two people explore their thoughts, feelings, and touch, with each other. This journey of discovery doesn’t take a normal route, but it does go down path’s that our characters need to find their inner peace. It was so much more than erotica, it was rich with emotions and insights into the people involved, loved every moment of it <3
January 27, 2024
3.75 stars
Needed a palate cleanser after a particularly intense book before going on to book 2.
This was perfect. Sweet story - not your typical love match - full of personal growth and caring for one another, being vulnerable and helping each other overcome personal challenges. Nothing too twisty but lovely all the same. I enjoyed my time in their world. Didn’t feel particularly compelled to stay or return but felt hopeful they would continue their journey to happiness.
Just what I needed! Now back to extreme angst and over the top intense feelings!!
Needed a palate cleanser after a particularly intense book before going on to book 2.
This was perfect. Sweet story - not your typical love match - full of personal growth and caring for one another, being vulnerable and helping each other overcome personal challenges. Nothing too twisty but lovely all the same. I enjoyed my time in their world. Didn’t feel particularly compelled to stay or return but felt hopeful they would continue their journey to happiness.
Just what I needed! Now back to extreme angst and over the top intense feelings!!
June 21, 2020
Good story about 30 yr old virgin girl that goes to a male prostitute so she is no longer a virgin. The story was a little on the long side. I wish there was more dialogue between the two instead of all their inner thoughts. It has detailed sex scenes which I personally like in my romance books. I would recommend this book.
October 22, 2020
Cara McKenna’s writing is breathtaking, as I’ve come to expect with her novels. This is a stunning, romantic, and sensual glimpse into the love story of two flawed individuals who find each other and learn important lessons from one another. Didier and Caroly were well developed and interesting. I was deeply invested in their happy ending, and it was satisfying to read.
March 31, 2022
Beautifully written
Oh, this book made my heart so full. It was a very unique twist on a romance novel, breaking a few "norms" along the way. I enjoyed it. The character development was thorough and left me feeling like I knew these people. My heart is full!
I would have loved an epilogue to show a glimpse into their future though. It felt just the tiny bit unfinished.
Oh, this book made my heart so full. It was a very unique twist on a romance novel, breaking a few "norms" along the way. I enjoyed it. The character development was thorough and left me feeling like I knew these people. My heart is full!
I would have loved an epilogue to show a glimpse into their future though. It felt just the tiny bit unfinished.
July 21, 2024
This was a recommendation from a request for a steamy book. I loved the dynamic of the main characters and the build of their relationship. The intimate scenes were good and it was well written. It discussed some of the issues of childhood traumas and how they show up in your day to day activities as an adult. This is part of my top 5 at the moment and I will read again.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
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May 25, 2022Got boring
This started out with such promise, but every vignette rehashed the same fears, the same feels, the same hesitations and joys. After the third vignette, there was very little variation and a whole lot of emotional gushing. I could have easily skipped it.
This started out with such promise, but every vignette rehashed the same fears, the same feels, the same hesitations and joys. After the third vignette, there was very little variation and a whole lot of emotional gushing. I could have easily skipped it.
October 24, 2017
Loved it!
November 14, 2018
The best erotica I’ve ever read. Her writing is stunning.
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