Breathalyzer

by K. Silem Mohammad

Poetry. "Goofy, weird, beyond funny, wise, wicked, K. Silem Mohammad is the exorcist giving us all a ride home. Beyond the pale, right with it, he's my poet laureate for our frightening state of the union"--Linh Dinh. "They say Auden was the first poet to be truly at home in the modern world. Mohammad is the first to be utterly unimaginable in any other. His poems communicate a total, infectious joy at being alive today, in our F'ed-up pluriverse of words and deeds. F in this case being flarf, a four-letter word for our time" -Benjamin Friedlander. Be sure to check out Mohammad's previous titles A THOUSAND DEVILS and DEAR HEAD NATION, both currently available from SPD.

Genres: Poetry

79 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 2008

About the author

K. Silem Mohammad is the author of Deer Head Nation (Tougher Disguises, 2003), A Thousand Devils (Combo Books, 2004), Breathalyzer (Edge Books, 2008), and The Front (Roof Books, 2009). His poetry has been published in numerous journals and anthologies. He is co-editor (with Richard Greene) of the essay collections The Undead and Philosophy: Chicken Soup for the Soulless (Open Court, 2006) and Quentin Tarantino and Philosophy: How to Philosophize with a Pair of Pliers and a Blowtorch (Open Court, 2007). Mohammad edits the poetry journal Abraham Lincoln with Anne Boyer.

Reviews

[Benjamin · Rating 5 out of 5]

I do not have Mohammad's other books, so I can't compare this one to those, but just comparing it to other poetry I know, I would say if you enjoy writing that exposes the world for what it is, than this is an excellent book. In a more general, story-telling sense he is, like Billy Collins, the master of the double-
back and bite-you-on-the-butt technique and that's a very addictive quality in a poet. I also reccomend it for college students because it will change your whole outlook on life. I recomend that those younger than college age do not read it because of the vulgarity and also Mohammad deals with alot of mature themes that are not appropraite for younger readers.. As for his poems themselves, they are quite funny. My favorites are probably "Exorcist Voice", "Captain", and "Train." "I Said to Poetry" is shocking if you think about it hard. "Personal Poem" is scary! This one might trigger conversation and offer some support for people experiencing similar real-life problems. Mohammad does sound a little forced during to stanzas to me, but I think it's because he tries to push the envelope and in doing that he falls off the page. "Do We Need Goddess Language?" is just so-so. I'm probably one of the biggest antiPC nuts you'll ever meet, but "all you little faggots are a pussy" is just wrong. It's like the poem stopped being a joke or something.

Notes on some poems:

1. Exorcist Voice: This poem is a great poem to read first because it's such a pick-me-up it can get your mind moving and laughing. 10/10

2. Captain: I'll admit this one took me a while to warm up to, but now it's one of my favorite poems. This poem is completely relatable, he's talking about a mind-blowing experience that seems totally like outside your everday. 9/10

3. Working Class Bambi Fragmentation: Ok, this poem is kind of annoying. All he really says is "everything is all mixed together with everything and who can make sense of it" and in the end who can make sense of it? Not me. 5/10

4. Nietzsche's Failure: I loved this poem since the very first time I read it. It's very complicated and strange, Mohammad's rang is very strong. 9/10

5. Train: If anything is pouring out of his mouth it is put fully into this poem. 9/10

6. Formalism Doesn't Kill People: not a favorite, but it's a fun poem with a great last stanza. 7/10

7. Victor Schlovy's Aluminum-Covered civil Union Garage Band: I love the Chaucer quote. 7.5/10

8. Jesus Chriust: the poem is ok, but I really don't like the stanza where he speaks about God as "this handsome ghostly image chick," I am totally agianst that! I'm a christain, and it's blasphemous to speak about our God in that way! 6/10

9. Meet Squishy Money: I love the rawness of his voice here. 8.5/10

10. La Vie Domestique: I have to say, this poem was actually pretty good even though I didn't like it too much at first. "ride the bone of space"! 8/10

11. Goldmine: GREAT! I love the opening! I also like the lines about "dark energy" and becoming a "total whores for women's soccer" and the part about "a malevolent theology based on Alan Greenspan" and the ending, where he looks at Britney from a totally different perspective, still using the word "ass"! Man, that part is awesome. 10/10

12. Do We Need Goddess Language: My lest favorite. It's the whole 'i dont like you so anything you think has to be stupid', the rest is okay. 4/10

13. Today's Goats: a very honest poem about nature in general and how much Mohammad appreciates animals and sex. I like it even more because he speaks about girls taking on a male form to have intercourse, which is hardly ever broached in nature poems. 10/10

14. Abstract Poetoics: This one is pretty good! The sentiment is kind of familiar, I like how he expresses it. 8/10

15. Personal Poem: There is no better poem in the book to end the book then this poem. The poem manages to be inspiring yet mournful at the same time. 9/10

[Rodney · Rating 5 out of 5]

With Breathalyzer, Mohammad holds his ground as one of the most dexterous, hilarious, and imaginatively disjunctive poets of this our not-so-hilariously disjunctive century. The TOC alone is one of the most arresting poems I've read in donkey's years, and taken back to front it's the "The Led Zeppelin Experience" of the music of the now. My s(h)elf would wheeze poorer without it.

[Cameron · Rating 2 out of 5]

Almost a complete waste of time. Made me a little sick with its bullshit, which, I suppose, might be part of the point. There are times when the nonsense is interesting, which is why I give the book two stars instead of one. The combination of flippancy and disjointed, shallow flarf findings is boring and uninteresting.

[uena · Rating 5 out of 5]

Do I not have a cutlass
and the desire to use it??

-"Why I Am Not A Pirate"


and then I watched
The OC and then I threw up on a rose bush

-"Personal Poem"


you venture into my valley and then you ask for your life?
you will not leave this valley alive little dwarf

-"The Led Zeppelin Experience"

[Adam · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was awesome. It was all over my ass like a candy rash. When I finished reading it, I passed it over to the elf in strawberry flavoured crotchless panties who lives with me. He f*****g loved it as well. Beyonce is more than Beyonce.