After the Cheering Stops: An NFL Wife's Story of Concussions, Loss, and the Faith That Saw Her Through

by Cyndy Feasel, Mike Yorkey (With), Daniel G. Amen (Foreword)

Former NFL wife Cyndy Feasel tells the tragic story of her family s journey into chaos and darkness resulting from the damage her husband suffered due to football-related concussions and head trauma and the faith that saved her.

If I d only known what I loved the most would end up killing me and taking away everything I loved, I would have never done it. Grant Feasel

Grant Feasel spent ten years in the NFL, playing 117 games as a center and a long snapper mostly for the Seattle Seahawks. The skull-battering, jaw-shaking collisions he absorbed during those years ultimately destroyed his marriage and fractured his family. Grant died on July 15, 2012, at the age of 52, the victim of alcohol abuse and a degenerative brain disease known as chronic traumatic encephalopathy, or CTE.

Cyndy Feasel watched their life together become a living hell as alcohol became Grant s medication for a disease rooted in the scores of concussions he suffered on the football field. Helmet-to-helmet collisions opened the door to CTE and transformed him from a sunny, strong, and loving man into a dark shadow of his former self. In this raw and emotional memoir that takes a closer look at the destruction wrought by a game millions love, Cyndy describes in painful and excruciating detail what can happen to an NFL player and his family when the stadium empties and the lights go down. A powerful tale of warning for football moms and NFL wives everywhere, After the Cheering Stops is also a story of the hard-won hope found in God s presence when everything else falls apart.

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Genres: Nonfiction, Biography Memoir

272 pages, ebook

Published November 15, 2016

Reviews

[Kelly (Simply Kelina) C. · Rating 3 out of 5]

I am not normally a fan of Non-Fiction, but this sounded interesting, so I was happy to get a chance to have a copy sent for review.

"In the end, we realized that football had cost him everything-his life, his relationship with me, and his family."

This was so much more than about football and concussions. This book deals with addiction, mental health, loss, friendship, and love. It also deals with faith and survival.

Right from the beginning you learn about the struggles the family went through and how this effected the relationship and the children in the Feasel family.

Throughout the story, you get glimpses of journal entries written by Cyndy Feasel, and I feel these added some powerful moments into this book. They really touched your heart.

I liked the writing as this felt more like a story than a non-fiction read. You get to learn about this family from how the parents met, to marriage, the struggles dating an athlete, and how addiction takes a tole on everything in your life.

I really enjoyed this and I am glad I gave it a chance.

[Joseph · Rating 1 out of 5]

I wish I could say that I liked it, but unfortunately I didn't. The title of the book pretty much explains what happens in the book. I guess here is why I didn't like it.

The writing was poorly done. Her coauthor has done a lot of personal books with other athletes and I am surprised of some of the writing that was not edited or expanded on. I don't know who decided what, but when you explain what the movie Stripes is, what a center is in football, etc it is unnecessary.

She came across as someone who wasn't really into football, but she is from Dallas and I think was cheerleader in HS. Throughout the book she made it seem like she didn't know what it took to be a football player or something. It was just surprising to read that coming from Texas. The use of the football terms for each chapter and subject was sort of annoying.

There were just blanks and holes in the story. It seemed like after his football career her kids were like 5-8 and then it was them in HS and college.

She has an affair with another guy, which is not good, but sort of depends herself in justifying why she did it. Like it wasn't her fault and she shouldn't be judged. OK, well that is fine I guess. She ends up divorcing him, but at the same time sort is there with him through the end for the most part. She mixes in some Faith and Bible references.

I guess I look back and say she stated they had a lot of faith. How come they didn't try to use faith in the beginning. They could have and it is just not in the book. I don't know. At the end she said his parents never knew about his drinking habits. How did they not know considering how he was looking over the years. How come she didn't try to get them and the rest of his side of the family more involved. Again hindsight.

When he dies she was sort of taken back and saddened that she wasn't allowed to sit with the family at the funeral. Well you divorced him, you shouldn't expect. Her mentioning that she lived in a modern duplex now was a bit odd. Then there is a reference of contacting her to talk to churches, etc. I don't see the connection there, but her story could be used for the NFLPA meetings or something. Maybe she will be able to talk better than how the book is written.

Overall just a little disappointing as I was expecting something a little better and I can't really give it a 2 star with it being OK, because it sort of wasn't. I have a lot of books that I want to read and have on the back burner. I moved this to the top to read something different and I probably should have not done that and maybe that is another reason why I was disappointed in the book.

[Angie Fehl · Rating 3 out of 5]

Grant Feasel was a 6' 7" lineman for the Seattle Seahawks throughout the 1980s-early 1990s, playing center and long snapper positions. In this memoir, Grant's ex-wife, Cyndy Feasel, recounts all the years of football trauma she witnessed her husband take and how deeply that affected him and their family up until the day he died.

Cyndy and Grant met while students at Abilene Christian College, where Grant played on the school's football team while studying to be a dentist. Even in those early days, Cyndy would attend his games, watching him get hit or knocked flat out at nearly every game. But coaches would simply wave some smelling salts under his nose and send him back onto the field. Things didn't get any easier when the NFL came calling in 1984. After being offered a position with the Baltimore Colts (who became the Indianapolis Colts shortly after Feasel signed on), Feasel jumped at the opportunity, figuring he could take up his medical degree again later on if the football gig didn't work out. He only got to play for them a short time before the coaches decided he was one of the expendables on the roster. Much to his relief, he was quickly picked up by the Minnesota Vikings.

During the 1985 Vikings training camp, Grant suffered a major collision with a teammate from the defensive line. That hit caused Grant's left knee to have a major blowout -- his ACL, MCL and meniscus all shredded, immediately bumping him to the team's IR (injured reserve) roster. That is, until around Thanksgiving 1986, when he was dropped yet again. But again, luck was on his side -- the Seattle Seahawks snatched him up for their 1987 season and he stayed with them until his retirement in the early 1990s. The Seahawks coaches were aware of his injury record but were also impressed by his formidable size, his hard-working blue collar mentality and his high intelligence that allowed him to quickly and easily learn plays. By this time, Grant and Cyndy had children to support. Fearing that he could lose his spot on the team and thus his income, Grant dedicated himself to finding any means to bulk up, hoping it would prevent or at least soften further injury... even if that meant turning to steroid usage.

The detrimental hits didn't stop though, no matter what measures Feasel chased. Instead, the norm became him being sent home with first one baggie full of prescription grade pain killers, then multiple baggies. He also turned to his own remedies, mainly a Sunday & Monday night ritual of downing an entire 6 pack of Coors Light with a Vicodin chaser. As Grant approached his last years in the NFL and then retirement, Cyndy saw the gentle, hard-working family man she fell in love with transition into a man of barely bottled rage. Grant's moods spiraled into a dangerous blend of anger, paranoia, and uncharacteristic profane behavior / language. Though he would seek the help of psychiatrists, more often than not he'd simply be sent home with yet more prescriptions for pain killers or mood enhancers / suppressants. In time, Cyndy discovered her husband's secret: abuse of prescription medications. An alarmed and terrified Cyndy watched her once happy marriage descend into a living nightmare of emotional (and later, physical) abuse.

Though Grant's official cause of death was listed as ESLD or End Stage Liver Disease (aka cirrhosis of the liver), Cyndy lays out why she believes her husband essentially committed suicide slowly over the course of nearly 20 years, thanks to his then-undiagnosed CTE (Chronic Traumatic Encephalopathy) disease. Grant's brain was donated for study to the "Brain Bank" at Boston University, where the brain matter of numerous deceased NFL players have been sent to be tested for CTE. To date, CTE is a condition that can only be determined postmortem (after death).

Having recently read the non-fiction work League of Denial, which takes a lengthy look at the topic of the NFL and the CTE epidemic in general, I thoroughly appreciated the opportunity to read Cyndy Feasel's personal account of trying to live with someone who battled the condition (though they weren't aware of it at the time). Reading the two works together really cemented in my mind the truth that though the NFL has made progress in better caring for their players, the scourge of CTE is still very much a topic that requires persistent discussion. Near the end of Cyndy Feasel's book, there is a definite lean towards pushing parents to keep their kids away from team sports. While I understand the stance, I personally find it a drastic one.

While I am sympathetic of Cyndy's struggles, I was a little put off by how watered down and somewhat bland the writing is here. Though the story is Cyndy's, the writing is actually done by Mike Yorkey. His author blurb gives him credit for writing or co-writing some 100 books to date. Why then was the writing so simplistic? That's what stumped me. For example, did the reader really need an explanation of what Advil is... seriously?! I was also surprised that while Feasel talks of immersively educating herself on the topic of CTE after Grant's death, I didn't see one mention of Dr. Bennett Omalu, though he was instrumental in the discovery of the disease in the first place! (Will Smith portrayed Omalu in the film Concussion).

Again, I would recommend checking out League of Denial for an in-depth look at the topic of CTE, but I appreciate Feasel's memoir as a personalized, supplemental offering on the subject.


FTC Disclaimer: BookLookBloggers & Thomas Nelson Publishers kindly provided me with a complimentary copy of this book & requested that I check it out and share my thoughts. The opinions above are entirely my own.

[Read a Book · Rating 1 out of 5]

For starters, CTE is a tragic and shattering condition that should have been better understood decades ago. I certainly agree with the author there. It has ruined hundreds of lives, and will affect hundreds more. More should be done to research this issue.
My main issue with the book is how it was written (and fault the ghostwriter for this). It suffers from three critical issues.

(1) The author completely removes her husband’s agency over his own decisions. While the extent of the impacts of concussions was not known during his playing years, it is common sense that physical violence of that caliber would exact a toll on his body after a number of high school, college, and professional playing years. Her husband understood this risk and accepted it. Even as the injuries piled up and affected his off-the-field life, he continued to choose football over a different, less risky, yet likely a less glorious or lucrative career. That was his choice, right or wrong. True, his agency may have been compromised by CTE later in life, although it is difficult to determine when this issue may have started (see my second point below).

The author also asserts that money became a frequent issue, yet does not reflect upon the irony that such concerns were preceded by custom-built homes, expensive jewelry, multiple Rolexes, nice vehicles, family travel, and other luxuries. The author blames CTE for poor financial planning – perhaps this is true, yet again perhaps it was a mixture of other causes that preceded the latter stages of CTE and substance abuse. It is difficult to tell based on the evidence given.

(2) The writing is both simple and erratic, as is its logic. Every slight of her husband, both the benign to the brutish, are recounted in detail and tallied as evidence of his fall from grace and damage to his marriage and children’s wellbeing. However, the author’s extended extramarital affair is given little focus. It is not my role as an independent third party to condemn her, nor do I do so. She has the right to her decisions. Simultaneously, these decisions have their own impact on family life as well, and they were substantially under-discussed throughout the book.

There are substantial jumps in the book’s timeline that make it difficult to determine how quickly her husband's condition worsened. Based on the book's telling, this happened quickly. However, given the significant jump in her children’s ages, this descent must have taken far longer. This is a crucial detail for readers to better understand the nature of substance abuse and CTE, and is unfortunately left out.

(3) The causal chain of the NFL being responsible for her husband’s predicament is not really the focus of the book. If anything, the author focuses primarily on her husband’s alcoholism and drug addiction. True, this may have been kickstarted by a painful NFL career that left lingering chronic injuries, but it is a substantial jump in the causal chain to spend the majority of the book on alcohol and drug abuse and then use the last few pages condemning the NFL’s role in allowing brain injuries to proliferate. A casual reader would assume that chronic pain had driven her husband to such substance abuse over many years, which inevitably contributed to his mental and physical decline and erratic behavior as much if not more than any CTE-related damage.

This may not be true, but it is an equally plausible conclusion to draw based upon the evidence provided. In this case, the causal chain from CTE to death is far from clear.

I don’t wish to take anything away from her story. I just wish she had teamed with a different ghostwriter that could have written in in a more coherent and rich manner that it deserves. The issue is not a clear one, and has no easy solution to resolve it.

[Jason Reynolds · Rating 5 out of 5]

The widow of NFL center Grant Feasel is sharing her family’s story to help warn others about the dangers of sports-related concussions. Cyndy Feasel lost her husband Grant in 2012 to cirrohsis of the liver due to alcoholism, which was connected to a degenerative brain disease called CTE. The CTE in turn was caused by a lifetime of receiving concussions from playing football.

Cyndy shares her story in a book by Nelson Books titled “After the Cheering Stops: An NFL Wife’s Story of Concussions, Loss, and the Faith That Saw Her Through.”

The couple, which had three children, divorced about a year before Grant’s death, ending 29 years of marriage. They made peace shortly before his death.

“If I’d only known that what I loved the most would end up killing me and taking away everything I loved, I would have never done it,” Grant told Cyndy weeks before his death.

Cyndy calls Grant’s issues a “slow fade.” She did not realize the extent of his brain injuries until his death; CTE can only be diagnosed by performing an autopsy on the brain, she said. The damage happened over the course of his lifetime of playing football.

To understand their marriage, you have to start at the beginning of their relationship, she told me. They met while attending Abilene Christian University — he was a Southern California guy on a full football scholarship and she was a Texas gal.

Their first date was a blind date, but she had already seen him around campus. At 6 feet, 7 inches, he was the tallest man she had ever met — and handsome. The two Christians had a great deal in common.

“I knew he was a different kind of guy,” Cyndy said. “A beautiful mind.”

Grant loved poetry, music and art. She had never known another guy on a first date to be into those things.

Grant was a gifted football player — and extremely intelligent. He won every academic award and was an academic All-American. He was accepted into every dental school in Texas but chose to put off a medical or dental education to play football. He was drafted by the Colts.

“We were kids in our early 20s,” she said. “One percent of people in the world would get a chance like this. Who wouldn’t take it, right?”

Cyndy calls those the good years. They traveled a lot and met lots of people. Grant worked hard and she was a stay-at-home wife. However, even before then, she worried about the physical toll the game took on Grant.

He had a concussion in his senior year of college. He blew it off. That served as a red flag to Cyndy, whose sister had fractured her skull in a serious fall. But people didn’t really talk about concussions at the time.

Grant would later suffer another serious concussion within the last five years of his NFL career during a game at Mile High Stadium in Denver. He went back into that game despite experiencing tunnel vision. Other symptoms included nausea and head pain. However, there was no sports concussion protocol in the 1980s and 1990s.

I asked Cyndy if pro sports organizations are doing better about dealing with concussions.

“I’m trying to wrap my mind around all of how big this picture is,” she said in response. Grant played football from age 8. “I think they’re talking about it more and there’s more awareness. But parents and people cheering the NFL games … I don’t think everybody understands the visual the brain is like gray Jello. I never dreamed the brain is made out of a soft substance like butter. If I had known that, I would have begged Grant on bended knees not to play.”

Grant’s brain was “jiggled” around in every play every day from age 8 to age 32.

“I think the NFL knows it and I think they know there’s a huge problem,” she said. “I think it’s all driven by money. It’s like a gladiator game, and I think we forget that it’s a human face.”

Cyndy said she posts frequently on her Facebook author page about the dangers of concussions.

“We’re cheering and clapping and giving people money and it ends up killing our loved ones.”

She calls her marriage a “tragic love story” similar to Romeo and Juliet. She and Grant drifted apart.

Cyndy also says that Grant’s condition was a “slow fade.” She thought he was simply fighting drug and alcohol addictions, which is why he started making irrational decisions like continuing to play after nearly dying of a serious staph infection. Even though he had a port that allowed antibiotics to be delivered to his heart, Grant continued to play football.

“I remember the look in his eyes” when he said he would not retire, she said. “I think that’s when a huge decision was made that was not realistic. He knew. He wanted to be a doctor. It shows he had lost his reasoning ability.”

After that, Grant began bringing in bags of unmarked pills and drinking liquor with sodas. Candy later learned that sleeplessness and alcoholism are signs of CTE.

The night that he did retire, Grant drank an entire bottle of whiskey of a leading brand. “He loved our family and he loved me. But … he had a constant drive.” That night he gave Cyndy an expensive ring as a gift — the same exact ring he had given her two years prior, and he did not remember when she reminded him.

Cyndy began finding bottles of alcohol hidden in his clothes at home.

She wishes now that she had chosen one person in whom to confide, but she says she was a co-dependent bent on not sharing her marriage’s problems.

“Please tell one person” if you are going through a similar problem, she urged. That person can be a lifeline to get you help somewhere.

Grant always had ongoing prescriptions for pain killers for various hurts but only had one surgery, to fix a broken nose. He never had knee replacement or had his hurt back fixed.

Cyndy said she always believed her old Grant, her children’s father, would return. He never did.

She said she did not know about the CTE for sure until after his brain was examined after death. Toward the end of his life, he had begun to suspect he had CTE like certain other athletes who had been diagnosed with it. That’s when he said he would never have played football if he had known it would kill him.

There are four stages of CTE. Grant had Stage 3, Cyndy said.

She said she considered suicide after Grant’s death. Her faith, and her family and Christian family, have carried her through with their unconditional love. God is her answer.

“I wouldn’t be here without my faith,” she said.

Christian therapy and a church support group have also helped. “If you’re going through anything like this you can’t do it alone.” She said she was a “terrible co-dependent” and pretended she had a perfect life.

“I believe in the Bible,” she said. “I believe that God knew everything about me before I was born and knew about Grant.” She believes Grant is in Heaven saying “You go girl!” about her sharing her family’s story.

She and Grant reconciled at the end. But before that, “we ended when I was mad, sad and angry. It was a very tragic ending.” Forgiving one another before Grant’s death was the only way she has been able to carry on, she said.

Cyndy said she is honoring her husband’s legacy by sharing his story.

She belongs to a group called Save Your Brain for family of CTE victims. She did not have that resource when going through Grant’s health struggles. She also recommends looking up CTE on the Mayo Clinic and Centers for Disease Control websites.

“This is a disease that affects not only NFL athletes but children,” she said.

More information about Cyndy and her story is at afterthecheeringstops.com and cyndyfeasel.com. Look up her name on Facebook for her author page. She has resources for people to learn more about CTE and brain research.

— Jason Reynolds

[Mark Myrehaug · Rating 5 out of 5]

I have NOT read an entire book in one setting for decades. I love to read, but since University days I am way too busy and have so many interests. This being said, I loved this book as it deals with the world of an NFL star and how the battle to compete and to make the big leagues is NO easy task. I was blown away hearing about all his injuries and all the pain killers taken just to keep his body going. The part that had me focused on the most was looking for memory issues early on long before CTE was in full swing in Grant Feasel's brain. I too have suffered with four concussions and none were in sports and none were because of dumb weekend activities. This book should be read by every mom who is questioning if their child should play tackle football because after you read this story you will NEVER let your child do it! I also have been challenged to my love of watching CFL football- Canadian league as I NEVER knew until I read about CTE our game is literally littered with former players battling severe memory issues, depression and even suicide. As a concussion survivor who battles so many hidden scars I beg you to question if little Johnny should ever play this game....your brain health is for life!

[Tina Hughes · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book really surprised me. I was walking in the bright sun looking for an audiobook I could listen to and just randomly picked this one because I could barely see the screen. About halfway through the book I realized that I know the extended family of the author. I live in Rockwall and taught some of her nieces and nephews. I've seen beautiful family pictures on Facebook of the sisters with their parents for many years and had no idea of the heartbreak Cyndy was going through. I don't cry very easily, and I literally wept in some of the final chapters. I am thankful to Cyndy for being courageous enough to share this story. This story will help many, many people who are either suffering through the same situation or parents who are deciding about putting their kids in contact sports. I really hate this outcome for this precious family, but I'm thankful to Cyndy for finding purpose in it. May God bless you always. I realize now that me selectly this book was not random at all but by God's design.

[Matthew · Rating 4 out of 5]

What a disturbing and VERY well written account of what it's like to be married to a pro football player. Author Cyndy Feasel went through HELL with her deceased husband Grant Feasel after his NFL career ended after the 1992 season.

I bet this book was seriously therapeutic for Cyndy and traumatic too, because by writing this book she had to relive the pain she went through with her husband for more than a decade.

When the Cheering Stops is one of those books that as a football fan you purchase because you know the main subject of the book (Grant Feasel). But when you finish the book your head is swimming with all types of thoughts on matters other than football.

This book was about coping, surveying a former football player's life in retirement, watching someone you love deteriorate, watching someone you love delay or ignore their dreams (Grant Feasel started out wanting to be a dentist, not an NFL football player), and etc.

This book more than anything else was a PSA on what life can be like for an NFL retiree if he isn't prepared for life after football.

[Sarah · Rating 5 out of 5]

I read "After The Cheering Stops" in one night. This book is eye-opening, raw, heartwarming, painful and even offers transparency. It is absolutely stunningly breathtaking. Cyndy Feasel is a hero for taking a stance and being so willing to share such vulnerable and intimate details of their life. She shows courage and determination to show no matter what situations and problems people face whether in the spectator light or not, we all can stop to ask for help. I love that she is willing to stand up and take a stance on sports injuries, especially concussions to help others find out that they can life long impacts. As an individual who had a concussion, this book is very near and dear to my heart. I cried several times throughout the book and found myself rooting for Cyndy. I am also inspired my her amazing faith. This is a book that you will just love! I give this book 5/5 stars. Go purchase a copy today! Thank you to the publisher for providing a copy.

[Nanette · Rating 4 out of 5]

With the start of the football season, this story brings injuries and their lasting symptoms to the forefront. This is just one story of a family and the repercussions the possible injuries the game of football could leave behind, after the cheering stops. Cyndy Feasel begins her story during college when she first meets and later marries her football playing husband, Grant Feasel, an all pro center. She continues her story till the very end of his sad life. I plan to continue to read more football stories in the future, both from those who have suffered from CTE, like Junior Seau, and those who have not.

[Dallas · Rating 5 out of 5]

Thought provoking

So here I sit a person who enjoys watching football and a person who played as a kid. This whole CTE thing causes thoughts of wishing people would not play the game but also enjoying the entertainment. What is one to do?

To further cause mixed feelings I'm glad I didn't go further in the sport, or rather that I wasn't good enough to be tempted.

So I find myself wondering now when I care about the players on my team, wondering if maybe they shouldn't give up the sport. Then I turn on a game and enjoy that.

How will these thoughts and feelings work themselves out, in society but also in my own mind? Stay tuned.

[John Middleton · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a powerful, painful, yet inspiring story that builds in intensity as it unfolds. I’ve read a lot of memoirs in my time, by famous people and not-so-famous people, but none have had as much impact on me as this one. I met Grant Feasel a few times in the months just before his death, and I had no idea that the “gentle giant” exterior masked a man—along with his wife and children—in such excruciating torment and pain.

Because she believes so deeply in her message, Cyndy Feasel has laid her life bare with brutal honesty and incredible courage. I highly recommend AFTER THE CHEERING STOPS.

[Kelsey Sontag · Rating 3 out of 5]

V quick read for me. Tho there were some parts that made me feel like sheeeesh, I wonder how that part impacted her relationships with her in-laws or kids. Some oversharing parts that I really hope she got permission from her kids before she shared. Def thought provoking as I have two boys growing up and in love with contact sports. This book recommends that all football is unnecessary and actually foolish. Hmm. Def something to consider, tho I don’t want to live in fear in an age that drips in all things fear because it is so tempting to make other peoples stories are own as we are bombarded with information. That said, still worth thinking about.

[Rachel Watson · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book captured my attention early on, hence the reason I finished reading it in less than 24 hours.
It’s a very transparent story, telling of the beginnings of their relationship until the end.
It opened my eyes more to CTE, and how it can affect people.
Rated PG due to alcohol and (prescription) drug abuse, physical abuse and mild profanity. It was refreshing to read a story of someone being in the trenches of life, but not having to resort to using ridiculous language to get their point across.

[Laura Cee · Rating 4 out of 5]

I was I solved in a terrible car accident in November and happened to have this book with me. My car was completely engulfed in fire and the book, along with everything else I had just purchased on my Christmas shopping trip was destroyed. I was over halfway finishing with the book and fou.d it so compelling. I hope to eventually get another copy, but in the mean time I do not hesitate to recommend this title to add to your reading list!

[David · Rating 5 out of 5]

Factual yet poignant wife's view of NFL

I liked the way she moved the narrative along. It was captivating the way she inserted the conversations to add clarity. The one thing that her husband said before he died about regretting entering the NFL was repeated at least three times. I believe she did this to emphasize her negative stance concerning professional football.

[Roger Smitter · Rating 3 out of 5]

The narrative takes on a difficult challenge: demonstrating the danger of playing football. The impact on an NFL player who has a loving wife and children occupies most of the story. There’s also a look behind the curtains of life in pro football. The book begins with what seems to be a statement about religious faith. However, the major themes go in multiple directions.

[Laura · Rating 3 out of 5]

I really struggled with rating this book. It is an important memoir, one of the only books to talk about the impact of concussions and CTE on families. One line stood out, where he lamented that something he loved so much (football) killed him. But overall the writing was not great and it felt like a lot of details were glossed over once he started getting sick.

[Julie · Rating 4 out of 5]

A fascinating and tragic look at an ex-NFL player's life after numerous helmet-to-helmet collisions resulted in concussions. Written by his widow, the story is raw and painful. The memoir challenges parents today to consider whether or not their children should be playing football.

[Troy Stirman · Rating 4 out of 5]

This a REALLY tough read, but necessary in order to understand how CTE affects hundreds of NFL, Hockey, and Lacrosse players. This is a personal story of shattered dreams and a family torn apart by addictions related to self medicating a disease that is not readily understood- and seldom diagnosed.

[Kelly Mckinney · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was written by a friend of mine. Our sons were good friends years ago. I love the honesty of it but it broke my heart that I had no clue the struggles going on in her life.

[Tom Priddis · Rating 2 out of 5]

Very informative.

[Maya Bahl · Rating 5 out of 5]

Such a moving read!

[Christina · Rating 3 out of 5]

Read this book in one day, very compelling. The books is making me rethink my relationship with football.

[Joel Burgess · Rating 4 out of 5]

Tragic and heartbreaking, but inspiring nonetheless!!

[Heather Leigh · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book broke my heart. If I ever have a son, he’s never touching a football.

[Desislava · Rating 4 out of 5]

Person and sincere look into some of many unspoken problems with professional athletes who most of all can affect their closest people.

[Jennifer · Rating 2 out of 5]

Honey, your husband was an alcoholic and a drug addict. Period.

[Donna · Rating 3 out of 5]

If you have ever had any questions about the damage football, and other contact sports, can do to a brain, this is the book to read. It's heartbreaking!

[Michele Zvonek Chauvin · Rating 5 out of 5]

Excellent. Couldn’t put it down. Amazing how little is known about the effects of concussions in sports and how it can completely change a persons life and all those around them. Easy read.