At Mama's Knee: Mothers and Race in Black and White

by April Ryan, Chris Matthews (Foreword)

Winner of the African American Literary Show Award for Best Non-Fiction

In her first book, The Presidency in Black and White, journalist April Ryan examined race in America through her experience as a White House reporter. In this book, she shifts the conversation from the White House to every home in America. At Mama’s Knee looks at race and race relations through the lessons that mothers transmit to their children. As a single African American mother in Baltimore, Ryan has struggled with each gut wrenching, race related news story to find the words to convey the right lessons to her daughters. To better understand how mothers transfer to their children wisdom on race and race relations, she reached out to other mothers—prominent political leaders like Hillary Clinton and Valerie Jarrett, celebrities like Cindy Williams, and others like Sybrina Fulton, Trayvon Martin’s mother, whose lives have been impacted by prominent race related events. At a time when Americans still struggle to address racial division and prejudice, their stories remind us that attitudes change from one generation to the next and one child at a time.

Features interviews Sybrina Fulton, mother of Trayvon Martin; John Lewis, congressman; Hillary Clinton, former First Lady, Secretary of State, Presidential candidate; Cindy Williams, actress known for role of Shirley on Laverne & Shirley; Cory Booker, United States senator; Christopher Darden, OJ Simpson prosecutor; Michael Cole, actor best known for role of Pete on The Mod Squad; Valerie Jarrett, presidential advisor; Kerry Kennedy, daughter of Robert and Ethel Kennedy; Iyanla Vansant, author, life coach and television personality; Harry Belafonte, singer, songwriter, actor, and social activist; President Barack Obama; and President Jimmy Carter.

Genres: Nonfiction, Politics, Parenting, African American, Social Justice, Feminism, Race

160 pages, Hardcover

First published December 15, 2016

Reviews

[Lauren · Rating 3 out of 5]

I heard Ms. Ryan speak this past summer at a book festival. She was such a compassionate speaker. Many of the stories she shared were also part of this book, so in that way, it rehashed several things I'd already heard and learned from her. While she largely stays with the theme of motherhood and raising children in the black community, she also combines stories surrounding the spring/summer 2015 riots in Baltimore after the death of Freddie Gray in police custody.

I particularly liked this quote about the strength of her community as a single mother:
[That is] a state of consciousness, and a label people put on you to hold you to their standards and criteria...I never called myself a single mother. Ever. I was never a single mother and you know why? I had other women in my community help me raise my children. I had a grandmother who was there for me. I wasn't single - I was unpartnered. That is a different definition.

[LaDonna · Rating 1 out of 5]

There is no mistaking that the one star rating speaks volume about my opinion of At Mama’s Knee. However, the single star cannot express my overall disappointment in the tome that April Ryan professes will discuss U.S. race relations. To this day, I can still remember the excitement I felt when I heard that Ms. Ryan had written a new book. Please appreciate the fact that over the past 36 months of following the Presidential primaries and election, I have developed a keen appreciation for Ms. Ryan’s insights, professionalism and overall demeanor. Come on…She works at the White House! And, as we struggle to understand/survive the Trump presidency, I could not wait to read the words of someone I respect; someone who has daily and direct access to the leader of the free world. So, now do you understand my conundrum of liking April Ryan, but disliking her newest book?

Ms. Ryan covers a wide range of topics that have gripped the African American community, since its inception in the bellies of slave ships. She touches upon the “n” word, assimilation, and faith—just to name a few topics. And, touches is truly the key word in that sentence. In less than 200 pages, April Ryan barely skims the surfaces of some of the most sensitive subjects in the African American community. The opinions and snippets that Ms. Ryan shares come from a wide variety of sources, from 80s movie star Rae Dawn Chong to former President Jimmy Carter. I found the subject matter too much and too far reaching for this small book. There are novels with more pages and details than At Mama’s Knee.

The potential is definitely here for a great study of the social norms within the African American community, especially as it relates to those instilled by African American mothers. I found the most telling tales came when the author spoke about her own mother, Mary Vivian Gowans Ryan, and how she impacted the lives of those she came in contact with. However, overall, April Ryan did not deliver this time. I have had better and more moving conversations at family reunions and in hair salons.

[James · Rating 4 out of 5]

I stand for social justice, racial equality, and anti-racism. I was carefully taught grace, charity, mercy, and reconciliation for everyone by my mom: post-graduate education, cultural savvy, and walking-the-walk in her life.

April Ryan observes that "in some family settings a mother played a role in some way of shaping attitudes about racial matters." My mom's influence started by sharing Billie Holiday's recording of "Strange Fruit" (lynching, hung from a tree) and Afro-American poetry. Then we followed Brown v. Board of Education, Emmett Till who was 14 a year younger than me, Montgomery Bus Boycott and the bombings, and Federal Troops protecting nine high schoolers at Little Rock High School.

Ryan's story delves into the urban center of Baltimore, MD as a "variety of socioeconomic communities ultimately make up each locale." Congressman and national leader Elijah Cummings was born in Baltimore. He laughingly says that as a child his ninety-year-old mother never expected to see white folk in her living room.

He remembered her instruction, "You have to teach them how to treat you," when the head of the Oversight and Government Reform Committee, Darrell Isa, turned Cumming's microphone off during a televised hearing. Cummings reacted angrily to Issa's unseemly and improper treatment. The news was filled with outrage. Congressman Issa apologized. His brilliant mom had a fifth-grade education.

[Quotisha Backey · Rating 5 out of 5]

She addressed the many elephants in the room . She talks about things that make us uncomfortable.

[Katy O. · Rating 4 out of 5]

Incredibly important nonfiction book on race and motherhood in America, leaning more heavily toward race. NOT a quick memoir or a light read. Ryan's acknowledgement and celebration of the importance of mothers is woven throughout the entire book, especially single mothers and especially Black mothers. There is extensive research evident and a vast number of personal interviews quoted directly within the book, from figures such as President Obama, Valerie Jarrett, Cory Booker and Wes Moore (a favorite author of mine) among many others. I had a few issues with some repetition of content (almost as if each chapter were a stand-alone essay) but I won't let that take away from the importance of the message and content. Ryan's analysis and condemnation of the n-word (both -er and -a endings) is very thorough and includes insight from sources both for and against the right for Blacks to use the word. Whites, obviously, are banned from its use regardless of ending, tone or intention. The chapter about "the talk" is reminiscent of the coverage Michael Eric Dyson gives the topic in his "Tears We Cannot Stop" - heartbreaking and vital for everyone in the US to know about. The coverage of the city of Baltimore was very interesting to me, as the only other knowledge I have of the city comes from Wes Moore's book "The Other Wes Moore". This book is recommended reading for all.

[Naomi · Rating 4 out of 5]

Ryan gives readers a window onto being an African-American mother dealing with racism - institutional, cultural, and personal - and the additional stresses on families and children this causes. Good book for small group discussions, book clubs, and parenting groups. Important to leave room to honor personal experiences when discussing this book and, especially for majority white groups not to dismiss the experiences shared.

[Diana Griffing · Rating 4 out of 5]

Great collection of essays and thoughts. I agreed with the majority, but am hesitant with Ryan's frequent applauding of color blindness, and her assertion that People of Color's reclaiming of the N-word is negative. I think there are complexities and emotions and ways of expressing these thoughts, and for some people, the use is empowering, others not so much- a widespread condemnation of that movement is over-reaching.

[Marypeitz peitz · Rating 5 out of 5]

April Ryan's book reaffirmed how important mothers are and especially black mothers raising families in challenging circumstances. Clearly we are faced with racism in our country and I hope that the more we understand about other's circumstances, the more compassionate we can be.

[Alison · Rating 3 out of 5]

I didn't so much care for the writing style and felt like it meandered too much for me. That said, the stories here are important, particularly now and considering the Baltimore setting she is writing about.

[Wendy · Rating 5 out of 5]

http://maybesbooks.blogspot.com/2017/...

[Evelyn Osby · Rating 5 out of 5]

Great book, very informative.

[Lynn Alan Heath · Rating 2 out of 5]

i could not read the whole book

[Heather · Rating 3 out of 5]

What I liked about this book was hearing a variety of perspectives from both mothers and their adult children about how race has impacted their relationships and conversations with each other.

[Cheryl Rowland · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is an interesting book with a lot references from famous women both black and white about how they learned things at their mother's knee.

[Mary Ruth · Rating 3 out of 5]

Some tough parts.

[Petty Lisbon · Rating 3 out of 5]

This was an interesting book and brought up a lot of points that people who are not Black parents wouldn't think about. April Ryan further expands on topics like police brutality, "post race" America, and being a Black working mother through personal stories of her own and her peers. I think some of the essays got a little off topic. There was one particular chapter where she spoke against a specific comedian which didn't really have to do with parenting.

[Joyce Stramler · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book felt personal. I could feel her passion as I read each story. As a great grand mother who was also a single mother raising my own children I felt the writer was in some ways telling my story.