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What Husbands Wish Their Wives Knew About Men
The book for women, from a man's point of view, who want to know more about why their husbands do what they do and think what they think so they can encourage them in their husband roles. The best-selling author of The Man in the Mirror helps women understand the man they married--what he's feeling, what he's thinking, what he's going through.
- GenresRelationshipsNonfiction
238 pages, Hardcover
First published December 23, 1997
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124 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 6 of 6 reviews
August 8, 2023
The title is a misnomer. It should read, “What Christian Boomer Workaholics Wish Their Wives Knew About Christian Boomer Workaholics.”
Twenty years later it slowly dawns on these men that they gave their best years to careers that promised what they couldn’t deliver.
I picked this up on a whim at a thrift store. I flipped through the pages, stopped at the following quote, and thought I had a winner:
If I could make only one observation about men today, it would be that men are tired—mentally, emotionally, physically, and spiritually tired. Weary of life.
Unfortunately, this turned out to be one of the few relatable entries.
We have created a culture that requires more energy than men have to give.
The Venn diagram of my experience as a man and the author’s experience as a man approaches two circles. At one point, he mentions manipulating his wife into letting him wear a solid gold Swiss watch.
For over a year I dreamed of those historic, Martha Washington-style Chippendale chairs adorning my office.
There’s a whole chapter on the “Golden Years”, which are defined by a husband’s newfound desire to discover who his wife really is. That’s right, ladies, you get to wait until your husband is retired before he takes an interest in you. No wonder the divorce rate is so high.
A typical husband wants his wife to look good, but he is not obsessed. However, he does consider his wife’s appearance a reflection on his judgment.
In the list of relationship books for men, this is just noise. I wanted to give Morley the benefit of the doubt - maybe he wrote it before good relationship books existed? But no, this was written 7 years after The Five Love Languages. This just feels like Morley checking something off the list of external success - as a “business leader” and “one of the pioneers of the Christian men’s movement”, of course he needed to write a book.
”If a man gets drunk on whiskey we put him out of the church. If a man gets drunk on mammon we make him a deacon.”
Funny, for a book ostensibly by a Christian man and for Christian men, it is strongly oriented toward external achievement. Which brings me full circle to the Christian Boomer workaholics - almost a contradiction in terms, but the cognitive dissonance is strong with that generation.
”If you don’t have enough time for your children you can be 100 percent certain that you are not following God’s will for your life.”
Ah, but maybe I’m being unfair. Perhaps the reason my generation doesn’t define itself by a job title is because we got to watch the vain, hollow, ultimately meaningless pursuit of fulfillment and identity through work that Morley’s generation perpetrated?
Men increasingly consider corporate loyalty a thing to be balanced against family needs.
A stopped clock is right twice a day, and Morley’s writing isn’t all junk. He occasionally strikes gold.
The velocity of today’s culture leaves many men drained of the spiritual energy needed to reflect on their temptations and the moral energy to resist them.
Not often enough for this to be worth reading, though.
If you are not content where you are, you will not be content where you want to go.
tl;dr just read For Women Only.
Twenty years later it slowly dawns on these men that they gave their best years to careers that promised what they couldn’t deliver.
I picked this up on a whim at a thrift store. I flipped through the pages, stopped at the following quote, and thought I had a winner:
If I could make only one observation about men today, it would be that men are tired—mentally, emotionally, physically, and spiritually tired. Weary of life.
Unfortunately, this turned out to be one of the few relatable entries.
We have created a culture that requires more energy than men have to give.
The Venn diagram of my experience as a man and the author’s experience as a man approaches two circles. At one point, he mentions manipulating his wife into letting him wear a solid gold Swiss watch.
For over a year I dreamed of those historic, Martha Washington-style Chippendale chairs adorning my office.
There’s a whole chapter on the “Golden Years”, which are defined by a husband’s newfound desire to discover who his wife really is. That’s right, ladies, you get to wait until your husband is retired before he takes an interest in you. No wonder the divorce rate is so high.
A typical husband wants his wife to look good, but he is not obsessed. However, he does consider his wife’s appearance a reflection on his judgment.
In the list of relationship books for men, this is just noise. I wanted to give Morley the benefit of the doubt - maybe he wrote it before good relationship books existed? But no, this was written 7 years after The Five Love Languages. This just feels like Morley checking something off the list of external success - as a “business leader” and “one of the pioneers of the Christian men’s movement”, of course he needed to write a book.
”If a man gets drunk on whiskey we put him out of the church. If a man gets drunk on mammon we make him a deacon.”
Funny, for a book ostensibly by a Christian man and for Christian men, it is strongly oriented toward external achievement. Which brings me full circle to the Christian Boomer workaholics - almost a contradiction in terms, but the cognitive dissonance is strong with that generation.
”If you don’t have enough time for your children you can be 100 percent certain that you are not following God’s will for your life.”
Ah, but maybe I’m being unfair. Perhaps the reason my generation doesn’t define itself by a job title is because we got to watch the vain, hollow, ultimately meaningless pursuit of fulfillment and identity through work that Morley’s generation perpetrated?
Men increasingly consider corporate loyalty a thing to be balanced against family needs.
A stopped clock is right twice a day, and Morley’s writing isn’t all junk. He occasionally strikes gold.
The velocity of today’s culture leaves many men drained of the spiritual energy needed to reflect on their temptations and the moral energy to resist them.
Not often enough for this to be worth reading, though.
If you are not content where you are, you will not be content where you want to go.
tl;dr just read For Women Only.
March 3, 2022
I always had a personal opinion that men and women were completely different physically,biologically, mentally and emotionally. As a women though I can understand all these above mentioned aspects from a women's point of view. I couldn't do the same from a man's point of view. Simply because.....I was not a man 🤷♀️🤷♀️.
Well that sparked up my curiosity to know more about men. Just what was running up in their minds. Well If I was to ask any male around me about this. I would obviously get sarcasm for an answer which I clearly do not want.
So I decided to search in Internet for booms about men. To know their emotional side, surprisingly most of the books about men were related to work, motivation, how to do business , self improvement etc. And there were very less books that focused on the vulnerable side of men. That is what they feel each time their wife hurts them unintentionally whether with words or fist( trust me we srly do not realise our own strength at times which could turn a playful fight into world war 3)
And that's when I found this book. I realised it had the element I was looking for and started to read it. I'm not giving you any spoilers but the book pretty much unfolds what would be a man's thinking in specific day to day life situations and he also Invovles his behind the scenes conversations with his wife which is totally humorous.
Not gonna lie it was a great read. I loved it and hope you too love it.
Well that sparked up my curiosity to know more about men. Just what was running up in their minds. Well If I was to ask any male around me about this. I would obviously get sarcasm for an answer which I clearly do not want.
So I decided to search in Internet for booms about men. To know their emotional side, surprisingly most of the books about men were related to work, motivation, how to do business , self improvement etc. And there were very less books that focused on the vulnerable side of men. That is what they feel each time their wife hurts them unintentionally whether with words or fist( trust me we srly do not realise our own strength at times which could turn a playful fight into world war 3)
And that's when I found this book. I realised it had the element I was looking for and started to read it. I'm not giving you any spoilers but the book pretty much unfolds what would be a man's thinking in specific day to day life situations and he also Invovles his behind the scenes conversations with his wife which is totally humorous.
Not gonna lie it was a great read. I loved it and hope you too love it.
August 21, 2017
Wow. This man is very old fashioned and sexist. He expects women to stay attractive and be great mothers and housekeepers. While saying it is respectable for men to get fatter as they age. Just wow!
March 6, 2013
I thought this was a very informative book. It made a lot of good points although none of the examples really fit me or my husband. I would recommend other wives read this book because no two relationships are the same. What didn't work for me may very well work for someone else. It was an easy read and written rather well. It is a book that will continue to be on my bookshelf as a just in case reference book!
August 10, 2013
A good, if somewhat man oriented (read, the book seemed bent on persuading men to change) relationship book. This wasn't really my favorite book on the subject but was a fairly interesting read.
July 9, 2012
Very good book Great insight. Lots to take note of.
Displaying 1 - 6 of 6 reviews