H

by Elizabeth Shepard

H is for Elliot. Elliot is twelve-year-old Benjamin Sherman's best friend. To the counselors at the camp where he is spending his first summer, Benjamin is a "freaky kid" who shuns his peers and is strangely - and perhaps dangerously - attached to Elliot, his stuffed letter H. To his mother, Benjamin is an object of anxiety and pity. To his father, he's bizarre and embarrassing. To his psychiatrist, he is a case study in mental illness. Benjamin has a ritual and reason for everything, from the way he makes pizza bagels to his first kiss to his communion with the toy that the grownups all around him are so intent on taking away. And if those rituals are in any way disturbed, the outcome may not be Benjamin's "recovery" - it may be his destruction. Through the letters of Benjamin's mother and father, his sister, Lemon, his camp counselors and psychiatrist - and most touchingly through those Benjamin himself writes to his stuffed confidant, Elliot - this audacious and utterly unsentimental novel gives us a moving and sometimes shocking intimacy with a child whose disorder may be a kind of fragile genius. H is compelling, disturbing, and truthful in a single breath - a riveting look at what is irrevocably lost as Benjamin becomes "more normal."

Genres: Fiction, Modern

180 pages, Hardcover

First published April 1, 1995

Reviews

[Topaz Winters · Rating 4 out of 5]

i've been thinking a lot about my own tightrope-dance of mental disorders lately, wondering how i could possibly find beauty in all this hurting. i think perhaps this book gave me too honest of an answer.

h is an exploration of & tribute to a cause already lost. as if there could be a loveliness in mental illness. as if a fantasy world could hold more truth than any iteration of reality: every word in this book, every shaking letter, is a tribute to the sanity of madness. it leaves behind a bone-deep ache for me, a yearning for some kind of middle ground between curing & breaking, for benjamin & for me. for all of us.

is the act of healing a losing or a finding? is mental illness a wasteland or is there light worth scavenging? in medication, in therapy, in slowly losing grasp on the lifelines that tie us to our disorders:

how much is enough? how much is enough? how much is enough?

[Sadie Gronigan · Rating 2 out of 5]

I liked the format, but I feel like this book maybe had more impact when it was released than it does now. I think this story had the opportunity to be more informative than it was. Also I think it should have been longer

[ava · Rating 4 out of 5]

Love letters to a stuffed letter "H". Like "Equus", in the pantheon of mental illness literature-- what do we add through the "curing", the taking away of florid fantasy-reality? Told entirely through letters of the Dear So-n-So sort. Recommended reading by the National Mental Health Association but a fascinating little read nonetheless. Just go ahead and f--ing read this if you find this at Goodwill and it'll be worth your State Quarters, and think of it sometimes, think of "H" and wish your imagination was never robbed of you, wish that lovely illness had some pendulum midpoint.

[Dinastuti · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a great book about a boy who spent his summer in a camp . There's no narration; only letters from the parents, the camp counsellor, his sister, and the boy himself (to himself). My best guess that this boy is autistic because he carries around a stuffed toy in the form of 'H' and writing the most bizzare letter to himself.

[Thomas Schrepfer]

I really don't know how to rate this letter-titled book. But I finished it as my mom and I were on the way to Kmart in the car to buy a new filter for the furnace and by the time I was through the automatic sliding doors I was sort of crying my goddamn eyes out. Boy that was embarrassing. I hid in sporting goods until I felt better.

[Kevin · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a pretty obscure novel, apparently by a "one hit wonder" (though I hope she'll write again). It's the tale of a troubled kid whose only friend at camp is a stuffed letter H. It was recommended to me by a crazy ex-girlfriend and I ended up really liking it. It was funny and sad.

[Ann · Rating 2 out of 5]

From the dusty shelf...

First, a note that this is definitely for older kiddos - middle school at least, probably better for high school - because of language and sexual content.

I had a hard time getting into this book because some of the things that were supposed to be realistic seemed so fictional to me: The boy is sent to a summer camp in a different state for ALMOST TWO ENTIRE MONTHS! This is so far from my own life experience that it was really difficult for me to relate.

The book is also told through a lot of letters, and while I can appreciate that in 1994 we didn't email or text, I cannot imagine sending a letter (rather than making a phone call) if I wanted to share information with a camp director about my child with significant mental health needs. I cannot imagine the director writing a letter back rather than calling. In 1994 we used the telephone a lot, folks!

Those sorts of things just had me scratching my head a lot as I read the book.

The point of the book is supposed to be the journey of the main character as he lets go of his very real imaginary friend. As a teacher, I wanted to know HOW this happens, but that is never very clear from the letters we're able to read.

[Atara · Rating 4 out of 5]

Twelve-year-old Benjamin's best friend is a stuffed letter H named Elliot. Elliot is Benjamin's best friend and the only person Benjamin talks to. His diagnosis is autism and depression. When reading this book, one must remember it was written nearly thirty years ago. Much more is known about both autism and depression in 2024. This book is an epistolary novel, everything is told through a series of letters between camp directors, counselors, and friends; Benjamin's psychiatrist; his sister; and his parents. However, the most affecting letters are those between Benjamin and Elliot, yes Elliot responds to Benjamin's letters via Benjamin. Through these letters, we witness firsthand Benjamin's mental health struggles. This book was recommended by the National Mental Health Association in 1995 and I wonder if it would be today—still, an interesting book.

[Dawn-Lorraine · Rating 3 out of 5]

Epistolary novels are typically good to read - the fill in the blanks aspect of sorting through the story can make it more engrossing. The author did a good job here of creating different voices through the letters. And generally this was an interesting read, but ultimately it doesn't really go anywhere. Based on the main character, it's not surprising that there's no clear resolution, but it it a bit disappointing.

[Meg · Rating 3 out of 5]

It’s been a few days, and my feelings about this book are still mixed and confused.

I thought it’s style was extremely interesting, and I thought this epistolary choice gave the author a unique way into delving into the minds of the characters. It was a balance of loss of seeing them in action while the gain of learning through pieces, something I have seen as disadvantageous before, but worked for this novel.

I can’t quite pinpoint it, but this simply wasn’t my favorite. It was definitely interesting, quick, and unique - but I wasn’t running to the hills and screaming the title.

[Alyssa Miller · Rating 2 out of 5]

This was an enjoyable yet simple read. I liked the story and I think it could have a meaningful impact in mental health spaces. That being said, the writing style was a little distracting and I would’ve liked a deeper, more flushed out story.

[Melanie · Rating 4 out of 5]

I wasn't sure about this book most of the way, then loved it. Short read, worth it.

[Steven Brand · Rating 5 out of 5]

As with many family illnesses, the sufferer is sometimes better off emotionally than those who love them & feel powerless to help.

[Patty · Rating 3 out of 5]

Mental illness in a 12-yr old boy. Disturbing.

[James_R_706 · Rating 5 out of 5]

I think that this book is really good. I think that a lot of people should read it. It shows that people with disabilities can be difficult, and not seem to have a huge personality. But in H, it's saying that people do, he just expresses it in different ways.

[Jennybeast · Rating 2 out of 5]

Very odd book on mental illness from the viewpoint of a child. Not as amusing as The Curious Incident of the Dog in the NightTime, but not bad.

[Kat · Rating 2 out of 5]

I liked The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time better, both as a book and as a representation of some of the unique traits of children with autism.