Giving Sorrow Words: Women's Stories of Grief After Abortion

by Melinda Tankard Reist

I wish someone had said, 'There would be losses having a baby, but don't underestimate the loss of having an abortion.'

Abortion has been presented as a simple procedure that allows women to put the crisis of an unintended pregnancy behind them. The women in this book were told they'd be able to get on with their lives after abortion. But their lives would never be the same.

Giving Sorrow Words includes the personal accounts of 18 women who had abortions and draws on the experiences of more than 200 others. These women share their stories of personal suffering and loss -- stories that have often gone unheard in a society eager to dismiss abortion-related trauma.

Australian journalist and women's rights advocate Melinda Tankard Reist examines the experiences of women, including the lack of resources and support, the misinformation and lack of informed consent, and the intension pressure and coercion often applied by partners, parents and society in general to force women into unwanted abortions.

Genres: Nonfiction

204 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 2000

About the author

Melinda Tankard Reist is a Canberra author, speaker, commentator, blogger and advocate for women and girls.

Writing

Melinda is author of Giving Sorrow Words: Women’s Stories of Grief After Abortion (Duffy&Snellgrove, 2000), Defiant Birth: Women Who Resist Medical Eugenics (Spinifex Press, 2006) and the recently released Getting Real: Challenging the Sexualisation of Girls (Spinifex Press, 2009), now in its second printing.

Melinda’s commentary has been published and broadcast in Australia and overseas. She has appeared recently on ABC’s Q&A, Channel Seven’s ‘The Morning Show’, ABC 666 ‘Keynote Speakers’, ABC Melbourne ‘Jon Faine program’ and 2GB Drive, to name a few. She’s also editor of Faking It: The Female Image in Young Women’s Magazines (WFA 2007). Melinda is named in Who’s Who of Women (Australia) and World Who’s Who of Women.

Speaking

Melinda is in demand as a speaker in Australia and overseas, including for schools, conferences and youth events. Melinda has addressed intimate gatherings and audiences of 15,000. Melinda also consults on a range of issues of concern to women. See the testimonials section for some of the responses to recent addresses she has given.

Advocacy

Melinda’s advocacy for women and girls has included helping establish a supported accommodation and outreach service for women pregnant and without support, involvement in projects to address poverty, trafficking and sex slavery, and working to highlight and address the objectification of women and sexualisation of girls in Australia and globally.

Campaigning

Melinda is one of the founders of a new grassroots campaigning movement “Collective Shout: For a world free of sexploitation“. Recently launched, Collective Shout names and shames corporations, advertisers and marketers who objectify women and sexualise girls to sell products and services. Collective Shout has seen success with a number of recent campaigns against products which sexualise and commodify children.

Reviews

[Lauren · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is an intense read. I will now live with imagery that cannot be erased but I am glad I read this book. It opens up a whole new world on the other side of abortion that I had not considered, despite my strongly held beliefs about abortion.

The book includes many testimonies between a heart-breaking introduction including excerpts from other stories that couldn't be included in the book and an information-packed afterword discussing some studies done in the area of abortion-grief.

This book is worth-while, especially if you seek to understand the choices around abortion more completely.

[Sarah · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was a powerful book on postabortion grief. The stories were heartbreaking, and a reminder that abortion has 2 victims – the baby, and the mother. It has a ripple effect towards other family members as well. These women were brave to share their struggles. The author's analysis and the quotes from the abortion clinic worker also gave good insights.

[Danny · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a very insightful book to read. Despite it being utterly heart-breaking to read about what these women have been through.

This is a collection of open, honest and raw accounts of many different types of women with many different background, beliefs and values in life, all of which lead to different yet still sorrowful and often angry (of which is very understandable and well within their rights) reactions to the events lived and told in this eye-opening book.

I'm finding it difficult to word a review that correctly envelops how impactful this book has been in how I view modern society, feminism and women who are put into situations where abortion becomes a choice. But overall I think this book and the women who have shared their accounts, sorrows and regrets, have greatly improved my values, thoughts and beliefs on the subject of abortion, as well as modern feminism, liberalism and just society in general and where we are (and aren't) heading as a society.

It's a very scary, melancholic and at times, hopeless book to read through, but overall I believe it is a book everyone should read (both men and women) and something that should be talked about more openly for the sake of all women and society as a whole.

One big thing I got out of this (as someone who is strongly against abortion) is an empathetic and caring perspective on women who have chosen to have an abortion, have been/are faced with the choice of having an abortion and circumstances surrounding them during these times. I had no idea women had to endure such careless and apathetic treatment from professionals when recieving or applying for an abortion and/counseling for an abortion, nor was I aware of the agony some of these women had to go through just to make the choice. What horrified me more was that many of these women were manipulated, pressured and coerced beforehand, during and after the abortion.

Now, coming out on the other end of this book it's a wonder how many people still believe we have progressed much at all as a society.

Edit:
I feel like I should also say that I really admire these women for the bravery they have displayed in sharing their beliefs, experiences and feelings on such a controversial and political subject.

[Joya · Rating 4 out of 5]

I look forward to reading Melinda's next book to be released shortly.