Becoming Who I Am: Young Men on Being Gay

by Ritch C. Savin-Williams

Proud, happy, grateful gay youth describe their lives in terms that would have seemed surprising only a generation ago. Yet many adults, including parents, seem skeptical about this sea change in perceptions and attitudes. Even in an age of growing tolerance, coming out as gay is supposed to involve a crisis or struggle. This is the kind of thinking, say the young men at the heart of this book, that needs to change.

"Becoming Who I Am "is an astute exploration of identity and sexuality as told by today s generation of gay young men. Through a series of in-depth interviews with teenagers and men in their early 20s, Ritch Savin-Williams reflects on how the life stories recorded here fulfill the promise of an affirmative, thriving gay identity outlined in his earlier book, "The New Gay Teenager." He offers a contemporary perspective on gay lives viewed across key milestones: from dawning awareness of same-sex attraction to first sexual encounters; from the uncertainty and exhilaration of coming out to family and friends to the forming of adult romantic relationships; from insights into what it means to be gay today to musings on what the future may hold. The voices hail from diverse ethnic and socioeconomic backgrounds, but as gay men they share basic experiences in common, conveyed here with honesty, humor, and joy."

Genres: LGBT, Nonfiction, M M Romance

322 pages, Hardcover

First published September 19, 2016

Reviews

[Teal · Rating 2 out of 5]

”I continue to be amazed at how the author managed to make this book so boring. At this rate, it'll be years before I finish."

That’s me quoting myself from an update I made a year and a half ago.

At my current rate of progress, I’m not sure I’ll live long enough to finish this book. So, more than 2 years after I started, full of soon-to-be-crushed optimism and sadly-misplaced enthusiasm, I’m relegating it to my DNF shelf. To quote myself from another update:

”How is it even POSSIBLE to make this subject boring?”

It reminds me of when, many years earlier, I’d stumbled across And Then I Met This Woman: Previously Married Women's Journeys into Lesbian Relationships, seen the reviews for it that basically all said BORING BORING BORING, but dismissed them all and bought it anyway, thinking, ”How is it even POSSIBLE to make this subject boring?”

Well, I still don’t know how it’s possible, folks, but let me tell you, it can be done. Fragmented and disjointed story-telling, an insistent focus on the least interesting aspects of the subjects’ experiences, whatever — it’s not worth my while to try to diagnose why this went so terribly, terribly wrong. It’s simply time to file it on the shelf next to its partner in unremitting and equally inexplicable dullness, and walk away.

DNF @ 33%

[Karen · Rating 5 out of 5]

4.5 stars

This book could prove very helpful to gay teens (and perhaps young adults), especially because so many sex-education programs do not include much (if anything) about gay/queer sexuality. This book is not a how-to manual for sex itself. It's instead a good resource that covers many social, emotional, and psychological aspects of suspecting, recognizing, and admitting one is gay (or gay-leaning). "Normal" covers a wide range, and this book is reassuring about the variety of ways one comes to sexual adulthood. My only disclaimer is that, although the author does a good job at presenting the info—following some survey participants in depth and using occasional humor, among other techniques—the book may sometimes seem dry or academic to some readers. I, however, appreciated its contribution to creating happier and mentally healthier young men.

[willowdog · Rating 2 out of 5]

First, I thought that it’s audience was not adult, but YA. And then, the audience was adult. Had a problem with that in the author was addressing the reader (second tense). I thought that it included a number of generalities—just as the generalities of the horrors of coming out are exaggerated. Even with these 40, who seemed to be youths that would have seen the request or the 200 teens he has interviewed over time, I trust that gay teens have definitely changed. Yet, even in the changes, many of the stories for older adults were the same.

[Mills College Library]

306.76608 S2675 2016