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64 pages, Paperback
First published October 1, 1990
To be alive then was to be aware how necessary
prayer was and impossible.
The philosophers had done
their work well, demolishing
proofs we never believed in.
We were drifting in space-
time, in touch with what we had
left and could not return to.
We rehearsed the excuses for the deficiencies of love’s
kingdom, avoiding our eyebeams.
Beset, as we were, with science’s signposts, we whimpered
to no purpose that we were lost.
We are here still. What
is survival’s relationship with meaning? The answer once
was the bone’s music at the lips of time. We are incinerating them both now in the mind’s crematorium.
‘The body is mine and the soul is mine’
says the machine. ‘I am at the dark source
where the good is indistinguishable from evil. I fill my tanks up
and there is war. I empty them and there is not peace. I am the sound,
not of the world breathing, but of the catch rather in the world’s breath.’
Is there a contraceptive for the machine, that we may enjoy
intercourse with it without being overrun
by vocabulary? We go up into the temple of ourselves and give thanks that we are not
as the machine is. But it waits for us outside, knowing that when we emerge it is into the noise of its hand beating on the breast’s iron as Pharisaically as ourselves.
But the silence in the mind
is when we live best, within
listening distance of the silence
we call God. This is the deep
calling to deep of the psalm-
writer, the bottomless ocean we launch the armada of our thoughts on, never arriving.
It is a presence, then, whose margins are our margins;
that calls us out over our own fathoms. What to do but draw a little nearer to such ubiquity by remaining still?
I think that maybe
I will be a little surer
of being a little nearer.
That’s all. Eternity is in the understanding
that that little is more than enough.