Private Eye's Oxford Book of Pseuds

by Unknown

96 pages, Hardcover

First published February 1, 1984

About the author

Books can be attributed to "Unknown" when the author or editor (as applicable) is not known and cannot be discovered. If at all possible, list at least one actual author or editor for a book instead of using "Unknown".

Books whose authorship is purposefully withheld should be attributed instead to Anonymous.

Reviews

[Dan · Rating 5 out of 5]

A 40-year-old cull from Pseuds Corner, a (mostly) reader-submitted feature in the magazine reprinting cringeworthy examples of writing meant to be profound. The sources tend to be newspaper and magazine pieces on art, food, music and literature, along with gallery catalogs, university course descriptions and the occasional Guardian sportswriter's soccer-themed rhapsody.

In some cases, it seems like Private Eye hadn't quite figured out the distinction between embarrassing and deliberately over-the-top, and in others, things that would raise no one's eyebrows today get the spotlight (think of Orwell's attitude toward vegetarianism.) But most of the entries are wonderful/horrible. A few of the authors (society columnist Taki, for example, and Ian McEwan) are still with us and presumably committing pseudery; for some of the others, this book will be their only monument.

It's conveniently organized alphabetically, starting with Art and moving briskly on to Births and Deaths, Books, Bootlickers, Anthony Burgess, etc. A few examples:

Lesley-Anne Down, actress:
I remember the happiest moment of my life. ... I was sitting in my garden and listening to Tchaikovsky's Violin Concerto for the first time, and a bee came and sat on my leg and peed. I didn't know bees could pee. I could feel my eyes filling up with tears and I felt an intense spiritual happiness."

Art critic Lionelli Puppi in his book "Andrea Palladio," translated by Pearl Sanders:
However, if we look at the relationship established with the pre-existing dimension within which the created object is placed, we become aware of the acceptance of a dialogue which admits the existence of the dialectical pole of an objective horizon and its confrontation, although the perspective of a total redefinition founded upon the inserted object [sic]; it will be noted also ... that the action tends to occur not so much through a forced upheaval of the predetermined structural field or the quantitive demands of the inserted object, as through the emotive force of the new presence, borne over a plane of gentle modulations.

New Musical Express:
The world needs the minimalism of The Ramones.

It needs a band who've distilled all moral, political and social philosophy down to the phrase "gabba gabba hey" -- and it needs it now.

Yeah.

There's even an entry from Barry Fantoni, a core Private Eye contributor, in the U.K.'s Cosmopolitan magazine about encountering a painting by Modigliani. Its inclusion could show the famed British spirit of fair play, although Fantoni probably submitted it himself.